Make Up for Forgetting Someone's Birthday

For most people, their birthday is a special day. Not all have elaborate celebrations or run around singing “Happy Birthday” to themselves, but typically people feel a little different that day, somewhat distinguished. When we forget the birthdays of those we care about, not only do we feel badly but they often feel let down, too. The key to making up for forgetting someone’s birthday is to craft an apology that will be meaningful to the other person and that shows you put some thought and effort into correcting your memory lapse. Some of the best apologies are expressed literally yet in unique ways, or through giving your time to help the other person, by getting crafty and making things specific to and for that person and by taking time out from everything else and, instead, spending it with them.

Steps

Apologizing Creatively

1. Know how to apologize. When you hurt someone, like forgetting a person’s birthday, express that you recognize what you’ve done and are concerned about their feelings. When deciding how you will apologize, think about the person to whom you’re apologizing. Who are they to you? What is the person like? What would that person find most meaningful? Let the answers to these questions guide you in creating your apology.
2. Design and mail a personalized jigsaw puzzle. One way to apologize and demonstrate you truly mean it is to spread your apology out over the course of several days or more. Here’s one way to do this. There are websites online that allow you to upload photos, which they then use to create a jigsaw puzzle for you of varying sizes. Choose a photo of the two of you based upon your relationship and the message you want to convey in your apology. Upload the photo and when you get the puzzle, write on the back of each piece expressing that you’re sorry and, if you choose, what the person means to you.
   • It doesn’t have to be sappy or sentimental; something funny might be best for the person whose birthday you forgot.
   • When you’re done, mail one piece (or more) of the puzzle every day to the other person.
3. Create “I’m Sorry” coupons. Another way to spread out your apology is to create apology or “I’m Sorry” coupons or vouchers for services or activities that the other person can redeem at times of his or her choosing. Again, think about who the person is and what would be most meaningful when deciding what you’ll be giving. You can either make the coupons yourself using art supplies or your computer and printer or you can go to websites like givecoupons.com or spottedsparrow.com and have them printed for you. On the back, write what each coupon is “worth.”
4. Apologize on social media. Making a public apology not only shows that you have humility (or simply don’t get embarrassed easily) but also that you’re willing to accept responsibility for and go the extra mile to make up for your lapse. If you don’t think the other person would be embarrassed by this approach, post an apology on his or her Facebook page and tweet an apology on his or her Twitter feed. Tailor it to your relationship and the person’s personality.
   • Add a photo, quote or song that is particularly poignant (or funny) to you both.
   • It’s highly unlikely he or she will be the only person to respond.
5. Go on air to apologize. Another way to publicly apologize is to say you’re sorry on air. If you know what radio station the person listens to every day on the way to work – or at another time – contact the program’s DJ and explain the situation. Ask if you can get 30 seconds of scheduled on-air time to make your apology. Also see if they’ll play a particular song right after it, a song that is special to you and the other person. Be persistent if you don’t get a response right away. If they agree, write out what you plan to say and rehearse it. You’ll only have one chance, and you want to nail it.
   • To ensure the other person turns on the radio that day and at that time, you may need to enlist the help of someone you can trust to keep it a secret.
   • If that’s not an option, call the other person shortly before you go on air and say he or she should turn on the radio because they’re playing some really good music or something to that effect.
6. Wait for National I Forgot Day. July 2nd is National I Forgot Day. Believe it or not, there does, indeed, exist such a day. If the other person’s birthday wasn’t too much before July 2nd, you could use this day to your advantage. Go to nationalcalendar.com and order a National Day Wall Calendar. When you get it, circle July 2nd and write a personalized apology for missing his or her birthday. Ask the person over for dinner at your place on July 2. If he or she can’t do dinner, try lunch. Make a home-cooked meal with all of their favorites and set the table with only the calendar as the other person’s place mat so it will be sure to stand out.
   • When you sit down to eat, point to the calendar and make your apology – one that likely won’t be forgotten!

Giving With Your Time

1. Bestow a night of babysitting. Obviously, this would be for someone who has a child or children, but as apologies go this is golden for the stretched-too-thin parents of today. Get creative about how you might present it and your apology. If the other person has an infant, for example, show up one day unannounced with a baby doll in a stroller. Tucked into the doll’s hand or side, have a card expressing your apologies for missing their birthday, along with a certificate you made for a day or evening of free babysitting.
   • You’ll probably need to stipulate that you’ll need some advance notice, but do it in the fine print.
2. Clean up their computer. We all know someone who isn’t particularly tech-savvy and has so many files on his or her desktop that it’s amazing anything can be found, let alone opened. Generally, it’s become quite the nightmare for the person, too. One way to apologize to someone like this, and make quite an impact, would be to give his or her computer a little sprucing up, assuming you know how to do such things. Email the person a personalized, belated birthday card, letting him or her know you feel badly about forgetting and that you’d like to redeem yourself by breathing new life into the contraption they’re staring at now.
3. Take on the yard work. While there are a few people in the world who genuinely enjoy mowing the lawn, trimming edges and pulling weeds, it’s safe to say the vast majority would rather spend Sunday afternoons doing other things, like watching football or going shopping – in the air conditioning. Thus for many, taking this off their hands in the way of an apology could mean an awful lot. Consider who the person is when thinking about how you’ll deliver your apology and this gift of your time.
   • For example, if it’s your father, perhaps you could sneak into his closet and get his work clothes and boots, dress up in them and deliver your apology written on a watering can or a bag of leaves you’ve already raked and sacked.
4. Atone with a night of romance. One of the birthdays you most don’t want to forget – and typically suffer the most consequences from – is that of your romantic partner or husband or wife. Not a good thing. Nor easy to remedy. However, a surprise candlelit dinner for two with roses and a thoughtfully written card, followed by a hot bubble bath, a long massage and whatever comes after, well, that probably has some mileage in helping to make up for forgetting your loved one’s birthday. And it likely won’t be a much of a burden for you to bear either!

Making Something Special

1. Create a happiness jar. When you feel badly enough about forgetting a person’s birthday that you want to make it up to them somehow, it signals that you have a special relationship of some kind. It indicates you truly care. Making that person a happiness jar can show this. All it takes is a Mason jar with a lid, paper and a pen. Of course you can get more creative, but what matters most is what you write. On each piece of paper that you put in the jar, write down a memory you have of the person – something you experienced together, something you remember the other person saying or doing one day, the way he or she looked on a special occasion, how you feel about the person now and at different times since you’ve known one another.
   • Include one larger piece of paper or a small card saying you’re sorry for missing his or her birthday.
   • If there’s room left, throw in their favorite candies, tokens to the arcade if you do that together, small items the person might collect and so forth.
   • Decorate the jar if you’d like. Tie a ribbon around it, paint on it, hodge podge a photo of the two of you on one side.
2. Bake a cake from far away. Sometimes the person doesn’t live nearby, and while you can call, email, send a card or a traditional present, maybe you’re also looking for something with a bit more punch behind your apology. Here’s one idea. Videotape yourself as you make the person his or her favorite kind of birthday cake. You could make it humorous or you could pretend as if you’re the star of a cooking show, which the other person might also find quite funny. You could even light the candles, sing him or her “Happy Birthday” and then express your apologies.
   • Burn your video to a disc, write out the cake recipe and wrap it like a birthday present before you send it in the mail.
   • If you think the cake will survey the journey, send it, too, or perhaps just a slice.
3. Download their favorite tunes. If you’ve never looked online before, USB flash drives now come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. There are even action hero USB flash drives. You can also have them customized from a variety of online sites, which is exactly what you want to do. Since they’re small and you won’t have much space to convey your message, keep it simple, or consider using a symbol or photo. Then fill it with the other person’s favorite music (music that you own, of course).
   • Add photos of you together. Create a special playlist.
   • Before you give it to the other person, go online and print a piece of blank sheet music. Write your apology and birthday wishes on it when you present the USB drive.
4. Post Post-It notes. If you have access to the person’s home, buy a package of multi-colored Post-It notes and write a variety of messages on them, tailored to the person and your relationship – memories, quotes, feelings, jokes. Tape small photos or other mementos, such as a ticket from a concert you went to together, to some of them. While he or she is not home, stick them in both obvious and more hidden places throughout the house so they’re found not only when the person comes home and sees them everywhere, but also over time.
   • Then tape several together to create a card expressing your apology that you can either leave after you’ve gone Post-It note crazy or that you can be waiting to hand deliver.

Spending Quality Time Together

1. Plan a day of awesomeness. Very few things show you care more than wanting to spend time with another person. Knowing them well enough to plan a day of awesomeness only amplifies that. Here’s how it works. Think about all the things they love to do in your city or area – favorite places to eat, favorite activities, favorite places to go – and then plan a day touching on all those things. It could even be a surprise day of awesomeness.
   • Arrange it so you pick the person up in the morning. When you arrive, present the day’s itinerary – taped to the menu from the restaurant where the day begins with the person’s favorite eggs Benedict.
2. Enjoy a picnic. Food and sunshine, maybe a lake, river or ocean. Perhaps even a grill. Who doesn’t love a nice picnic? You can go with just the other person or invite others along. All it requires is picking a time, a location and packing food, drinks, a blanket and whatever you might want to play with or ride while you’re there. You don’t even need a car. When you invite the person to the picnic, pack a sack lunch in a brown paper bag and write your apology in Sharpie on the bag. Place the bag on a Frisbee, tie a ribbon around both and pass it to your loved one with a smile.
3. Pack up and hit the road. This might require a little more planning, and more money depending upon where you go, but taking a trip – getting away and spending time one-on-one – may be just the apology needed in some cases. Or, it could just be an immensely fun time with someone you care for and whom you want to make sure knows it. It might be a one-night stay in a quirky town two hours away, a weekend in NYC or a week long trip to Australia. Budgets and schedules vary, but one thing is constant – the importance of making time for and spending time with people who matter most.
   • What better way, then, to invite them on the trip than to give them a bell alarm clock with your apologies written on the back?
   • If you’re splurging, buy a watch and have it engraved!
4. Design a scavenger hunt. Decide upon where you want the scavenger hunt to end, which will be at a place where the two of you will do something together that the other person really enjoys. It might be at a bowling alley, movie theater, restaurant or even a river where you can canoe. Then start creating clues that are relevant or significant to the other person or to you and the other person. For example, they might be inside jokes, memories, things you’ve discussed doing, etc. Write or print them on whatever type of paper or material will be appropriate for their locations. The first, for example, might be on a piece of scratch paper taped to the bathroom mirror while the third might need to be laminated (or even put in a jar) because it’s buried by the tree you used to climb as kids.
   • Don’t tell the other person the scavenger hunt is your apology!
   • Go to your ending point before the scavenger hunt begins and drop off a bunch of balloons that say “I’m sorry.” Include a gift, if you want, and express your apologies before spending the day having fun together.
   • If this isn’t possible, get just one balloon, stuff it in your pocket, blow it up when you arrive and give it to the other person, along with your apology.

Tips

• Although Facebook reminds you of your “friends” birthdays, you have to log in regularly to get those reminders. Luckily, there are a variety of apps out there that can help you remember. Search for “birthday reminder” or “daily reminder.”
• Many cellphones also have internal calendars that allow you to set alerts and reminders. You just need to remember to set up the alert.
• There’s also a kiosk in nearly every mall with wall calendars featuring every animal, landscape, flower, city and cartoon character imaginable. All you need is a pen.

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