Get a Girl's Attention if You Are a Girl
Are you a Girl who has a real crush on another girl, but can't seem to get her to notice that you're interested? Don't worry, loads of girls have this problem. Sometimes you're uncomfortable with identifying yourself as gay, or don't want everyone to know just yet. Here's a few ways to show that you're interested.
Steps
- Get comfortable around her. This is a crucial step in the process to being noticed. Make sure you aren't too shy or jumpy around her. This can be a major issue for some people who stutter or get nervous easily, but take your time. There's nothing to worry about.
- Get to know her. This is a very important part of the relationship, but DON'T hurry or overdo this. Girls who have just been friends up to this point will not commonly think of another girl as a potential date. So start some small talk and give her some hints and some things to think about. Talk about school or business/work. Strike up a conversation, or work in a group, or on a project with her. She will look at you in different ways as she gets to know you better.
- Hint. There are a few different types of hints you can drop. These are a more subtle start, with you showing interest in her first. Also not to be overdone. See the sections on verbal and non-verbal hints.
- Ask Her. Come right out and ask if she's ever considered herself bisexual or been interested in a bisexual experience.
- Cope with non-interest. There will be letdowns in your life, don't let one disappointment interfere with the rest of your life. If you've tried everything with no results, it's simply time for you to move on to the next experience with the next person. No hard feelings - not every pair is a match.
Verbal Hints
- The Poke. Tell a slightly inappropriate joke about gays or lesbians and watch for a reaction (don't get too nasty, you're just trying to gauge the response). What you're trying to do is determine if she's bigoted or has a negative feeling about gays in general, or if she seems to be okay with everything. Be sure the joke is funny so you both can laugh over it if there's just a neutral response from her.
- The Friend. Approach her often, spur conversations in that direction (girls with girls) and let her know, "That sounds like fun." Or, the ever-popular, "I've never tried it but it doesn't sound bad".
- The Jump. Ask or tell about your current girlfriends. This requires you to come out and identify yourself as bisexual or lesbian.
- The Oops. Ask her if she has a girlfriend or if she's ever had one. If she corrects you ("You mean "boyfriend?"), then say "Oops - what did I say? Silly me." and smile.
Non-Verbal
- The Wink. If she ever glances at you, give her a wink.
- The Suggestive Smile. If she tells a joke or asks you a touchy question, give a suggestive, maybe even a little mischievous smile. This one can be VERY effective.
- The Hug. If you have the opportunity and it feels natural and not weird or forced, give her a hug. Make sure you hold it just a little longer than usual - don't wait till she's trying to peel you off her.
- The Brush. If she puts her hand on the table or desk, and you're nearby, reach for the nearest object to her hand and intentionally brush your hand up against her hand, and hover for a second before blushing and grabbing the object. Watch her reaction carefully.
Tips
- Be calm. A nice, soothing voice or interested demeanor goes a long way.
- If she seems freaked out by your flirting, don't push it. You don't want to ruin your friendship.
- Sometimes asking her out will work so much better than going through the whole "friends" process. Let's face it - sometimes it's hard to get a friend to see you as a potential date. So if you have an interest in a girl, it can really speed things along if you just ask her at the beginning: "Would you want to go get some coffee, or maybe catch a movie with me? I'd love to spend some time with you."
- Don't wait too long to make your move. There's no chance unless you take one.
- Be productive while flirting, and don't fall behind in your school or work.
- The whole "beating around the bush" method of talking to her isn't always effective. Instead of telling a suggestive joke and watching her for a reaction, just come out and ask her how she feels about the LGBT community. Instead of covering up, tell her you want to know if she's had girlfriends before. Dropping hints rarely leads to a clear answer, and it can be very frustrating for both people involved.
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