Accept That You Don't Make Friends Easily
Acceptance is a very powerful tool to coping with a situation that isn't the best in life and it can lead to improving your life and your perception of situations.
Steps
- Be aware that it's not given for all everyone to have the ability to make friends easily. While we are always told about how we are social creatures, it is in reality the case that some people are born with that ability but just as many are born who find making friends challenging, nerve-racking and even tiring. Once you accept the widespread nature of your challenge, you're on the road to dealing with it.
- Take a look around you at friendships you know. Are all of them ideal friendships? The bet is that not all friendships are what they seem to be, and some are obviously not as great as they could be. There are friendships of convenience, friendships in the hope that someone else's popularity will rub off, friendships that are plainly abusive in some way or another. One common thread with imperfect friendships is where a person doesn't know their own wants and needs in life and lets someone else decide these for them, and ultimately pushes them around. This is not a healthy way to be a friend. This means that it is very important that you respect yourself prior to seeking to befriend others, so that those friends you do make will be friends who stand by the person you are for real.
- Choose your friends wisely and choose quality over quantity. Here is where you have advantages over people who find it really easy to make friendships. Since it is much harder for you to make friends, it will take you longer and you are likely to be more discerning about who does become your friend. It is far more important to have one solid friend in whom you have complete trust, than to have a multitude of shallow, uncertain friendships. Treasure the close friends, the few friends who are a part of your life.
- Relax. There is never a reason to beat yourself up over not having friends. Worrying about it won't change it but thinking positively will enable you to put out positive thoughts and attract people with your good energy. People are attracted to positivity.
- Rely on the people who are already around you. Such people as parents, teachers, mentors, role models, siblings, etc., can provide your with support, inspiration, and coaching as you build up your confidence, talents, and strengths in life. Friendships often develop when you least expect it but mostly arise because you are certain in yourself and have a good support network at home and in school/college or work life.
- Be involved. Even if you're shy about starting friendships, someone will often find you when you're doing something you're passionate about. Be it a hobby, a job, an activity, a competition, etc., when you are excelling at what you're good at, that is when you will likely attract someone who would like to be your friend. The wonderful thing about this is that the potential friend will do a lot of the work for you! All you need to do is to enjoy the fact that you're just about to make a new friend.
- Reach acceptance. Once you understand the realities behind making and keeping friends, you will find it easier to reach an acceptance that you are not alone but that you are valued and that you are friend-worthy. Sometimes patience is the most important aspect, and many times it is the sheer acceptance that quality of friendship matters most over getting the numbers. Be self-assured, calm, and internally happy and your inner glow will allow others to trust you and seek your friendship in time.
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