Difference between revisions of "Wait Patiently"
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===Helping the Time Pass=== | ===Helping the Time Pass=== | ||
| − | #Occupy your time. One of the best ways to avoid become anxious during a long wait, is to do something else at the same time to occupy you. One of the most frustrating aspects of waiting can be the sense that you are losing valuable time, so you can tackle this by filling this time with another activity to help the time pass more quickly.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/04/27/8-reasons-why-waiting-in-line-drives-us-crazy/</ref> This won’t always be practical, depending on the situation, but here are some examples to keep in mind: | + | #Occupy your time. One of the best ways to avoid become anxious during a long wait, is to do something else at the same time to occupy you. One of the most frustrating aspects of waiting can be the sense that you are losing valuable time, so you can tackle this by filling this time with another activity to help the time pass more quickly.<ref name="rf1">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/04/27/8-reasons-why-waiting-in-line-drives-us-crazy/</ref> This won’t always be practical, depending on the situation, but here are some examples to keep in mind: |
#*If you are being kept on-hold on the phone, use the time to answer some emails. | #*If you are being kept on-hold on the phone, use the time to answer some emails. | ||
#*If you are waiting for an appointment, read a book or newspaper, or play a game on your phone. | #*If you are waiting for an appointment, read a book or newspaper, or play a game on your phone. | ||
| − | #*If you are stuck in traffic, don’t sit there and stew, put on some music or a language tape and try to make the most of it.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/19/waiting-a-tough-skill-to-master/</ref> | + | #*If you are stuck in traffic, don’t sit there and stew, put on some music or a language tape and try to make the most of it.<ref name="rf2">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/19/waiting-a-tough-skill-to-master/</ref> |
| − | #Don’t try too hard. Finding ways to distract yourself is a tried and tested way of keeping impatience at bay and helping time pass. Research has suggested, however, that this technique can backfire if you are trying very hard to consciously distract yourself from the wait. Trying to force yourself not to feel anxious can prompt even greater anxiety.<ref>http://time.com/3619146/wait-more-patiently/</ref> | + | #Don’t try too hard. Finding ways to distract yourself is a tried and tested way of keeping impatience at bay and helping time pass. Research has suggested, however, that this technique can backfire if you are trying very hard to consciously distract yourself from the wait. Trying to force yourself not to feel anxious can prompt even greater anxiety.<ref name="rf3">http://time.com/3619146/wait-more-patiently/</ref> |
#*Accept that you will have to wait and there is nothing you can do about it. | #*Accept that you will have to wait and there is nothing you can do about it. | ||
#*Take a minute to relax before you find something that will occupy you for a while. | #*Take a minute to relax before you find something that will occupy you for a while. | ||
| − | #Wait with other people. There is evidence which suggests that waiting for something with other people can help the time pass quicker. For this to work, it’s important that the people are engaging with each other, talking about what they are waiting for and sharing their excitement in a positive way. For example, a group of fans waiting to get a newly released video game might have a fun time in the queue together.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/19/the-psychology-of-waiting-in-lines-8-reasons-that-the-wait-seems-long/</ref> | + | #Wait with other people. There is evidence which suggests that waiting for something with other people can help the time pass quicker. For this to work, it’s important that the people are engaging with each other, talking about what they are waiting for and sharing their excitement in a positive way. For example, a group of fans waiting to get a newly released video game might have a fun time in the queue together.<ref name="rf4">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/19/the-psychology-of-waiting-in-lines-8-reasons-that-the-wait-seems-long/</ref> |
#*Being stuck in a long silent queue will not work in the same way. | #*Being stuck in a long silent queue will not work in the same way. | ||
#*Equally, being stuck in a waiting room with people being angry and impatient will not make the time go faster. | #*Equally, being stuck in a waiting room with people being angry and impatient will not make the time go faster. | ||
#*Look for a more positive engagement with other people. | #*Look for a more positive engagement with other people. | ||
| − | #Break up a long wait. If you have a very long wait for something, it can help to break it up into smaller chunks. Identifying short term goals and focussing on achieving these rather than the final end goal can help you to avoid becoming impatient. Setting small goals that you can achieve can help you to feel like you are taking control of your life, while also distracting you from the long wait that you cannot do anything to shorten.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cravings/201411/have-patience?collection=164821</ref> | + | #Break up a long wait. If you have a very long wait for something, it can help to break it up into smaller chunks. Identifying short term goals and focussing on achieving these rather than the final end goal can help you to avoid becoming impatient. Setting small goals that you can achieve can help you to feel like you are taking control of your life, while also distracting you from the long wait that you cannot do anything to shorten.<ref name="rf5">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cravings/201411/have-patience?collection=164821</ref> |
#*For example, if you are growing impatient to find out whether or not you have been accepted to your first choice college you can give yourself small goals to reach each week in the meantime. | #*For example, if you are growing impatient to find out whether or not you have been accepted to your first choice college you can give yourself small goals to reach each week in the meantime. | ||
#*This could be anything from learning twenty new words in a foreign language, to mastering a new card trick. | #*This could be anything from learning twenty new words in a foreign language, to mastering a new card trick. | ||
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#*It is, however, your response to this situation which determines whether you wait patiently or impatiently. | #*It is, however, your response to this situation which determines whether you wait patiently or impatiently. | ||
#*People often get impatient when they perceive the environment as not conforming to their expectations. | #*People often get impatient when they perceive the environment as not conforming to their expectations. | ||
| − | #*Recognising that expectations are only expectations and are often not totally realistic can help you to identify impatience.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201305/impatient-why-and-how-practice-patience</ref> | + | #*Recognising that expectations are only expectations and are often not totally realistic can help you to identify impatience.<ref name="rf6">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201305/impatient-why-and-how-practice-patience</ref> |
#Accept inevitable waits. Waiting can be frustrating because you feel you have lost control over something. The fact is that you cannot control your environment and there will inevitably be times when you have to wait for extended periods. Accepting this can help you to feel more free and calm. | #Accept inevitable waits. Waiting can be frustrating because you feel you have lost control over something. The fact is that you cannot control your environment and there will inevitably be times when you have to wait for extended periods. Accepting this can help you to feel more free and calm. | ||
| − | #*Acknowledging that you cannot clear an accident that has caused a traffic jam is much better than getting annoyed and frustrated about something you have no influence on.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/03/24/5-tips-for-being-more-patient-in-all-areas-of-your-life/</ref> | + | #*Acknowledging that you cannot clear an accident that has caused a traffic jam is much better than getting annoyed and frustrated about something you have no influence on.<ref name="rf7">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/03/24/5-tips-for-being-more-patient-in-all-areas-of-your-life/</ref> |
#Think positively. Often anxiety about waiting is connected to the feeling that the wait will be followed by bad news or a negative outcome, which can make it harder to wait patiently. Research suggests that those people who have a more positive outlook, and are generally more optimistic about the outcome of what they are waiting for, will find waiting patiently easier. | #Think positively. Often anxiety about waiting is connected to the feeling that the wait will be followed by bad news or a negative outcome, which can make it harder to wait patiently. Research suggests that those people who have a more positive outlook, and are generally more optimistic about the outcome of what they are waiting for, will find waiting patiently easier. | ||
#*Try to foster a more optimistic outlook, and learn to feel more comfortable with uncertainty. | #*Try to foster a more optimistic outlook, and learn to feel more comfortable with uncertainty. | ||
#*If you are anticipating bad news, try to find a positive in it in advance. This could be preparing for failure and thinking of an alternative way forward. | #*If you are anticipating bad news, try to find a positive in it in advance. This could be preparing for failure and thinking of an alternative way forward. | ||
| − | #*For example, if you are waiting for an exam result, thinking positively about what you could do if you don’t get the grades can help you wait more patiently.<ref | + | #*For example, if you are waiting for an exam result, thinking positively about what you could do if you don’t get the grades can help you wait more patiently.<ref name="rf3" /> |
#Try some deep breathing. If you’re stuck with a long wait, and have accepted that there is nothing you can really do about it, practicing some relaxation techniques might help you to avoid becoming stressed and impatient. A simple relaxation technique that you can do anywhere and at any time is deep breathing. | #Try some deep breathing. If you’re stuck with a long wait, and have accepted that there is nothing you can really do about it, practicing some relaxation techniques might help you to avoid becoming stressed and impatient. A simple relaxation technique that you can do anywhere and at any time is deep breathing. | ||
#*Take deep deliberate breaths, inhaling for three or four seconds. | #*Take deep deliberate breaths, inhaling for three or four seconds. | ||
#*Fill your lungs and hold the air in for a few seconds before slowly breathing out for another three or four seconds. | #*Fill your lungs and hold the air in for a few seconds before slowly breathing out for another three or four seconds. | ||
| − | #*You could also combine your deep breathing with a mantra, such as “I am breathing out stress, and breathing in relaxation.”<ref | + | #*You could also combine your deep breathing with a mantra, such as “I am breathing out stress, and breathing in relaxation.”<ref name="rf7" /> |
#Think of patience as compassion. Becoming impatient about something in your life is entirely normal and happens to all of us all. You will feel the stress of impatience in both your mind and body. Try to recognise that if you become particularly anxious and upset when you are waiting for something, this impatience is a stress response to the situation. Learning to be more patience is a way of being more compassionate to yourself. | #Think of patience as compassion. Becoming impatient about something in your life is entirely normal and happens to all of us all. You will feel the stress of impatience in both your mind and body. Try to recognise that if you become particularly anxious and upset when you are waiting for something, this impatience is a stress response to the situation. Learning to be more patience is a way of being more compassionate to yourself. | ||
#*By being patient and limiting the stress response you are actively taking care of yourself. | #*By being patient and limiting the stress response you are actively taking care of yourself. | ||
| − | #*You will suffer when impatient, so learning to be more relaxed will help you feel better about yourself and the situation.<ref | + | #*You will suffer when impatient, so learning to be more relaxed will help you feel better about yourself and the situation.<ref name="rf6" /> |
| − | #*Learning to be patient will also help you feel more compassion towards others who get frustrated when things don’t conform to their expectations.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/11/24/patience-required/</ref> | + | #*Learning to be patient will also help you feel more compassion towards others who get frustrated when things don’t conform to their expectations.<ref name="rf8">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/11/24/patience-required/</ref> |
===Acknowledging What Makes You Impatient=== | ===Acknowledging What Makes You Impatient=== | ||
#Recognise that uncertain waits make you more impatient. To really learn to wait patiently and avoid becoming anxious when you are waiting for something, it’s helpful to think about the different waiting times we experience. It is generally thought that an uncertain wait prompts more anxiety than one you have a clearer timetable for. | #Recognise that uncertain waits make you more impatient. To really learn to wait patiently and avoid becoming anxious when you are waiting for something, it’s helpful to think about the different waiting times we experience. It is generally thought that an uncertain wait prompts more anxiety than one you have a clearer timetable for. | ||
#*Uncertain waits can feel longer than if you know how long you will have to wait for. | #*Uncertain waits can feel longer than if you know how long you will have to wait for. | ||
| − | #*For example, if you are told you will be seen in 30 minutes, it can be easier than if you are just told you will be seen soon.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/12/21/8-reasons-why-waiting-in-line-is-a-drag/</ref> | + | #*For example, if you are told you will be seen in 30 minutes, it can be easier than if you are just told you will be seen soon.<ref name="rf9">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/12/21/8-reasons-why-waiting-in-line-is-a-drag/</ref> |
#*If you're facing an uncertain wait, try to find out a clearer timetable so you have a better idea of how long you'll have to wait. | #*If you're facing an uncertain wait, try to find out a clearer timetable so you have a better idea of how long you'll have to wait. | ||
#*If you can't get any extra information, try to relax or occupy yourself and accept that there is nothing to do but wait. | #*If you can't get any extra information, try to relax or occupy yourself and accept that there is nothing to do but wait. | ||
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#*If you find yourself in a similar situation, recognise it and try to relax and shrug it off. | #*If you find yourself in a similar situation, recognise it and try to relax and shrug it off. | ||
#*Consider finding out the reason for the wait, perhaps somebody is unexpectedly off sick, or has been held up in traffic. | #*Consider finding out the reason for the wait, perhaps somebody is unexpectedly off sick, or has been held up in traffic. | ||
| − | #*This may help you to understand that there is nothing you can do to change it and then wait more patiently.<ref | + | #*This may help you to understand that there is nothing you can do to change it and then wait more patiently.<ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #Realise that getting anxious will only make things worse. Everyone gets impatient, but it’s important to understand that getting frustrated and restless will only increase your impatience. Try to relax as much as possible and take things in your stride. If you are queuing at the supermarket and you are anxious because your line is moving slowly as all the others go quickly, your wait will likely seem longer than it actually is.<ref | + | #Realise that getting anxious will only make things worse. Everyone gets impatient, but it’s important to understand that getting frustrated and restless will only increase your impatience. Try to relax as much as possible and take things in your stride. If you are queuing at the supermarket and you are anxious because your line is moving slowly as all the others go quickly, your wait will likely seem longer than it actually is.<ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #*Treating these situations more lightly, and trying to maintain a good sense of humour about all the waiting around you have to do, can help you wait more patiently and happily.<ref | + | #*Treating these situations more lightly, and trying to maintain a good sense of humour about all the waiting around you have to do, can help you wait more patiently and happily.<ref name="rf6" /> |
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