Socialize Smoothly

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Ever had that nervous jittery feeling when talking to a person at a casual gathering or event? The high pumped energy just drains you? Here are some step by step tips guiding you on how to socialize comfortably making you gain friends and skills.

Steps

  1. Have good appearance. Appearance really is a basis step that is mandatory. Looking presentable will attract more people to you and also give you a booster of confidence. When you know you look good, it reflects onto other people. If you are on a budget, there are plenty of places that sell clothes or accessories that fit into a budget. Try stores like K-Mart, Target, and Walmart. The deals are Deal With a Cheapskate Normally look in the clearance of these stores which normally offer things that were overstocked or from last season.
  2. Relax. Before stepping into a gathering or an event, you need to take a deep breath and remember that they are not going to make you jump off a bridge. This is where appearance comes in. If you express, for example, that you like your shirt, others will tend to like it also. When you feel good and like what you are wearing, it will display well.
  3. Strike up conversation. Starting a conversation is normally not very comfortable. This is when ice breakers come in handy. For example you see a girl with a brooch on and you really notice this piece. A good icebreaker would be to go up and say, "Hey... that's a beautiful brooch! I noticed it when I first walked in and have been meaning to compliment on it." Something along the lines of this benefits in two factors: One being that it's flattery and also is opening a doorway to conversation. In everyday life we have conversations that first start with something and then end in a totally different thing. So, you could be talking about her brooch, ask her where she got it, if it's a store you recognize talk about it, ask if she collects brooches, etc. These are called loop holes of a conversation.
  4. Loop holes of a conversation - Loop holes of a conversation are finding your ins and outs of conversing. Normally commenting on an accessory or personally wearing an accessory (for instance a cowboy hat) that stands out gives you the opportunity of striking up a conversation. If you are personally trying to start a conversation here are some ideas or "ice breakers" you can use:
    • Complimenting on a specific accessory
    • Complimenting the food at the party
    • Asking where he/she knows the hostess
    • Ask (fake) directions to where the cocktails are if the person you are trying to start a conversation with has one
  5. Now some loop holes of, asking for "fake" directions to where the cocktails are if the person you are trying to start a conversation with has one: Leads you to saying how good the cocktails looked, asking if they ever had a cocktail from a specific place, etc. Simple questions like that lead to loop holes.
  6. Develop a friendly tone of voice. Tone of voice is important when trying to socialize comfortably. You don't want to sound nervous or too energized where people get the impression of anxiety from you. Being calm and relaxed attracts more people to you.

Tips

  • Don't worry if someone shuts you out. Not everyone is nice.
  • Let them talk about themselves. People always love talking about themselves.
  • Remember A.R.T- Appearance, Relaxation, Tone.
  • Bring a friend! Friends help things transition things a little more easier and also boosts your confidence a bit more.
  • Pick a person out you think you would be most confident to start a conversation with. This will make it a bit easier on you if you don't feel so intimidated.
  • Be careful not to be awkward in conversation by first talking about a brooch and then where they like to travel. You need to slowly transition from one subject to another.
  • If it's someone you're meeting for the first time, be sure to first ask their name, then slowly move on to asking questions and getting to know the person better!

Warnings

  • Try not to rub off as creepy or a stalker type
  • There is no secure chance of either being accepted or rejected.

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