Forget Your Love

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Everyone knows a broken heart is hard to heal, and your love is hard to forget, but one way or another you'll have to eventually. Moving on successfully is a combination of giving yourself time to get over the breakup, as well as focusing on actively pursuing things you care about, both now, and into the future.

Steps

Refreshing your life

  1. Do things that help you make a break with the past. Change things that make you feel good about yourself and do things that get you out of the house and help you break free of wanting to wallow. By all means have some cries, some deep contemplation and some rants, but try not to let these negative feelings dominate for too long. Let it out, then give yourself a chance to bounce back.
    • Don't mope about - staying stuck in reliving what happened will make you feel worse. Avoid wallowing in self-pity: Breaking up is tough even if it's you has left the other person. What's important is that you realize that life must go on.
  2. Consider getting a new look. Get a new hairstyle, maybe even dye your hair. Or, go on a shopping spree with your friends and deck yourself out with a whole new wardrobe. Stick to thrift stores if you can't afford the mall or high street fashions; they're a great place to find a new and unique style to claim as your own.
  3. Go out with your friends. Nothing clears the mind like time with good friends and it's possible you haven't seen them as much as you've have liked to lately. Let them know you're ready to spend time with them and start rediscovering the fun times you always had together.
    • Or, make new friends. A good way to meet like minded people is to join a club related to your interests.
  4. Realize that while it's tempting to imagine that your lost relationship was your one and only love, this is your sorrow talking. In reality, there are millions of other people around! Get out there and look for potential partners. Find someone you really connect with.
    • Of course, it's also good to give yourself space between relationships, especially if you feel messed about and in need of working things out for yourself. Give yourself that space before launching into another relationship; this is even more important when you feel you can't cope without having a partner in your life, as that's a warning sign to spend more time looking into your fears rather than running from them.

Reorienting your outlook

  1. Reflect on what happened in as objective way as possible. From that, consider what mistakes you made that you don't wish to repeat next time. What are the things that tripped up the relationship? Maybe it was not listening to your inner warning voice, maybe it was trying to make an incompatibility work, maybe it was clinging too long to something that both of you knew was doomed. Whatever the reasons behind the breakup, try to work out how you can change your approach in the future, to avoid walking into the same mistakes.
    • Some people find therapy very helpful for overcoming a tendency to repeat certain patterns of behavior in relationships. However, you can also do this by writing down your feelings, your worries and your preferences and sorting out what sorts of things lead you to make bad decisions. Then consider how to make better ones!
  2. Make a list of things you always wanted to do and never did. You've probably wanted to do a lot but never got around to it because the relationship was taking up so much of your time. Once you are done with the list, you will see how much life has to offer you.
  3. Start something new. Even if it doesn't take off, you would at least be happier with the experience. Consider what hobbies, what pursuits, what skills you'd like to polish up and get stuck into.
  4. Above all, be happy. Don't become all depressed and gloomy because of one person, go out lots with friends and soon enough, they'll just be a distant fragment of your memory. Remember, throughout life you'll have your heart broken more than once, so just deal with it in a mature way - don't take it to heart!

Tips

  • Don't jump straight into another relationship, it's not right and certainly will not give you a good name.
  • If you do become genuinely upset (please, for everyone's sake, don't fake it), go to friends for support! Don't block yourself out from everyone else, being emotionally distant is no good when looking for someone else either!
  • Note down memorable events about your relationship on a piece of paper and throw it on the trash bin. It usually boosts your happiness and makes you forget the tragedy!

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