Difference between revisions of "Treat a Girl the Way She Should Be Treated"
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===Building Trust and Openness=== | ===Building Trust and Openness=== | ||
#Communicate openly about issues and ideas. All good relationships are built on communication, openness, and honesty. Hiding your dreams and passions from her is only going to create a divide between you, making it harder to connect as you drift apart. Bridge this gap by talking openly and often. Share your hopes, fears, and wacky ideas, and she'll feel free to share hers. | #Communicate openly about issues and ideas. All good relationships are built on communication, openness, and honesty. Hiding your dreams and passions from her is only going to create a divide between you, making it harder to connect as you drift apart. Bridge this gap by talking openly and often. Share your hopes, fears, and wacky ideas, and she'll feel free to share hers. | ||
| − | #*This includes ideas that are difficult to talk about. You may think you should "protect her," but she is a smart, capable person just like you. She'll feel more touched that you trusted her than hurt by what you have to say.<ref>http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Relationships_and_communication?open</ref> | + | #*This includes ideas that are difficult to talk about. You may think you should "protect her," but she is a smart, capable person just like you. She'll feel more touched that you trusted her than hurt by what you have to say.<ref name="rf1">http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Relationships_and_communication?open</ref> |
#Make eye contact. Eye contact breeds trust, closeness, and love. It shows that you're talking honestly and respectfully, whereas looking away may make you seem untrustworthy. Just as importantly, keep you eyes up and away from her body. You don't want a girl to think you only like her for her body. | #Make eye contact. Eye contact breeds trust, closeness, and love. It shows that you're talking honestly and respectfully, whereas looking away may make you seem untrustworthy. Just as importantly, keep you eyes up and away from her body. You don't want a girl to think you only like her for her body. | ||
| − | #*If you have trouble making eye-contact, look between her eyes or at her earlobe. If you're a few feet away, most people won't notice that you're not looking at their eyes.< | + | #*If you have trouble making eye-contact, look between her eyes or at her earlobe. If you're a few feet away, most people won't notice that you're not looking at their eyes.<ref>http://hellobeautiful.com/2011/08/04/5-reasons-why-eye-contact-is-important/</ref> |
| − | #Make listening a priority. 50% of conversation is listening, but people often forget how important it is to shut up from time to time. Ask her questions and listen thoughtfully, nodding along and asking relevant questions when possible. If you've been talking for 2-3 minutes straight, it is time to slow down and ask her a question.<ref>http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/Quotes/ShowQuote?msgid=48448#.VgWOU5c4nEY</ref> | + | #Make listening a priority. 50% of conversation is listening, but people often forget how important it is to shut up from time to time. Ask her questions and listen thoughtfully, nodding along and asking relevant questions when possible. If you've been talking for 2-3 minutes straight, it is time to slow down and ask her a question.<ref name="rf2">http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/Quotes/ShowQuote?msgid=48448#.VgWOU5c4nEY</ref> |
#*Make eye-contact as you listen. | #*Make eye-contact as you listen. | ||
#*Ask her simple questions like, "how was your day?" and "what do you think of that?" | #*Ask her simple questions like, "how was your day?" and "what do you think of that?" | ||
#Give compliments, as long as they are genuine. If you really like this girl, try unique compliments, such as "I love your laugh, it brightens up the whole room," instead of "you have beautiful eyes". Avoid cheesy pick-up lines that she's probably heard before. A compliment only means something if you really mean the compliment. | #Give compliments, as long as they are genuine. If you really like this girl, try unique compliments, such as "I love your laugh, it brightens up the whole room," instead of "you have beautiful eyes". Avoid cheesy pick-up lines that she's probably heard before. A compliment only means something if you really mean the compliment. | ||
| − | #*The more genuine and specific your compliment, the better it will be. Think about what you really love about her and let her know. Don't just spit the lines you've heard in movies.<ref>http://www.lovepanky.com/men/attracting-and-dating-women/how-to-be-a-good-boyfriend</ | + | #*The more genuine and specific your compliment, the better it will be. Think about what you really love about her and let her know. Don't just spit the lines you've heard in movies.<ref>http://www.lovepanky.com/men/attracting-and-dating-women/how-to-be-a-good-boyfriend</ref> |
#Be there for her when she's upset. Sometimes she doesn't expect you to offer a solution, but instead wants you to listen to her vent. Treat her with care and compassion when she shares her feelings with you. If she needs time and space, give it to her. | #Be there for her when she's upset. Sometimes she doesn't expect you to offer a solution, but instead wants you to listen to her vent. Treat her with care and compassion when she shares her feelings with you. If she needs time and space, give it to her. | ||
#*Being supportive is about being there when she needs you. Even if something seems small to you, you need to show her that you care when she's upset. | #*Being supportive is about being there when she needs you. Even if something seems small to you, you need to show her that you care when she's upset. | ||
| − | #*If she seems upset, but won't talk, don't push her. Just listen. Ask her if there "is anything on your mind?" or simply "how is everything going." Asking her "if something is wrong" implies that there is something bad happening, which can cause her to close up.<ref | + | #*If she seems upset, but won't talk, don't push her. Just listen. Ask her if there "is anything on your mind?" or simply "how is everything going." Asking her "if something is wrong" implies that there is something bad happening, which can cause her to close up.<ref name="rf2" /> |
===Making Her Feel Special=== | ===Making Her Feel Special=== | ||
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#*Check your local paper for events, from street festivals to outdoor music and theater. | #*Check your local paper for events, from street festivals to outdoor music and theater. | ||
#Remember and celebrate the special days, like birthdays and anniversaries. Take initiative on the big days and plan a surprise, even if it is something small like flowers or breakfast in bed. Having the foresight to celebrate these little milestones will make her feel special and show her that you value the relationship as much as she. | #Remember and celebrate the special days, like birthdays and anniversaries. Take initiative on the big days and plan a surprise, even if it is something small like flowers or breakfast in bed. Having the foresight to celebrate these little milestones will make her feel special and show her that you value the relationship as much as she. | ||
| − | #*Occasionally, have a little fun by celebrating a goofy holiday or anniversary, like the first time you cooked together or National Talk Like a Pirate Day.<ref | + | #*Occasionally, have a little fun by celebrating a goofy holiday or anniversary, like the first time you cooked together or National Talk Like a Pirate Day.<ref name="rf2" /> |
===Being a Gentleman=== | ===Being a Gentleman=== | ||
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#*Let her go first through doors, down the street, and into the car. | #*Let her go first through doors, down the street, and into the car. | ||
#*Offer her your seat, especially when they are limited (like on the bus). | #*Offer her your seat, especially when they are limited (like on the bus). | ||
| − | #*Avoid showing off or talking about yourself.<ref>http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/43639-26-ways-a-christian-man-should-treat-a-woman?showall=&limitstart=</ref> | + | #*Avoid showing off or talking about yourself.<ref name="rf3">http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/43639-26-ways-a-christian-man-should-treat-a-woman?showall=&limitstart=</ref> |
#Don't talk about a girl's body parts with her or your friends. Don't talk about other girls' booties or how big their boobs are. It shows you are disrespectful and may only see women sexually. This includes talking about your own girl's assets. While some girls don't mind the occasional compliment about it, over-emphasizing their physical attributes makes you seem uncreative and single-minded. | #Don't talk about a girl's body parts with her or your friends. Don't talk about other girls' booties or how big their boobs are. It shows you are disrespectful and may only see women sexually. This includes talking about your own girl's assets. While some girls don't mind the occasional compliment about it, over-emphasizing their physical attributes makes you seem uncreative and single-minded. | ||
#*Try not to use words like "hot" or "sexy." Instead, try "gorgeous" or "beautiful," which are a little gentler and apply to more than just her breasts and butt. | #*Try not to use words like "hot" or "sexy." Instead, try "gorgeous" or "beautiful," which are a little gentler and apply to more than just her breasts and butt. | ||
#Don't treat her like one of your guy friends. Be nice, kind, and generous. Avoid bodily noises. Don't be obnoxious, putting on your music, your movies, and your shows all the time. Show her that you have been raised well and been taught to treat women with respect, which is really attractive. | #Don't treat her like one of your guy friends. Be nice, kind, and generous. Avoid bodily noises. Don't be obnoxious, putting on your music, your movies, and your shows all the time. Show her that you have been raised well and been taught to treat women with respect, which is really attractive. | ||
| − | #*It is perfectly okay to have things you talk about with the boys but not your girl. You don't ever need to lie to her, you just don't have to bring up certain things. Some topics, like the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, are meant to stay between the guys.<ref>http://thoughtcatalog.com/jenessa-michele/2014/05/be-a-good-man-because-a-woman-will-never-forget-how-you-treated-her/</ref> | + | #*It is perfectly okay to have things you talk about with the boys but not your girl. You don't ever need to lie to her, you just don't have to bring up certain things. Some topics, like the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, are meant to stay between the guys.<ref name="rf4">http://thoughtcatalog.com/jenessa-michele/2014/05/be-a-good-man-because-a-woman-will-never-forget-how-you-treated-her/</ref> |
#Spend most of your time with her when in groups and parties. This doesn't mean you need to be joined at the hip. Spend time with your own friends as well, but check in with each other regularly to make sure she's not alone in the corner. | #Spend most of your time with her when in groups and parties. This doesn't mean you need to be joined at the hip. Spend time with your own friends as well, but check in with each other regularly to make sure she's not alone in the corner. | ||
#Never force a girl to do things with you. Show her you care by kissing her all over (forehead, hand, ear) and making her feel like she's special every day. However, you each need to respect each other's boundaries. If something makes her feel uncomfortable, you need to pull back. She has the right to determine what she wants to do, and trying to pressure her into something is rude, disrespectful, and wrong. | #Never force a girl to do things with you. Show her you care by kissing her all over (forehead, hand, ear) and making her feel like she's special every day. However, you each need to respect each other's boundaries. If something makes her feel uncomfortable, you need to pull back. She has the right to determine what she wants to do, and trying to pressure her into something is rude, disrespectful, and wrong. | ||
#*During a quiet, calm moment, ask her about her sexual preferences and desires casually. Don't have this conversation in the heat of the moment, but some other time, where the talk can be cool and casual. | #*During a quiet, calm moment, ask her about her sexual preferences and desires casually. Don't have this conversation in the heat of the moment, but some other time, where the talk can be cool and casual. | ||
#Be respectful to your girl when talking to friends. How you talk about your girl to your friends will tell them how it is okay to talk about her to you. If you are disrespectful, cracking jokes and sharing secrets, they will feel like they can do the same thing. Remember that the things you and your girlfriend do together are personal and should not be talked about with your pals. | #Be respectful to your girl when talking to friends. How you talk about your girl to your friends will tell them how it is okay to talk about her to you. If you are disrespectful, cracking jokes and sharing secrets, they will feel like they can do the same thing. Remember that the things you and your girlfriend do together are personal and should not be talked about with your pals. | ||
| − | #*Don't treat her any differently in public than you do in private. Living a dual life is not only hard, it's unsustainable. Treat her with the love and respect she deserves both at home and in the wider world.<ref | + | #*Don't treat her any differently in public than you do in private. Living a dual life is not only hard, it's unsustainable. Treat her with the love and respect she deserves both at home and in the wider world.<ref name="rf4" /> |
== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
