Get a Boyfriend in Middle School

Getting a boyfriend can be tricky, especially in middle school. Middle school is where many first relationships blossom, and you may feel at a loss when some of your friends start dating boys in their class. Now you've found someone you have a crush on, but you're not sure how to make your new cutie into your boyfriend. If you want to know how to get a boyfriend in middle school, just follow these easy tips.

Steps

Flirting with Him in School

1. Look Confident and Feel Confident. Before you can be ready to catch your guy's attention, you need to make sure that you feel great about yourself. This doesn't mean you should give yourself a complete makeover or change who you are. It just means you should pay more attention to your feelings first to be sure that you are ready to date. Here's what you should do:
   • If you've started wearing makeup, just some subtle eye shadow, mascara, and pink lip gloss will do the trick. Many girls in middle school don't wear makeup and if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it until you're ready. If you don't use makeup, great! There is no reason to be pressured into wearing it. You always need to be comfortable in your own skin before trying to impress others.
   • Wear nice clothes that compliment your figure. Wear clean, well-matching, and colorful clothes to catch his attention. For example, you could wear skinny jeans, a colorful tank top, a cardigan, and a pair of black boots. If you want to wear sweat pants though and be sporty that is fine as well. Some guys in middle school prefer the sporty girls over the ones with makeup caked on their face. Never change who you are for someone else.
   • Practice good hygiene. Try to shower every day and to wash your hair at least a few times a week. Keep fresh breath by sucking on a breath mint once in a while, especially after you eat your lunch. Remember that most schools prohibit gum, though if your school allows it, mint flavored gum is an excellent choice. Mint gum freshens your breath and excels the thought process.
   • Smell nice. Wearing slightly scented body lotion or a very light, girly perfume will do the trick. Don't go through your mom's perfume or you will end up smelling too much like an adult. And it won't hurt to put on a little bit of scented lotion or perfume after gym class.
2. Say hi to him in class. Once you have impressed yourself, you can begin to charm your guy. If you're lucky enough to share a class with your crush, then there are a few things you can do to make him notice you while not being too obvious about it. Here's where you can start:
   • Let him see that you're a fun person to be around. He should see you laughing and chatting with your friends before and after class so he knows people love laughing and hanging out with you. If he comes in while you're laughing with your friends, try to include him in conversation just by waving him over and saying hi. If the conversation leads somewhere great! Friendship acquired.
   • Show your smarts. He won't want to be your boyfriend if he doesn't think you're smart or won't have anything to talk about. Be a good student by doing your work and answering your teacher's questions correctly. Just don't answer every question or you will look like a know-it all. If you aren't all that smart though, you could ask him to tutor you after school or during lunch. It might lead to hanging out more or even a study date.
   • Make eye contact. Catch his eyes a few times in class. Don't be too obvious or he'll know you're staring at him. Just look at him, smile, and look away. And if you catch him staring at you, it may mean that he has a crush on you too. Don't automatically jump to conclusions though. If he catches you looking at him look away quickly and pretend you didn't see him catch you.
   • Chat with him before and after class. Joke around with him, or talk about your teacher or the homework. You can even use the homework as an excuse to start a conversation. If his science project is due the next week, you can ask him how it's going and if he's done yet. You can move on from the safe topic of class to other topics.
   • If you talk to him after your class, see if he keeps walking with you. Maybe he wants to start a habit of walking you to your next class, which is a sign that he may want to be more than friends.
   • Don't chat too much during class or be rude to your teacher. He won't want to be with you if he thinks you're obnoxious or have bad manners.
3. Flirt with him outside of class. If you want to flirt with your crush during school hours but don't have a class together, there are other ways to catch his eye during the day. Without stalking him, you can get a sense of his schedule and run into him once in a while. When you do see him, make your time together count. Here are some things to do:
   • Talk to him at his locker. Stop by casually to say hello and ask what class he has next. If he has cool posters in his locker, you can comment on them. If you have a friend who has a locker near his, you can talk to your friend and just smile at him or say hi.
   • Talk to him in the cafeteria. If you're in the lunch line together or if you pass his table, just wave, say hi, and ask how his day is going. Let him see you laughing and having a great time with your friends so he knows that you can have a good time with or without him.
   • Talk to him in the halls. If you pass him in the halls and end up walking together, make casual conversation about what he did in gym class, something funny your history teacher said, or about what you're doing that weekend. Be friendly, light, and fun.
   • If you catch him outside after school, you can ask who is picking him up, or what he's doing that afternoon. If it's a big TV night, you can ask him if he's going to watch your favorite show and strike up a conversation about that. Find subtle ways to let him know you share his interests.

Flirting with Him After School

1. Flirt with him at the mall. Sometimes, it can be hard to flirt during school because you're too busy or nervous, or because your schedules just don't match up. Luckily, there are plenty of chances for you to flirt with him after school, and the mall is a great place to start. If you meet up when you're both hanging out with your friends at the mall, you'll both be more relaxed and in a good mood if you're not worrying about taking your Spanish quiz or getting to your next class on time. Here's what you can do:
   • Strike up a casual conversation about what he's been up to. Ask if he went to any stores, and if he has a shopping bag, ask what he got.
   • Ask him if he's had anything to eat. The mall has endless food options for all tastes, and maybe you can get a snack together if you're both hungry. Or if he and his friends are going out to eat later, he can ask you to come along.
   • Talk about the movies you've seen or want to see. The movies are a common end-up at the mall, and if it sounds like you want to see the same movie, you could end up going together. Or if he says he really wants to see a movie that you're iffy about, just tell him you want to see it too in case he asks you. A little white lie will only help your chances of hanging out more.
2. Flirt with him at parties. Middle school parties are an incredibly fun place to let loose with your friends, be silly, dance around, play games, and eat pizza and cupcakes. But hanging out with people you're used to seeing mostly in school can seem intimidating, especially if you see your crush at a party and don't know how to react. Here's how to catch his interest at a party:
   • Let him see you talking to other guys. Without being obvious about it, show him that guys love talking to you, and that you're approachable. When you do talk to him, act more interested in him than you do with other guys so he knows you don't just flirt with everyone.
   • Find a way to casually touch him. If you're both laughing, touch his shoulder or knee, or if he teases you, you can push him flirtatiously.
   • Maintain eye contact when you talk to him. Don't be distracted by your friends or what else is going on.
   • Don't talk to him for too long. He should see that you have other interests, and that plenty of people want to talk to you. This will make you look more desirable.
   • Do not consume alcohol at a party. You are way too young to be drinking, and if you succumb to peer pressure, you will put yourself in a dangerous situation and will look weak.
3. Flirt with him at the school dance. Everyone spends months looking forward to the school dance. Even if guys complain about it, they always show up looking nice, so they obviously want to be there. But flirting with your guy at the dance can be scary, especially if you're worried that you don't know how to dance. Here's what to do:
   • Dance with a big group of your girlfriends. Have a loud and fun time and don't even look over at the boys. If he thinks you're a wallflower, he won't think you're any fun, so stay active and engaged. But don't spend too much time dancing with your friends or he'll be too scared to approach you in front of your friends.
   • Even if you can't dance, be confident. The secret is that most people in middle school have absolutely no idea how to dance, but if you smile, move to the music, and don't take yourself too seriously, people will want to dance with you.
   • Talk to your guy. You can tease him about not dancing, ask what kind of music he likes, and even wait for him to ask you to dance. If he asks you to slow dance, you can maintain light conversation instead of staring into his eyes, which may get too intense.
4. Flirt with him through technology. Texting and Facebook are incredibly common ways to communicate, so don't be afraid to talk to him that way when you get home from school. This will show him that you're interested and capable of keeping up a conversation.
   • If you chat with him on Facebook, show him that you're interesting. Without trying too hard, tell him about your interests or something cool you heard that day. If it works, you can even send him a link.
   • Talk about your common interests. Chatting online can be a great way to find out that you like the same band or both love Mexican food.
   • If you're texting, be fun and casual. Wish him luck at his baseball game or on his Algebra test. Make sure you're texting each other equally. If you're meeting up at the same place with friends, tell him you can't wait to hang out.

Letting Him Know How You Feel

1. Tell him yourself in person. Once you're sure about your feelings and feel confident about letting your guy know how you feel, it's time to take the situation into your own hands and tell him how you feel. Guys in middle school can be really shy, while girls tend to be more confident and assertive, so he may be asking you to make the first move. You may be nervous about revealing your true feelings, but you'll be able to impress him with your confidence and courage if you do it the right way. Here's what to do:
   • Tell him when you're alone. This is extremely important. In middle school, guys are often easily influenced by their male friends, and spend too much time caring about what their friends think. If you tell him while you're surrounded by a group of people, or even if his friends are just nearby, they will heckle you guys, make annoying noises, and will just generally discourage your guy from telling you how he feels.
   • Pick the right time to tell him. Not only should you pick a time when you aren't surrounded by his friends, but you should also pick a time when he's in a good mood or open to conversation. If you both got to school pretty early, tell him before so he can think about it in class. If you catch him at the end of the day while he's waiting for a ride, you can reveal your feelings then. Just make sure he isn't about to be picked up by his mom---that's just plain awkward.
   • Pick the right place to tell him. If you're too shy to tell him that you like him in school, tell him that you like him when you're hanging out with friends at the mall, or at a party. Just make sure to isolate him when you're giving him the news.
   • Keep things simple. Just say something like, "I have a big crush on you" or "I really like talking to you." You don't have to tell him you want him to be your boyfriend. If he likes you, he will figure it out.
2. Tell him yourself through technology. If you want to tell him that you like him yourself, but are too scared to do it in person, you can text him or message him online to let him know. This will take some of the pressure off both of you and will let you have a conversation without feeling too uncomfortable. Here's how you do it:
   • Send him a text message saying that you like him and want to hang out. Remember that you should already have his phone number and know him well enough to text him, or he will just feel awkward and like you're stalking him a little bit. If you do know him pretty well but don't have his number, you should say something like, "Hi, this is Sarah from school. I got your number from so-and-so..." so he knows how you got his digits.
   • When you're chatting with him on Facebook, just say, "There's something I want to tell you" and let him know how you feel. Make sure he's alone when you deliver the news, or his friends might think it's funny and will start chatting with you.
   • Send him a Facebook message to let him know how you feel. This may give you more time to gather your thoughts and to tell him why he's special to you. Just make sure he's the kind of person who actually checks his Facebook messages so you're not nervously waiting around for an answer for no reason.
3. Have a trusted friend deliver the news. Having a friend deliver the news is a common way to tell a boy you like him in middle school. There's no shame in it, and as long as you trust your friend, she should say the right thing and improve your chances of connecting with your crush. Here's how you do it:
   • Pick a friend who knows how to talk to guys. Not only should you ask a friend that you trust, but make sure it's someone who knows how to talk to guys without making them uneasy. Ideally, your friend will already know the guy and won't catch him off guard by approaching him.
   • Have your friend ask him by herself. If she's surrounded by a gaggle of girls, he will feel overwhelmed and might blush and not want to answer.
   • Have your friend ask him in a relatively private place. Your friend shouldn't approach him in the middle of the cafeteria or a kickball game in gym class, when he's surrounded by other people. She should find the right time to pull him aside.
4. React appropriately. Whether the guy says he likes you and wants to be your boyfriend, or if he doesn't share your feelings, you should have the right reaction so you can move forward after you've taken this big step. Here's what you can do:
   • If he does want to be your boyfriend, be happy about it. Good work — you made it happen! You can start being his girlfriend, which means holding hands in the hall, talking at his locker, and going to the mall and movies together. To keep him around, you should not be too clingy, maintain your other friendships, and keep busy so he doesn't think your life revolves around him. After all, it shouldn't, it's middle school.
   • Once you're his girlfriend, do not feel pressure to do anything you're uncomfortable with. If you're not ready to kiss or take the relationship further, don't do it. He'll respect you for sticking with your decision, and if he's the kind of guy who only wants to be with you because he wants to hook up, then he's not right for you anyway.
   • If he doesn't share your feelings, don't be disappointed. Try to remain calm instead of being overly emotional or upset, and he will respect you more for it. And remember that it's only middle school, where the average relationship lasts just a few weeks. You've been brave by trying and telling him how you feel, and you'll find someone even better next time!

Tips

• The more happy you seem around him, the more he will notice you.
• Don't be the girl who grinds with guys at the middle school dance. If a guy knows you do this, he may think you're easy and definitely not girlfriend material.
• Always have a good lip gloss ready (preferably something sweet like strawberry or cotton candy).
• Help him out if he drops papers or if he is stuck on a question or whatever. He will then think that you are a very kind and helpful person to have around. But don't do that too much or it will just get weird.
• If he catches you staring, don't quickly look down. It's awkward. Instead, smile and go back to what you were doing. This will leave him thinking about you.
• Don't bug him over and over. You might scare him away. Be careful!
• Don't act needy, but do not act like you're ignoring him. Talk to him when you can, give him little smiles when you pass or say "Hey". Some do that and it may, or may not work. He may talk to you more, but, don't throw a party. You're probably not boyfriend and girlfriend yet.
• Play "damsel in distress". If you can't reach a certain book, can't see the board, ask him for help! If he's quick to do it, smile sweetly and thank him, but don't act needy or whiny. Don't do it too often or he might see through it!
• Don't wear makeup to attract a boy. If he'll become your boyfriend, he'll sooner or later see you without makeup anyway, so what's the point? Work on your charm and smile, that's what truly makes you beautiful!
• Once you two are close, try leaving little notes (such as "Good luck at your soccer tournament!"). That will subtly let him know you're thinking about him.

Warnings

• Don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, especially if it's your first boyfriend. You are only in middle school and shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing — not even kissing. If he has a different view when you're dating (forceful/mad or bossy) it's a sign that he can't handle girlfriends.
• Don't stare at him. Only look over when he's looking at you and then smile. If he catches you staring, and you pretend you weren't looking, he will lose his interest in you and think you just like his looks. if you do tend to stare at him and he catches you, just smile or ask him a question such as,"I don't get this math problem. Can you help me?"

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