Care for a Child While Attending College
Revision as of 02:59, 12 January 2016 by Kipkis (Kipkis | contribs) (importing article from wikihow)
It isn't exactly about being "mature" enough, an eight year old can act mature in the right circumstances. The idea is just to make sure you can tie all the knots in your college and personal life tight enough. And it's possible.
Contents
Steps
- Speak to the dean of students. They will tell you what kinds of support are available to you and tell you more about your situation. You will probably need to take time off related to the birth, and they will help to arrange this. The college may have a student aid society or childcare facilities, for example. Most dorms will not allow children, so you may have to move.
- Look for childcare. Day care facilities will usually take your child at a flat rate for a set amount for the whole week. This gives you more time to study but it may be expensive, and they will not take children under a certain age. Babysitting is less expensive but can be unreliable. Some professors will allow you to bring your baby to class.
- Talk to your professors. They need to understand that you may have to miss class or seek extensions based on your family situation. Make arrangements to get notes or assignments on days when you miss class. Some professors (some) might be alright with you taking a baby to class, especially if it's a baby under ten months in which case there won't be any running around involved. Babies will not be allowed in labs, clinical rotations etc.
- Talk to an advisor to figure out a reasonable class schedule. You may need to space your classes out or have them in a certain location in order to facilitate nursing the baby. Make sure that you are not overloaded--start with the minimum. It's better to take a long time than to pay for classes you wil have to drop.
- Talk to a La Leche League volunteer if you plan to nurse the baby. It is the most affordable option and it has great benefits for health and bonding, but you will need to be near the baby much of the time. LLL will help you figure out what you need and educate you about your legal rights as a nursing mother.
- Get help. You will need friends and family members on your side for childcare, class notes, and all sorts of help. If you are living away from home, you may want to transfer to a college where you can live with family or will have other forms of support. If you have a partner or the baby's father is involved, make sure that he does his share.
- Remember that you will need help while you are writing, studying, researching etc. Just because you are not in class, it does not mean that you don't need help with childcare.
- Do independent studying. If you're a freshman there are usually certain classes you are required to take during the first semester, as prerequisites. If these classes are on opposite ends of the campus or at odd times and it will cause you a lot of anxiety to juggle the classes and a kid, talk to the head of department for the class (try to get the top person) and see if you can form a curriculum for you to do the work independently (this works best if the prerequisite class is writing-based and is graded solely on what you turn in) or at least if you can petition to move the class to a closer location.
- Don't take any night classes.
- Be flexible with your schedule. If you have a bunch of classes together which would mean you are away from your baby for more than two hours at a time, re-arrange your schedule. If you have to, drop a class.
- Get a single room. Although it would be tempting to stay with a roommate so that they can watch over the baby when you aren't around. It's a bit too much to hope for, that your classes match so that one of you is always around the baby. Also, if the child is being cranky or is upset or sick, you'll be causing the roommate a lot of anxiety.
- Spend two whole days(use weekends, or semester break) with your baby and monitor their sleeping, eating and attention-seeking pattern. It won't be that obvious, but you might notice things like, if you keep the lights off they nod off to sleep naturally or they need your attention most during the afternoon. try to work your way around this pattern.
- Take advantage of the natural sleeping pattern of young babies. If your baby is under six months old, you'll have an advantage: even though their sleep and hunger cycle will be slightly erratic, they will sleep A LOT. If you're in class and they wake up and cry a bit (for food or a nappy change etc.), they will soon fall back to sleep, but wake up again a lot sooner. You ought to be able to come back in time for them.
- Sleep when your baby sleeps. If you come back from class and the baby is asleep. Sleep as well. You might be waking up at odd hours to feed and change the child and you don't want to miss out on sleep. This is very important. You will wake up if the baby starts crying. If you doubt this, get a baby alarm so that it goes off if the baby's awake, waking you up too.
- Talk to all your professors and tell them that because you're watching over a child as well, you might need to rush out of class periodically. Ask for permission to put a dictaphone or any kind of voice recorder on their desk while they are lecturing so that even if you dash out in the middle of a lecture, you can still review it later once you collect it at the end of the class. Ask the professor or a friend to keep the dictaphone for you in case you don't return in time.
- Assure your professors that you will make up whatever you miss in class.
- Get a laptop or computer and set up a good internet connection in your room. If you need books from the library, just check them out whenever you can. It is best if you do all your research in your room and not where you're far away from your baby.
- Take your baby with you as much as possible. Get a 'baby backpack' so you can carry your baby around with your hands free.[[Image:Care for a Child While Attending College Step
- try to do your studying outside. Go to a park and take your baby with you. Both of you would love a change of scene from time to time.
- Keep your baby with you as much as possible, but also see if you can drop the baby off at your parents' or someplace for a couple of days, especially during exam time.
- Keep the baby around if you are an 'all-nighter' person when it comes to exams, because that's one way you'll stay awake and also have periodical distraction so that you get a break from studying once in a while.
- Love being a mom. It's your baby and he/she loves you no matter what simply because you gave birth to him/her. Reciprocate it.
- try to get a job (preferably on-campus) that would let you keep your baby with you. Even if you don't need the money immediately, keep it and save it. When your baby starts running around, you'll still be in college and it would be a bit more difficult leaving them even for two hours at a time, and then you can use the money to pay for longer stretches of day care.
- Make sure you only take the minimum number of credit hours. At least for now. You're priority isn't just graduating, it's graduating with a happy and healthy you (and of course, a happy and healthy baby). You aren't super-mom. Make sure that you take the option that allows you to be a good student (if you take more, you won't be able to give each class 100% of your input) and a good mother.
- Even if you pick the minimum workload and you spend time thinking, hang on, I can easily handle a bit more. Do not give in to this temptation. You are a new mother and student. You have to be okay with taking it easy for the first few semesters.
- Relax.
- Work your schedule completely around your kid's. Eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep and play when they want to play. This may sound a bit annoying but it will save you a lot of hassle and stress.
- Keep company. Do not become isolated. If you're taking a walk with the baby, invite someone to come with you. Be social (this will not only keep your mood up, it will also introduce you to potential babysitters:P)
- Tell yourself that you can do it. People have done it before. And you have the strength to do it.
Tips
- If it all becomes too much but you don't want to give up (hats off to you btw) enroll as a part time student instead of full time. You'll be able to juggle things a lot better.
- If you need more help try contacting a local community help group or even ask the college for help.
- If the workload gets too much, take a break for a semester. It won't hurt you, and it would be a good opportunity to relax and focus on being a mother.
- If you're only in first semester try to be strong enough to lug through one semester and take the next semester off.
Warnings
- Do not think you are a bad mother. You're a good mother as long as you're trying to make it work
- If you start to become depressed, try going out for a movie or doing something fun. With or without your baby. If you feel more depressed more often, seek help! It's natural to feel like that sometimes, but you need to recognise it and do something about it.
- Do not drink or do drugs AT ALL while juggling a baby and college. Condition yourself to feel better using 'non-addictive' measures like funny movies (romantic comedies work brilliantly sometimes) and good company.
