Care for Your Upset Boyfriend

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Your boyfriend is upset. You don't know what to do but you are concerned. Read on and learn how to comfort your upset boyfriend

Steps

  1. Find out if you are just misinterpreting his actions. Is he just tired? Does he always act this way but you never really noticed? Find out if he is really upset so he won't get confused.
  2. Find out what's bothering him. Is it something to do with the relationship? Is it a family problem? Is he stressed out from school or work? Figure out what's bothering him so you choose the right approach and solution.
  3. Smile. Sometimes just a friendly smile can brighten his day. Don't be offended if he says something like "why are you so happy?" that just means you need to care for him even more. Also hugs can comfort.
  4. Give him space. Sometimes he will just need to work things out on his own. Walk away for a while but make sure he knows you're there for him and will talk if he wants.
  5. Encourage him to talk and vent, but don't be pushy. You don't want him to confuse caring with nosy.
  6. Be willing to sit and talk, whether you're on the phone, texting, or in person, let him vent out his feelings with you. Don't make excuses for anything he says and don't bring up problems from either one of your pasts. That is unless his current problems are related to the ones in the past.
  7. Find a private spot and let him cry. Be willing to sit with him and let him vent. Whether or not he is crying or yelling or being silent. Sit with him until he's calmed down and ready to talk. If the situation is appropriate and/or you are both really close, hold him tightly and whisper "it's ok. I'm here." or make shushing sounds.
  8. Give him a back rub or hold hands. He will feel better if he knows you don't feel awkward so get close to him.
  9. Once you are done, let him know you're always there for him and you care for him. If it's true (and only if it's true) tell him you love him.

Tips

  • If he wants you to keep it a secret, keep it a secret. The only exception is if he wants to hurt himself or somebody else. Then tell a parent, teacher, counselor, older sibling, etc.
  • Sometimes just sitting close to him will help.
  • Don't take it personally if he gets angry. He's just upset and things will blow over.
  • Keep him distracted from the bad things. Go out to a funny movie or eat dinner at his favorite restaurant.
  • Surprise him. Make him a dinner he likes, rent his favorite movie, go out to somewhere he likes. Just something that shows you care.
  • People usually sing or hum their boyfriend's favorite songs for him when he's sad. It really works well if you can sing or have.
  • Sometimes it's best to give him some space and let him tell you his problems in his own time. Don't push him to talk if he doesn't want to; otherwise, you will be pushing him away from you.
  • Give him his time and you too take time to calm down and analyse what happened and then approach with a calm and broad mind of forgiveness and acceptance

Warnings

  • If you tell people about his problems, he most likely will not trust you again. But tell someone if he wants to hurt himself or others. He will thank you after the moments of betrayal pass.
  • Only talk when and where there are no distractions. If you are constantly distracted and answering calls, etc he will feel like you don't care.
  • Don't say anything you don't mean. Especially don't tell him you love him if you aren't 100% sure. If you confess later on it was a mistake, both of you will be embarrassed and it might end your relationship.
  • He may get angry and think you are invading his space. If this happens, don't accuse and get angry back. Let him know you are just trying to help. Then back off.
  • If you get mad at him If he says it's your fault, chances are, nothing will change except both of you will be mad.