Caress

To caress is to “move your hands gently over someone’s face or body to show them that you love them.” Caressing your partner’s body can create a sensual experience based on touch and help to demonstrate your love for them in a non-verbal way. You can caress a loved one with your hands as a form of foreplay or you can caress a friend in a friendly way as a form of greeting or as a way to say goodbye.

Steps

Caressing a Romantic Partner

1. Maintain eye contact. Start by making eye contact with your partner as this will signal that you are engaged in her and trying to set a romantic mood. Ensure your partner meets your eye contact and maintains eye contact with you, as this will show she is also interested in some romantic caressing.
2. Warm up your hands. Studies have shown that romantic partners respond better to caresses with hands that are at slightly above room temperature. Rub your hands together before touching your partner and avoid holding cold beverages or cold objects, as your partner may not respond positively to a caress by ice cold hands.
   • You can also warm your hands by putting on gloves if you are in a cold outdoor environment or holding them over a warm fire if you are sitting in front of a romantic fire with your partner. The idea is to warm up your hands to a temperature that will be pleasing when you touch your partner’s body.
3. Move your hand slowly, about one inch per second. Most people enjoy slow, gentle caresses so take it nice and easy when you touch your partner. Try to exert slight pressure with your fingertips and your hands on your partner’s face, neck, shoulders, arms, and back, moving about one inch per second. You may want to make light circles over your partner’s skin, figure eights, or trace any beauty marks with your fingertips.
   • Watch out for any ticklish areas and avoid running your fingertips over these areas, as this can cause discomfort. Instead, use a warm palm or your knuckles to softly caress any ticklish areas.
4. Ask your partner how the caress feels and adjust your caresses accordingly. As you caress your partner, you should communicate with her to determine how and where she enjoys being caressed. Ask her, “How does that feel?” as you run your fingertips and hands over certain spots on her body, and if she is clearly enjoying how you are touching a certain area, continue to do this. Read her verbal cues and her physical cues to ensure your caresses feel good to her.
   • You can also tell her to “coach you” or show you where she would like to be caressed and how she would like to be caressed. This could create some fun foreplay between you and your partner and allow you to please your partner with your caresses.
5. Note how your partner is responding to your touch. Your partner may not be able to verbalize her desires when it comes to touch, so take note of how she is responding to your caresses. If her body language is open, excited, and stimulated, with visible sweating, looks of pleasure, and head nodding, these are all signs she is likely enjoying your caresses. If she displays looks of discomfort, annoyance, or boredom, making no eye contact with you or head nodding, these may be signs she is not into your caresses. You may then need to change up your approach.
   • If you are caressing a man, most men enjoy when their partners stroke their chests, back, and buttocks with a light touch. You can also tease his groin area with your fingertips and apply pressure with your hands on his groin area.
   • If you are caressing a woman, most women enjoy when their partners stroke their chest area, their buttocks, and their inner legs. You can also tease her groin area with your fingertips, using light touches.

Caressing a Friend

1. Make eye contact. Before you caress a friend, you should make eye contact and greet her to connect with her in a verbal way. This could be a simple greeting like “hello, how are you” or this could be a form of farewell at the end of a conversation or hang out, like “nice to see you, have a good day.” Look the friend in the eye as you speak to her and move your body closer to her so she is aware you may be going in for a friendly caress like a hug.
2. Ensure your friend wants to be touched. Not everyone enjoys physical contact or being touched, even by close friends or acquaintances. To avoid invading your friend’s personal space, you should gauge if your friend would not mind friendly touching before you move in for a caress.
   • Notice your friend’s body language as you say good bye or hello to her, especially if you usually do not hug or touch this friend. If your friend displays closed body language, with her hands crossed over her chest and a good amount of space between you, she may not be amenable to a hug or a friendly pat. If she displays open body language, with her body facing towards you, her hands relaxed at her sides, and her body close to yours, she may be open to a friendly hug hello or goodbye.
3. Ask a new friend if you can give her a friendly caress. If you are talking to someone you just met or do not know very well, you may not want to freak her out or invade her personal space be diving right for a hug, a handshake, or a friendly caress. To prevent making things awkward, you may want to ask the new friend directly if it would be okay to hug her, shake her hand, or give her a friendly pat on the arm.
   • Asking permission can also be important for individuals who are uncomfortable with touch due to psychological discomfort with touching from strangers that may be tied to trauma or past negative experiences with touch. Some people do not like friendly touching from strangers, so if the new friend says no to a hug or friendly caress, respect her decision and do not force the hug or caress.
4. Give your friend a hug or a friendly pat on the arm. If your friend is projecting open body language and maintaining eye contact with you, you may have the all clear to give your friend a hug or a friendly pat on the arm. If a new friend gives you the okay to touch her, you may want to give them a brief hug or a handshake.
   • Keep the hug friendly by ensuring the hug does not last too long or evolve into more romantic touching. Hug a good friend with joy and enthusiasm, with your hands wrapped around their lower back, but do not place your hands on your friend’s bum or chest, as this could be taken as romantic caressing instead of friendly caressing.

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Sources and Citations

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