Difference between revisions of "Tell if She Is out of Your League"
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#* If you're not sure how to judge your looks, ask a good friend to help you figure it out, someone who will be brutally honest with you. Just be sure you can take it. | #* If you're not sure how to judge your looks, ask a good friend to help you figure it out, someone who will be brutally honest with you. Just be sure you can take it. | ||
#* Even if you're average or below-average in the looks department, you still shouldn't count yourself out. Let her do that for you after you approach her. Plus, she could come to find you more attractive over time if she enjoys your personality. | #* Even if you're average or below-average in the looks department, you still shouldn't count yourself out. Let her do that for you after you approach her. Plus, she could come to find you more attractive over time if she enjoys your personality. | ||
| − | # Check educational level. In addition, education and intelligence is another important part of considering if someone is out of your "league." In other words, if she has a doctorate and you barely finished high school, that may not be a good match because you may not have the same pursuits.< | + | # Check educational level. In addition, education and intelligence is another important part of considering if someone is out of your "league." In other words, if she has a doctorate and you barely finished high school, that may not be a good match because you may not have the same pursuits.<ref name="rf1">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201412/laws-attraction-how-do-we-select-life-partner</ref> |
#* Of course, education and intelligence are not the same thing. You can be incredibly intelligent and only have a GED. Nonetheless, if she's smart and sharp, she's going to probably want someone who can keep up with her. | #* Of course, education and intelligence are not the same thing. You can be incredibly intelligent and only have a GED. Nonetheless, if she's smart and sharp, she's going to probably want someone who can keep up with her. | ||
# Pay attention to her fitness level. If she's very into healthiness and you're not, that could be a barrier. You should be able to tell on some level. If she's muscular or is obviously abstaining from unhealthy foods, that's a good indicator that a healthy lifestyle is important to her. It's not that you are less worthy if you don't enjoy the same type of lifestyle. It's just that you may find that your two lifestyles aren't compatible. | # Pay attention to her fitness level. If she's very into healthiness and you're not, that could be a barrier. You should be able to tell on some level. If she's muscular or is obviously abstaining from unhealthy foods, that's a good indicator that a healthy lifestyle is important to her. It's not that you are less worthy if you don't enjoy the same type of lifestyle. It's just that you may find that your two lifestyles aren't compatible. | ||
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#* Other barriers could include the issue of marriage (Do you both want it?) and kids (Yes or no?). | #* Other barriers could include the issue of marriage (Do you both want it?) and kids (Yes or no?). | ||
#* You may also have issues based on what kind of life you want. For instance, if she wants a fast-paced urban life but you prefer suburbia, then you may not be compatible. | #* You may also have issues based on what kind of life you want. For instance, if she wants a fast-paced urban life but you prefer suburbia, then you may not be compatible. | ||
| − | # Remember it's not all about leagues. Money, looks, education, and social status do obviously play a role in choosing a mate. However, many other factors can make you more attractive to a woman, including being a competent person or having a warm personality. In other words, don't dismiss your other good qualities just because you've judged her to be "ahead" of you in certain areas.<ref | + | # Remember it's not all about leagues. Money, looks, education, and social status do obviously play a role in choosing a mate. However, many other factors can make you more attractive to a woman, including being a competent person or having a warm personality. In other words, don't dismiss your other good qualities just because you've judged her to be "ahead" of you in certain areas.<ref name="rf1" /> |
=== Showing You're Interested With Body Language === | === Showing You're Interested With Body Language === | ||
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#* Starting a conversation with her is really the only way you'll be able to tell if she considers you in her league or not. | #* Starting a conversation with her is really the only way you'll be able to tell if she considers you in her league or not. | ||
#* It's often easy to tell if a smile is genuine. Try to make it reach your eyes. You can also show your teeth. | #* It's often easy to tell if a smile is genuine. Try to make it reach your eyes. You can also show your teeth. | ||
| − | # Show your confidence. If you want to show someone you like them, you can't be timid about it. Many people have a hard time telling when someone is flirting with them because it is so subtle and because not everyone flirts in the same way.< | + | # Show your confidence. If you want to show someone you like them, you can't be timid about it. Many people have a hard time telling when someone is flirting with them because it is so subtle and because not everyone flirts in the same way.<ref name="rf2">http://psychcentral.com/news/2015/02/13/flirting-behaviors-explained/81207.html</ref> Therefore, to make sure she knows, you have to be confident and use confident body language.<ref name="rf3">http://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2012/04/10-signs-of-a-confident-communicator/</ref><br><br> |
#* Start by looking her in the eyes. Looking down or away from her doesn't show her you're interested. Obviously, you don't want to stare, but try to catch her gaze and hold it for a few seconds.<ref name="rf3">http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2013/07/attraction-body-language/</ref> | #* Start by looking her in the eyes. Looking down or away from her doesn't show her you're interested. Obviously, you don't want to stare, but try to catch her gaze and hold it for a few seconds.<ref name="rf3">http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2013/07/attraction-body-language/</ref> | ||
#* Other confident gestures include standing up straight and not fidgeting. | #* Other confident gestures include standing up straight and not fidgeting. | ||
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#* You could also say something like, "Would you mind moving your bag so I can sit here?" | #* You could also say something like, "Would you mind moving your bag so I can sit here?" | ||
#* Also, give her your name and ask for hers in return. | #* Also, give her your name and ask for hers in return. | ||
| − | # Ask her about herself. While wildly different people do get into relationships, most people find partners who are similar to themselves. Education, socioeconomic standing, and beliefs all play a part in finding a good match.< | + | # Ask her about herself. While wildly different people do get into relationships, most people find partners who are similar to themselves. Education, socioeconomic standing, and beliefs all play a part in finding a good match.<ref name="rf1" /> |
#* The principle of "matching" does apply to looks, too. However, if you're compatible in other ways, looks may not matter as much. | #* The principle of "matching" does apply to looks, too. However, if you're compatible in other ways, looks may not matter as much. | ||
#* Try drawing her out a bit to find more about her. Once you do, you'll be able to assess whether she's out of your league, or whether, in fact, you're out of hers. | #* Try drawing her out a bit to find more about her. Once you do, you'll be able to assess whether she's out of your league, or whether, in fact, you're out of hers. | ||
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=== Gauging Her Interest === | === Gauging Her Interest === | ||
| − | # Watch for negative body language. By opening the conversation, you've invited her to determine if you're in her league or not. One way to tell if she's interested is to watch her body language. Her body language will say much about what she's thinking, even if she doesn't want to verbalize it. For instance, she may try to create more space between you two by stepping back.< | + | # Watch for negative body language. By opening the conversation, you've invited her to determine if you're in her league or not. One way to tell if she's interested is to watch her body language. Her body language will say much about what she's thinking, even if she doesn't want to verbalize it. For instance, she may try to create more space between you two by stepping back.<ref name="rf4">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201110/reading-basic-body-language-dating-and-persuasion-success</ref> |
#* She may also lean away, look away, or pull a bad face. | #* She may also lean away, look away, or pull a bad face. | ||
#* You may also notice she has "closed" body language, where she crosses her arms or legs and turns away from you. She may also use her purse as a shield, of sorts, holding it in front of her body. | #* You may also notice she has "closed" body language, where she crosses her arms or legs and turns away from you. She may also use her purse as a shield, of sorts, holding it in front of her body. | ||
