Difference between revisions of "Stop Waiting for Prince Charming"
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| − | + | Most girls and even some women from time to time daydream about being swept away by a handsome, wealthy man and living happily ever after. But it is wise to make sure you realize the difference between a fairy tale and real life. The idea of Prince Charming has qualities that are worth honoring, but there is a lot of danger in taking it too seriously. | |
[[Category:Beauty and Grooming for Girls]] | [[Category:Beauty and Grooming for Girls]] | ||
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
# Consider what is meant by Prince Charming. Who is this guy, anyway? Ever notice that "Prince Charming" shows up in several fairy tales? It is true! (Note: Disney movies do not count. These stories pre-date movies by centuries.) Unlike main characters like Snow White, Prince Charming tends to be poorly described and has a rather shallow role. Fairy tales such as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty tend to bring in "Prince Charming" last minute and within a sentence or two live happily ever after. But other than that, we do not hear much about what he is like. | # Consider what is meant by Prince Charming. Who is this guy, anyway? Ever notice that "Prince Charming" shows up in several fairy tales? It is true! (Note: Disney movies do not count. These stories pre-date movies by centuries.) Unlike main characters like Snow White, Prince Charming tends to be poorly described and has a rather shallow role. Fairy tales such as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty tend to bring in "Prince Charming" last minute and within a sentence or two live happily ever after. But other than that, we do not hear much about what he is like. | ||
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#*For all you know, Prince Charming is attracted by a woman surrounded by friends. And that has to be a match made in heaven because a guy who embraces your friends from the very start is indeed [[Be Charming|charming]]. | #*For all you know, Prince Charming is attracted by a woman surrounded by friends. And that has to be a match made in heaven because a guy who embraces your friends from the very start is indeed [[Be Charming|charming]]. | ||
#*Don't neglect your guy friends. They are equally as important as your girlfriends. Not only can you learn a lot by hanging around them and asking the questions you don't think appropriate to ask your girlfriends, but you get to see a very different perspective of love, [[Maintain Romance|romance]], and all that mushy stuff that might just help to balance your unrealistic expectations a little. And you never know whether Prince Charming is hiding out among your best friends. | #*Don't neglect your guy friends. They are equally as important as your girlfriends. Not only can you learn a lot by hanging around them and asking the questions you don't think appropriate to ask your girlfriends, but you get to see a very different perspective of love, [[Maintain Romance|romance]], and all that mushy stuff that might just help to balance your unrealistic expectations a little. And you never know whether Prince Charming is hiding out among your best friends. | ||
| − | # Look after your own resources and needs before all else. Many girls continue to hold a belief that they will marry well and that this will take care of all the financial nitty-gritty in their lives so that they don't have to face up to planning finances with great clarity into their future.<ref>Liz Perle, ''Money: A Memoir'', p. 65, (2006), ISBN 978-0-312-42627-9</ref> This head-in-the sand approach is fantasizing and leaves you vulnerable to poor financial choices that can impoverish you. When Prince Charming either fails to materialize or does appear but isn't the [[Appear Wealthy|wealthy]] benefactor able to take care of you in the way you've hoped, then things start looking grim. Over one-third to two-thirds of women in the 35 to 55 age bracket right now will be impoverished by the age of 70, with many women having to stay in the workforce until at least the age of 74 as a result of inadequate financial savings and [[Fill out IRS Form 1040|pension]] coverage.<ref | + | # Look after your own resources and needs before all else. Many girls continue to hold a belief that they will marry well and that this will take care of all the financial nitty-gritty in their lives so that they don't have to face up to planning finances with great clarity into their future.<ref name="rf1">Liz Perle, ''Money: A Memoir'', p. 65, (2006), ISBN 978-0-312-42627-9</ref> This head-in-the sand approach is fantasizing and leaves you vulnerable to poor financial choices that can impoverish you. When Prince Charming either fails to materialize or does appear but isn't the [[Appear Wealthy|wealthy]] benefactor able to take care of you in the way you've hoped, then things start looking grim. Over one-third to two-thirds of women in the 35 to 55 age bracket right now will be impoverished by the age of 70, with many women having to stay in the workforce until at least the age of 74 as a result of inadequate financial savings and [[Fill out IRS Form 1040|pension]] coverage.<ref name="rf1" /> |
#*Plan your [[Understand Personal Finance Basics|personal savings]] and financial future as clearly and in as detailed a fashion as a man would do without question, and as someone who does give a care about her own financial needs down the track. This is not Prince Charming's role, it's totally yours. So, while you're waiting around for Prince Charming, establish the rules and boundaries about taking good financial care of ''you'' and decide now how you will ensure that this financial independence is sustained even ''after'' you've tied the knot. | #*Plan your [[Understand Personal Finance Basics|personal savings]] and financial future as clearly and in as detailed a fashion as a man would do without question, and as someone who does give a care about her own financial needs down the track. This is not Prince Charming's role, it's totally yours. So, while you're waiting around for Prince Charming, establish the rules and boundaries about taking good financial care of ''you'' and decide now how you will ensure that this financial independence is sustained even ''after'' you've tied the knot. | ||
| − | # Map out what you really want out of a relationship. Think about how you will manage to practice "positive illusions" for years to come when your Prince Charming's personal habits start to grate on your nerves and yours on his but you still wish to remain content together and overlook the things that inevitably change...<ref>Helen Fisher, ''How to make the romance last'', p. 162, in ''Love Your Life: O's Handbook for Your Best Today–and Tomorrow'', (2010), ISBN 0-8487-3365-7</ref> [[Convince Your Spouse to Follow Your Expectations|Maintaining your independence]] and space are important parts of having a successful long-term relationship with another person. | + | # Map out what you really want out of a relationship. Think about how you will manage to practice "positive illusions" for years to come when your Prince Charming's personal habits start to grate on your nerves and yours on his but you still wish to remain content together and overlook the things that inevitably change...<ref name="rf2">Helen Fisher, ''How to make the romance last'', p. 162, in ''Love Your Life: O's Handbook for Your Best Today–and Tomorrow'', (2010), ISBN 0-8487-3365-7</ref> [[Convince Your Spouse to Follow Your Expectations|Maintaining your independence]] and space are important parts of having a successful long-term relationship with another person. |
#*Think about the realities beyond the Prince Charming myth and how these make you feel. Comforted? Scared? Worried? Reassured? Write down the ways that you can tackle anything that concerns you in an independent way, so that when Prince Charming does arrive, he's a bonus, not a savior. | #*Think about the realities beyond the Prince Charming myth and how these make you feel. Comforted? Scared? Worried? Reassured? Write down the ways that you can tackle anything that concerns you in an independent way, so that when Prince Charming does arrive, he's a bonus, not a savior. | ||
# Have a good [[Laugh|laugh]] about the whole Prince Charming thing. Women are sold a bit of a myth when it comes to the whole Prince Charming concept but instead of seeing this in negative terms, it's a fantastic opportunity to teach yourself about having perspective, to think critically about the social tales fed to women, and to learn to [[Have a Sense of Humor|have a sense of humor]] about something that can sometimes be taken a little too seriously. Prince Charming makes for great novels written by bored authors sitting alongside a chocolate box and he's a fantastic source of mid-afternoon dreaming on a lazy summer's day but really, wake up! Think about how this perspective serves you as a modern woman. Does it, really? Is this romantic vision likely to keep you happy and secure into your old age, or will you be happier and more secure focusing on being resourceful and capable yourself, regardless of what life throws at you? | # Have a good [[Laugh|laugh]] about the whole Prince Charming thing. Women are sold a bit of a myth when it comes to the whole Prince Charming concept but instead of seeing this in negative terms, it's a fantastic opportunity to teach yourself about having perspective, to think critically about the social tales fed to women, and to learn to [[Have a Sense of Humor|have a sense of humor]] about something that can sometimes be taken a little too seriously. Prince Charming makes for great novels written by bored authors sitting alongside a chocolate box and he's a fantastic source of mid-afternoon dreaming on a lazy summer's day but really, wake up! Think about how this perspective serves you as a modern woman. Does it, really? Is this romantic vision likely to keep you happy and secure into your old age, or will you be happier and more secure focusing on being resourceful and capable yourself, regardless of what life throws at you? | ||
