Difference between revisions of "Say No to Negative Peer Pressure"
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Peer pressure is a normal factor in the process of growing up. However, sometimes we can be pressured to do things against our will. This can happen especially among teenagers: saying yes to something seems to be the easier way to fit in, even when you don’t feel like doing what you’re asked to. There are many ways you can recognize peer pressure, avoid situations where this might happen or say no without making it sound awkward or judgmental. | Peer pressure is a normal factor in the process of growing up. However, sometimes we can be pressured to do things against our will. This can happen especially among teenagers: saying yes to something seems to be the easier way to fit in, even when you don’t feel like doing what you’re asked to. There are many ways you can recognize peer pressure, avoid situations where this might happen or say no without making it sound awkward or judgmental. | ||
| − | [[Category:Peer Pressure]] | + | [[Category: Peer Pressure]] |
==Steps== | ==Steps== | ||
===Avoiding Negative Peer Pressure=== | ===Avoiding Negative Peer Pressure=== | ||
| − | #Identify direct and indirect pressure. [[Deal-With-Peer-Pressure|Peer pressure]] can be both direct, when someone tells you to do something or offers you something, or indirect, if you feel pressured to do something by a certain environment or situation. <ref>http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/peer-pressure</ref> If you’re at a party where everyone drinks, you might feel you have to do it too in order to fit in, even if no one asks you to. In the first case, you’ll have to learn how to say no politely but firmly. | + | #Identify direct and indirect pressure. [[Deal-With-Peer-Pressure|Peer pressure]] can be both direct, when someone tells you to do something or offers you something, or indirect, if you feel pressured to do something by a certain environment or situation. <ref name="rf1">http://us.reachout.com/facts/factsheet/peer-pressure</ref> If you’re at a party where everyone drinks, you might feel you have to do it too in order to fit in, even if no one asks you to. In the first case, you’ll have to learn how to say no politely but firmly. |
#*In the case of indirect peer pressure, you might not find yourself in a situation where you have to say no. However, you’ll still have to [[Build-Self-Control|develop a strategy of self-control]] to stick to your principles and habits and do only what you’re comfortable with. | #*In the case of indirect peer pressure, you might not find yourself in a situation where you have to say no. However, you’ll still have to [[Build-Self-Control|develop a strategy of self-control]] to stick to your principles and habits and do only what you’re comfortable with. | ||
| − | #Be prepared. Learn to identify those situations where unwanted offers or behaviors are most likely to happen. Plan ahead what you’d say or how you’d act to turn down an offer.<ref>http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/</ref> | + | #Be prepared. Learn to identify those situations where unwanted offers or behaviors are most likely to happen. Plan ahead what you’d say or how you’d act to turn down an offer.<ref name="rf2">http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/</ref> |
#*Being prepared will allow you to face these situations more open-mindedly. It’s okay to hang out with people who have different habits from yours. Knowing what to expect will help you respect their decisions as well as stand by yours. | #*Being prepared will allow you to face these situations more open-mindedly. It’s okay to hang out with people who have different habits from yours. Knowing what to expect will help you respect their decisions as well as stand by yours. | ||
#Avoid situations that can lead to negative peer pressure. You’re probably the best one to know which environments or places are likely to lead to an unwanted situation. If you’re not confident you can say, the best option is probably to avoid these places outright.<ref>http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/ | #Avoid situations that can lead to negative peer pressure. You’re probably the best one to know which environments or places are likely to lead to an unwanted situation. If you’re not confident you can say, the best option is probably to avoid these places outright.<ref>http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/ | ||
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#*Parties or clubs where most people will be drinking and smoking | #*Parties or clubs where most people will be drinking and smoking | ||
#*Private meetings with someone you don’t want to have sex with | #*Private meetings with someone you don’t want to have sex with | ||
| − | #Act like a leader. It’s much easier to say yes to anything, even if it’s something we don’t want to do. However, showing that you’re in control of your life will get you much more respect from your peers in the long run. It’s not the easiest course of action, but it ultimately pays off and helps you be surrounded only by those who truly care about you. <ref>http://www.drugrehab.us/news/combat-peer-pressure/</ref> | + | #Act like a leader. It’s much easier to say yes to anything, even if it’s something we don’t want to do. However, showing that you’re in control of your life will get you much more respect from your peers in the long run. It’s not the easiest course of action, but it ultimately pays off and helps you be surrounded only by those who truly care about you. <ref name="rf3">http://www.drugrehab.us/news/combat-peer-pressure/</ref> |
#*For example, show your friends you feel confident about your lifestyle and personal tastes. Don’t mimic what they do, but stick to what you like and pursue it. | #*For example, show your friends you feel confident about your lifestyle and personal tastes. Don’t mimic what they do, but stick to what you like and pursue it. | ||
#*Be proactive in suggesting activities and taking care of their organization. If you come up with fun ideas, others will look for you when they want to have a good time and follow your lead, rather than the opposite. | #*Be proactive in suggesting activities and taking care of their organization. If you come up with fun ideas, others will look for you when they want to have a good time and follow your lead, rather than the opposite. | ||
#*Keep in mind that being a leader is not the same as being patronizing toward your friends: to lead means to guide, not to act bossy or aloof. | #*Keep in mind that being a leader is not the same as being patronizing toward your friends: to lead means to guide, not to act bossy or aloof. | ||
| − | #Be selective in choosing your friends. Since peer pressure comes from people, avoiding to hang out with those who are most likely to pressure you into unwanted behavior is the safest choice. Surrounding yourself with friends who share your views and lifestyle will decrease the chances of having to deal with uncomfortable situations. <ref | + | #Be selective in choosing your friends. Since peer pressure comes from people, avoiding to hang out with those who are most likely to pressure you into unwanted behavior is the safest choice. Surrounding yourself with friends who share your views and lifestyle will decrease the chances of having to deal with uncomfortable situations. <ref name="rf3" /> |
#*Remember that real friends won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to do as a way to prove your courage or friendship. If someone expects this from you or makes fun of your choices, it’s probably not worth hanging out with. | #*Remember that real friends won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to do as a way to prove your courage or friendship. If someone expects this from you or makes fun of your choices, it’s probably not worth hanging out with. | ||
===Saying No to a Direct Question=== | ===Saying No to a Direct Question=== | ||
#Just say no. In most cases, “No, thanks” is enough as an answer. Don’t feel like you have to provide an explanation if you’re not asked to. This will make you sound defensive, while your goal is to show you don’t have to justify yourself. In most cases, the explanation is implicit. | #Just say no. In most cases, “No, thanks” is enough as an answer. Don’t feel like you have to provide an explanation if you’re not asked to. This will make you sound defensive, while your goal is to show you don’t have to justify yourself. In most cases, the explanation is implicit. | ||
| − | #*This is the best course of action when you’re offered something you don’t want to, like a drink, a cigarette or even drugs. <ref> http://www.ed.gov.nl.ca/edu/k12/safeandcaring/students/peerpressure.html</ref> | + | #*This is the best course of action when you’re offered something you don’t want to, like a drink, a cigarette or even drugs. <ref name="rf4"> http://www.ed.gov.nl.ca/edu/k12/safeandcaring/students/peerpressure.html</ref> |
#*Try not to sound rude. If your friend is simply suggesting you do something you don’t want to, as bad as it may seem, being polite will make it easier to move on and change the subject. Just add a “thanks” after your “no” and smile. | #*Try not to sound rude. If your friend is simply suggesting you do something you don’t want to, as bad as it may seem, being polite will make it easier to move on and change the subject. Just add a “thanks” after your “no” and smile. | ||
| − | #Say no and state why. Make your explanation short without making a big deal about it. If someone offers you a cigarette, you can simply say “No, thanks, I don’t smoke”: that is a good enough explanation. This strategy works very well when you’re asked to do something you don’t want to, or when you want to avoid a specific situation. <ref | + | #Say no and state why. Make your explanation short without making a big deal about it. If someone offers you a cigarette, you can simply say “No, thanks, I don’t smoke”: that is a good enough explanation. This strategy works very well when you’re asked to do something you don’t want to, or when you want to avoid a specific situation. <ref name="rf4" /> |
#*For example, if someone asks you to go to a party where drugs are involved, you can say “I’m not going, sorry, I know there’ll be drugs and I don’t want to find myself in that situation," or “I’m not going, sorry, I don’t like the people who’ll be there." | #*For example, if someone asks you to go to a party where drugs are involved, you can say “I’m not going, sorry, I know there’ll be drugs and I don’t want to find myself in that situation," or “I’m not going, sorry, I don’t like the people who’ll be there." | ||
#*You can also make up an excuse if providing the real explanation can make things awkward: “I’m not going, sorry, I already have plans for tonight." | #*You can also make up an excuse if providing the real explanation can make things awkward: “I’m not going, sorry, I already have plans for tonight." | ||
| − | #*Do your best to make your statement as positive as possible. Try not to sound condescending or judgmental. You might not agree with someone’s actions or habits but respecting their decisions will make them respect yours. <ref | + | #*Do your best to make your statement as positive as possible. Try not to sound condescending or judgmental. You might not agree with someone’s actions or habits but respecting their decisions will make them respect yours. <ref name="rf1" /> |
#Say no and make a joke. Humor is often best way to get out of an awkward situation and helps release the tension. <ref> http://www.ed.gov.nl.ca/edu/k12/safeandcaring/students/peerpressure.html | #Say no and make a joke. Humor is often best way to get out of an awkward situation and helps release the tension. <ref> http://www.ed.gov.nl.ca/edu/k12/safeandcaring/students/peerpressure.html | ||
| − | </ref> <ref> https://www.unodc.org/drugs/get-the-facts/coping-with-peer-pressure.html</ref> | + | </ref> <ref name="rf5"> https://www.unodc.org/drugs/get-the-facts/coping-with-peer-pressure.html</ref> |
#*A good way to do this is by exaggerating the consequences of the action. If you’re offered a drug, possible jokes can be “No thanks, you don’t want to see me naked jumping around the room!” | #*A good way to do this is by exaggerating the consequences of the action. If you’re offered a drug, possible jokes can be “No thanks, you don’t want to see me naked jumping around the room!” | ||
#*Another option is to give a sarcastic explanation. If you’re offered a cigarette, you can say “No thanks, I’ve had five cigars already," or “No thanks, I’d rather smoke my pipe." | #*Another option is to give a sarcastic explanation. If you’re offered a cigarette, you can say “No thanks, I’ve had five cigars already," or “No thanks, I’d rather smoke my pipe." | ||
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#*Whatever you suggest, make sure to be specific. Avoid generic statements like “Let’s do something different”; suggesting an alternative that your friend might actually like better will make it easier and faster to get past the situation. | #*Whatever you suggest, make sure to be specific. Avoid generic statements like “Let’s do something different”; suggesting an alternative that your friend might actually like better will make it easier and faster to get past the situation. | ||
===Dealing with a Critical Situation=== | ===Dealing with a Critical Situation=== | ||
| − | #Repeat yourself. Sometimes the situation might become more critical than you expected. Your friend might be pushing you even if you’ve already said “No, thanks." If the offer becomes insistent, you’ll have to make it clear that that is not what you want to do. Saying no again and more firmly is the best thing you can do at this stage. <ref>http://www.yourlifecounts.org/blog/20-ways-avoid-peer-pressure</ref> | + | #Repeat yourself. Sometimes the situation might become more critical than you expected. Your friend might be pushing you even if you’ve already said “No, thanks." If the offer becomes insistent, you’ll have to make it clear that that is not what you want to do. Saying no again and more firmly is the best thing you can do at this stage. <ref name="rf6">http://www.yourlifecounts.org/blog/20-ways-avoid-peer-pressure</ref> |
#*For example: “No thanks, I told you I don’t drink." | #*For example: “No thanks, I told you I don’t drink." | ||
#* Even in this case, rudeness is not the best way to go. However, make the tone of your voice firm and look at your friend straight in the eye to make your message clearer. | #* Even in this case, rudeness is not the best way to go. However, make the tone of your voice firm and look at your friend straight in the eye to make your message clearer. | ||
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== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
*Speak up without being afraid of it. Although saying “yes” seems like the easiest option, growing up also means knowing who you are and what you want to do rather than passively imitating your peers. If you’re around friends and do so politely, they will understand and respect you. <ref>http://www.drugrehab.us/news/combat-peer-pressure/ | *Speak up without being afraid of it. Although saying “yes” seems like the easiest option, growing up also means knowing who you are and what you want to do rather than passively imitating your peers. If you’re around friends and do so politely, they will understand and respect you. <ref>http://www.drugrehab.us/news/combat-peer-pressure/ | ||
| − | </ref> <ref>https://www.unodc.org/drugs/get-the-facts/coping-with-peer-pressure.html</ref> | + | </ref> <ref name="rf7">https://www.unodc.org/drugs/get-the-facts/coping-with-peer-pressure.html</ref> |
*Ask for advice. Talk to your parents or closest friends to find out how they dealt with peer pressure themselves and what they would do if they were in your shoes. | *Ask for advice. Talk to your parents or closest friends to find out how they dealt with peer pressure themselves and what they would do if they were in your shoes. | ||
