Difference between revisions of "Respond to Your Crush Asking You if You Like Her"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Thinking About Why She is Asking=== | ===Thinking About Why She is Asking=== | ||
| − | #Pay attention to her tone of voice and body language. Consider why she is asking. If you have an idea about how she feels, it will help you have a more productive conversation with her. We communicate mainly through our tone of voice and body language, so try to understand what is going on using these signals.<ref>http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2014-5?op=1</ref> | + | #Pay attention to her tone of voice and body language. Consider why she is asking. If you have an idea about how she feels, it will help you have a more productive conversation with her. We communicate mainly through our tone of voice and body language, so try to understand what is going on using these signals.<ref name="rf1">http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2014-5?op=1</ref> |
| − | #*If she is raising her eyebrows, she might be uncomfortable. This might mean that she does not want you to like her. <ref | + | #*If she is raising her eyebrows, she might be uncomfortable. This might mean that she does not want you to like her. <ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #*If she is mirroring your body language, then you are probably connecting. Perhaps she hopes that you like her back or she feels connected to you and wants you to know that she doesn’t want the same thing. <ref | + | #*If she is mirroring your body language, then you are probably connecting. Perhaps she hopes that you like her back or she feels connected to you and wants you to know that she doesn’t want the same thing. <ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #*If she is making lots of eye contact, this shows interest. But it could go both ways, she could be interested in knowing how you feel because you are close and she doesn’t want to hurt you, or because she likes you. <ref | + | #*If she is making lots of eye contact, this shows interest. But it could go both ways, she could be interested in knowing how you feel because you are close and she doesn’t want to hurt you, or because she likes you. <ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #*A group of gestures together shows that she feels connected to you. For example, if she is smiling, she has her head titled to the side, and she is holding or touching her face at the same time, this could mean that she does like you. However, always believe what she says over any of the signals you get. <ref | + | #*A group of gestures together shows that she feels connected to you. For example, if she is smiling, she has her head titled to the side, and she is holding or touching her face at the same time, this could mean that she does like you. However, always believe what she says over any of the signals you get. <ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #*Crossed legs and arms may mean that she is trying to stay closed off to you. This might mean that she is anxious or resistant to your feelings. <ref | + | #*Crossed legs and arms may mean that she is trying to stay closed off to you. This might mean that she is anxious or resistant to your feelings. <ref name="rf1" /> |
#Do not assume too much. Once you have considered how she feels and evaluated her body language, you do not have to over think her feelings for you. The truth is that you do not know for sure how she feels. And you will not know until you have asked her straight out how she feels. And believe what she says over the other signals you feel like you may be getting. | #Do not assume too much. Once you have considered how she feels and evaluated her body language, you do not have to over think her feelings for you. The truth is that you do not know for sure how she feels. And you will not know until you have asked her straight out how she feels. And believe what she says over the other signals you feel like you may be getting. | ||
#*Do not feel bad about what you think she feels or thinks. This is not going to help you stay confident, and it is also probably not accurate. | #*Do not feel bad about what you think she feels or thinks. This is not going to help you stay confident, and it is also probably not accurate. | ||
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#*Go to a park. Sit on the swings or find a bench where the two of you can talk. | #*Go to a park. Sit on the swings or find a bench where the two of you can talk. | ||
#Ask her where she would be comfortable having the conversation. In order to show her that you respect her space and boundaries, ask her to decide where you should go. If she does not have a preference, then you can suggest places to go. | #Ask her where she would be comfortable having the conversation. In order to show her that you respect her space and boundaries, ask her to decide where you should go. If she does not have a preference, then you can suggest places to go. | ||
| − | #Look her in the eye and say “Yes, I do have a crush on you.” Once you have had a minute and you are situated you can own how you feel, and be confident. <ref>http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/articles-161209/</ref> Be careful not to try to force her to feel the same way. Say that you like her in a way that is free of further implication. Free of implication means that you are not communicating a different message through your body language or tone. | + | #Look her in the eye and say “Yes, I do have a crush on you.” Once you have had a minute and you are situated you can own how you feel, and be confident. <ref name="rf2">http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/articles-161209/</ref> Be careful not to try to force her to feel the same way. Say that you like her in a way that is free of further implication. Free of implication means that you are not communicating a different message through your body language or tone. |
#*For example, do not look very intently at her in a way that asks her to like you back. Or do not lean forward into her space unless you know that she likes you. | #*For example, do not look very intently at her in a way that asks her to like you back. Or do not lean forward into her space unless you know that she likes you. | ||
#*You could ask her how she feels before you say anything. However, it is more attractive and confident if you own how you feel and speak first. | #*You could ask her how she feels before you say anything. However, it is more attractive and confident if you own how you feel and speak first. | ||
#Ask her how she feels. She has asked you about your crush on her, and you can absolutely ask why she wants to know. Simply ask “why are you asking?” Do not assume that you know why she is asking. | #Ask her how she feels. She has asked you about your crush on her, and you can absolutely ask why she wants to know. Simply ask “why are you asking?” Do not assume that you know why she is asking. | ||
#*Once again, keep your tone and body language free of implication. Do not suggest that you know why she is asking with a flirty or accusing tone. | #*Once again, keep your tone and body language free of implication. Do not suggest that you know why she is asking with a flirty or accusing tone. | ||
| − | #*Focus fully on what she is saying. Show interest, nod, smile and communicate that you understand through your body language and noises. <ref>http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm</ref> | + | #*Focus fully on what she is saying. Show interest, nod, smile and communicate that you understand through your body language and noises. <ref name="rf3">http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm</ref> |
| − | #*Try not to interrupt her. Let her speak her piece. You can ask for clarification later. <ref | + | #*Try not to interrupt her. Let her speak her piece. You can ask for clarification later. <ref name="rf3" /> |
| − | #*Give her feedback about what she said. You can say "so what I hear you say is ...". This will let her know that you really listened and that you want to understand her. <ref | + | #*Give her feedback about what she said. You can say "so what I hear you say is ...". This will let her know that you really listened and that you want to understand her. <ref name="rf3" /> |
#*Do not be judgmental about what she is saying. This is how she feels and although it may involve you, do not take her feelings personally. Read on to the next method for more on not taking it personally. | #*Do not be judgmental about what she is saying. This is how she feels and although it may involve you, do not take her feelings personally. Read on to the next method for more on not taking it personally. | ||
#Respond with honesty and kindness. If she likes you back, you can tell her “I’m so excited that you like me too!” If she does not like you back, you can tell her honestly “I’m sad that you do not like me, but I appreciate that you told me.” | #Respond with honesty and kindness. If she likes you back, you can tell her “I’m so excited that you like me too!” If she does not like you back, you can tell her honestly “I’m sad that you do not like me, but I appreciate that you told me.” | ||
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#*You can also follow up over text message, but keep it brief. Do not try to change her mind, instead, acknowledge the conversation and then move on. | #*You can also follow up over text message, but keep it brief. Do not try to change her mind, instead, acknowledge the conversation and then move on. | ||
===Moving On If She is Uninterested=== | ===Moving On If She is Uninterested=== | ||
| − | #Do not take it personally. Whether someone likes you or not says nothing about you as a person. You are still awesome for all of the same reasons. Do not let her romantic feelings change the way you feel about yourself. <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201408/how-stop-taking-things-personally</ref> | + | #Do not take it personally. Whether someone likes you or not says nothing about you as a person. You are still awesome for all of the same reasons. Do not let her romantic feelings change the way you feel about yourself. <ref name="rf4">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201408/how-stop-taking-things-personally</ref> |
| − | #*Think about it from her perspective. The more you understand her, the easier it will be to realize that it is not about you. <ref | + | #*Think about it from her perspective. The more you understand her, the easier it will be to realize that it is not about you. <ref name="rf4" /> |
#*Avoid jumping to conclusions. You don’t know why she doesn’t like you. Be careful not to assume that it is because of something particular about you. | #*Avoid jumping to conclusions. You don’t know why she doesn’t like you. Be careful not to assume that it is because of something particular about you. | ||
#*Make some space between you and your immediate reaction. Try to suppress any initial panicked emotions. Realize that your feelings will subside and wait for them to do so before you speak or do anything. | #*Make some space between you and your immediate reaction. Try to suppress any initial panicked emotions. Realize that your feelings will subside and wait for them to do so before you speak or do anything. | ||
| − | #Work on liking yourself. Liking yourself is more important than other people liking you.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/23/8-steps-to-like-yourself-more/</ref> When you truly like yourself, it has an awesome effect- other people want to be around you more. | + | #Work on liking yourself. Liking yourself is more important than other people liking you.<ref name="rf5">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/23/8-steps-to-like-yourself-more/</ref> When you truly like yourself, it has an awesome effect- other people want to be around you more. |
#*Speak to yourself as a friend. You should offer yourself the same compassion, love and support you would to a friend who is going through a hard time. | #*Speak to yourself as a friend. You should offer yourself the same compassion, love and support you would to a friend who is going through a hard time. | ||
#*Imagine yourself confident and free. In your mind visualize what you would look like if you were perfectly confident and happy. What would you look like? Strive for being that person. Think about that person when you are in doubt about yourself. | #*Imagine yourself confident and free. In your mind visualize what you would look like if you were perfectly confident and happy. What would you look like? Strive for being that person. Think about that person when you are in doubt about yourself. | ||
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#Start talking to new people. If you are feeling like you are ready to move on, pursue girls you are interested in. Hang out with groups of people that have new girls. Ask your friends about any get together coming up and attend them. | #Start talking to new people. If you are feeling like you are ready to move on, pursue girls you are interested in. Hang out with groups of people that have new girls. Ask your friends about any get together coming up and attend them. | ||
#*When you meet a girl you like, ask her for her number. You can be direct and say “I really liked talking to you- can I have your number so we can keep talking?” | #*When you meet a girl you like, ask her for her number. You can be direct and say “I really liked talking to you- can I have your number so we can keep talking?” | ||
| − | #*Go on online dating websites. There are a few free websites that you can join and meet people to date. Lots of people use these applications to find people who share their interests and personality type. <ref>http://www.consumer-rankings.com/free-dating/?vn=d-new-lp2&a=148&c=3019&s1=137375908.135131272&agid=2018768350&g=1&ls=g&gclid=CjwKEAjwjMauBRDH-bOCo56b13wSJABA2-HvsDrD1q6-O22LSVI2IujzfA-KgUWK5yzrCQCK9lRzHxoCsH7w_wcB</ref> | + | #*Go on online dating websites. There are a few free websites that you can join and meet people to date. Lots of people use these applications to find people who share their interests and personality type. <ref name="rf6">http://www.consumer-rankings.com/free-dating/?vn=d-new-lp2&a=148&c=3019&s1=137375908.135131272&agid=2018768350&g=1&ls=g&gclid=CjwKEAjwjMauBRDH-bOCo56b13wSJABA2-HvsDrD1q6-O22LSVI2IujzfA-KgUWK5yzrCQCK9lRzHxoCsH7w_wcB</ref> |
==Sources and Citations== | ==Sources and Citations== | ||
