Eat a Burger
Revision as of 15:21, 16 February 2017 by Kipkis (Kipkis | contribs) (importing article from wikihow)
Believe it or not, it is possible to enjoy that juicy hamburger or cheeseburger without looking like a complete slob. Savoring it without making a mess while eating with the effortless suavity of seasoned veteran is your task. Are you ready to accept it?
Steps
- Cut it up. Instead of trying to take a bite out of the burger as a big whole, cut it into halves or even quarters. Then, you can pick up the smaller pieces and eat those. You won't get that "condiment smile", where the ketchup, mustard, etc. is smothered all across your cheeks.
- Hold it correctly. If, however, you'd prefer to eat the burger without cutting it up, be sure to hold it correctly. Grab the burger with both hands. A one handed "cool" look is when you get into trouble. However, it is helpful if you are eating in a vehicle or on the go. The best option is to have some sort of napkin, waxed paper, or wrapper, and wrap it around the lower portion of the burger. This will prevent juices and condiments from leaking out of the bottom of the sandwich.
- Do not squeeze it too hard. If you do that, that is when the juices start to get all over you. If you hold your burger correctly, you'll prevent any grease drippings from leaking out, and your condiments won't squish onto your clothes.
- Chew with your mouth closed. Nobody wants to see chewed-up hamburger working its way around your mouth. It's not only rude but unappetizing for the other person. Avoid taking large bites as this will make it harder to chew with a closed mouth.
- Don't talk with your mouth full. For the same reason as above, this is a no-no. Try not to talk in between bites, this often distracts you, and then the burger starts dripping all over you. There is also the chance that food could fall out of your mouth, which is very unpleasant. Your dining partner won't like having little hamburger bits spit into their face. It sounds disgusting because, well, it is!
Tips
- Don't be afraid of getting a little messy! Anyone who has ever eaten a burger knows how messy it can get. As long as you make an effort to show some manners, you should be okay.
- Have napkins on hand. Especially in non-fast-food burger places, burger juices might run onto your hands. This is ok; the juices are a sign of a well-made burger. Just be prepared to clean up.
- If you eat on the run often, consider leaving napkins, small paper plates, and plastic knives or forks in your glove compartment. It may be embarrassing for people to find your little stash, but it sure beats going back to work with a ketchup stain smeared on your shirt. At the very least, always keep a stack of napkins or a handkerchief around.
- If the burger contents keep drooping on the back, try sticking a toothpick or two through the burger to keep it in place. Just remember take the toothpicks off before you eat the area!
- Always chew. If you don't chew, you might choke, which could become a very dangerous situation.
- Most importantly- Ignore all annoying insults or name calling by friends for the content or the size of your burger. It is your meal, and you have the right and freedom to consume whatever type and size of meal you wish to. It is also important to ignore funny comments, which could result in laughter while eating, which could cause you to spew food. And that's never good.
- Enjoy your burger!
- Wear clothing appropriate for allowing you to consume the burger without any hindrances. A darker colored outfit could prevent some materials from marking your clothes, while a tighter-necked top could stop juices from spilling down your shirt. You should also put a napkin in your lap and/or tucked into your shirt, in order to halt condiments from reaching you or your clothes. A mayo spill near the crotch area could leave you as red in the face as the tomatoes in your burger!
- Don't bring condiments in your purse or wallet because they could explode and create a bigger mess for you.
- Just enjoy your hamburger the way you want it! It doesn't have to be perfect.
Warnings
- Do not consume your delicious burger too fast. This may cause a tummy-ache.
Things You'll Need
- Napkins, forks, knives, plate, burger, plus a table or other eating area
- Any other optional materials.
