Enjoy Being Single

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I'm single because I was born that way. — Mae West


If you're fixated on being part of a couple, here are some reasons to savor your singleness.

Steps

  1. Overcome Negativity. In a couple-driven consumer marketing society, you're bound to come across people who wonder why you're single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling to that ideal as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is "wrong" with you if you're single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don't have to defend your right for being single, just like it's rude to attack the validity of someone's relationship. Just say "I prefer being single" and change the subject or mention that statistics show that 1/2 of all people are single.
  2. Focus on friendship. Being single doesn't have to mean being lonely. When you're single, you have more time to do a variety of things, all of which are opportunities to forge new friendships. Even if you're an introvert, this can be an excellent time to nurture your extroverted side. But social butterflies can grapple with loneliness too. Make it a priority in your life to create meaningful friendships and enrich your existing ones.
  3. Enjoy your freedom. Everybody has radical little fantasies...and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for. So what are you waiting for? Find some people who have the same idea, or just go for it alone, and you'll meet like-minded people along the way.
  4. Appreciate the absence of compromise. Classic relationship advice dictates that compromise, sacrifice are essential to a healthy relationship. Perhaps if you've been in a relationship before, you realize how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. Or maybe you forgot about that stuff, because you're focused on the things you miss. Well, this is a good time to shift that focus. If you're a slob, isn't it great to be able to leave your stuff laying around, without anybody minding? If you're a neat freak, isn't it wonderful to be able to organize everything, and find it the way you left it? Isn't it nice to be able to cook and eat and enjoy foods that a partner might be averse to? Isn't it cool to be able to go out spontaneously, without wondering whether your partner can or should be invited? A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.
  5. Cherish the excitement. Relationships tend to come along with planning--for example, you can't just accept a job across the country without touching base with your significant other. And generally, if you're in it for the long haul, you'll likely talk about what you'll be doing years from now. But when you're single, the future is completely open. Today you're at your desk, and a year from now you might be camping in Alaska. Right now you're single, but tomorrow you might meet your soul-mate. Who knows? Fantasize. Be spontaneous. Be bold.
  6. Being married is a "lifestyle choice" and not a "requirement." Therefore, being single is a "lifestyle choice" and not a "default option." It is possible to CHOOSE to be single. There are advantages to being single just as there are disadvantages to being married, such as loss of personal freedom, having to compromise, etc. Conversely, there are advantages to being single, as well as disadvantages. Whether one is married or single is nothing more than a lifestyle choice.

Tips

  • Ignore the toxic people in your life. It is easy to recognize them. Their negative words of fear and discouragement sap your energy.
  • To be happily single it shows that your happiness doesn't depend on other people.
  • Decide for yourself if there are aspects of your life or your personality that you would like to change and do it. You are your best evaluator. You don't need to listen to those people who tell you that you are single because you are too "picky", too fat, or too old to meet someone else.
  • Shift your thinking from "I'm sad and lonely" to "I'm happy and free".
  • Be sociable, go out and have fun and meet new people, just because there is no one in your life yet doesn't mean there never will be. Take your time and wait for the right person!!
  • Being single doesn't mean your life is over go out there and be proud of who you are and be comfortable with yourself remember confidence is key.
  • Invest in yourself. Save some money and get a professional massage. Get a manicure and pedicure .... anything that nurtures your body and lifts your spirit.
  • If you feel you need someone in your life,have confidence.Even if you see other couples all happy and all your friends have someone,remember that when the timing is right,that special person will come along.It just may not be at the exact same time your friends' meet someone.
  • Be grateful for what you have. Many people in the world don't have what you have.
  • Try to enjoy not being tied down, and the freedom to flirt and mingle with other singles.
  • Say yes to every opportunity to learn, grow and meet new people.
  • Just be you, you know yourself better than anyone.
  • Look in your local newspaper for opportunities to join a service club or volunteer with an organization. Look in your church newsletter for church related activities if that makes you happy. Check the continuing education program at your local community college to see if there is a class that you would like to attend.
  • Be yourself not just a single mom, remember you have needs too, you deserve the odd treat.
  • Love yourself and be yourself.
  • If you're depressed about being single or lonely, try to remember times back when you were a young child, running around with friends not worried about crushes and dates and think to your self, if I was happy then, why can't I be happy now? If a major problem to happiness comes to your head, try to fix that problem, then you will probably find yourself a little happier.
  • Try something new! Examples are joining in a choir, volunteering, trying a new sport, the possibilities are endless!
  • Work on yourself- body, spirit and mind. Pay attention to your dreams, wishes and desires. Improve your skills and plans for the future.
  • Use this time for productive activities-learn a new language, take a dance class, travel around the world!

Warnings

  • You can learn new things from anyone you could possibly meet, but be careful; choose people who teach you in a positive way rather than a negative one. Some lessons are better learned through observation, rather than experience.

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