Difference between revisions of "Make People Feel Comfortable Around You"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
=== Becoming More Approachable === | === Becoming More Approachable === | ||
| − | #Sincerely praise others. Don't use flattery, but genuinely give credit where credit is due. People enjoy being around others who can recognize and are not threatened by other people’s abilities or talents.<ref> http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/</ref> | + | #Sincerely praise others. Don't use flattery, but genuinely give credit where credit is due. People enjoy being around others who can recognize and are not threatened by other people’s abilities or talents.<ref name="rf1"> http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/</ref> |
| − | #Make fun of yourself. You know yourself better than pretty much anyone else, so it's easiest to make jokes about you. Everyone likes someone who's humble and self-effacing humor is a great way to show others that you are not uptight and you don’t take yourself too seriously.<ref>http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2012/08/13/15-ways-to-accomplish-more-with-the-right-kind-of-humor/</ref> | + | #Make fun of yourself. You know yourself better than pretty much anyone else, so it's easiest to make jokes about you. Everyone likes someone who's humble and self-effacing humor is a great way to show others that you are not uptight and you don’t take yourself too seriously.<ref name="rf2">http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2012/08/13/15-ways-to-accomplish-more-with-the-right-kind-of-humor/</ref> |
#*Avoid looking sorry for yourself when you're making fun of yourself. People need to know you are just joking. | #*Avoid looking sorry for yourself when you're making fun of yourself. People need to know you are just joking. | ||
| − | #Minimize others' mistakes. Try to avoid habitually correcting other people, unless their mistake will end up making things worse for them or someone else. Also, downplay it if others point it out. While someone else may be wrong, it doesn’t make you a better person for pointing it out.<ref>http://www.artofliving.org/wisdom/knowledge-sheets/dont-make-mistake-pointing-out-mistakes</ref> | + | #Minimize others' mistakes. Try to avoid habitually correcting other people, unless their mistake will end up making things worse for them or someone else. Also, downplay it if others point it out. While someone else may be wrong, it doesn’t make you a better person for pointing it out.<ref name="rf3">http://www.artofliving.org/wisdom/knowledge-sheets/dont-make-mistake-pointing-out-mistakes</ref> |
#Be inclusive. Don't tell an inside joke unless everyone present knows it. Also, don't refer to something about which a person in the conversation doesn't know without explaining it to him or her first. If you are constantly discussing things other people don’t understand, they will begin to feel stupid around you. Rather than educating themselves, they will probably just avoid you. | #Be inclusive. Don't tell an inside joke unless everyone present knows it. Also, don't refer to something about which a person in the conversation doesn't know without explaining it to him or her first. If you are constantly discussing things other people don’t understand, they will begin to feel stupid around you. Rather than educating themselves, they will probably just avoid you. | ||
| − | #Have good hygiene. This one can’t be stated strongly enough. No one will want to be anywhere near you if you stink, look dirty, are wearing disheveled clothing, etc. The best way to be approachable is to look and smell like someone people want to be around.<ref>http://www.thesimpledollar.com/investing-in-yourself-personal-appearance-and-hygiene/</ref> | + | #Have good hygiene. This one can’t be stated strongly enough. No one will want to be anywhere near you if you stink, look dirty, are wearing disheveled clothing, etc. The best way to be approachable is to look and smell like someone people want to be around.<ref name="rf4">http://www.thesimpledollar.com/investing-in-yourself-personal-appearance-and-hygiene/</ref> |
| − | #Understand personal space. Maintain your own personal space and don't invade others' without some sort of invitation to do so. Avoid touching or standing too close to people you don’t know very well.<ref | + | #Understand personal space. Maintain your own personal space and don't invade others' without some sort of invitation to do so. Avoid touching or standing too close to people you don’t know very well.<ref name="rf1" /> |
=== Becoming More Outgoing === | === Becoming More Outgoing === | ||
| − | #Be confident. Confidence is important. Try sticking to your principles and don't say the opposite a few moments later. That just makes you look like you are desperately trying to find something smart to say. If you are comfortable with who you are and confident about yourself, walking up to people and striking up a conversation should be no problem.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself</ref> | + | #Be confident. Confidence is important. Try sticking to your principles and don't say the opposite a few moments later. That just makes you look like you are desperately trying to find something smart to say. If you are comfortable with who you are and confident about yourself, walking up to people and striking up a conversation should be no problem.<ref name="rf5">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself</ref> |
#Plan ahead. Think about what you are going to say before saying it. Consider what people's reactions will probably be, and decide if what you are about to say is worth being said. Not saying everything that pops into your mind doesn’t make you cowardly or meek, it makes you prudent. | #Plan ahead. Think about what you are going to say before saying it. Consider what people's reactions will probably be, and decide if what you are about to say is worth being said. Not saying everything that pops into your mind doesn’t make you cowardly or meek, it makes you prudent. | ||
#*Don't be thinking about other stuff while you are having a conversation. You will eventually give off a distant, weird or creepy vibe if you do. | #*Don't be thinking about other stuff while you are having a conversation. You will eventually give off a distant, weird or creepy vibe if you do. | ||
| − | #Be bold. Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself! Who wouldn’t want to talk to the guy with green hair and the bright orange shirt? Being open and bold is an important tool for making people relax. When you can draw attention to yourself, it puts others at ease and will make it easier for you to approach them.<ref | + | #Be bold. Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself! Who wouldn’t want to talk to the guy with green hair and the bright orange shirt? Being open and bold is an important tool for making people relax. When you can draw attention to yourself, it puts others at ease and will make it easier for you to approach them.<ref name="rf5" /> |
| − | #Carefully examine conversation topics. Remember the types of things the people who you are around like, then you can talk about things you all like, and everyone will be laughing with you and smiling soon! Finding common ground with others is an important skill that should not be overlooked.<ref | + | #Carefully examine conversation topics. Remember the types of things the people who you are around like, then you can talk about things you all like, and everyone will be laughing with you and smiling soon! Finding common ground with others is an important skill that should not be overlooked.<ref name="rf5" /> |
| − | #Develop a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to mess around with people a little bit. Being able to joke around with others puts the people around you at ease. If you find that humor is one of your stronger characteristics, use it to approach new people.<ref>http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2013/11/03/use-humor-to-befriend-defuse-tension-and-have-more-fun/</ref> | + | #Develop a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to mess around with people a little bit. Being able to joke around with others puts the people around you at ease. If you find that humor is one of your stronger characteristics, use it to approach new people.<ref name="rf6">http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2013/11/03/use-humor-to-befriend-defuse-tension-and-have-more-fun/</ref> |
=== Avoiding Common Mistakes === | === Avoiding Common Mistakes === | ||
| − | #Be yourself and act natural. No one likes a fake, so just be yourself. People will admire that you aren't afraid of what others think. Don't be different on purpose though; this will just make you seem weird.<ref>http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/</ref> | + | #Be yourself and act natural. No one likes a fake, so just be yourself. People will admire that you aren't afraid of what others think. Don't be different on purpose though; this will just make you seem weird.<ref name="rf7">http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/</ref> |
| − | #Avoid making fun of others. Avoid insulting other people unless you're just messing around. Don't say anything hurtful. Be really careful with this. The longer you've known a person, the more you can mess around with him or her.<ref | + | #Avoid making fun of others. Avoid insulting other people unless you're just messing around. Don't say anything hurtful. Be really careful with this. The longer you've known a person, the more you can mess around with him or her.<ref name="rf7" /> |
#Avoid racist slurs or sexual comments. Sometimes, making someone feel comfortable is not the best option, especially when that person holds offensive and outdated social views. Do not compromise the truth and your values just to fit in with others. | #Avoid racist slurs or sexual comments. Sometimes, making someone feel comfortable is not the best option, especially when that person holds offensive and outdated social views. Do not compromise the truth and your values just to fit in with others. | ||
#* People who cling to sexist and racist attitudes are not the type of people you want to be associating with anyways. | #* People who cling to sexist and racist attitudes are not the type of people you want to be associating with anyways. | ||
| − | #Avoid trying too hard. It is easy to spot someone who is trying too hard to “fit in” or “get along” with other people. Don’t exert too much pressure on yourself and don’t try to engage in social settings that are truly uncomfortable for you. People will notice right away and you may end up making people even more uncomfortable than before.<ref | + | #Avoid trying too hard. It is easy to spot someone who is trying too hard to “fit in” or “get along” with other people. Don’t exert too much pressure on yourself and don’t try to engage in social settings that are truly uncomfortable for you. People will notice right away and you may end up making people even more uncomfortable than before.<ref name="rf1" /> |
| − | #Avoid being combative. Everyone likes people who are smart, but everyone hates a know-it-all. Don’t jump down other peoples’ throats for what you feel are wrong or misplaced comments. No one likes to be judged and you won’t be impressing anyone by constantly arguing to prove that you know better.<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself</ref> | + | #Avoid being combative. Everyone likes people who are smart, but everyone hates a know-it-all. Don’t jump down other peoples’ throats for what you feel are wrong or misplaced comments. No one likes to be judged and you won’t be impressing anyone by constantly arguing to prove that you know better.<ref name="rf8"> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself</ref> |
== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
*Believe you can do anything. Don't be afraid what others think and goof around! | *Believe you can do anything. Don't be afraid what others think and goof around! | ||
