Difference between revisions of "Make Decisions"

#Write about your fears. Journaling about your fears may help you to start to understand them and make a better decision as a result. Start by writing about the decision you need to make. Describe or list everything that you are worried about regarding this decision. Allow yourself to vent about these fears without judging yourself for having them.<ref name="rf3985" />

#Identify the worst case scenario. Once you have written about the decision you need to make and why you have fear regarding that decision, take it a step further. Try to identify the worst case scenario for each possible choice. Pushing your decision to the limits of what could go wrong if all goes wrong may make the process less frightening.<ref name="rf7284" />

#*Decide whether this worst-case scenario is actually likely to happen. It’s easy for us to “catastrophize,” or spin things out to the worst possible thing that can happen, without taking the time to think. Examine the worst scenario you’ve proposed, and then consider what would have to happen to get you there. Is this likely?<ref name="rf7284" />

#Consider whether the decision you make will be permanent. Once you have thought about everything that could go wrong, think about whether the decision is reversible. Most decisions are reversible, so you can take comfort in knowing that if you hate your decision, you can always make a change to fix the situation later on.<ref name="rf16106">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201311/how-do-you-make-major-life-decision</ref>

#Talk to a friend or family member. Don’t feel like you have to make a tough decision all by yourself. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to help you or at least listen to your concerns. Share the details about the decision as well as your fears about what could go wrong. It may make you feel better to just vocalize your fears about the decision and your friend or family member may have some great advice and/or reassuring words for you.<ref name="rf16107">http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2012/03/28/6-tips-for-making-better-decisions/</ref>

#Stay calm. Riding high on emotions, either positive or negative, can impact your ability to make a rational decision. When you have any decision to make, the first step should generally be to stay as calm as possible. If you can't stay calm, put off making the decision until you're thinking clearly.<ref name="rf16108">http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/decision-making/</ref>  

#*To perform deep breathing exercises, start by placing on hand on your belly below your ribcage and the other on your chest. When you inhale, you should feel your abdomen expand as well as your chest.<ref name="rf4105" />

#Get as much information as possible. Most decisions are made better when you have enough information to make an informed decision. Making decisions, especially if they're about important topics, should rely on logic. Do some research to find out as much as you can about your decision.<ref name="rf16109">http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/decisionmaking.htm</ref>

#*For example, if you were trying to decide between keeping a full-time job and switching to a part-time job to spend more time with your kids, you would need to know how much money you would be losing each month by making the switch. You would also need to consider how much time you would gain with your kids. Record this information, as well as any other relevant information that might help you make your decision.<ref name="rf16110">http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_00.htm</ref>

#Use the “five whys” technique to understand the problem. Asking yourself “why?” five times can help you to uncover the source of a problem and determine if you are making a decision for the right reasons.<ref name="rf16111">http://www.cms.gov/Medicare/Provider-Enrollment-and-Certification/QAPI/downloads/FiveWhys.pdf</ref> For example, if you were trying to decide between keeping your full time job and moving to a part-time job to have more time with your family, your five whys might look like this:

#Think about who's affected. First and foremost, you should consider how your decision affects you. Specifically, how does your decision affect how you consider yourself as a person? What are your values and goals? Making decisions that are not “value-congruent” (i.e., they don’t align with the core beliefs that drive you) can leave you feeling unhappy and dissatisfied.<ref name="rf10406" /><ref name="rf586" />

#List all of your options. At first sight, it may appear that there is only one course of action, but that is usually not true. Even if your situation seems limited, try to make a list of alternatives. Don't try to evaluate them until you've got a full list. Be thorough. If you’re having trouble thinking of alternatives, brainstorm with some family or friends.<ref name="rf16109" />

#*Research also suggests that having ''too'' many options can lead to confusion and make it harder to make a decision.<ref name="rf16112">http://gbr.pepperdine.edu/2010/10/great-leaders-are-great-decision-makers/</ref> Once you have generated your list, eliminate anything that is obviously impractical. Try to keep your list of options to about five items.

#Make a spreadsheet to weigh the potential benefits and losses of your decisions. If your problem is complex and you feel overwhelmed by the variety of possible outcomes, consider making a spreadsheet to guide your decision making process. You can use Microsoft excel to make a spreadsheet or just make one on a piece of paper.<ref name="rf16109" />

#Advise yourself as if you were a friend. Sometimes taking a step back from the decision can help you to determine the right choice. Think about what you would tell a good friend who was struggling with the same decision. What decision would you advise them to make? What would you try to get them to see about that decision? Why would you counsel them in this way?<ref name="rf16113">http://lifehacker.com/four-tricks-to-help-you-make-any-difficult-decision-987762341</ref>

#Play devil's advocate. Playing devil's advocate can help you decide how you really feel about a decision because it forces you to take the opposite perspective and argue for it as if it is your own. If your argument against something you wanted to do starts to make a lot of sense, then you'll have new information to consider.<ref name="rf16114">https://www.ideals.illinois.edu/bitstream/handle/2142/29170/useofdevilsadvoc1036schw.pdf?sequence=1</ref>

#Consider whether you’re feeling guilty. Making a decision out of guilt is common, but guilt is not a helpful motivator for healthy decision making. Guilt often twists our perception of events and outcomes so that we aren’t seeing them (or our role in them) clearly.<ref name="rf16115">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3490329/</ref> Guilt can be particularly common for working women, who face extra social pressure to perfectly balance work and family life.<ref name="rf16116">http://www.workingmother.com/research-institute/what-moms-choose-working-mother-report</ref>

#* Doing things because we feel guilty can also be harmful because it can lead us to make decisions that aren’t congruent with our values.<ref name="rf10406" /><ref name="rf584" />

#*One way to recognize guilt motivation is to look for “should” or “must” statements.<ref name="rf16117">http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/ACFE3E6.pdf</ref> For example, you might feel as though “Good parents should spend all the time with their children” or “A parent who works X number of hours must be a bad parent.” These statements are based on external judgments, not your own values.

#Think about the future. At the end of the day, the best way to make a decision is to think about how you're going to feel about it in a few years. Think about what you'll think of yourself when you look in the mirror. How you'll explain it to your grandkids. If you don't like what the long term repercussions are going to be, you may need to rethink your approach.<ref name="rf16107" />

#Trust your instincts. You probably have a sense of which decision is the right one, so if all else fails you should go with your gut. Make your decision based on what feels right even if the spreadsheet says otherwise. Research has shown that people who make decisions based on how they feel tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who carefully weigh them out.<ref name="rf16118">Timothy D. Wilson et al., “Introspecting about Reasons Can Reduce Post-Choice Satisfaction,”Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 19 (1993): 331–339.</ref><ref name="rf16112" />

#*The more decisions you practice making, the more you can refine and hone your intuition.<ref name="rf16107" />

#Have a backup plan. [[Think Ahead|Thinking ahead]] may help you to feel less bothered by any possible negative outcomes. Make a backup plan to deal with your worst case scenario. Even if you are unlikely to need this plan, simply having a backup plan will help you to feel better equipped [[Prepare for the Worst|deal with the worst case scenario]]. People who are in leadership positions are expected to always have a backup plan because there is always a chance that something might go wrong. This strategy may be helpful for making minor decisions as well.<ref name="rf16107" />

*Avoid getting too hung up on keeping your options open. Researchers have found that our aversion to letting doors close, so to speak, results in poor decisions.<ref name="rf16119">http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/science/26tier.html</ref>