Difference between revisions of "Know when Your Girlfriend Wants to Break Up"
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==Steps== | ==Steps== | ||
=== Observing Your Girlfriend’s Behavior === | === Observing Your Girlfriend’s Behavior === | ||
| − | #Pay attention to how often she contacts you. This may or may not be a sign that she wants to break up, but if she was calling or texting you every day, but now she rarely tries to get in touch, and doesn’t answer when you try to contact her, it may be a sign that something is wrong.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201507/4-signs-your-relationship-may-be-over</ref> | + | #Pay attention to how often she contacts you. This may or may not be a sign that she wants to break up, but if she was calling or texting you every day, but now she rarely tries to get in touch, and doesn’t answer when you try to contact her, it may be a sign that something is wrong.<ref name="rf1">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201507/4-signs-your-relationship-may-be-over</ref> |
#*Try not to jump to conclusions. First, think about other things that may be going on in her life. Does she have a big exam coming up, or problems with her family? Has she just started a new job? There could be other reasons why she isn’t getting in touch with you as often as before. | #*Try not to jump to conclusions. First, think about other things that may be going on in her life. Does she have a big exam coming up, or problems with her family? Has she just started a new job? There could be other reasons why she isn’t getting in touch with you as often as before. | ||
#Try to make plans with her. If your girlfriend is into you, she’ll be excited to make plans with you. However, if she’s not, she’ll probably be reluctant to make plans. If you suggest something on Friday night, and she says that she’ll have to get back to you on Friday afternoon, then it’s a good sign she is hoping for something more interesting to pop up. | #Try to make plans with her. If your girlfriend is into you, she’ll be excited to make plans with you. However, if she’s not, she’ll probably be reluctant to make plans. If you suggest something on Friday night, and she says that she’ll have to get back to you on Friday afternoon, then it’s a good sign she is hoping for something more interesting to pop up. | ||
#*It’s important to remember that one instance of this does not necessarily mean she wants to break up. If it just happens once or twice, it may be because she had pending plans with a friend, but she wanted to confirm them before telling you she was busy. | #*It’s important to remember that one instance of this does not necessarily mean she wants to break up. If it just happens once or twice, it may be because she had pending plans with a friend, but she wanted to confirm them before telling you she was busy. | ||
#*If you’re in school, you can ask her if she wants to eat lunch together with you. If she says, “no” and makes up an excuse about eating with someone else, then she may not be so into the relationship anymore. | #*If you’re in school, you can ask her if she wants to eat lunch together with you. If she says, “no” and makes up an excuse about eating with someone else, then she may not be so into the relationship anymore. | ||
| − | #Notice how often she picks fights. Frequent fighting is also a common sign that a relationship is in decline, especially if you often fight over trivial things.<ref | + | #Notice how often she picks fights. Frequent fighting is also a common sign that a relationship is in decline, especially if you often fight over trivial things.<ref name="rf1" /> Has she been very irritable when she is around you? Does she pick fights over little things that didn’t used to bother her? The possible reasons behind this type of behavior are numerous (e.g. she could be stressed about a big deadline, or not feeling well), but if the behavior is happening every day, then it is a good sign she isn’t feeling happy about the relationship. |
#*Try to talk with her about this. Ask her if there is something going on that is making her feel very stressed, and if there is anything you can do to help. | #*Try to talk with her about this. Ask her if there is something going on that is making her feel very stressed, and if there is anything you can do to help. | ||
| − | #Think about your physical intimacy. Your relationship may also be in decline if you are having less physical intimacy.<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201507/4-signs-your-relationship-may-be-over</ref> This may not necessarily refer to sex, but instead how physically affectionate she is being in general. If you have a sexual relationship, but suddenly your girlfriend has no interest in it, and isn’t giving you any affection, then there may be something about your relationship that is bothering her. | + | #Think about your physical intimacy. Your relationship may also be in decline if you are having less physical intimacy.<ref name="rf2"> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201507/4-signs-your-relationship-may-be-over</ref> This may not necessarily refer to sex, but instead how physically affectionate she is being in general. If you have a sexual relationship, but suddenly your girlfriend has no interest in it, and isn’t giving you any affection, then there may be something about your relationship that is bothering her. |
#*If your girlfriend is normally not very physical with you anyway, then keep that in mind. Some people do not enjoy physical intimacy as much as others, and if your girlfriend doesn’t really enjoy it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t interested in you. | #*If your girlfriend is normally not very physical with you anyway, then keep that in mind. Some people do not enjoy physical intimacy as much as others, and if your girlfriend doesn’t really enjoy it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t interested in you. | ||
#*Did she enjoy holding your hand in the past, but now avoids it or swats your hand away any time you try? It may be an indication that something is bothering her. | #*Did she enjoy holding your hand in the past, but now avoids it or swats your hand away any time you try? It may be an indication that something is bothering her. | ||
| − | #[[Read Body Language|Pay attention to body language]]. Body language is a great indicator of how someone is feeling inside. If your girlfriend is happy to be around you, she will make eye contact with you, will turn her body so that it is facing you when talking, and will generally try to be close to you.<ref>http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/advice/a176/body-language-relationship-ll/</ref> | + | #[[Read Body Language|Pay attention to body language]]. Body language is a great indicator of how someone is feeling inside. If your girlfriend is happy to be around you, she will make eye contact with you, will turn her body so that it is facing you when talking, and will generally try to be close to you.<ref name="rf3">http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/advice/a176/body-language-relationship-ll/</ref> |
#*However, if she is crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact, it’s likely that something is bothering her. | #*However, if she is crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact, it’s likely that something is bothering her. | ||
=== Talking With Your Girlfriend === | === Talking With Your Girlfriend === | ||
| − | #Tell her you want to talk. Although you may feel like you want to avoid the conversation or tip-toe around the topic, it is best to be direct with your girlfriend.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-we-work/201407/how-start-conversation-you-re-dreading</ref> There’s no reason that you can’t communicate with your girlfriend about what’s going on in your head. Yes, this conversation may mean that she tells you she does want to break up, but it could also mean that she tells you what’s bothering her, and that she doesn’t want to break up. Either way, at least you will know. | + | #Tell her you want to talk. Although you may feel like you want to avoid the conversation or tip-toe around the topic, it is best to be direct with your girlfriend.<ref name="rf4">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-we-work/201407/how-start-conversation-you-re-dreading</ref> There’s no reason that you can’t communicate with your girlfriend about what’s going on in your head. Yes, this conversation may mean that she tells you she does want to break up, but it could also mean that she tells you what’s bothering her, and that she doesn’t want to break up. Either way, at least you will know. |
#*Tell her you want to set aside some time to have a conversation about something that is on your mind. Don’t just walk up and ask her if she wants to break up. This may confuse her, or cause her to react defensively. | #*Tell her you want to set aside some time to have a conversation about something that is on your mind. Don’t just walk up and ask her if she wants to break up. This may confuse her, or cause her to react defensively. | ||
#*If she says she can’t talk because she’s busy, suggest a time when you know she isn’t at school or work. You could also try inviting her to coffee or lunch, that way she will see it as time that she sets aside to talk to you, rather than an impromptu conversation. | #*If she says she can’t talk because she’s busy, suggest a time when you know she isn’t at school or work. You could also try inviting her to coffee or lunch, that way she will see it as time that she sets aside to talk to you, rather than an impromptu conversation. | ||
#*If you aren’t able to talk in person, you could also try chatting on the computer, over email, or over the phone. If you make yourself available to her over multiple channels, she will eventually have to give you a few minutes of her time. | #*If you aren’t able to talk in person, you could also try chatting on the computer, over email, or over the phone. If you make yourself available to her over multiple channels, she will eventually have to give you a few minutes of her time. | ||
| − | #Don’t make accusations. It is important to take time to stop and think about your reasons for suspecting your girlfriend of something, rather than jumping straight to a conclusion. Consider what evidence you have for the suspicion, how realistic the suspicion is, if you can verify the information somehow, and what you should do with the information.<ref>https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm</ref> | + | #Don’t make accusations. It is important to take time to stop and think about your reasons for suspecting your girlfriend of something, rather than jumping straight to a conclusion. Consider what evidence you have for the suspicion, how realistic the suspicion is, if you can verify the information somehow, and what you should do with the information.<ref name="rf5">https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm</ref> |
#*For example, you might suspect your girlfriend of cheating on you because you saw her smiling and laughing with a coworker. However, if this is your only evidence, then you might consider whether she was just being nice and trying to pass time at a somewhat boring job. You might decide that the best thing to do with the information is to ask her if she has any interest in this coworker. | #*For example, you might suspect your girlfriend of cheating on you because you saw her smiling and laughing with a coworker. However, if this is your only evidence, then you might consider whether she was just being nice and trying to pass time at a somewhat boring job. You might decide that the best thing to do with the information is to ask her if she has any interest in this coworker. | ||
#*Avoid saying things like, “I know you want to break up with me, and I know it’s because of that guy you’ve been hanging out with. Why don’t you just get it over with already?!” You’re assuming things, and although you may be right, throwing accusations in her face will only make her defensive. | #*Avoid saying things like, “I know you want to break up with me, and I know it’s because of that guy you’ve been hanging out with. Why don’t you just get it over with already?!” You’re assuming things, and although you may be right, throwing accusations in her face will only make her defensive. | ||
#*Instead, try approaching the conversation by saying that you sense that something has been on her mind, and you’d like to understand if she is happy in your relationship or whether there are things that need work. | #*Instead, try approaching the conversation by saying that you sense that something has been on her mind, and you’d like to understand if she is happy in your relationship or whether there are things that need work. | ||
#*You can also say, “I feel a bit worried because I’ve noticed that we haven’t been hanging out much anymore, and I’m not sure if there is something bothering you.” This shows her that you are trying to express your own feelings without accusing her of something specific. This is called [[Practice Nonviolent Communication|nonviolent communication]], and is a great way to approach difficult feelings with people you care about. | #*You can also say, “I feel a bit worried because I’ve noticed that we haven’t been hanging out much anymore, and I’m not sure if there is something bothering you.” This shows her that you are trying to express your own feelings without accusing her of something specific. This is called [[Practice Nonviolent Communication|nonviolent communication]], and is a great way to approach difficult feelings with people you care about. | ||
| − | #Listen to what she has to say. Active listening is when you use body language, questions, and other techniques to increase your comprehension of what your girlfriend says while also sending a clear signal that you are listening closely. For example, you can silently repeat what your girlfriend has just said to help yourself understand it better and you can increase her sense that you are listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and saying neutral things like, “uh huh” and “yes.”<ref>https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm</ref> | + | #Listen to what she has to say. Active listening is when you use body language, questions, and other techniques to increase your comprehension of what your girlfriend says while also sending a clear signal that you are listening closely. For example, you can silently repeat what your girlfriend has just said to help yourself understand it better and you can increase her sense that you are listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and saying neutral things like, “uh huh” and “yes.”<ref name="rf6">https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm</ref> |
#*Don’t just jump to your own conclusions, and resist the temptation to interrupt the things she is saying. Give her a chance to explain why she wants to break up, or why she doesn’t want to break up. She might have very legitimate reasons why she has been behaving strangely, and you will come across as insecure if you aren’t able to give her a chance to talk to you. | #*Don’t just jump to your own conclusions, and resist the temptation to interrupt the things she is saying. Give her a chance to explain why she wants to break up, or why she doesn’t want to break up. She might have very legitimate reasons why she has been behaving strangely, and you will come across as insecure if you aren’t able to give her a chance to talk to you. | ||
#*If she does want to break up, it’s still important to listen. The reasons she wants to break up may be things you hadn’t thought of, or hadn’t noticed. You may realize that breaking up does make sense. | #*If she does want to break up, it’s still important to listen. The reasons she wants to break up may be things you hadn’t thought of, or hadn’t noticed. You may realize that breaking up does make sense. | ||
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#*You can do this by saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling really unhappy about the relationship, but maybe you’re afraid of hurting me. I’d like it if you could be honest. Do you want to end the relationship?” Hopefully she will be honest with you at this point. | #*You can do this by saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling really unhappy about the relationship, but maybe you’re afraid of hurting me. I’d like it if you could be honest. Do you want to end the relationship?” Hopefully she will be honest with you at this point. | ||
#Say what you need to say. Now you have a chance to get anything off your chest. If she has said she wants to break up, it may be tempting to say mean things, but try not to do this if you can. It doesn’t solve anything, and won’t make you feel better. If she has said that everything is OK, then tell her what has made you feel worried about it. | #Say what you need to say. Now you have a chance to get anything off your chest. If she has said she wants to break up, it may be tempting to say mean things, but try not to do this if you can. It doesn’t solve anything, and won’t make you feel better. If she has said that everything is OK, then tell her what has made you feel worried about it. | ||
| − | #*Make sure that you use “I” statements rather than “you” statements when you talk to your girlfriend. “I” statements are less likely to put your girlfriend on the defensive.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cui-bono/201211/are-i-statements-better-you-statements</ref> For example, your girlfriend might become defensive if you say, “You have been acting strange. You need to tell me what is going on.” Instead, you might say something like, “I have been feeling some distance between us lately and I was wondering if you felt that way too.” | + | #*Make sure that you use “I” statements rather than “you” statements when you talk to your girlfriend. “I” statements are less likely to put your girlfriend on the defensive.<ref name="rf7">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cui-bono/201211/are-i-statements-better-you-statements</ref> For example, your girlfriend might become defensive if you say, “You have been acting strange. You need to tell me what is going on.” Instead, you might say something like, “I have been feeling some distance between us lately and I was wondering if you felt that way too.” |
#*If she breaks up with you, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel you want to. You can get up and walk away, or just say, “OK, I understand.” If you want to, you can also tell her your feelings about the break up (e.g. that you’re sad about it, that you’re mad about it, or that you think she’s right, and that it’s a good idea). | #*If she breaks up with you, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel you want to. You can get up and walk away, or just say, “OK, I understand.” If you want to, you can also tell her your feelings about the break up (e.g. that you’re sad about it, that you’re mad about it, or that you think she’s right, and that it’s a good idea). | ||
| − | #Try not to get angry. Anger is a normal emotion, but it can be hard to control sometimes.<ref>http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx</ref> It can be easy to become defensive in a conversation where someone might break up with you. This is because being broken up with gives us a feeling of rejection. You will likely feel like you want to get angry in order to protect yourself from your own feelings, but getting angry is unlikely to help the situation. | + | #Try not to get angry. Anger is a normal emotion, but it can be hard to control sometimes.<ref name="rf8">http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx</ref> It can be easy to become defensive in a conversation where someone might break up with you. This is because being broken up with gives us a feeling of rejection. You will likely feel like you want to get angry in order to protect yourself from your own feelings, but getting angry is unlikely to help the situation. |
#*Try to focus on keeping your voice even and low, and your breathing even. | #*Try to focus on keeping your voice even and low, and your breathing even. | ||
#*If you feel like you can’t help but get angry, consider walking away from the conversation. Even if she says she wants to break up, and you feel like you hate her right now, walking away can help keep you from saying things you don’t mean or that you might regret later. | #*If you feel like you can’t help but get angry, consider walking away from the conversation. Even if she says she wants to break up, and you feel like you hate her right now, walking away can help keep you from saying things you don’t mean or that you might regret later. | ||
| − | #Accept the outcome of the conversation.<ref>http://www.personal.kent.edu/~dfresco/CBT_Readings/Hayes_Acceptance_chapter.pdf</ref> Whether the outcome of the conversation is that you no longer have a girlfriend, or whether it means you are still together, accept what she has said. If you break up, then it’s time to start dealing with the break up. If she says she’s happy and doesn’t want to break up, believe her. Don’t constantly question whether she wants to break up. This will be annoying, and it will make you seem insecure.[[Image:Cleanse-Yourself-of-Prejudices-and-Race-Based-Behaviors-Step-11.jpg| | + | #Accept the outcome of the conversation.<ref name="rf9">http://www.personal.kent.edu/~dfresco/CBT_Readings/Hayes_Acceptance_chapter.pdf</ref> Whether the outcome of the conversation is that you no longer have a girlfriend, or whether it means you are still together, accept what she has said. If you break up, then it’s time to start dealing with the break up. If she says she’s happy and doesn’t want to break up, believe her. Don’t constantly question whether she wants to break up. This will be annoying, and it will make you seem insecure.[[Image:Cleanse-Yourself-of-Prejudices-and-Race-Based-Behaviors-Step-11.jpg| |
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#*Write her a love letter. This is a simple one, but many people enjoy receiving love letters. This doesn’t mean you should be extra cheesy; a simple letter where you remind her of how much you care for her is sufficient. You might mention a good memory you have together and/or something you are looking forward to doing with her in the future. | #*Write her a love letter. This is a simple one, but many people enjoy receiving love letters. This doesn’t mean you should be extra cheesy; a simple letter where you remind her of how much you care for her is sufficient. You might mention a good memory you have together and/or something you are looking forward to doing with her in the future. | ||
#*Try to be more open and vulnerable. While it may feel more natural to put your guard up and stop sharing things with your girlfriend, this might make matters worse. Instead, try to open up to her a bit more. Tell her when you are having a bad day, be willing to share your fears, and allow her to see a softer side of you. | #*Try to be more open and vulnerable. While it may feel more natural to put your guard up and stop sharing things with your girlfriend, this might make matters worse. Instead, try to open up to her a bit more. Tell her when you are having a bad day, be willing to share your fears, and allow her to see a softer side of you. | ||
| − | #*Encourage your partner to be independent. Perhaps one of the reasons that your girlfriend became unhappy in the relationship was because she felt smothered or unable to be independent. Try to encourage your girlfriend to do the things that she wants to do rather than trying to keep her at arm’s length.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201501/6-ways-recreate-not-just-salvage-your-relationship</ref> For example, if your girlfriend wants to apply to a competitive college, offer to help her with the application. If your girlfriend wants to go on a trip somewhere, tell her she should go for it. | + | #*Encourage your partner to be independent. Perhaps one of the reasons that your girlfriend became unhappy in the relationship was because she felt smothered or unable to be independent. Try to encourage your girlfriend to do the things that she wants to do rather than trying to keep her at arm’s length.<ref name="rf10">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201501/6-ways-recreate-not-just-salvage-your-relationship</ref> For example, if your girlfriend wants to apply to a competitive college, offer to help her with the application. If your girlfriend wants to go on a trip somewhere, tell her she should go for it. |
#Let her go. It may not be what you want to do, but in some cases, it may be best to simply let her go. If it is very obvious to you that she is unhappy in your relationship, but afraid to take the plunge for one reason or another, be courageous and show her how much you care about her well-being by breaking it off yourself. | #Let her go. It may not be what you want to do, but in some cases, it may be best to simply let her go. If it is very obvious to you that she is unhappy in your relationship, but afraid to take the plunge for one reason or another, be courageous and show her how much you care about her well-being by breaking it off yourself. | ||
#*You can do this gently by being honest. Tell her that you can see she has been unhappy in your relationship for a while, and that you know she doesn’t want to hurt you, but it’s time to let the relationship go. | #*You can do this gently by being honest. Tell her that you can see she has been unhappy in your relationship for a while, and that you know she doesn’t want to hurt you, but it’s time to let the relationship go. | ||
#*It may not lessen the pain of breaking up any, but it will give you some control over the situation. You may even feel relieved after living in an unhappy relationship for some time. | #*It may not lessen the pain of breaking up any, but it will give you some control over the situation. You may even feel relieved after living in an unhappy relationship for some time. | ||
| − | #*When you break off the relationship with your girlfriend, it is also important to [[Let Go of Anger|let go of the anger]] that you feel towards her or about the relationship. Hanging onto your anger and resentments will only harm you.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-dance-connection/201503/unforgettable-zen-story-about-letting-go</ref> | + | #*When you break off the relationship with your girlfriend, it is also important to [[Let Go of Anger|let go of the anger]] that you feel towards her or about the relationship. Hanging onto your anger and resentments will only harm you.<ref name="rf11">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-dance-connection/201503/unforgettable-zen-story-about-letting-go</ref> |
#Give yourself time. In order to get over a relationship, you need time. If you are sad about the loss of your relationship, try to remember that in time you will feel get over your sadness. There are many other things you can do to help yourself feel a little bit better, but ultimately, you’re going to need time to get over it. | #Give yourself time. In order to get over a relationship, you need time. If you are sad about the loss of your relationship, try to remember that in time you will feel get over your sadness. There are many other things you can do to help yourself feel a little bit better, but ultimately, you’re going to need time to get over it. | ||
#*There is no set amount of time, however. It may be days, weeks, or months. Try to look at each new day as a step in the right direction. | #*There is no set amount of time, however. It may be days, weeks, or months. Try to look at each new day as a step in the right direction. | ||
| − | #Cut off all contact. It can be tempting in the early stages of a breakup to try to call, email, or text her. However, doing so will only prolong your pain.<ref>http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/ImmediateAftermath</ref> Delete her number if you have to and delete her from all of your social media accounts. | + | #Cut off all contact. It can be tempting in the early stages of a breakup to try to call, email, or text her. However, doing so will only prolong your pain.<ref name="rf12">http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/ImmediateAftermath</ref> Delete her number if you have to and delete her from all of your social media accounts. |
#*If she tries to contact you, ignore the call or text. If she sends an email, delete it without reading it. | #*If she tries to contact you, ignore the call or text. If she sends an email, delete it without reading it. | ||
#*This doesn’t mean that you can never, ever talk to her again. However, you will likely regret anything you say in the aftermath of a breakup, and it won’t make you feel any better anyways. | #*This doesn’t mean that you can never, ever talk to her again. However, you will likely regret anything you say in the aftermath of a breakup, and it won’t make you feel any better anyways. | ||
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#*If you think you’ll be tempted to reminisce over these objects then just get rid of them, or at least ask a friend if they can hold onto the items for awhile. | #*If you think you’ll be tempted to reminisce over these objects then just get rid of them, or at least ask a friend if they can hold onto the items for awhile. | ||
#Stay active. While it is alright to give yourself an evening to cry and be sad about the breakup, after that, try to keep active. Make plans with friends to do things that you enjoy. Try attending a social event where you can make new friends. You won’t spend so much time dwelling on the loss of your girlfriend if you are out doing something fun with people you enjoy being around. | #Stay active. While it is alright to give yourself an evening to cry and be sad about the breakup, after that, try to keep active. Make plans with friends to do things that you enjoy. Try attending a social event where you can make new friends. You won’t spend so much time dwelling on the loss of your girlfriend if you are out doing something fun with people you enjoy being around. | ||
| − | #*You should also try to stay physically active. There is plenty of evidence that physical activity makes you feel good, both physically and mentally.<ref>http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-exercise-make-us-feel-good/</ref> It can be tempting after a breakup to lay around and mope, but try to challenge yourself to get out for a walk or a run. If you enjoy team sports, join a team. | + | #*You should also try to stay physically active. There is plenty of evidence that physical activity makes you feel good, both physically and mentally.<ref name="rf13">http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-exercise-make-us-feel-good/</ref> It can be tempting after a breakup to lay around and mope, but try to challenge yourself to get out for a walk or a run. If you enjoy team sports, join a team. |
#Be constructive. Although it is sad that the relationship is over, you can still try to learn from it. Spend time reflecting on the relationship as honestly as you can. It’s likely that she did many things wrong in the relationship, but you probably did too. Rather than dwelling on her faults, try to think about what you could have done better. | #Be constructive. Although it is sad that the relationship is over, you can still try to learn from it. Spend time reflecting on the relationship as honestly as you can. It’s likely that she did many things wrong in the relationship, but you probably did too. Rather than dwelling on her faults, try to think about what you could have done better. | ||
#*For example, maybe you can try to be more communicative in future relationships so that future girlfriends are more willing to talk with you when something is bothering them. If, in your last relationship, you tended to get angry and defensive when she tried to talk about a problem, maybe you can practice being open and [[Be Calm in a Stressful Situation|calm]] in the face of problems. | #*For example, maybe you can try to be more communicative in future relationships so that future girlfriends are more willing to talk with you when something is bothering them. If, in your last relationship, you tended to get angry and defensive when she tried to talk about a problem, maybe you can practice being open and [[Be Calm in a Stressful Situation|calm]] in the face of problems. | ||
