Difference between revisions of "Know when You Are Grown Up"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Analyzing Your Relationships=== | ===Analyzing Your Relationships=== | ||
| − | #Measure the quality of your relationships. Friendships take more effort to maintain as you age. You may find your social networks becoming wider, yet you may not have as many close, tight-knit relationships.<ref>http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/</ref> You may have a few friends you’ve known all your life as well as some dedicated new friends from different points in your life. Look at how long your current relationships have lasted — both romantic and non-romantic. | + | #Measure the quality of your relationships. Friendships take more effort to maintain as you age. You may find your social networks becoming wider, yet you may not have as many close, tight-knit relationships.<ref name="rf1">http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/</ref> You may have a few friends you’ve known all your life as well as some dedicated new friends from different points in your life. Look at how long your current relationships have lasted — both romantic and non-romantic. |
#*Have you been able to maintain quality relationships for a long time? | #*Have you been able to maintain quality relationships for a long time? | ||
#*Are you able to get through difficult periods and keep your friends around? | #*Are you able to get through difficult periods and keep your friends around? | ||
#*Have you had long-term, stable romantic partnerships? | #*Have you had long-term, stable romantic partnerships? | ||
#*If you said yes to any of these questions, you may be managing grown-up relationships. | #*If you said yes to any of these questions, you may be managing grown-up relationships. | ||
| − | #Reflect on your conflict resolution skills. Even the most mature adults get into arguments. How you handle the argument is more telling than what started it. Grown-ups know how to respect each other’s differences. They remain calm during tense situations. They can agree to disagree or compromise to find a solution. They also know when to apologize and forgive without holding grudges.<ref> http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf</ref> | + | #Reflect on your conflict resolution skills. Even the most mature adults get into arguments. How you handle the argument is more telling than what started it. Grown-ups know how to respect each other’s differences. They remain calm during tense situations. They can agree to disagree or compromise to find a solution. They also know when to apologize and forgive without holding grudges.<ref name="rf2"> http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf</ref> |
#Think about what you look for in a romantic relationship. When you're young and immature, it's all about the chemistry and fireworks. As you grow older, you may look for a partner who is as much compatible as they are exciting. Ask yourself the following questions. If you answer yes, you may be involved in a mature relationship. | #Think about what you look for in a romantic relationship. When you're young and immature, it's all about the chemistry and fireworks. As you grow older, you may look for a partner who is as much compatible as they are exciting. Ask yourself the following questions. If you answer yes, you may be involved in a mature relationship. | ||
#*Do you and your partner work through your problems? Do you apologize to one another? Can you forgive each other during arguments? | #*Do you and your partner work through your problems? Do you apologize to one another? Can you forgive each other during arguments? | ||
#*Do you and your partner make compromises? Do you accommodate their needs? Do they accommodate yours? | #*Do you and your partner make compromises? Do you accommodate their needs? Do they accommodate yours? | ||
| − | #*Do you and your partner respect each other’s boundaries? Are you both able to have separate social lives, hobbies, interests, and jobs without becoming jealous or controlling?<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201205/how-grow</ref> | + | #*Do you and your partner respect each other’s boundaries? Are you both able to have separate social lives, hobbies, interests, and jobs without becoming jealous or controlling?<ref name="rf3"> https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201205/how-grow</ref> |
#Imagine your perfect social gathering. Where does it take place? How many people are there? What are you doing? When you were younger, you may have wanted loud, crowded parties at clubs or bars. As you grow older, you may find yourself seeking quieter time with your friends. Sometimes, you might still want that big party. Generally, however, you may find that hosting dinner and game night at your home is more entertaining. | #Imagine your perfect social gathering. Where does it take place? How many people are there? What are you doing? When you were younger, you may have wanted loud, crowded parties at clubs or bars. As you grow older, you may find yourself seeking quieter time with your friends. Sometimes, you might still want that big party. Generally, however, you may find that hosting dinner and game night at your home is more entertaining. | ||
#Consider how you relate to children. As you grow up, you begin to separate yourself more and more from the younger generation. You may dislike their taste in music, clothes, or entertainment. You may find yourself disapproving of their choices in life. You may think that they are badly behaved compared to your generation. You may also might appreciate their innocence, play, humor, and freedom from responsibility that is often lost in adulthood. This shows that you are creating a difference between yourself, as an adult, and children. | #Consider how you relate to children. As you grow up, you begin to separate yourself more and more from the younger generation. You may dislike their taste in music, clothes, or entertainment. You may find yourself disapproving of their choices in life. You may think that they are badly behaved compared to your generation. You may also might appreciate their innocence, play, humor, and freedom from responsibility that is often lost in adulthood. This shows that you are creating a difference between yourself, as an adult, and children. | ||
| − | #*If you have children, you may start worrying about their future. Children often force people to grow up quickly, no matter how old they are. You may be more aware of how your decisions affect their life, their behavior, and their future. Your decisions will start to include their welfare as well as your own.<ref>http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/01/when-are-you-really-an-adult/422487/</ref> | + | #*If you have children, you may start worrying about their future. Children often force people to grow up quickly, no matter how old they are. You may be more aware of how your decisions affect their life, their behavior, and their future. Your decisions will start to include their welfare as well as your own.<ref name="rf4">http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/01/when-are-you-really-an-adult/422487/</ref> |
===Managing Your Responsibilities=== | ===Managing Your Responsibilities=== | ||
| − | #Create a list of your obligations and responsibilities. Being a grown-up is not just about having responsibilities; it’s about fulfilling your obligations and promises in a timely manner, too.<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/artificial-maturity/201211/the-marks-maturity </ref> Think about all the things you are responsible for. Do you accomplish tasks quickly and without being reminded? Some common grown-up responsibilities include: | + | #Create a list of your obligations and responsibilities. Being a grown-up is not just about having responsibilities; it’s about fulfilling your obligations and promises in a timely manner, too.<ref name="rf5"> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/artificial-maturity/201211/the-marks-maturity </ref> Think about all the things you are responsible for. Do you accomplish tasks quickly and without being reminded? Some common grown-up responsibilities include: |
#*Taking care of children | #*Taking care of children | ||
#*Caring for elderly parents | #*Caring for elderly parents | ||
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#Analyze your living situation. Living independently is often a goal of adulthood. Being able to clean, fix, and manage your own home is a sign that your personal life is in order. Look around your home, and consider the following: | #Analyze your living situation. Living independently is often a goal of adulthood. Being able to clean, fix, and manage your own home is a sign that your personal life is in order. Look around your home, and consider the following: | ||
#*How clean is your home? Tidiness is often a sign of maturity. You may start washing your dishes immediately after dinner, or you may start to dust once a week. | #*How clean is your home? Tidiness is often a sign of maturity. You may start washing your dishes immediately after dinner, or you may start to dust once a week. | ||
| − | #*Who do you live with? Living alone may indicate that you are independent. Living with roommates and significant others shows that you can maturely share a space with others. Living with your parents might be a sign that you haven’t quite transitioned into adulthood, or it may mean that you need some time to achieve financial independence.<ref>http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/</ref> | + | #*Who do you live with? Living alone may indicate that you are independent. Living with roommates and significant others shows that you can maturely share a space with others. Living with your parents might be a sign that you haven’t quite transitioned into adulthood, or it may mean that you need some time to achieve financial independence.<ref name="rf6">http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/</ref> |
#*Who fixes your home? If something breaks, taking care of it yourself is a major sign of responsibility. If the problem is outside of your ability, you should be able to call a professional in a timely manner, instead of waiting until the problem worsens. | #*Who fixes your home? If something breaks, taking care of it yourself is a major sign of responsibility. If the problem is outside of your ability, you should be able to call a professional in a timely manner, instead of waiting until the problem worsens. | ||
#Ask yourself who depends on you. Being grown-up isn’t just about taking care of yourself. It also involves taking care of others. You may have many people who rely on you for certain things. Being dependable is a strong sign of maturity. Answering yes to any of the following questions means that you have grown-up responsibilities. | #Ask yourself who depends on you. Being grown-up isn’t just about taking care of yourself. It also involves taking care of others. You may have many people who rely on you for certain things. Being dependable is a strong sign of maturity. Answering yes to any of the following questions means that you have grown-up responsibilities. | ||
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#*Do you take care of any family members? Do you have children? Do you have pets? Is anyone in your family sick or disabled? | #*Do you take care of any family members? Do you have children? Do you have pets? Is anyone in your family sick or disabled? | ||
#*Do you help your friends out when they are in need? Are you in charge of certain group activities? | #*Do you help your friends out when they are in need? Are you in charge of certain group activities? | ||
| − | #Consider your financial stability. Many people use financial stability as the ultimate mark of an independent adult. This can be difficult for some people, and many young adults must rely on some sort of aid from their parents.<ref | + | #Consider your financial stability. Many people use financial stability as the ultimate mark of an independent adult. This can be difficult for some people, and many young adults must rely on some sort of aid from their parents.<ref name="rf4" /> Look over your finances. Consider how well you manage them. Ask yourself the following questions. If you say yes to many of these questions, you are probably at least somewhat financially independent. |
#*Do you pay taxes? | #*Do you pay taxes? | ||
#*Do you pay rent or a mortgage? Do you pay on time? | #*Do you pay rent or a mortgage? Do you pay on time? | ||
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===Assessing Your Mindset and Habits=== | ===Assessing Your Mindset and Habits=== | ||
| − | #Think about the future. Where do you see yourself five years down the line? Ten? Do you have a plan, or are you still waiting for things to just happen? When you're a kid, your mindset is in the here and now. Maybe you think about what's going to happen tomorrow or this summer. You know you're a grown-up when you think seriously about your life many years down the line. You might want to take action to influence your future life. You may look more for stability instead of adventure.<ref>http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-know-if-youre-an-adult-2015-10</ref> This can manifest in a few different ways: | + | #Think about the future. Where do you see yourself five years down the line? Ten? Do you have a plan, or are you still waiting for things to just happen? When you're a kid, your mindset is in the here and now. Maybe you think about what's going to happen tomorrow or this summer. You know you're a grown-up when you think seriously about your life many years down the line. You might want to take action to influence your future life. You may look more for stability instead of adventure.<ref name="rf7">http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-know-if-youre-an-adult-2015-10</ref> This can manifest in a few different ways: |
#*You invest in a retirement fund. | #*You invest in a retirement fund. | ||
#*You purchase more expensive but sturdier products that will last you for years instead of cheap goods that you plan to throw out. | #*You purchase more expensive but sturdier products that will last you for years instead of cheap goods that you plan to throw out. | ||
#*You’re planning to have children. If you have children already, you’re planning for their futures as well as your own. | #*You’re planning to have children. If you have children already, you’re planning for their futures as well as your own. | ||
| − | #Consider how important your health is to you. The more mature you become, the more you realize how your decisions can impact your health. You start thinking about the long-term effects of your diet and exercise regime. You may even start working out more to keep a youthful figure. You might worry about dying.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/201308/how-become-more-adult-and-successful-in-your-life</ref> Reflect on your health habits. | + | #Consider how important your health is to you. The more mature you become, the more you realize how your decisions can impact your health. You start thinking about the long-term effects of your diet and exercise regime. You may even start working out more to keep a youthful figure. You might worry about dying.<ref name="rf8">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/201308/how-become-more-adult-and-successful-in-your-life</ref> Reflect on your health habits. |
#*Do you worry about joint pain or flexibility? | #*Do you worry about joint pain or flexibility? | ||
#*Do you exercise so that you can live longer? | #*Do you exercise so that you can live longer? | ||
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#*Not being able to fall asleep without brushing your teeth | #*Not being able to fall asleep without brushing your teeth | ||
#*Eating dinner at the same time every day | #*Eating dinner at the same time every day | ||
| − | #Reflect on your nostalgia. Adults often love to reminisce about their past. If you find yourself daydreaming about your youthful glory days, you may be experiencing one of the key markers of adulthood.<ref>http://reporter.rit.edu/features/science-nostalgia</ref> While you can remember the old days fondly, try to have fun in the moment, too. Perhaps in ten or twenty years, you will consider ''this'' period of your life to be the best. | + | #Reflect on your nostalgia. Adults often love to reminisce about their past. If you find yourself daydreaming about your youthful glory days, you may be experiencing one of the key markers of adulthood.<ref name="rf9">http://reporter.rit.edu/features/science-nostalgia</ref> While you can remember the old days fondly, try to have fun in the moment, too. Perhaps in ten or twenty years, you will consider ''this'' period of your life to be the best. |
#Track your awareness of current events. You may find yourself more concerned with current events than you used to be. Perhaps you read or watch the news more often than you used to. You may find yourself more politically active. You might be worried with how global markets or disasters affect your lifestyle. You might also be more persuaded to donate to charities. These are all signs of a mature interest in world events and causes. | #Track your awareness of current events. You may find yourself more concerned with current events than you used to be. Perhaps you read or watch the news more often than you used to. You may find yourself more politically active. You might be worried with how global markets or disasters affect your lifestyle. You might also be more persuaded to donate to charities. These are all signs of a mature interest in world events and causes. | ||
| − | #Record how much sleep you get. Recall a time when sleeping for ten hours straight was a treat. If it’s now impossible, you're probably growing up. Older people need less sleep.<ref>http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080724123255.htm</ref> They will often use the extra time to take care of their responsibilities. You may find yourself waking up earlier, or you may not take as many naps as you used to. Getting up early to do extra chores may not bother you as much anymore. | + | #Record how much sleep you get. Recall a time when sleeping for ten hours straight was a treat. If it’s now impossible, you're probably growing up. Older people need less sleep.<ref name="rf10">http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080724123255.htm</ref> They will often use the extra time to take care of their responsibilities. You may find yourself waking up earlier, or you may not take as many naps as you used to. Getting up early to do extra chores may not bother you as much anymore. |
== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
