Difference between revisions of "Know when She Just Isn't Interested in You"
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It can be hard to navigate the world of flirtation and dating--trying to determine if a girl is shy, or playing hard to get, or if she's just not interested can be pretty confusing. While it's important to remember that no two girls are the same, and therefore might express their interest in different ways, there are some signs you can look for that suggest she's not feeling it. | It can be hard to navigate the world of flirtation and dating--trying to determine if a girl is shy, or playing hard to get, or if she's just not interested can be pretty confusing. While it's important to remember that no two girls are the same, and therefore might express their interest in different ways, there are some signs you can look for that suggest she's not feeling it. | ||
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Noticing How She Acts=== | ===Noticing How She Acts=== | ||
| − | #Try to read her body language when you're together. People are usually very aware of their facial expressions, but they don't necessarily realize that their bodies are sending pretty loud messages, too. She may be giving you hints that she's not interested in the way she positions her body.<ref>http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html</ref> | + | #Try to read her body language when you're together. People are usually very aware of their facial expressions, but they don't necessarily realize that their bodies are sending pretty loud messages, too. She may be giving you hints that she's not interested in the way she positions her body.<ref name="rf1">http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html</ref> |
| − | #*If she turns her body away from you, or leans back or away from you, it's a sign she may be uncomfortable.<ref> http://datingtips.match.com/tell-girl-isnt-13197139.html</ref> | + | #*If she turns her body away from you, or leans back or away from you, it's a sign she may be uncomfortable.<ref name="rf2"> http://datingtips.match.com/tell-girl-isnt-13197139.html</ref> |
| − | #*She keeps a barrier between you. If she always positions herself behind a chair or a table or holds her purse or backpack in front of her like a shield, she might not be interested in you.<ref>http://datingtips.match.com/tell-girl-isnt-13197139.html</ref> | + | #*She keeps a barrier between you. If she always positions herself behind a chair or a table or holds her purse or backpack in front of her like a shield, she might not be interested in you.<ref name="rf3">http://datingtips.match.com/tell-girl-isnt-13197139.html</ref> |
#*If she walks away when she sees you or appears to be avoiding you, she is not interested and you should not try to follow. | #*If she walks away when she sees you or appears to be avoiding you, she is not interested and you should not try to follow. | ||
| − | #Check if she avoids making eye contact with you. Making eye contact can actually be quite intimate, and some girls may look down or away because they are shy. But if you find that her eyes are always darting around when you talk to her, as though she's looking for her friends, she not really feeling the conversation and you should politely excuse yourself.<ref>http://www.lovepanky.com/men/essentials-for-men/12-telltale-signs-shes-just-not-that-into-you</ref> | + | #Check if she avoids making eye contact with you. Making eye contact can actually be quite intimate, and some girls may look down or away because they are shy. But if you find that her eyes are always darting around when you talk to her, as though she's looking for her friends, she not really feeling the conversation and you should politely excuse yourself.<ref name="rf4">http://www.lovepanky.com/men/essentials-for-men/12-telltale-signs-shes-just-not-that-into-you</ref> |
#*Remember that one conversation during which she seems distracted or isn't looking at you doesn't mean she doesn't like you. But if it seems to happen every single time you try to talk to her, something is up. | #*Remember that one conversation during which she seems distracted or isn't looking at you doesn't mean she doesn't like you. But if it seems to happen every single time you try to talk to her, something is up. | ||
| − | #See if she treats you different when it's just the two of you versus when you're in public. She's flirty and talkative during class or when you have a shift together at work. Then you run into her when she's out with her friends, and she looks right through you. If there's a huge gap between how she treats you in private and in front of her friends, she might just be flirting with you out of convenience.<ref>http://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/18-clear-signs-youre-in-a-girls-friend-zone</ref> | + | #See if she treats you different when it's just the two of you versus when you're in public. She's flirty and talkative during class or when you have a shift together at work. Then you run into her when she's out with her friends, and she looks right through you. If there's a huge gap between how she treats you in private and in front of her friends, she might just be flirting with you out of convenience.<ref name="rf5">http://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/18-clear-signs-youre-in-a-girls-friend-zone</ref> |
#*She might also be too self-conscious or shy to say hello to you in front of all of her friends. Are her friends are constantly glancing at you, even if she's not? It might mean she's talked about you to her friends. | #*She might also be too self-conscious or shy to say hello to you in front of all of her friends. Are her friends are constantly glancing at you, even if she's not? It might mean she's talked about you to her friends. | ||
#*Try making the first move and see how she reacts. Say hello when you see her out in public. If she seems embarrassed, is rude, or flat out ignores you, then you can be pretty sure she's not interested. | #*Try making the first move and see how she reacts. Say hello when you see her out in public. If she seems embarrassed, is rude, or flat out ignores you, then you can be pretty sure she's not interested. | ||
| − | #Watch her reaction when you tell a funny story. Even if it's not ''that'' funny, a girl will usually laugh when a guy she likes makes a joke. Keep in mind, this is something most friends do, too, so it doesn't automatically mean she's into you. But if she doesn't even giggle at your funniest stories, you might need to find someone else who appreciates your humor.<ref | + | #Watch her reaction when you tell a funny story. Even if it's not ''that'' funny, a girl will usually laugh when a guy she likes makes a joke. Keep in mind, this is something most friends do, too, so it doesn't automatically mean she's into you. But if she doesn't even giggle at your funniest stories, you might need to find someone else who appreciates your humor.<ref name="rf5" /> |
#*If she doesn't crack a smile at your joke, it could be because she's having a bad day (or it was a terrible joke). But if your jokes are met with silence day after day, then it's time to move on. | #*If she doesn't crack a smile at your joke, it could be because she's having a bad day (or it was a terrible joke). But if your jokes are met with silence day after day, then it's time to move on. | ||
| − | #Notice if your dates always turn into group hangouts. If you ask her to the movies and she shows up with three friends, it might be a miscommunication. But if it happens every time you invite her to do something, it might be her way of letting you know she just wants to be your friend.<ref | + | #Notice if your dates always turn into group hangouts. If you ask her to the movies and she shows up with three friends, it might be a miscommunication. But if it happens every time you invite her to do something, it might be her way of letting you know she just wants to be your friend.<ref name="rf5" /> |
#*Keep in mind some girls are not allowed to date until a certain age, and she may need her friends to tag along so her parents will let her hang out with you. But she should definitely let you know ahead of time that this won't be a solo hang. | #*Keep in mind some girls are not allowed to date until a certain age, and she may need her friends to tag along so her parents will let her hang out with you. But she should definitely let you know ahead of time that this won't be a solo hang. | ||
===Listening to What She Says=== | ===Listening to What She Says=== | ||
| − | #Be aware if she only talks to you when she needs something. If you only hear from her when she needs help with her homework or a project, or she needs a ride somewhere, but she doesn't have time to talk to you or she's always too busy to hang out, she might be manipulating you and not truly interested in you.<ref | + | #Be aware if she only talks to you when she needs something. If you only hear from her when she needs help with her homework or a project, or she needs a ride somewhere, but she doesn't have time to talk to you or she's always too busy to hang out, she might be manipulating you and not truly interested in you.<ref name="rf4" /> |
#*Relationships go two ways--one person should not always be giving or doing things for the other person and get nothing in return. | #*Relationships go two ways--one person should not always be giving or doing things for the other person and get nothing in return. | ||
| − | #Take the hint if she says you are like her brother. While this means you two are close and she has genuine affection for you, it's unlikely she sees you as anything beyond a good friend. Saying you think of someone as a sibling is basically removing any romantic possibilities from the equation.<ref | + | #Take the hint if she says you are like her brother. While this means you two are close and she has genuine affection for you, it's unlikely she sees you as anything beyond a good friend. Saying you think of someone as a sibling is basically removing any romantic possibilities from the equation.<ref name="rf5" /> |
#*Even if there's not a chance for romance, a girl who describes you this way definitely values your presence in her life. | #*Even if there's not a chance for romance, a girl who describes you this way definitely values your presence in her life. | ||
| − | #Pay attention to how often she asks you questions about yourself and how much she talks about herself. If you can hardly get a word in because she's talking about what she was doing last weekend, her plans for winter break, then gossiping about her friend, and she has yet to ask about ''your'' weekend, she's probably more into herself than she's into you.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/irene-s-levine/shes-just-not-that-into-y_b_165609.html</ref> | + | #Pay attention to how often she asks you questions about yourself and how much she talks about herself. If you can hardly get a word in because she's talking about what she was doing last weekend, her plans for winter break, then gossiping about her friend, and she has yet to ask about ''your'' weekend, she's probably more into herself than she's into you.<ref name="rf6">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/irene-s-levine/shes-just-not-that-into-y_b_165609.html</ref> |
#*If you know all the details of her life but she struggles to remember even the most basic things about you, she's likely not interested in you, but she's probably not a very good friend, either. | #*If you know all the details of her life but she struggles to remember even the most basic things about you, she's likely not interested in you, but she's probably not a very good friend, either. | ||
#*If she doesn't ask you a lot questions about yourself but she already seems to know a lot about you, then she's probably interested in you. It's likely she's been asking her friends about you and paying attention to the sports or clubs you are involved in. Try telling her something surprising about yourself and see how she reacts. | #*If she doesn't ask you a lot questions about yourself but she already seems to know a lot about you, then she's probably interested in you. It's likely she's been asking her friends about you and paying attention to the sports or clubs you are involved in. Try telling her something surprising about yourself and see how she reacts. | ||
