Difference between revisions of "Know if Someone Is Lying in a Text"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
=== Finding the Obvious Signs === | === Finding the Obvious Signs === | ||
| − | #See if it takes the person longer to respond. One study found that people take 10 percent more time to respond to a question over text if they are lying. This is natural, of course—they need more time to come up with a believable answer. This can be especially obvious if you’ve been having a rapid back-and-forth conversation and suddenly it’s taking forever for the person to respond.<ref>http://news.byu.edu/archive13-sep-lyingchats.aspx</ref> | + | #See if it takes the person longer to respond. One study found that people take 10 percent more time to respond to a question over text if they are lying. This is natural, of course—they need more time to come up with a believable answer. This can be especially obvious if you’ve been having a rapid back-and-forth conversation and suddenly it’s taking forever for the person to respond.<ref name="rf1">http://news.byu.edu/archive13-sep-lyingchats.aspx</ref> |
#*If you have the iPhone and can see the ellipses (“...”) at the other end of the text exchange, indicating that it’s taking your texting partner forever to craft the perfect response, then this can be a red flag. | #*If you have the iPhone and can see the ellipses (“...”) at the other end of the text exchange, indicating that it’s taking your texting partner forever to craft the perfect response, then this can be a red flag. | ||
#*Just remember that, just because it takes a person a longer time to respond, it doesn’t guarantee that the person is lying. If the person really likes you, it can just take him longer to respond because he wants to sound impressive. Of course, it’s also possible—though less likely—that the person got held up just when you asked an important question. | #*Just remember that, just because it takes a person a longer time to respond, it doesn’t guarantee that the person is lying. If the person really likes you, it can just take him longer to respond because he wants to sound impressive. Of course, it’s also possible—though less likely—that the person got held up just when you asked an important question. | ||
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#*Of course, if the person is normally sweet to you, then it may not mean anything out of the ordinary. But if he suddenly tells you all of the sweet things you’ve always wanted to hear, then something may be up. | #*Of course, if the person is normally sweet to you, then it may not mean anything out of the ordinary. But if he suddenly tells you all of the sweet things you’ve always wanted to hear, then something may be up. | ||
#*If the person who is lying doesn’t have a romantic relationship with you, then he or she may still jump to give you a quick compliment or some positive reinforcement to take your mind off the lie. | #*If the person who is lying doesn’t have a romantic relationship with you, then he or she may still jump to give you a quick compliment or some positive reinforcement to take your mind off the lie. | ||
| − | #Look for emphatic language. Though emphatic language doesn’t mean that the person is lying, if the person isn’t usually too emotional or emphatic in his texts and all of a sudden he is very emphatic, then it may be because he is really desperate for you to believe him because he’s lying. This is as true for lying girlfriends as it is for mail order bride scams.<ref>http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304652804579571902317664802</ref> | + | #Look for emphatic language. Though emphatic language doesn’t mean that the person is lying, if the person isn’t usually too emotional or emphatic in his texts and all of a sudden he is very emphatic, then it may be because he is really desperate for you to believe him because he’s lying. This is as true for lying girlfriends as it is for mail order bride scams.<ref name="rf2">http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304652804579571902317664802</ref> |
#*If your girlfriend says something like, “I really, really missed you last night. Though I was out with the girls, I really wish you could have been there,” then she might be trying a bit too hard because she’s not telling the truth. | #*If your girlfriend says something like, “I really, really missed you last night. Though I was out with the girls, I really wish you could have been there,” then she might be trying a bit too hard because she’s not telling the truth. | ||
#Trust your gut. Though there’s no way to know if someone is lying 100% unless you find proof or ask and get the truth, you can certainly listen to what your heart and gut are telling you. If you just sense that something is up and know that you’re not getting all of the right answers, then chances are that the person you care about is lying to you. If it’s a big deal and you feel betrayed, then the only way to clear the air is to ask and get the truth. | #Trust your gut. Though there’s no way to know if someone is lying 100% unless you find proof or ask and get the truth, you can certainly listen to what your heart and gut are telling you. If you just sense that something is up and know that you’re not getting all of the right answers, then chances are that the person you care about is lying to you. If it’s a big deal and you feel betrayed, then the only way to clear the air is to ask and get the truth. | ||
| − | #*Unfortunately, one study shows that people can only tell if others are lying 54% of the time, which makes the chances that you can tell if someone is lying to you not much better than a coin flip. Still, your instincts should be leading you in the right direction, especially if the person in question is a repeat offender.<ref | + | #*Unfortunately, one study shows that people can only tell if others are lying 54% of the time, which makes the chances that you can tell if someone is lying to you not much better than a coin flip. Still, your instincts should be leading you in the right direction, especially if the person in question is a repeat offender.<ref name="rf1" /> |
=== Searching for More Subtle Signs === | === Searching for More Subtle Signs === | ||
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#*“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but…” | #*“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but…” | ||
#*“Actually, it was really more like…” | #*“Actually, it was really more like…” | ||
| − | #See if the person gives vague or non-committal answers. Another way to spot a liar is to see if the person refuses to really pin down his or her story and keeps giving you vague answers that could get him off the hook more easily. If the person isn’t confident about what happened last night or in whatever answer he is giving you, then it’s likely that this is because he’s not telling the whole truth. Here are some phrases to watch out for:<ref>http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-lying-to-you-online-or-in-a-text/story-fnjwmwrh-1226924877984</ref> | + | #See if the person gives vague or non-committal answers. Another way to spot a liar is to see if the person refuses to really pin down his or her story and keeps giving you vague answers that could get him off the hook more easily. If the person isn’t confident about what happened last night or in whatever answer he is giving you, then it’s likely that this is because he’s not telling the whole truth. Here are some phrases to watch out for:<ref name="rf3">http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-lying-to-you-online-or-in-a-text/story-fnjwmwrh-1226924877984</ref> |
#*“It must have been around midnight when…” | #*“It must have been around midnight when…” | ||
#*“Maybe it was because…” | #*“Maybe it was because…” | ||
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#See if the person doesn’t quite sound like himself. You know what it’s like to text with this person. If he’s normally a guy who is pretty casual with his texts, or if you’re talking to a girl who writes perfect, error free text messages, and suddenly you feel like the text is almost coming from a different person, then the person may be lying. The person may not sound like himself because he’s too busy trying to craft the perfect answer; what’s worse, this may even be the case because he’s with someone who is telling him what to say. | #See if the person doesn’t quite sound like himself. You know what it’s like to text with this person. If he’s normally a guy who is pretty casual with his texts, or if you’re talking to a girl who writes perfect, error free text messages, and suddenly you feel like the text is almost coming from a different person, then the person may be lying. The person may not sound like himself because he’s too busy trying to craft the perfect answer; what’s worse, this may even be the case because he’s with someone who is telling him what to say. | ||
#*Scroll through your past texts with this person. Does it sound like the same person is texting you, or like their phone has been abducted by aliens? Even if you can’t pinpoint why, if the text just feels different for some reason, then you’ll know. | #*Scroll through your past texts with this person. Does it sound like the same person is texting you, or like their phone has been abducted by aliens? Even if you can’t pinpoint why, if the text just feels different for some reason, then you’ll know. | ||
| − | #See if the person is tense hopping. Tense hopping, or jumping between the past and present tense, is another sign that the person is lying to you. If a person does this, then it means they may be lying because they're so busy crafting a story in his head that he forgets that it happened in the past tense, not the present. If the person you’re talking to normally doesn’t tense hop and suddenly his tenses are all over the place after you think you may have caught him in a lie, then this can be a red flag.<ref | + | #See if the person is tense hopping. Tense hopping, or jumping between the past and present tense, is another sign that the person is lying to you. If a person does this, then it means they may be lying because they're so busy crafting a story in his head that he forgets that it happened in the past tense, not the present. If the person you’re talking to normally doesn’t tense hop and suddenly his tenses are all over the place after you think you may have caught him in a lie, then this can be a red flag.<ref name="rf3" /> |
#*Look out for when someone speaks like this: “Last night, I went out with the boys for a few drinks. But I only had a few beers. Then I’m going home before midnight…” | #*Look out for when someone speaks like this: “Last night, I went out with the boys for a few drinks. But I only had a few beers. Then I’m going home before midnight…” | ||
#*People can tense hop when they’re lying because once they start fabricating the story in their heads, it may naturally switch to the present tense. | #*People can tense hop when they’re lying because once they start fabricating the story in their heads, it may naturally switch to the present tense. | ||
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#See if the person’s response is unusually polished. If the person you’re texting normally doesn’t try to have perfectly crafted, grammatically correct sentences, and all of a sudden the response you get from him could have come out of your English textbook, then this is a sign that he’s trying too hard to seem like he’s telling the truth. Of course, if the person usually talks like this, then it doesn’t mean anything. | #See if the person’s response is unusually polished. If the person you’re texting normally doesn’t try to have perfectly crafted, grammatically correct sentences, and all of a sudden the response you get from him could have come out of your English textbook, then this is a sign that he’s trying too hard to seem like he’s telling the truth. Of course, if the person usually talks like this, then it doesn’t mean anything. | ||
#*If the person usually uses lots of abbreviations, doesn’t always use punctuation or capitalized letters, or just generally is a sloppy texter, then he may be lying if he suddenly sends you four perfect, grammatically sound sentences. | #*If the person usually uses lots of abbreviations, doesn’t always use punctuation or capitalized letters, or just generally is a sloppy texter, then he may be lying if he suddenly sends you four perfect, grammatically sound sentences. | ||
| − | #See if the person removes personal pronouns. Another sign that the person is lying is if he or she removes all personal pronouns when he explains what happened or gives you an answer. This is a way of taking away accountability and making it seem as if the situation just “happened” to that person, as if there wasn’t anyone to blame. In general, using the passive voice out of the blue can indicate that something is up.<ref>http://lifehacker.com/catch-a-lie-in-an-email-or-text-message-by-looking-for-1579051180</ref> | + | #See if the person removes personal pronouns. Another sign that the person is lying is if he or she removes all personal pronouns when he explains what happened or gives you an answer. This is a way of taking away accountability and making it seem as if the situation just “happened” to that person, as if there wasn’t anyone to blame. In general, using the passive voice out of the blue can indicate that something is up.<ref name="rf4">http://lifehacker.com/catch-a-lie-in-an-email-or-text-message-by-looking-for-1579051180</ref> |
#*If a person is telling the truth, he’s more likely to say, “I was out late with the boys. Eventually we called a taxi to get home. I didn’t even realize it was so late.” | #*If a person is telling the truth, he’s more likely to say, “I was out late with the boys. Eventually we called a taxi to get home. I didn’t even realize it was so late.” | ||
#*If he’s lying, he can say the same thing without using the first-person pronoun: “The whole group was out. A cab came for us eventually. The night just flew by…” | #*If he’s lying, he can say the same thing without using the first-person pronoun: “The whole group was out. A cab came for us eventually. The night just flew by…” | ||
