Difference between revisions of "Know if She's Right for You"
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There are few more enjoyable feelings than finding a woman who complements you perfectly. When you do, you might find yourself feeling happy and smiling even when she's not around. But knowing if she is right for you isn't always easy. The best thing to remember is to trust yourself. If you feel happy, comfortable, and safe in her arms, then you probably are. However, there are some things that you can consider to determine if she is really right for you. | There are few more enjoyable feelings than finding a woman who complements you perfectly. When you do, you might find yourself feeling happy and smiling even when she's not around. But knowing if she is right for you isn't always easy. The best thing to remember is to trust yourself. If you feel happy, comfortable, and safe in her arms, then you probably are. However, there are some things that you can consider to determine if she is really right for you. | ||
| − | [[Category:Maintaining Relationships]] | + | [[Category: Maintaining Relationships]] |
== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Knowing if She is "The One"=== | ===Knowing if She is "The One"=== | ||
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#Think about the things you can and cannot talk to her about. [[Communicate-Better-in-a-Relationship|Communication is the foundation]], flooring, and soil of a strong relationship, and you should be able to talk about almost anything with your potential life partner. Feeling like you're holding back parts of your past, your desires, or your concerns will only lead to festering issues and arguments that will, in time, explode. If you are going to share the rest of your life with someone, make sure you're actually sharing it. | #Think about the things you can and cannot talk to her about. [[Communicate-Better-in-a-Relationship|Communication is the foundation]], flooring, and soil of a strong relationship, and you should be able to talk about almost anything with your potential life partner. Feeling like you're holding back parts of your past, your desires, or your concerns will only lead to festering issues and arguments that will, in time, explode. If you are going to share the rest of your life with someone, make sure you're actually sharing it. | ||
#*This doesn't mean she knows 100% of everything you've ever done. It just means that you feel comfortable sharing it if it were to come up. | #*This doesn't mean she knows 100% of everything you've ever done. It just means that you feel comfortable sharing it if it were to come up. | ||
| − | #Make sure you're comfortable sitting in silence, or just relaxing together. When you're first meeting people, silences can be awkward and uncomfortable. But those quiet moments where you don't feel like you need to impress or entertain her are incredibly important for the health of a long-term relationship. If you can just exist together for a few moments, without goals, anxiety, or worry, then you're allowed to be yourself. Feeling like you can be both yourself and still with her is a sure sign she might be right for you.<ref>http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/05/is-she-right-for-you/#identifier_0_5139</ref> | + | #Make sure you're comfortable sitting in silence, or just relaxing together. When you're first meeting people, silences can be awkward and uncomfortable. But those quiet moments where you don't feel like you need to impress or entertain her are incredibly important for the health of a long-term relationship. If you can just exist together for a few moments, without goals, anxiety, or worry, then you're allowed to be yourself. Feeling like you can be both yourself and still with her is a sure sign she might be right for you.<ref name="rf1">http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/05/is-she-right-for-you/#identifier_0_5139</ref> |
#*Try doing co-puttering activities, such as reading or watching TV in the same room. | #*Try doing co-puttering activities, such as reading or watching TV in the same room. | ||
| − | #*Make sure that you maintain your independence as well, such as by doing things on your own or with your friends.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pleasures-sex/201212/balancing-time-together-vs-apart</ref> | + | #*Make sure that you maintain your independence as well, such as by doing things on your own or with your friends.<ref name="rf2">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pleasures-sex/201212/balancing-time-together-vs-apart</ref> |
| − | #Introduce her to other important people in your life. If you're unwilling to bring her around to meet those important to you, it is very unlikely that she's the right one for you. You should want to "show her off," not trying to hide her from other people in your life because you're afraid they will disapprove. If you can't wait for for her to meet everyone, then chances are good she's a keeper.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/19/31-ways-to-know-youre-in-the-right-relationship-advice_n_1608813.html</ref> | + | #Introduce her to other important people in your life. If you're unwilling to bring her around to meet those important to you, it is very unlikely that she's the right one for you. You should want to "show her off," not trying to hide her from other people in your life because you're afraid they will disapprove. If you can't wait for for her to meet everyone, then chances are good she's a keeper.<ref name="rf3">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/19/31-ways-to-know-youre-in-the-right-relationship-advice_n_1608813.html</ref> |
| − | #*If your friends and family all don't like a person, chances are she isn't right for you. Remember that your friends know you well, and they're looking out for your happiness, too.<ref>http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/08/how-do-you-know-when-shes-the-one/</ref> | + | #*If your friends and family all don't like a person, chances are she isn't right for you. Remember that your friends know you well, and they're looking out for your happiness, too.<ref name="rf4">http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/08/how-do-you-know-when-shes-the-one/</ref> |
#Look for a woman who helps you become better. Does she challenge you to get better, helping your along your path? Do you help and challenge her to be the best she can be too? The right couples see everything as a team, even if that just means providing encouraging words when you or her goes through tough times. Does she inspire you to go out less and work on that passion project? Does you get excited for her when she publishes a new article or poem? This sort of support is obvious when she is the right one for you. | #Look for a woman who helps you become better. Does she challenge you to get better, helping your along your path? Do you help and challenge her to be the best she can be too? The right couples see everything as a team, even if that just means providing encouraging words when you or her goes through tough times. Does she inspire you to go out less and work on that passion project? Does you get excited for her when she publishes a new article or poem? This sort of support is obvious when she is the right one for you. | ||
#* Ask yourself if you admire her. It is pretty important for couple to admire each-other. You need to like what she does and who she is in order to maintain a great relationship. | #* Ask yourself if you admire her. It is pretty important for couple to admire each-other. You need to like what she does and who she is in order to maintain a great relationship. | ||
| − | #Note if you think about her when making decisions. She should be a major part of all of your major decisions, not an afterthought that you think will just go along with whatever you say. When offered an opportunity or making important choices, the right woman for you will naturally flicker into your mind. You make decisions and work together as a team naturally, becoming stronger and happier as a result.<ref>http://elitedaily.com/dating/shes-one-8-signs-can-stop-looking-love/848445/</ref> | + | #Note if you think about her when making decisions. She should be a major part of all of your major decisions, not an afterthought that you think will just go along with whatever you say. When offered an opportunity or making important choices, the right woman for you will naturally flicker into your mind. You make decisions and work together as a team naturally, becoming stronger and happier as a result.<ref name="rf5">http://elitedaily.com/dating/shes-one-8-signs-can-stop-looking-love/848445/</ref> |
| − | #Consider how she makes you feel. She's the right person if you feel happy, safe, and loved with her. At the end of the day, all of the other tips -- from communication to planning -- come from this simple feeling. If you feel comfortable in her presence, like there is nowhere you'd rather be, then you should stay with her. If you feel happy at the idea of spending a life with her, then pursue that life. And if you feel safe against problems, issues, or stress with her by your side, chances are good that you will be.<ref>https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2013/09/how-to-know-if-she-is-the-right-one-for-you/</ref> | + | #Consider how she makes you feel. She's the right person if you feel happy, safe, and loved with her. At the end of the day, all of the other tips -- from communication to planning -- come from this simple feeling. If you feel comfortable in her presence, like there is nowhere you'd rather be, then you should stay with her. If you feel happy at the idea of spending a life with her, then pursue that life. And if you feel safe against problems, issues, or stress with her by your side, chances are good that you will be.<ref name="rf6">https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2013/09/how-to-know-if-she-is-the-right-one-for-you/</ref> |
#*Long relationships are never easy, but the right woman will ''feel'' like she is easy to be with. This open comfort is often the only clue you need to know she's right for you. | #*Long relationships are never easy, but the right woman will ''feel'' like she is easy to be with. This open comfort is often the only clue you need to know she's right for you. | ||
#Note if you think about her when she isn't around. Though she may feel like the best and most obvious decision you've ever made, you should still take some time and space to think through this alone. Even if she is the right girl for you, it's a lot easier to go with the flow and feel happy when you're together. But a strong relationship usually means you're thinking about her all the time -- alone and together, at home and abroad. If you don't miss her when she's gone or feel the passion fade when you separate, then it is going to be difficult to live with her 24/7. | #Note if you think about her when she isn't around. Though she may feel like the best and most obvious decision you've ever made, you should still take some time and space to think through this alone. Even if she is the right girl for you, it's a lot easier to go with the flow and feel happy when you're together. But a strong relationship usually means you're thinking about her all the time -- alone and together, at home and abroad. If you don't miss her when she's gone or feel the passion fade when you separate, then it is going to be difficult to live with her 24/7. | ||
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===Discussing Long-Term Relationship Options=== | ===Discussing Long-Term Relationship Options=== | ||
#Know what you'd like out of the relationship and be upfront about it. Say you've been with her for a few months now and are ready to move in together. Don't try and beat around the bush, hoping she'll ask to move in or offer you a place -- be upfront and honest about your desires. Even if the first conversation is difficult or awkward, this will save you much harder discussions later on, you have little to gain by hiding your desires and relationship goals: if she agrees, you can figure out how to make it work, if she disagrees, then you saved several months of miscommunication and cross-talk. | #Know what you'd like out of the relationship and be upfront about it. Say you've been with her for a few months now and are ready to move in together. Don't try and beat around the bush, hoping she'll ask to move in or offer you a place -- be upfront and honest about your desires. Even if the first conversation is difficult or awkward, this will save you much harder discussions later on, you have little to gain by hiding your desires and relationship goals: if she agrees, you can figure out how to make it work, if she disagrees, then you saved several months of miscommunication and cross-talk. | ||
| − | #*If you can't have this or the following intelligent, but difficult, discussions with her at all then you already have your answer-- she's not right for you.<ref>http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/05/is-she-right-for-you/</ref> | + | #*If you can't have this or the following intelligent, but difficult, discussions with her at all then you already have your answer-- she's not right for you.<ref name="rf7">http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/05/is-she-right-for-you/</ref> |
#Discuss your ideas about money, saving, and bill-paying. If you're going to be moving in together, taking things to the next level, or getting married, then you need to talk about money as soon as possible. Few things get between couples so completely as unresolved money issues, and it has more to do with if she's right for you than many other trivial facts like star signs and siblings. Discuss: | #Discuss your ideas about money, saving, and bill-paying. If you're going to be moving in together, taking things to the next level, or getting married, then you need to talk about money as soon as possible. Few things get between couples so completely as unresolved money issues, and it has more to do with if she's right for you than many other trivial facts like star signs and siblings. Discuss: | ||
#*What would she do if she won the lottery? In other words, where does she prioritize spending? | #*What would she do if she won the lottery? In other words, where does she prioritize spending? | ||
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#*How often would you like to have sex? | #*How often would you like to have sex? | ||
#*Are you willing to try new things, or do you like to keep things romantic and simple? | #*Are you willing to try new things, or do you like to keep things romantic and simple? | ||
| − | #*If your sex drives don't match up, how can you make sure you're both happy?<ref | + | #*If your sex drives don't match up, how can you make sure you're both happy?<ref name="rf7" /> |
#Talk about major life events. There are a thousand different choices that face couples, and you'll never be able to discuss all of them before they happen. But there are some major moments to consider before jumping into a committed, long-term relationship with someone, avoiding these major potential conflicts before they can blow up: | #Talk about major life events. There are a thousand different choices that face couples, and you'll never be able to discuss all of them before they happen. But there are some major moments to consider before jumping into a committed, long-term relationship with someone, avoiding these major potential conflicts before they can blow up: | ||
#*Do you both want kids? If so, how many? | #*Do you both want kids? If so, how many? | ||
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#*Willingness to try new things with you, or learn about your interests/hobbies. | #*Willingness to try new things with you, or learn about your interests/hobbies. | ||
#*Does not try to convince you that they are "right," and accepts differing viewpoints. | #*Does not try to convince you that they are "right," and accepts differing viewpoints. | ||
| − | #*You feel comfortable being yourself, not trying to think of the "perfect" thing each time.<ref | + | #*You feel comfortable being yourself, not trying to think of the "perfect" thing each time.<ref name="rf1" /> |
#Trust your own judgement and take the plunge. When determining whether or not to ask a girl out, never forget that this is a low-risk, high-reward game. If she says no, then you both move on about your lives with only a brief moment of awkwardness. If she says yes, then you both get the exciting beginning of a new relationship. | #Trust your own judgement and take the plunge. When determining whether or not to ask a girl out, never forget that this is a low-risk, high-reward game. If she says no, then you both move on about your lives with only a brief moment of awkwardness. If she says yes, then you both get the exciting beginning of a new relationship. | ||
#*A date should not be well-researched and "perfect." That's what the date is for -- seeing if she actually is the right one moving forward. | #*A date should not be well-researched and "perfect." That's what the date is for -- seeing if she actually is the right one moving forward. | ||
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==Tips== | ==Tips== | ||
