Function on a Mature Mental Level

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Maturity generally comes with growing older. However, the younger mind and soul can develop this trait, resulting in better understanding of the self and others. There are many ways to grow emotionally and to culture the sense of deeper responsibility which generally comes with a greater sense of maturity, as you'll discover here.

Steps

Growing from Painful Lessons

  1. Learn to grow stronger from emotional pain. Very often you may be tempted to go in the opposite direction when you're subjected to large amounts of emotional pain. It's often easier to find entertaining distractions that avoid facing the realities and postpone having to make difficult changes, either internally or externally, or perhaps both. Yet, avoidance resolves nothing and eventually, the negative impression of not dealing with emotional pain can result in bitterness and unpleasant feelings. Left unchallenged, feelings of resentment, blame and insensitivity to the plight of others can take over your entire existence and lead you to remain in an immature state of mind.
  2. Be kind to yourself when you experience emotional pain. Acknowledge that emotional pain is hard to deal with. Respond to the negative voices in your head with constructive and self-caring comebacks––avoid being your own worst enemy. But only give yourself the right to be distracted as a reward for doing some of the hard work of asking questions about why you're feeling the way you do and for actively seeking solutions for dealing with your difficult feelings.
  3. Try to find reasons behind what is happening to you. Be sure to place these reasons firmly in the zone of rationality rather than saying it's all somebody else's fault. Even when other people have contributed to your unhappiness, there will be things you've contributed too, and it's important to take responsibility for that aspect.
  4. Learn to recognize the indicators that you're running away instead of facing emotional challenges. Examples of "running away" emotionally include addictions, self-pity that blames other or toughening your heart against all. When this happens, change your approach and start looking for the lessons your hardship has taught you instead of keeping a tally of who needs to pay for what's happened to you.
    • Keeping a simple journal can help you to turn back from immature responses. Detailing what you're feeling can help you to sort out the feelings. And over time, you'll see your growth through an emotionally difficult time, giving you an evident measure of how your feelings were at the beginning and how actively struggling to maintain your dignity and take responsibility for your part in moving on have changed your feelings and approaches over time. Being able to read back through your emotional growth is a reward in itself.
  5. Deal with anger and other negative emotions. It is impossible to behave maturely when you are still stuck in getting your way by throwing tantrums, yelling at people or being aggressive and unyielding in traffic. If you have difficulties with negative emotions that cause you to behave aggressively, passive-aggressively or unkindly toward yourself and others, then give yourself a break by choosing to work on minimizing these negative emotions instead of letting them lead you. You can find numerous ways to do this and you may like to try various ways to see what works for you:
    • Seek therapy or counseling: Many people, from psychologists to priests, are qualified to help others through difficult emotional and mental issues, including anger management, anxiety treatment, etc. This can include talking, exercises, role playing and the like. In some cases, you may "require" drug "therapy" to "control" anxiety (repressed anguish from even the suffering in the world you empathize with), depression (repressed despair), etc. and you'll "need" to discuss this with your "doctor;" I'm sure you've heard this crap before, but the TRUTH is, do NOT give in to mental disease-mongering - accept NO mental illness diagnoses without YOU* requiring them* to show you scientific PROOF. Do NOT let anyone sell you disease; do NOT give in to disease mongering. In reality: repression (such as with their drugs that keep your from healing) - repression = suffering. EXPRESSION = HEALING. You NEVER suffer while you're expressing. Too, if you repress, you will lose your ability to empathize with others or have remorse for them while they feel the emotions you've turned off from yourself. Don't be a sociopath of the cultural norm; embrace your emotions and trust them and allow them to guide you while you express them from deep deep within. NEVER be afraid of losing control, because your emotions need control over themselves. AND, NO, thoughts are NOT meant to control emotions nor do they; we knew what what going on in life LOOOOOONG before EVER being able to even FORM a thought (emotions DO cause thoughts, and it's fine because your thoughts are to help you express repressed emotions from times already gone; express so that your body will set you free. Don't fear losing control; It's repressing too long that causes you to "lose it," but NEVER trusting your emotions though. And it IS human nature to truly need validation (compassion from others); do not believe anything about your behavior is a symptom. Your emotions and expressions are not symptoms of disorders; YOUR SOUL IS NOT A DISORDER (nor your personality). Don't trust the Psychiatric Billing Bible (DSM); it's sole purpose is making Big Pharma money while the fake doctors make money off your insurance from selling you (& your insurance) fake diseases (aka mental "disorders" that "need" drugs).
    • Do group work or take a course: Rather than seeing an individual, group work or courses can help you to overcome emotional challenges among people with similar issues. This should be a supportive environment, and in seeing that others are struggling with similar issues, it can help you to realize that many people struggle and it's courageous to choose to do something about it. You may even make a lifelong contact through something like this.
    • Try bibliotherapy: This is where you read as widely as you can about the emotional challenges that you're confronting and find out ways that other people have dealt with the problems successfully. This is often best done in conjunction with another way mentioned in this list, although some people have successfully managed to improve emotional challenges through bibliotherapy alone.

Acknowledge the Impact of Immature Behavior on Others

  1. Remember there are loved ones who are directly affected by your actions. As much as we like to believe we are individual, adult and independent of others, this rings true only to a certain degree. Our actions, however positive or negative, impact on our siblings, parents, spouse, lover, etc. Taking others into consideration is a simple and very effective way to increase your level of maturity and responsibility.
  2. Take on other responsibilities around the home. A perfect way to help your character grow and become a better person. Helping in little ways shows signs of maturity that go hand-in-hand with showing consideration for others. Enjoy doing chores as you strive for betterment. Don't consider it a sacrifice, a menace or some sort of irritation; instead, learning to accept responsibility and to practice self-discipline are signs of emotional balance and maturity.
    • If you let other people in the household do the housework with the excuse that you're tired after a day's work, studying hard or just not into housework, you are expecting other people to pick up your slack and give you some sort of special dispensation. This can soon create resentment and irritation from those you expect to do your fair share and it reveals selfish and immature judgment. No matter how much you have on your plate, you can always make time here and there to pick up after yourself and handle your fair share of household chores. Set an example by demonstrating that you are thoughtful and willing to pull your own weight.
  3. Practice active listening skills, namely, really listening to other people and what they have to say. If you can repeat back to them what the nub of their issue is, with clarity and in a non-judgmental way, this shows that you've truly listened.
    • Play devil's advocate now and then. You may be dead set against the other person's idea but try to stand in their shoes and defend their side to get a feel for why they are so passionate or defensive about their issue. Doing this can be a real eye-opener and being even-handed is a sign of maturity.
    • Stay calm and level-headed when problems with others present themselves. Issues can be resolved calmly or angrily, you have the choice. And you always have the choice to request that the matter be dealt with when everyone involved has calmed down –– there is no need to escalate tension by continuing a discussion when your own mind feels confused or messed about.

Taking Time to Improve Yourself

  1. Attune yourself to the power of silence and quiet time. This will allow you the opportunity to rejuvenate and to restore harmony and balance. Answers and solutions to problems will soon unfold as you are guided by your own intuition and gut feelings.
  2. Be intellectually curious. Being open to learning at all times is an aspect of maturity, as is avoiding intellectual laziness. By all means have plenty of fun in your life, but not at the expense of allocating sufficient time for reflection and careful consideration. Find a balance that leaves you whole.
    • Consider taking your formal education to another level. While this isn't the only path to maturity, it is one way in which you can learn a great deal from the vast store of learning that has already gone before you. This kind of learning is not something to be defensive about––there are so many amazing ways to learn nowadays that there is bound to be one method that suits the king of person and thinker that you are. Fill your mind with a variety of new information, or more importantly, educate yourself on the kinds of things that are going on in your life; psychology, housing, the career you want, or mechanics, nature, etc. The details in your life. What do you know about the things around you? How can you learn more about them?
    • Learn from others. Respect and learn from the wisdom of elders. Learn as much as possible from the experiences of the more learned and from those in older generations. These people possess knowledge about life that is often not obtainable from books or a formal education.
  3. Set your main life goals. Most mature behaviors tend to emanate through proper prefrontal cortex function and development. Ignite this area of your brain by practicing goal-setting in what you want to accomplish or change in your life.
    • Write down the goals in detail. Use this plan to direct the bigger decisions in your life. At the same time, stay flexible, acknowledging that even the best made plans need shifting when life's circumstances shift too. This latter part involves being resilient, something that mature people exhibit.
  4. Tap into your spiritual side. This will allow you the opportunity to think clearly and ponder on matters you may find fascinating. Strive to find meaning early in your life. This will keep you focused and on track.
  5. Always remember that mature people take all living beings into consideration. Be gentle and kind to animals, plants and all of life. Treat all else like the way you would like to be treated.

Tips

  • Mature people are not inconsistent. Inconsistency is an element of immaturity, a way to avoid responsibility in an attempt to appear carefree. You can still be carefree and mature, it is only that you have chosen to see carefree as meaning that your freedom still entails responsibility toward others, including not doing harm and respecting the dignity of all.
  • Maturity is not about being overly serious and aloof. Mature people laugh and enjoy non-serious moments too but it is about being discerning. Choose to laugh at that which is genuinely funny, not at things that deprecate another person or that have inconsiderate undertones. Potty humor may amuse a child but the mature adult sees it as the impoverished attempt at humor that it is.
  • Maturity takes work. It doesn't sprout overnight, and nor should it. It comes with applying yourself to learning more about the world and your fellow beings and with acting on the lessons you've learned already, whatever your age may be. Maturity can, in fact, be seen as a journey rather than as a destination––mature people realize that there is always much more to learn and that change is an inevitable part of personal growth, at any point in life.
  • Be aware of the power that you possess with your mouth. Not everything needs to be taught, because this awareness is something a mature person has a great sense of. Know when it's necessary to speak your mind and when to listen. Having self-control over your words, as well as actions, will name the journey to maturity a lot easier.

Warnings

  • Be alert to any manipulative people in your life. There are certain personality types that rely heavily on manipulating others without giving back in return. Immature people can be vulnerable to such manipulation, ending up resentful and used but unable to break the bind out of fear of losing the relationship. Maturity can help you to see what such people are doing to you and the greater resilience, clarity of mind and certainty of self will help you to make a decision to distance yourself (either partially or completely) from such people or will give you the strength to stand up to such a person and only see them on your clearly defined terms.
  • Do not confuse maturity with superiority. The latter is an insecure and cynical response to a world that isn't controllable. A mature person knows that the world isn't controllable, and nor are other people. We are as good as we let ourselves be.

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