Difference between revisions of "Keep a Secret"
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[[Category:Diary and Secrets]] | [[Category:Diary and Secrets]] | ||
| − | [[Category:Spying]] | + | [[Category: Spying]] |
== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Keeping Someone Else’s Secret=== | ===Keeping Someone Else’s Secret=== | ||
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#*The person will appreciate your honesty and still has the option of telling you, knowing that you may tell someone else. | #*The person will appreciate your honesty and still has the option of telling you, knowing that you may tell someone else. | ||
#*Suggest that the person tell you the secret right before they tell other people, so you do not have to keep the secret very long. | #*Suggest that the person tell you the secret right before they tell other people, so you do not have to keep the secret very long. | ||
| − | #*Some studies have shown that keeping a secret puts undue stress on a person. If you wish to avoid added stress, just say no to secrets.<ref>http://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2013/10/24/keeping-secrets-can-be-hazardous-to-your-health/</ref> | + | #*Some studies have shown that keeping a secret puts undue stress on a person. If you wish to avoid added stress, just say no to secrets.<ref name="rf1">http://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2013/10/24/keeping-secrets-can-be-hazardous-to-your-health/</ref> |
===Keeping Your Own Secret=== | ===Keeping Your Own Secret=== | ||
#Decide how long you want to keep the secret. Depending on the type of secret, it may have a built-in end point. | #Decide how long you want to keep the secret. Depending on the type of secret, it may have a built-in end point. | ||
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#*If it is a serious secret, make a plan to give yourself and the person you’re going to tell uninterrupted time alone to talk and discuss the secret. | #*If it is a serious secret, make a plan to give yourself and the person you’re going to tell uninterrupted time alone to talk and discuss the secret. | ||
#Push the secret out of your mind. Stay busy with other things, and try not to think about the secret too much. If you think about it constantly, it will be much more difficult to keep yourself from telling someone. | #Push the secret out of your mind. Stay busy with other things, and try not to think about the secret too much. If you think about it constantly, it will be much more difficult to keep yourself from telling someone. | ||
| − | #Think about the benefits of telling your secret. If you are keeping a secret that is upsetting you, you may be standing in your own way. Telling someone may give them the opportunity to help you in a way that you may not expect.<ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201304/the-family-secret/keeping-secrets</ref> | + | #Think about the benefits of telling your secret. If you are keeping a secret that is upsetting you, you may be standing in your own way. Telling someone may give them the opportunity to help you in a way that you may not expect.<ref name="rf2">http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201304/the-family-secret/keeping-secrets</ref> |
#Entrust your secret to one person. If you absolutely must tell someone, be sure you choose the right person. | #Entrust your secret to one person. If you absolutely must tell someone, be sure you choose the right person. | ||
#*Think about your past experiences with that person. Have they been trustworthy and discreet in the past? | #*Think about your past experiences with that person. Have they been trustworthy and discreet in the past? | ||
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#*If the person is persistent, politely tell them to stop asking you. | #*If the person is persistent, politely tell them to stop asking you. | ||
===Satisfying Your Urge to Tell=== | ===Satisfying Your Urge to Tell=== | ||
| − | #Write it down and destroy it. Writing about the secret in detail on paper, then destroying the evidence, can be a good way to “get it out.”<ref>https://psychologies.co.uk/self/how-to-keep-a-secret.html</ref> | + | #Write it down and destroy it. Writing about the secret in detail on paper, then destroying the evidence, can be a good way to “get it out.”<ref name="rf3">https://psychologies.co.uk/self/how-to-keep-a-secret.html</ref> |
#*Be sure you thoroughly destroy the evidence. Consider burning it (safely) or shredding it in a paper shredder. | #*Be sure you thoroughly destroy the evidence. Consider burning it (safely) or shredding it in a paper shredder. | ||
#*If you put it in a trash can, tear it into pieces and bury it underneath the trash. Consider putting the pieces in separate trash cans and/or taking the trash out to the curb or dumpster immediately after throwing the paper away. | #*If you put it in a trash can, tear it into pieces and bury it underneath the trash. Consider putting the pieces in separate trash cans and/or taking the trash out to the curb or dumpster immediately after throwing the paper away. | ||
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#Tell yourself in the mirror. If you need to feel like you are telling another human, try telling yourself the secret in the mirror. Pretend you have a twin brother or sister and talk to yourself. This may seem silly, but it might help. | #Tell yourself in the mirror. If you need to feel like you are telling another human, try telling yourself the secret in the mirror. Pretend you have a twin brother or sister and talk to yourself. This may seem silly, but it might help. | ||
#*Again, be sure that there is no one nearby to overhear what you are saying. | #*Again, be sure that there is no one nearby to overhear what you are saying. | ||
| − | #Get the secret energy out of your body. Sometimes, hearing a secret makes you feel like you’re going to explode. There is a physical connection between your body and keeping secrets.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/25/secret-physical-burden-mental-keeping-a-secret_n_1373287.html</ref> Get the jitters out by yelling or dancing around—anything that will get that excited energy out of you so that you don’t run and tell someone the secret instead. | + | #Get the secret energy out of your body. Sometimes, hearing a secret makes you feel like you’re going to explode. There is a physical connection between your body and keeping secrets.<ref name="rf4">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/25/secret-physical-burden-mental-keeping-a-secret_n_1373287.html</ref> Get the jitters out by yelling or dancing around—anything that will get that excited energy out of you so that you don’t run and tell someone the secret instead. |
#Tell one person who is very trustworthy. If you absolutely must tell another human, be sure that it is someone who can keep a secret. | #Tell one person who is very trustworthy. If you absolutely must tell another human, be sure that it is someone who can keep a secret. | ||
#*If you are keeping a secret about another person, try telling a third party who doesn’t know the original person. | #*If you are keeping a secret about another person, try telling a third party who doesn’t know the original person. | ||
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#*Depending on the secret, you may not want to tell other people that you knew before they did. This may hurt the feelings of the person’s close friends or family. | #*Depending on the secret, you may not want to tell other people that you knew before they did. This may hurt the feelings of the person’s close friends or family. | ||
#Weigh the risks and benefits of telling. Any time you decide to tell a secret to someone else, you must evaluate the risk of many people finding out and you being thought of as untrustworthy against the satisfaction you will feel when you tell someone the secret. | #Weigh the risks and benefits of telling. Any time you decide to tell a secret to someone else, you must evaluate the risk of many people finding out and you being thought of as untrustworthy against the satisfaction you will feel when you tell someone the secret. | ||
| − | #*If you are considering telling a secret, write down a list of pros and cons to telling.<ref | + | #*If you are considering telling a secret, write down a list of pros and cons to telling.<ref name="rf1" /> This can help you make a well-reasoned decision. |
== Related Articles == | == Related Articles == | ||
