Cook in Jail

Revision as of 03:27, 9 January 2016 by Kipkis (Kipkis | contribs) (importing article from wikihow)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)

If you're constantly hungry in jail, there are several resourceful ways to get more food or to make your food more palatable. Here are some suggestions from an initial author who has "been there".

Steps

  1. Understand the differences between getting food in jail and food in prison. In jail you have a lot less work to do as far as food and resources are concerned. In jail, there are two main sources of food––the first is your meals, usually a breakfast tray, a lunch tray and a dinner tray. One way to get extra food is to file a medical request claiming that you're either diabetic or underweight. Sometimes, depending on the facility, you can get an extra later evening snack, usually consisting of a peanut butter sandwich and maybe an orange or something along those lines. In many cases jail food is, by nature, designed to be as inedible as possible.
    • Your tray will usually consist of a piece of meat, a piece or two of bread, a piece of fruit, and a vegetable. Now that you know what you're working with, you see why it's important to learn to cook your own food in jail.
  2. Make use of the most important source of edible food, the canteen. This is where inmates with money on their accounts are allowed to order food items from a menu. All institutions have different menus and different limits on how much you can order. One main staple available in every institution in the country is Ramen noodles. Ramen is a staple in prison/jail culture food and the base for many prison dishes. The most popular is known by many names, goulash, breakdown, whatever––it's all the same though. It starts with a base of ramen noodle soup, with various other ingredients added.
    • Make spicy beef ramen: make the noodles, drain off the water, add the seasoning pack. Then cut up a beef stick, a cheese stick, crumble a handful of spicy chips in it and season with hot sauce to taste. It's really pretty good.
    • A lot of times, several inmates will all bring a ramen soup and one extra item, combine them in one large goulash and then divide it up evenly. It's as much a social event as it is a way to eat.
  3. Use hot water to cook with. Since most often you won't have access to microwaves or other forms to cook, hot water is the best option for jail or prison cooking. If this is not available, then warm water is at least hopefully available. Usually, you can purchase a plastic bowl with a lid from canteen as well. You put your noodles in this, add hot water, put the lid on, and then take it to your bunk and cover with bedding and pillow to hold in the heat. This method is usually pretty effective, and after 10 minutes or so you have your ramen.
  4. Try other things. For example, save your boiled egg from your breakfast tray, combine mayonnaise packets from the canteen and chop up a pickle from the canteen, and maybe a mustard pack. Save your bread from your lunch or dinner trays, and then you have an egg salad. You can do the same thing with tuna packs that are sometimes available from canteen.
  5. Trade. Often, if you don't have canteen money, you can trade a tray (breakfast, lunch, dinner ) for one or, if it's a particularly popular tray that day, for up to 3 canteen items.
    • For example, one person might give you their lunch tray for a ramen noodle pack. But if it's Sunday, the day you might get, say two pieces of coffee cake and grits and eggs and toast, or biscuit and gravy day, you might be able to get a ramen soup and a bag of chips.
    • Some of the more popular items from canteen to trade with are candy, spicy chips, and the king of all jailhouse items, instant coffee. A smart inmate might order a lot of these more popular items, then around the middle of the week when others run out, make loans, for example, give someone a cup of coffee, on canteen day that person owes you two cups.
  6. Use packaging. Another way to cook your goulash is to use a large chip bag, or a clean trash bag, full of hot water, or if not available, put the bag under the warm water in your sink and let it run over the bag for ten minutes or so. If you're lucky enough to get cornbread, you can collect pieces of this up, mix with a little water, and make a dough up. Use whatever you can find, like a toilet paper tube stuffed tight with toilet paper and wrapped in saran wrap from another food item as a rolling pin to roll out the dough, then wrap your filling (usually a goulash) and let dry, or place in the warmest place possible, to dry it faster. Then you have a large "burrito".
  7. Be resourceful. As you can see, there are numerous ways that you can find to feed yourself in jail, you just have to be resourceful and use whatever resources you have at hand. A couple of other quick ideas include:
    • Volunteer to work in the kitchen, where you have the opportunity to get leftover food.
    • If you don't have money on your books, you can do services for other inmates such as laundry, drawing cards for them to send to loved ones, helping out with legal research for their legal cases, tattoo work, hair cutting, cleaning someone else's cell and just about anything else you can imagine.

Tips

  • The key is, eat everything you can, work out as much as you can, even if it's just body weight exercises, keep your physical and mental strength up as high as possible, to avoid becoming a victim. The small and the weak get preyed upon, the big and the strong survive, sometimes even thrive.

Warnings

  • Above all, be a stand up guy, don't borrow what you can't repay, don't share food to win popularity, and always watch your stuff. You're living with a bunch of thieves. They'll steal you blind in a heartbeat if you give them half a chance. And never, ever punk out. Even if someone twice your size takes your tray, do what you have to do. Even if you get beaten or stabbed, hopefully they'll realize that there is easier prey out there next time and try someone else instead of you.

Related Articles