Difference between revisions of "Hide What You Feel"
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| − | When it comes to your emotions, most experts say expressing them is healthy and necessary.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201109/why-we-hide-emotional-pain</ref> However, there are also times when keeping your feelings under wraps is best. It might be that you have romantic feelings for someone, but don't want to risk ruining your friendship. Or it could be that you have feelings for someone who is married or otherwise taken. Maybe your feelings don't involve romance at all, but jealousy, anger, or sadness and you feel it is wise to conceal these feelings for whatever reason. While it is not healthy as a long-term strategy or in situations with those you are closest to, there are several strategies that can help you hide your feelings in situations where that is best for you and for others. | + | When it comes to your emotions, most experts say expressing them is healthy and necessary.<ref name="rf1">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201109/why-we-hide-emotional-pain</ref> However, there are also times when keeping your feelings under wraps is best. It might be that you have romantic feelings for someone, but don't want to risk ruining your friendship. Or it could be that you have feelings for someone who is married or otherwise taken. Maybe your feelings don't involve romance at all, but jealousy, anger, or sadness and you feel it is wise to conceal these feelings for whatever reason. While it is not healthy as a long-term strategy or in situations with those you are closest to, there are several strategies that can help you hide your feelings in situations where that is best for you and for others. |
[[Category:Managing Negative Feelings]] | [[Category:Managing Negative Feelings]] | ||
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#Watch what you say. Be quick on your feet to respond, especially if you are nervous as your other friends will tell everyone if you admit your feelings. | #Watch what you say. Be quick on your feet to respond, especially if you are nervous as your other friends will tell everyone if you admit your feelings. | ||
#*Be ready to change the subject or divert the focus from you if the sensitive topic arises. When questioned about your feelings you have to have a determined-sounding response and fire back your response without too much (or too little) delay. | #*Be ready to change the subject or divert the focus from you if the sensitive topic arises. When questioned about your feelings you have to have a determined-sounding response and fire back your response without too much (or too little) delay. | ||
| − | #*One of the biggest tell-tale signs of someone who is hiding their feelings is that they become uncharacteristically quiet or standoffish. If you want to hide your feelings, you have to hide the fact that you're hiding them as well! So be sure to try not to come across as overly quiet.<ref | + | #*One of the biggest tell-tale signs of someone who is hiding their feelings is that they become uncharacteristically quiet or standoffish. If you want to hide your feelings, you have to hide the fact that you're hiding them as well! So be sure to try not to come across as overly quiet.<ref name="rf1" /> |
#Lie if you must. If they ask you directly, and you still don't want to admit, you're going to have to consciousness look them in the eye and lie. Make your response simple and to the point. | #Lie if you must. If they ask you directly, and you still don't want to admit, you're going to have to consciousness look them in the eye and lie. Make your response simple and to the point. | ||
#*Many people believe that making eye contact is a sign that the speaker is telling the truth so this along with your brief responses will help to keep your feelings secret. | #*Many people believe that making eye contact is a sign that the speaker is telling the truth so this along with your brief responses will help to keep your feelings secret. | ||
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#Avoid coping mechanisms. If you decide to conceal your feelings, you might be tempted to turn to common but unhealthy coping mechanisms, but doing so just makes the problem worse. | #Avoid coping mechanisms. If you decide to conceal your feelings, you might be tempted to turn to common but unhealthy coping mechanisms, but doing so just makes the problem worse. | ||
#*Avoid drugs or alcohol. Many people who are sad or experiencing unrequited love turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with the pain, but doing so tends to make the sadness even worse when soberness returns, and can lead to problems with addiction and health consequences. | #*Avoid drugs or alcohol. Many people who are sad or experiencing unrequited love turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with the pain, but doing so tends to make the sadness even worse when soberness returns, and can lead to problems with addiction and health consequences. | ||
| − | #*Watch out for the sugar trap. Many people cope with sadness or feelings of rejection by eating, particularly carb- and sugar-heavy foods like ice cream and chocolate. But the body responds to sugar and carbs by creating a fake emotional "high" that quickly plummets into a sugar crash that is even worse than the way you felt before you ate the sugar. Don’t fall into that trap!<ref>http://www.alive.com/health/hiding-our-feelings-can-impact-our-health-and-longevity/</ref> | + | #*Watch out for the sugar trap. Many people cope with sadness or feelings of rejection by eating, particularly carb- and sugar-heavy foods like ice cream and chocolate. But the body responds to sugar and carbs by creating a fake emotional "high" that quickly plummets into a sugar crash that is even worse than the way you felt before you ate the sugar. Don’t fall into that trap!<ref name="rf2">http://www.alive.com/health/hiding-our-feelings-can-impact-our-health-and-longevity/</ref> |
#*Don't turn to empty relationships and sex. Especially if your feelings are related to unexpressed love or feelings of rejection from a romantic partner, you might be tempted to turn to casual sex and empty relationships to fill that void. But these relationships will not fill your craving for affection and intimacy. Give yourself time to grieve your lost love and then give it time. You will find someone to fill the emotional needs you have as well as the physical ones. | #*Don't turn to empty relationships and sex. Especially if your feelings are related to unexpressed love or feelings of rejection from a romantic partner, you might be tempted to turn to casual sex and empty relationships to fill that void. But these relationships will not fill your craving for affection and intimacy. Give yourself time to grieve your lost love and then give it time. You will find someone to fill the emotional needs you have as well as the physical ones. | ||
#Choose healthy outlets for your emotions. Instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms, look for healthy ways to express your feelings. | #Choose healthy outlets for your emotions. Instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms, look for healthy ways to express your feelings. | ||
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#*Learn a new art form. Expressing yourself through creativity can help to get some of your emotions out in safe, healthy ways. Try painting, writing music, writing short stories or poetry, or a craft like sewing or woodworking. Even if the art is unrelated to your particular feelings that you're hiding, it can be a way to take your mind off of things and focus your energy on something productive. | #*Learn a new art form. Expressing yourself through creativity can help to get some of your emotions out in safe, healthy ways. Try painting, writing music, writing short stories or poetry, or a craft like sewing or woodworking. Even if the art is unrelated to your particular feelings that you're hiding, it can be a way to take your mind off of things and focus your energy on something productive. | ||
#Express your emotions in appropriate ways. You may have been fearful to express your emotions for fear that the confrontation would get out of control. It's important to develop and practice healthy ways of expressing yourself so that you can be in control of your interactions with others. | #Express your emotions in appropriate ways. You may have been fearful to express your emotions for fear that the confrontation would get out of control. It's important to develop and practice healthy ways of expressing yourself so that you can be in control of your interactions with others. | ||
| − | #*Feelings of anger should not automatically result in shouting fests. In fact, yelling when you're angry often makes it hard to communicate what it is that has you upset, and also makes it more likely that the person you're yelling at will tune you out and not listen. Instead, let anger lead you to be more assertive and brave in your confrontations without letting it get the better of you. Use your anger to guide you toward rational conversations that can help solve the problem rather than creating new ones.<ref | + | #*Feelings of anger should not automatically result in shouting fests. In fact, yelling when you're angry often makes it hard to communicate what it is that has you upset, and also makes it more likely that the person you're yelling at will tune you out and not listen. Instead, let anger lead you to be more assertive and brave in your confrontations without letting it get the better of you. Use your anger to guide you toward rational conversations that can help solve the problem rather than creating new ones.<ref name="rf2" /> |
| − | #*Express your sadness without fearing that you shouldn't. Some people have been raised to think that it's childish or inappropriate to cry or mourn a loss, especially for men, but actually letting yourself feel sadness when sad things happen is an important sign of maturity. It's ok to feel sad and let yourself experience that feeling by crying.<ref | + | #*Express your sadness without fearing that you shouldn't. Some people have been raised to think that it's childish or inappropriate to cry or mourn a loss, especially for men, but actually letting yourself feel sadness when sad things happen is an important sign of maturity. It's ok to feel sad and let yourself experience that feeling by crying.<ref name="rf2" /> |
| − | #*Expressing your feelings can help you avoid negative health consequences of holding them in, such as hypertension, depression, and weight gain.<ref | + | #*Expressing your feelings can help you avoid negative health consequences of holding them in, such as hypertension, depression, and weight gain.<ref name="rf2" /> |
#*Check out [[Express Your Feelings|this helpful wikiHow article]] for more advice about healthy ways to express your emotions. | #*Check out [[Express Your Feelings|this helpful wikiHow article]] for more advice about healthy ways to express your emotions. | ||
