Convince Your Parents You're Sick

Whether it’s to avoid an impending appointment, a difficult test or even a family reunion, you need to convince your parents you’re sick. If you’re not actually sick and just want to avoid something unpleasant, you might try pretending you can’t keep anything down. You might fake a fever or a simple cold. Of course, you might actually be sick, and just need the right tools to explain this.

Steps

Showing You’re Actually Sick

1. Show and explain your symptoms. If you’re actually sick but your parents are skeptical, the best way to convince them is to concretely show how sick you are. By being forthcoming with your symptoms, you show that you have nothing to hide, making them more likely to trust you. You don’t want to emphasize on them too much, just make your parents aware.
   • For example, if you’ve had to wake up in the middle of the night to vomit, it’s important to mention that.
2. Avoid the “sick voice”. It’s tempting to make your symptoms sound worse than they are if you want to be convincing. It might work, but if it doesn’t, your parents will be hesitant to believe you’re actually sick. Be upfront and honest, don’t try to fake anything.
   • For instance, don’t try to force your scratchy throat into sounding more serious. If you’re having trouble swallowing, simply tell your parents. Since you’ll likely be avoiding food anyway, they’ll be more inclined to believe you.
3. Be confident and clear. If your parents aren’t easily convinced, they’ll try and get you to double back on your words. They might try and trap you or make you slip up. If you’re sick enough to need to skip a particular event, stay confident in that fact. If they see that you don’t back down and are secure in what you say, they’ll be more likely to believe you.
   • If you’re intent on missing a family gathering, you might want to specify that not only are you feeling ill, you’d rather not get anyone sick. If you’re particularly contagious, your parents will understand.

Faking Nausea and Vomiting

1. Lay some hints the night before. If you want to convince your parents you have a stomach bug, it’s best to make it seem like it’s been stewing. You need to prepare in advance of the day you’re planning to be sick.
   • Try not to eat too much the night before your sick day. Eating is the last thing you want to do when you feel nauseous; this helps cement the deception.
   • Avoid excessive activity. It’s hard to believe you have a developing illness if you’re up and about.
2. Prepare some fake vomit. It’s best to do this when you have some time alone, or somewhere you won’t get caught. Mix a few pieces of bread, oatmeal, water and baby food in a bowl. The solid foods give your mixture the chunkiness it needs, while the water and baby food give it a sludgy overall texture.
   • If you can get away with it, snag some leftovers to prepare your fake vomit. Combine different foods with water until you get the right texture. Using real food will make it more convincing.
3. Keep the mixture hidden in a sealed container. If you’ll only be using your fake vomit several hours later, it’s important to keep it out of view. You can hide it under your bed or in a drawer in your room, somewhere your parents won’t look.
   • Make sure the container can be securely sealed to avoid spillage. Think sandwich bags or plastic kitchen containers.
4. Use your mixture to fake throwing up. Start this process a few hours before whatever event you’re trying to skip. Make sure you stash the fake vomit in the bathroom in preparation for this. Complain that you’re not feeling very well, and excuse yourself to the bathroom if your parents are nearby. Lock the door and stay for a few minutes before “throwing up”. Make dry heaving noises and groan a bit until you make a clear puking sound. Dump part of the mixture in the toilet.
   • Don’t go out of your way to show your parents the fake vomit, this will be a strong clue that you’re faking.
5. ”Throw up” a few more times over the next two hours. If you throw up too often, your parents may become concerned that something is significantly wrong and take you to a doctor. As such, try to “throw up” no more than three times over the next two hours. This confirms you’re too sick to go to whatever event you’re trying to avoid without seeming too serious.
6. Rest up while you’re staying home. Unless both of your parents are away from home for the day, you have to be careful about keeping up your deception throughout the day. You’ll need to act like you’re severely tired and worn out. You’ll have to avoid eating, as this will be seen as a sign of improvement. Forget about seeing your friends that day as well. If you’re seen out and about and it gets back to your parents, you’ll be busted.

Pretending to Have a Fever or Cold

1. Complain of a headache. It’s hard even for doctors to determine when someone is just pretending to have a headache. Act like this headache is really keeping you down, making you tired and lethargic. A good way to sell a painful headache is to use symptoms typically associated with migraines: blurry vision and eye pain.
2. Pretend to sneeze. The purpose of a sneeze is to remove a blockage in your nose, like mucus caused by a cold. A fake sneeze takes a little bit of acting. You don’t want to exaggerate and simply shout “achoo”, but a sneeze should occur in two parts. A good sneeze starts with an inhale and finishes with a strong exhale.
   • As the sneeze is supposed to dislodge blockage, try to make it sound “wet” by pursing your lips.
   • You can also spit a bit into your armpit or hands to simulate residue.
3. Fake a cough. Try and replicate the last cough you had, but make sure you don’t overdo it. Go into coughing fits every so often; make sure you don’t set a pattern, sometimes cutting off your own sentences. Don’t go for a big hacking cough as it’s the easiest way to get found out.
4. Warm up your skin. The first step to pretending you have a fever is to make yourself warm to the touch. Many parents will just check your forehead with the back of their hands if you start complaining that you’re sick. Try the following to beat this test:
   • Use a hairdryer for a few minutes to warm up your forehead. Make sure you do this away from your parents so they can’t hear the noise.
   • Bury your face in the pillow and exhale several times. This will warm up the pillow and your face.
5. Beat the thermometer. If your parents are particularly skeptical, they might test for a fever with a thermometer. To convince your parents you have a fever, the thermometer needs to show a temperature at or above 100.4°F (38°C). Be careful not to go too high, as your parents might take you to the hospital. The method you use will depend on how trusting your parents are.
   • If your parents leave you alone with the thermometer, simply rub your thumb against the sensor until it reaches the right thermometer.
   • If your parents won’t leave you with the thermometer, excuse yourself to the bathroom. Gargle some hot water to raise the temperature in your mouth. Be careful not to burn yourself.

Tips

• Don't get caught eating too much, especially sugar and sweets.
• If you’re faking an illness, don't tell parents about the test that you'll be missing. They'll figure out something is up.

Warnings

• If your parents offer you medicine, accept it but don’t actually swallow it. Medicine can damage your system if used when you’re healthy.
• Be aware the above steps don’t guarantee you won’t get caught. Be ready to deal with the consequences if you are.

Sources and Citations

See also

• Stay Up Late Without Waking Your Parents
• Hide the Fact That You Smoke from Your Parents
• Stay up All Night Without Your Parents Knowing
• Convince Your Parents to Let You Stay Home from School
• Not Get Caught Playing Computer Games
• Be Secretive About Your Whereabouts To Your Parents
• Buy Something Without Your Parent's Permission
• Fool Your Parents Into Thinking You're Good
• Get out of Doing Homework
• Hide a Bad Grade or Report Card from Your Parents

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