Difference between revisions of "Get a Guy to Always Want to Talk to You"
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===Making First Connections=== | ===Making First Connections=== | ||
#Make a funny or playful observation to break the ice. One way to break the ice is to pay attention to what is going on around you. Find something in your environment that you can make a funny comment about. For example, if it is lunch and the food hasn’t arrived yet and you two are waiting outside in the heat, you can something silly like, “Do you think they going to get us water for this wait, or do they just want us to die?” Guys find playfulness attractive in girls, and it will give you something to make a little bond over. | #Make a funny or playful observation to break the ice. One way to break the ice is to pay attention to what is going on around you. Find something in your environment that you can make a funny comment about. For example, if it is lunch and the food hasn’t arrived yet and you two are waiting outside in the heat, you can something silly like, “Do you think they going to get us water for this wait, or do they just want us to die?” Guys find playfulness attractive in girls, and it will give you something to make a little bond over. | ||
| − | #*Even if you don’t think of yourself as a funny person, you can still be playful.<ref>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/9453842/Playful-people-more-attractive.html</ref> | + | #*Even if you don’t think of yourself as a funny person, you can still be playful.<ref name="rf7361">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/9453842/Playful-people-more-attractive.html</ref> |
#*This playfulness can help make the conversation fun and low pressure. | #*This playfulness can help make the conversation fun and low pressure. | ||
#*Remember that getting the conversation started is most important thing. Don’t worry too much about how the ice breaker goes. Focus instead on continuing your conversation. | #*Remember that getting the conversation started is most important thing. Don’t worry too much about how the ice breaker goes. Focus instead on continuing your conversation. | ||
| − | #Show him that you are enjoying yourself in conversation. One way to get a guy to like talking to you is if you seem like you are having a good time talking with him. A few ways you can show you are having fun is if you make eye contact, smile often, laugh genuinely, and lean forward slightly when you are talking. When you are talking, tilt your head to one side, smile and touch your hair, neck or clothes. But don’t over think it, just do what feels natural as well. Your nonverbal signals should just show him that you are having a good time.<ref>http://www.study-body-language.com/head-gestures.html</ref> | + | #Show him that you are enjoying yourself in conversation. One way to get a guy to like talking to you is if you seem like you are having a good time talking with him. A few ways you can show you are having fun is if you make eye contact, smile often, laugh genuinely, and lean forward slightly when you are talking. When you are talking, tilt your head to one side, smile and touch your hair, neck or clothes. But don’t over think it, just do what feels natural as well. Your nonverbal signals should just show him that you are having a good time.<ref name="rf8318">http://www.study-body-language.com/head-gestures.html</ref> |
#*Let him know you like messaging with him if you are mostly messaging. For example, you can say something like, “I think you’re pretty fun to text with.” | #*Let him know you like messaging with him if you are mostly messaging. For example, you can say something like, “I think you’re pretty fun to text with.” | ||
| − | #Be confident in who you are, and enjoy yourself in his company. Write down the things that make you awesome. Knowing why you are awesome and not being afraid to show it attracts others. <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-confident-be-confident/200909/seven-simple-strategies-effectively-attracting-others</ref> | + | #Be confident in who you are, and enjoy yourself in his company. Write down the things that make you awesome. Knowing why you are awesome and not being afraid to show it attracts others. <ref name="rf3530">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-confident-be-confident/200909/seven-simple-strategies-effectively-attracting-others</ref> |
#*Do not be afraid to make mistakes around him. Be authentic to the real you, quirks and all. Relax and laugh when you make mistakes, everyone does. | #*Do not be afraid to make mistakes around him. Be authentic to the real you, quirks and all. Relax and laugh when you make mistakes, everyone does. | ||
#*Do not act like someone you think that he would like instead of being yourself. Imagine if someone were acting in a certain way to please you, would you like that? Probably not. | #*Do not act like someone you think that he would like instead of being yourself. Imagine if someone were acting in a certain way to please you, would you like that? Probably not. | ||
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#Ask him his opinions on things that you have in common. After you have made your first connections, you want to continue messaging him and having conversations to keep the connection you have made with him strong. One way to make your connection stronger and keep your conversation interesting is to ask him his opinions on things. | #Ask him his opinions on things that you have in common. After you have made your first connections, you want to continue messaging him and having conversations to keep the connection you have made with him strong. One way to make your connection stronger and keep your conversation interesting is to ask him his opinions on things. | ||
#*Whatever you have in common, be it books, movies, food, etc, think about good questions to ask him that are open ended and will start interesting conversation. For example, if you both love Harry Potter, you can ask, “So what do you think is the best Harry Potter book?” And feel free to completely agree or disagree with him. These kinds of disagreements can lead to banter and can be pretty fun to have. | #*Whatever you have in common, be it books, movies, food, etc, think about good questions to ask him that are open ended and will start interesting conversation. For example, if you both love Harry Potter, you can ask, “So what do you think is the best Harry Potter book?” And feel free to completely agree or disagree with him. These kinds of disagreements can lead to banter and can be pretty fun to have. | ||
| − | #*You can start by telling him something that you have an opinion of and then ask his opinion on it. This question can also be related to the context of where you are or what you are doing. For example, if you are eating an apple at lunch, you could say, “I think that Granny Smith are the best apples period, but out of curiosity, what kind of apple is your favorite?” <ref>http://www.yourtango.com/experts/christine-baumgartner/get-his-attention-12-conversation-starters-women</ref> Once again, being playful is a good way to make your conversation more fun, especially when you are talking about simple topics and just getting your conversation going. | + | #*You can start by telling him something that you have an opinion of and then ask his opinion on it. This question can also be related to the context of where you are or what you are doing. For example, if you are eating an apple at lunch, you could say, “I think that Granny Smith are the best apples period, but out of curiosity, what kind of apple is your favorite?” <ref name="rf8316">http://www.yourtango.com/experts/christine-baumgartner/get-his-attention-12-conversation-starters-women</ref> Once again, being playful is a good way to make your conversation more fun, especially when you are talking about simple topics and just getting your conversation going. |
#*Come up with a few different questions you can ask him before you talk to him because topics of conversation can go more quickly than you realize. | #*Come up with a few different questions you can ask him before you talk to him because topics of conversation can go more quickly than you realize. | ||
#Playfully disagree and banter with him. He will want to keep talking to you if you have fun when you talk. An example of banter is if you raise an eyebrow when he tells you that his favorite apple is Red Delicious, and you say something silly like, “You are saying you like Red Delicious apples best? Well I guess we can’t all be perfect.” Guys like this kind of silly banter because it is low pressure and fun. Banter is great because you two don’t have to talk about anything in particular, but you are still making a connection. | #Playfully disagree and banter with him. He will want to keep talking to you if you have fun when you talk. An example of banter is if you raise an eyebrow when he tells you that his favorite apple is Red Delicious, and you say something silly like, “You are saying you like Red Delicious apples best? Well I guess we can’t all be perfect.” Guys like this kind of silly banter because it is low pressure and fun. Banter is great because you two don’t have to talk about anything in particular, but you are still making a connection. | ||
#*Practice bantering with your friends and family. Find silly things to disagree with them on. Playfully disagreeing can be good for your other relationships too. | #*Practice bantering with your friends and family. Find silly things to disagree with them on. Playfully disagreeing can be good for your other relationships too. | ||
#Avoid asking him questions he already knows the answer to. Try not to use small talk or getting to know you questions like “What’s going on?” or “So where are you from?”. These questions are not very interesting and you won’t learn much about him because he may give you an answer that he has already used many times before. You want him to come away from this conversation excited to talk to you again, so stay away from small talk. | #Avoid asking him questions he already knows the answer to. Try not to use small talk or getting to know you questions like “What’s going on?” or “So where are you from?”. These questions are not very interesting and you won’t learn much about him because he may give you an answer that he has already used many times before. You want him to come away from this conversation excited to talk to you again, so stay away from small talk. | ||
| − | #Boost his confidence. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, and if you can provide that for him, he will most likely want to keep talking to you. So get good at telling him why you like him with small, genuine compliments. You don’t have to make it a big deal- you can casually tell him why he is great. In fact, avoid making a big show of it. For example, while you are walking somewhere and if you notice he is usually good with directions, you can say “I like that you always seem to know how to get us where we are going.” <ref>http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/14515/1/How-to-Boost-the-Confidence-of-Others.html</ref> | + | #Boost his confidence. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, and if you can provide that for him, he will most likely want to keep talking to you. So get good at telling him why you like him with small, genuine compliments. You don’t have to make it a big deal- you can casually tell him why he is great. In fact, avoid making a big show of it. For example, while you are walking somewhere and if you notice he is usually good with directions, you can say “I like that you always seem to know how to get us where we are going.” <ref name="rf15844">http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/14515/1/How-to-Boost-the-Confidence-of-Others.html</ref> |
#Learn how and when to end a conversation. One way to keep your guy wanting to talk to you more is if you leave the conversation at the right time. The best way to end a conversation is to first find a place after you have made good connections and before the conversation has started to wind all the way down. Then think about why you need to get home, and after you have laughed or made a connection about something, let him know you need to get going. Make sure you tell him you really enjoyed yourself and look forward to talking to him again. | #Learn how and when to end a conversation. One way to keep your guy wanting to talk to you more is if you leave the conversation at the right time. The best way to end a conversation is to first find a place after you have made good connections and before the conversation has started to wind all the way down. Then think about why you need to get home, and after you have laughed or made a connection about something, let him know you need to get going. Make sure you tell him you really enjoyed yourself and look forward to talking to him again. | ||
#*Be casual and cool when you end the conversation. Say something like “Hey, it was so fun talking to you. I think I need to get home and get on my homework, but I really look forward to hanging out with you soon.” | #*Be casual and cool when you end the conversation. Say something like “Hey, it was so fun talking to you. I think I need to get home and get on my homework, but I really look forward to hanging out with you soon.” | ||
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#*These kinds of conversations are great to have at night. You should ask him questions about important times in his past, the important relationships in his life, and the things he cares about. | #*These kinds of conversations are great to have at night. You should ask him questions about important times in his past, the important relationships in his life, and the things he cares about. | ||
#*For example, you can ask him, “Which of your interests means the most to who you are, and why do you care so much about it?” Or ask him, “Who in your family do you think you are the closest with and why?”. These questions can be really simple but listening well will help you have a really meaningful conversation with him. | #*For example, you can ask him, “Which of your interests means the most to who you are, and why do you care so much about it?” Or ask him, “Who in your family do you think you are the closest with and why?”. These questions can be really simple but listening well will help you have a really meaningful conversation with him. | ||
| − | #Find a quiet place for a conversation where you won’t be interrupted. For your conversation, sit across from him or in a position where you can see his face and hear him well. Ask him questions about him and use the following listening skills to have a great conversation with him.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201404/why-you-stand-side-side-or-face-face</ref> | + | #Find a quiet place for a conversation where you won’t be interrupted. For your conversation, sit across from him or in a position where you can see his face and hear him well. Ask him questions about him and use the following listening skills to have a great conversation with him.<ref name="rf15845">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201404/why-you-stand-side-side-or-face-face</ref> |
#*Show him in your body posture that you are listening. Make eye contact, nod your head and react to him with small noises or gestures while he is speaking. | #*Show him in your body posture that you are listening. Make eye contact, nod your head and react to him with small noises or gestures while he is speaking. | ||
#*Give him the right amount of distance. If you stand too close, you may come off as overly interested and stifling while standing too far away will make you seem distant. Give him space to talk but position yourself so that you can hear and see him well. | #*Give him the right amount of distance. If you stand too close, you may come off as overly interested and stifling while standing too far away will make you seem distant. Give him space to talk but position yourself so that you can hear and see him well. | ||
