Difference between revisions of "Get Your Significant Other to Stop Wearing Ugly Clothes"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
=== Showing Them How to Improve Their Wardrobe === | === Showing Them How to Improve Their Wardrobe === | ||
| − | #Plan a shopping date for the two of you. Try to limit shopping to two hours and even people who have the highest phobias towards shopping will accommodate the activity. The use of the word “date” makes it sound more fun and implies less pressure than shopping because you’re not a fan of his or her style.<ref> http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-get-your-man-to-dress-better/</ref> | + | #Plan a shopping date for the two of you. Try to limit shopping to two hours and even people who have the highest phobias towards shopping will accommodate the activity. The use of the word “date” makes it sound more fun and implies less pressure than shopping because you’re not a fan of his or her style.<ref name="rf1"> http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-get-your-man-to-dress-better/</ref> |
| − | # Buy them clothes as “just because” presents. Don't bring them shopping with you if they hate shopping. Be sure to get their measurements to know exactly what sizes they are in shirts, pants, jackets, and shoes.<ref>http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-get-your-man-to-dress-better/</ref> Keep the tags on the things you buy and if they don't like it, return it. | + | # Buy them clothes as “just because” presents. Don't bring them shopping with you if they hate shopping. Be sure to get their measurements to know exactly what sizes they are in shirts, pants, jackets, and shoes.<ref name="rf2">http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-get-your-man-to-dress-better/</ref> Keep the tags on the things you buy and if they don't like it, return it. |
| − | #*Buy things that you feel matches their personality and style. Think about what they would feel comfortable in and make purchases accordingly.<ref | + | #*Buy things that you feel matches their personality and style. Think about what they would feel comfortable in and make purchases accordingly.<ref name="rf2" /> |
| − | #*Use items in their closets that they currently love. If you notice they are looking a little aged or worn, find suitable replacements for those items.<ref | + | #*Use items in their closets that they currently love. If you notice they are looking a little aged or worn, find suitable replacements for those items.<ref name="rf2" /> |
| − | # Compliment your partner when they're wearing nice clothes.<ref | + | # Compliment your partner when they're wearing nice clothes.<ref name="rf2" /> It’s a sign of positive reinforcement that is much more effective in encouraging him or her with wearing more of the things you like to see them in. A little extra affection won't hurt either. |
#*If your partner is wearing a shirt, a pair of jeans, or a dress that makes them look incredible, make it a point to voice that to them. Wrap your arms around him or her and pull them into a delicate kiss. Say something genuine that expresses you like what you see, “How am I going to keep my hands off of you when you look like this?” | #*If your partner is wearing a shirt, a pair of jeans, or a dress that makes them look incredible, make it a point to voice that to them. Wrap your arms around him or her and pull them into a delicate kiss. Say something genuine that expresses you like what you see, “How am I going to keep my hands off of you when you look like this?” | ||
#*Say what it is specifically about the article of clothing that you like. Your partner will get to know your tastes and might subconsciously cater dressing that way based on the response you gave them. If you think short sleeved tees on him make his arms and torso look more defined, say that. If you like the high waisted jeans she’s been wearing lately because they make her curves look even more apparent, say that too. | #*Say what it is specifically about the article of clothing that you like. Your partner will get to know your tastes and might subconsciously cater dressing that way based on the response you gave them. If you think short sleeved tees on him make his arms and torso look more defined, say that. If you like the high waisted jeans she’s been wearing lately because they make her curves look even more apparent, say that too. | ||
| − | #*Refrain from saying mean, overly sarcastic things that take a knock at what your partner is wearing. ”Oh wow, you’re wearing that hoodie again?” is a question you should stay away from, even if in a humorous tone.<ref>http://www.ravishly.com/2015/07/10/cuff-how-can-i-make-my-boyfriend-dress-better</ref> | + | #*Refrain from saying mean, overly sarcastic things that take a knock at what your partner is wearing. ”Oh wow, you’re wearing that hoodie again?” is a question you should stay away from, even if in a humorous tone.<ref name="rf3">http://www.ravishly.com/2015/07/10/cuff-how-can-i-make-my-boyfriend-dress-better</ref> |
| − | # Suggest streamlining both of you guys’ wardrobe. Because you’ve added newer pieces into his or her closet, suggest throwing out older pieces that might not match your newer looks. Donate what you throw out to a local secondhand store like Goodwill. <ref | + | # Suggest streamlining both of you guys’ wardrobe. Because you’ve added newer pieces into his or her closet, suggest throwing out older pieces that might not match your newer looks. Donate what you throw out to a local secondhand store like Goodwill. <ref name="rf2" /> |
#* Make sure to include things from your wardrobe in the donation box too to show that it is more about donating than it is about getting rid of his clothes. | #* Make sure to include things from your wardrobe in the donation box too to show that it is more about donating than it is about getting rid of his clothes. | ||
#*If your partner is at all resistant to throwing out their things, let it go. He or she might eventually be into it, especially if they see you conducting closet purges of your own. Again if not, let it go. It’s just a suggestion, not an effort of aggression. | #*If your partner is at all resistant to throwing out their things, let it go. He or she might eventually be into it, especially if they see you conducting closet purges of your own. Again if not, let it go. It’s just a suggestion, not an effort of aggression. | ||
=== Styling Your Partner to a Better Wardrobe === | === Styling Your Partner to a Better Wardrobe === | ||
| − | #Concentrate on the fit of the clothes. When you’re taking your partner shopping to help improve their wardrobe, remember that the key to having a great sense of style is how the person wears their clothes. Instead of believing a higher price tag means great style, guide them to clothes that fit. Steer clear of shirts or pants that might be too loose or dresses and skirts that are too tight. People not only look better, but also feel better when their clothes actually fit.<ref> http://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-dress-your-boyfriend-husband</ref> | + | #Concentrate on the fit of the clothes. When you’re taking your partner shopping to help improve their wardrobe, remember that the key to having a great sense of style is how the person wears their clothes. Instead of believing a higher price tag means great style, guide them to clothes that fit. Steer clear of shirts or pants that might be too loose or dresses and skirts that are too tight. People not only look better, but also feel better when their clothes actually fit.<ref name="rf4"> http://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-dress-your-boyfriend-husband</ref> |
| − | #Lead them to a style that’s theirs and not yours. Helping your partner with their style does not mean they become your mannequin with no say about what they wear. The style they already have should act as a foundation to the looks you show and suggest they go with when you two shop for their closet.<ref>http://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-dress-your-boyfriend-husband</ref> | + | #Lead them to a style that’s theirs and not yours. Helping your partner with their style does not mean they become your mannequin with no say about what they wear. The style they already have should act as a foundation to the looks you show and suggest they go with when you two shop for their closet.<ref name="rf5">http://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-dress-your-boyfriend-husband</ref> |
| − | #*Although you’re styling your partner through your guidance, it is their personality that should drive the things you put them in. Consider how to get what’s on your partner’s outside to reflect what’s on their inside.<ref | + | #*Although you’re styling your partner through your guidance, it is their personality that should drive the things you put them in. Consider how to get what’s on your partner’s outside to reflect what’s on their inside.<ref name="rf4" /> |
#*For example, if your partner is into a sporty aesthetic, think of ways to elevate that initial sense of style. Instead of wearing strictly sweatpants, show them that a graphic jersey tee that has a sporty look to it without being sporty in a literal sense is a great way to take that old closet staple up a to the next level with a new look. Pair that with jeans and some clean sneakers or boots. | #*For example, if your partner is into a sporty aesthetic, think of ways to elevate that initial sense of style. Instead of wearing strictly sweatpants, show them that a graphic jersey tee that has a sporty look to it without being sporty in a literal sense is a great way to take that old closet staple up a to the next level with a new look. Pair that with jeans and some clean sneakers or boots. | ||
| − | #Include shoes in your attempts to put together looks. Sometimes the footwear is forgotten about when putting together tops and bottoms, but they are actually a very integral part of a great outfit. Suggest to your partner that their shoe collection boasts the inclusion of classic shoes like Toms, Nikes, or Converses. For dressier events, oxfords, heels, or a great boot are other ways to be classic and stylish at the same time.<ref | + | #Include shoes in your attempts to put together looks. Sometimes the footwear is forgotten about when putting together tops and bottoms, but they are actually a very integral part of a great outfit. Suggest to your partner that their shoe collection boasts the inclusion of classic shoes like Toms, Nikes, or Converses. For dressier events, oxfords, heels, or a great boot are other ways to be classic and stylish at the same time.<ref name="rf4" /> |
| − | #Pay attention to details and add finishing touches. Whether your partner has decided to take you up on your style advice or not, it’s worth it to suggest that they incorporate details in a way to emulate their style.<ref | + | #Pay attention to details and add finishing touches. Whether your partner has decided to take you up on your style advice or not, it’s worth it to suggest that they incorporate details in a way to emulate their style.<ref name="rf4" /> Propose that they include personality in their outfits by adding ties, a watch, jewelry, and/or a hat. |
=== Becoming More Accepting of Their Style === | === Becoming More Accepting of Their Style === | ||
| − | # Encourage their [[Create Your Own Dress Style|sense of style]]. If they stubbornly cling to their clothing choices, find a way to respect that. Don’t feel the need to offer disingenuous compliments, and instead, focus on the things you like about their style. Offer positive reinforcement by paying special attention to those details.<ref> http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-08-06/what-to-do-if-you-hate-the-way-your-partner-dresses/</ref> | + | # Encourage their [[Create Your Own Dress Style|sense of style]]. If they stubbornly cling to their clothing choices, find a way to respect that. Don’t feel the need to offer disingenuous compliments, and instead, focus on the things you like about their style. Offer positive reinforcement by paying special attention to those details.<ref name="rf6"> http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-08-06/what-to-do-if-you-hate-the-way-your-partner-dresses/</ref> |
| − | #*Be specific about things you like about outfits you might ordinarily want to insult. If she’s wearing a dress you don’t particularly care for, touch on aspects about it that you do like. Is it the way it shows off her legs or the way it accentuates her hips? Mention those things.<ref | + | #*Be specific about things you like about outfits you might ordinarily want to insult. If she’s wearing a dress you don’t particularly care for, touch on aspects about it that you do like. Is it the way it shows off her legs or the way it accentuates her hips? Mention those things.<ref name="rf6" /> |
#*For men with style that could be worked on, ignore the graphic tee with too many holes that you hate, direct your attention to the way it shows off his arms or focus on the lower part of the outfit: his jeans. Find something you like about it and mention it. | #*For men with style that could be worked on, ignore the graphic tee with too many holes that you hate, direct your attention to the way it shows off his arms or focus on the lower part of the outfit: his jeans. Find something you like about it and mention it. | ||
| − | #Ask questions about their style. When your partner wears something that you don’t like, distance yourself from using questions like, “You’re wearing that?” and instead ask honest, thoughtful questions that might help you better understand them and their clothing choices.<ref> http://www.ravishly.com/2015/07/10/cuff-how-can-i-make-my-boyfriend-dress-better</ref> That way your questions sound more interested than judging. | + | #Ask questions about their style. When your partner wears something that you don’t like, distance yourself from using questions like, “You’re wearing that?” and instead ask honest, thoughtful questions that might help you better understand them and their clothing choices.<ref name="rf7"> http://www.ravishly.com/2015/07/10/cuff-how-can-i-make-my-boyfriend-dress-better</ref> That way your questions sound more interested than judging. |
#*For most people, their personal style is an extension of who they are. Ask questions that touch on that feeling. “Whose personal style do you most admire?”, “What is it about your favorite item that draws you to it?”, or “Do certain types of clothing make you feel more or less confident? Why?” | #*For most people, their personal style is an extension of who they are. Ask questions that touch on that feeling. “Whose personal style do you most admire?”, “What is it about your favorite item that draws you to it?”, or “Do certain types of clothing make you feel more or less confident? Why?” | ||
| − | #*Have an open mind to the answers he or she gives you, really listen to them, and get a better understanding of the things that inspire their clothing selections.<ref | + | #*Have an open mind to the answers he or she gives you, really listen to them, and get a better understanding of the things that inspire their clothing selections.<ref name="rf7" /> |
| − | #Offer help only when it’s requested. Don’t be pushy about sharing fashion tips and tricks. Wait for him or her to come to you about wanting to take their style to the next level. Them feeling like it is their decision to upgrade their wardrobe is a great way to not alienate them about what they like or find stylish.<ref | + | #Offer help only when it’s requested. Don’t be pushy about sharing fashion tips and tricks. Wait for him or her to come to you about wanting to take their style to the next level. Them feeling like it is their decision to upgrade their wardrobe is a great way to not alienate them about what they like or find stylish.<ref name="rf7" /> |
| − | #*If your partner comes to you and ask you to help them pick a couple of items, go for it. Do a little personal shopping for them and see if they like anything you’ve chosen for them. Again, if they don’t, be understanding.<ref | + | #*If your partner comes to you and ask you to help them pick a couple of items, go for it. Do a little personal shopping for them and see if they like anything you’ve chosen for them. Again, if they don’t, be understanding.<ref name="rf7" /> |
#*If they are not into the idea of changing up their looks, accept it and respect it as their decision. | #*If they are not into the idea of changing up their looks, accept it and respect it as their decision. | ||
| − | #Intervene in wardrobe selections only when necessary. In other words, choose your battles wisely. Since you’re making it a point to be respectful of your partner’s clothing choices, only make style choices for them when it’s absolutely necessary. If they enjoy wearing what they want to wear on an everyday basis to do chores or to hang out with friends or to run errands, let them be. But if it’s an important occasion, like a friend’s wedding or a networking event and their trying to wear what they normally wear – you might have to say something about it.<ref | + | #Intervene in wardrobe selections only when necessary. In other words, choose your battles wisely. Since you’re making it a point to be respectful of your partner’s clothing choices, only make style choices for them when it’s absolutely necessary. If they enjoy wearing what they want to wear on an everyday basis to do chores or to hang out with friends or to run errands, let them be. But if it’s an important occasion, like a friend’s wedding or a networking event and their trying to wear what they normally wear – you might have to say something about it.<ref name="rf7" /> |
#*Make exceptions for special occasions where you feel like the clothing choice they’ve made is disrespectful or one that goes completely against what the occasion calls for (casual at a formal event). | #*Make exceptions for special occasions where you feel like the clothing choice they’ve made is disrespectful or one that goes completely against what the occasion calls for (casual at a formal event). | ||
| − | #*Give context about their outfits when appropriate. This goes in situations where they might be too informal for a formal event, as well as in situations where you feel like cutting back on their sense of style might be best. For example, if they are dressed too “quirky” for a job interview. They shouldn’t mind it if you voice an issue like this every once in a while.<ref | + | #*Give context about their outfits when appropriate. This goes in situations where they might be too informal for a formal event, as well as in situations where you feel like cutting back on their sense of style might be best. For example, if they are dressed too “quirky” for a job interview. They shouldn’t mind it if you voice an issue like this every once in a while.<ref name="rf7" /> |
| − | #Respect how they dress themselves every day. If you are a control freak about the way your partner looks, this is the step you need to employ the most. Refrain from micromanaging your partner’s wardrobe. Respect the boundaries you’ve established between your wardrobe choices and respect the fact that your partner is an adult.<ref | + | #Respect how they dress themselves every day. If you are a control freak about the way your partner looks, this is the step you need to employ the most. Refrain from micromanaging your partner’s wardrobe. Respect the boundaries you’ve established between your wardrobe choices and respect the fact that your partner is an adult.<ref name="rf7" /> |
#*Do not pick outfits for them to wear every single night. You are not your significant other’s parent or their keeper as far as their outfit choices go. | #*Do not pick outfits for them to wear every single night. You are not your significant other’s parent or their keeper as far as their outfit choices go. | ||
#*Do not take it upon yourself to get rid of a pair of ripped, holey jeans that you know is your partner’s go-to jeans to wear. Do not get rid of the skirt you feel hikes up too much in the back while your partner walks. It’s not your place to decide what gets thrown out of their closet, especially if they don’t ask you to. | #*Do not take it upon yourself to get rid of a pair of ripped, holey jeans that you know is your partner’s go-to jeans to wear. Do not get rid of the skirt you feel hikes up too much in the back while your partner walks. It’s not your place to decide what gets thrown out of their closet, especially if they don’t ask you to. | ||
