Difference between revisions of "Get Over a Guy"
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#*Take up a new hobby. Always wanted to learn how to belly dance? Interested in photography? Now's the time to immerse yourself in a new activity that will keep your mind occupied and help you explore an interest and develop new skills. | #*Take up a new hobby. Always wanted to learn how to belly dance? Interested in photography? Now's the time to immerse yourself in a new activity that will keep your mind occupied and help you explore an interest and develop new skills. | ||
#*Volunteer. Search craigslist for volunteer opportunities or visit sites such as OneBrick.org, Sparked.com or Kiva.org. Or simply contact local homeless shelters, animal rescue organizations, schools or churches. | #*Volunteer. Search craigslist for volunteer opportunities or visit sites such as OneBrick.org, Sparked.com or Kiva.org. Or simply contact local homeless shelters, animal rescue organizations, schools or churches. | ||
| − | #**Not only does volunteering help others, it takes you outside of yourself and activates your brain’s reward centers. In addition, research shows that altruistic behavior makes you more attractive to new romantic partners. <ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positively-media/201301/social-media-doesnt-have-make-breaking-harder-do</ref> That's a win-win. | + | #**Not only does volunteering help others, it takes you outside of yourself and activates your brain’s reward centers. In addition, research shows that altruistic behavior makes you more attractive to new romantic partners. <ref name="rf1">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positively-media/201301/social-media-doesnt-have-make-breaking-harder-do</ref> That's a win-win. |
#*Throw away unwanted souvenirs from your relationship. Discard photos, letters he sent and gifts he gave you. If you're not sure that you're ready to let it go, stash it all in a box and out of sight. | #*Throw away unwanted souvenirs from your relationship. Discard photos, letters he sent and gifts he gave you. If you're not sure that you're ready to let it go, stash it all in a box and out of sight. | ||
#**If you have emails your ex sent you, delete them. If you think there might be a correspondence or two you want to save, create a folder, put all emails inside and plan to review them later. | #**If you have emails your ex sent you, delete them. If you think there might be a correspondence or two you want to save, create a folder, put all emails inside and plan to review them later. | ||
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#Let it out. Keeping your emotions bottled up can prolong the pain you feel. This is the time to reach out to friends and family members who are good listeners. Or if you're not much of a talker, you can share your thoughts in a journal or blog. | #Let it out. Keeping your emotions bottled up can prolong the pain you feel. This is the time to reach out to friends and family members who are good listeners. Or if you're not much of a talker, you can share your thoughts in a journal or blog. | ||
#*Talk to someone you trust. Turn to your mom, your grandma, your aunt, even your cousin or best friend. Sharing your feelings and knowing that someone else understands what you're going through can ease the burden of your grief. | #*Talk to someone you trust. Turn to your mom, your grandma, your aunt, even your cousin or best friend. Sharing your feelings and knowing that someone else understands what you're going through can ease the burden of your grief. | ||
| − | #*Have an imaginary conversation with your ex. One study showed that people who had imaginary conversations and then said goodbye to their partner had more relief from grief than those who didn't. <ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-true-love/200909/relationship-advice-breaking-hurts-real-and-how-recover-faster</ref> | + | #*Have an imaginary conversation with your ex. One study showed that people who had imaginary conversations and then said goodbye to their partner had more relief from grief than those who didn't. <ref name="rf2">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-true-love/200909/relationship-advice-breaking-hurts-real-and-how-recover-faster</ref> |
#*Write a letter to your ex--but don't send it. Rather than fuming about what you should have said and what you'd say now if you ran into your ex, commit those thoughts and feelings to paper. Don't worry about being terribly coherent, and good grammar and spelling certainly don't count here. The idea is to get the anger, sadness, resentment and whatever other emotions out of your system and onto paper. | #*Write a letter to your ex--but don't send it. Rather than fuming about what you should have said and what you'd say now if you ran into your ex, commit those thoughts and feelings to paper. Don't worry about being terribly coherent, and good grammar and spelling certainly don't count here. The idea is to get the anger, sadness, resentment and whatever other emotions out of your system and onto paper. | ||
| − | #Curse if you want to. It turns out that using bad language may benefit you by reducing your pain. A study published in NeuroReport showed a link between cursing and pain reduction. <ref>http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear</ref> | + | #Curse if you want to. It turns out that using bad language may benefit you by reducing your pain. A study published in NeuroReport showed a link between cursing and pain reduction. <ref name="rf3">http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear</ref> |
#Tap into your spiritual side. Whatever form it may take, turning to a spiritual practice can help you find peace in the midst of the turmoil caused by a breakup. | #Tap into your spiritual side. Whatever form it may take, turning to a spiritual practice can help you find peace in the midst of the turmoil caused by a breakup. | ||
| − | #*In a grief study reported in the British Medical Journal, researchers found that people who have strong spiritual beliefs seem to resolve grief more rapidly and completely than those with no beliefs.<ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/good-grief-coping-after-loss</ref> | + | #*In a grief study reported in the British Medical Journal, researchers found that people who have strong spiritual beliefs seem to resolve grief more rapidly and completely than those with no beliefs.<ref name="rf4">http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200303/good-grief-coping-after-loss</ref> |
| − | #*Try meditation. Every major world religion has some form of contemplative practice with a meditative component,<ref>http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/meditation/meditation</ref> so choose the one that suits you best. These include yoga, Tai chi, prayer, Qigong and transcendental meditation to name a few. | + | #*Try meditation. Every major world religion has some form of contemplative practice with a meditative component,<ref name="rf5">http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/meditation/meditation</ref> so choose the one that suits you best. These include yoga, Tai chi, prayer, Qigong and transcendental meditation to name a few. |
| − | #See a professional if you're unable to make an emotional recovery. Women who hadn't gotten over a relationship by 16 weeks after a breakup had decreased brain activity in the regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention. In other words, their brains physically changed, which explains the inability to concentrate and to get up and go. Do not let yourself go this length of time without intervention. <ref | + | #See a professional if you're unable to make an emotional recovery. Women who hadn't gotten over a relationship by 16 weeks after a breakup had decreased brain activity in the regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention. In other words, their brains physically changed, which explains the inability to concentrate and to get up and go. Do not let yourself go this length of time without intervention. <ref name="rf2" /> |
===Move On=== | ===Move On=== | ||
#Spend time with friends. Your friends will be there for you no matter what your relationship status, and it's good to take some time to appreciate them and reconnect. Make a plan to have lunch, go to a club, hit the mall--whatever you enjoy. | #Spend time with friends. Your friends will be there for you no matter what your relationship status, and it's good to take some time to appreciate them and reconnect. Make a plan to have lunch, go to a club, hit the mall--whatever you enjoy. | ||
#Create an uplifting playlist. Listening to music causes your brain to release dopamine--a feel-good chemical. Put together a playlist of songs that inspire you, make you smile and cause you to get up and dance. | #Create an uplifting playlist. Listening to music causes your brain to release dopamine--a feel-good chemical. Put together a playlist of songs that inspire you, make you smile and cause you to get up and dance. | ||
| − | #*Choose songs with a message of empowerment. Cosmopolitan Magazine listed these tunes on a list of songs that can help you get over a breakup. <ref>http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/best-breakup-songs#slide-1</ref> | + | #*Choose songs with a message of empowerment. Cosmopolitan Magazine listed these tunes on a list of songs that can help you get over a breakup. <ref name="rf6">http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/best-breakup-songs#slide-1</ref> |
#**"Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson | #**"Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson | ||
#**"Forget You," Cee Lo Green | #**"Forget You," Cee Lo Green | ||
