Difference between revisions of "Flirt With a Shy Guy"
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#*[[Flirt|Flirt]] with him by asking for his help with something. A lot of guys do feel comfortable with being the person who helps out. Consider it their inner knight coming to the surface. | #*[[Flirt|Flirt]] with him by asking for his help with something. A lot of guys do feel comfortable with being the person who helps out. Consider it their inner knight coming to the surface. | ||
#*Whether it’s help with your car, a math equation, or a stuck locker room door, ask if he can help you out. Don’t ask him for help with emotional problems, though, at this point. | #*Whether it’s help with your car, a math equation, or a stuck locker room door, ask if he can help you out. Don’t ask him for help with emotional problems, though, at this point. | ||
| − | #Compliment him. Everyone likes to be complimented. It’s human nature. A shy guy is going to be no different.<ref>http://lovein90days.com/flirting-tips-shy-guy/</ref> | + | #Compliment him. Everyone likes to be complimented. It’s human nature. A shy guy is going to be no different.<ref name="rf1">http://lovein90days.com/flirting-tips-shy-guy/</ref> |
#*So point out you like the color of his shirt. Or that you like his new jeans or his haircut or the way he thinks. | #*So point out you like the color of his shirt. Or that you like his new jeans or his haircut or the way he thinks. | ||
#*Don’t just point out his physical appearance, point out an attribute about him that you like. Perhaps it’s his loyalty or how smart he is at a certain subject. | #*Don’t just point out his physical appearance, point out an attribute about him that you like. Perhaps it’s his loyalty or how smart he is at a certain subject. | ||
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===Using Non Verbal Communication with a Shy Guy=== | ===Using Non Verbal Communication with a Shy Guy=== | ||
#Use positive body language. Some shy guys are observant and likely to pick up on the smallest signals of flirtation that others might miss. | #Use positive body language. Some shy guys are observant and likely to pick up on the smallest signals of flirtation that others might miss. | ||
| − | #*Play to this strength of his by using body language to flirt with him and communicate that you like him. People’s body language can convey interest or disinterest in another person. Lean forward and make eye contact with him.<ref>http://www.beyondtalk.net/is-a-guy-interested/</ref> | + | #*Play to this strength of his by using body language to flirt with him and communicate that you like him. People’s body language can convey interest or disinterest in another person. Lean forward and make eye contact with him.<ref name="rf2">http://www.beyondtalk.net/is-a-guy-interested/</ref> |
#*To communicate interest, keep your body language open. Smile when you see him. Smile a lot and big. Look him directly in the eyes when you first smile, and then quickly glance away, looking down while still smiling. | #*To communicate interest, keep your body language open. Smile when you see him. Smile a lot and big. Look him directly in the eyes when you first smile, and then quickly glance away, looking down while still smiling. | ||
#*When talking to him, keep your feet pointed toward him not away from him. Don’t crowd his space too much, but square your body toward his. Laugh at his jokes. | #*When talking to him, keep your feet pointed toward him not away from him. Don’t crowd his space too much, but square your body toward his. Laugh at his jokes. | ||
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#*If you pursue him too aggressively, he might back away, so do this subtly. The art of flirtatiousness is to remain a little mysterious while still accessible. | #*If you pursue him too aggressively, he might back away, so do this subtly. The art of flirtatiousness is to remain a little mysterious while still accessible. | ||
#Flirt in writing first. It’s a sign a shy guy likes you if he communicates with you by text or email a lot, but doesn’t talk to you. His friends might tease him when you’re around because they know he likes you. | #Flirt in writing first. It’s a sign a shy guy likes you if he communicates with you by text or email a lot, but doesn’t talk to you. His friends might tease him when you’re around because they know he likes you. | ||
| − | #*That might just mean that he’s less comfortable with verbal communication. Reach him through pathways that are in his zone of comfort. Some shy guys are deep thinkers who may respect wordplay.<ref>http://www.mensxp.com/relationships/impress-a-girl/29424-7-flirting-tips-for-the-shy-guy-that-will-majorly-improve-your-game-this-valentine-s-season.html</ref> | + | #*That might just mean that he’s less comfortable with verbal communication. Reach him through pathways that are in his zone of comfort. Some shy guys are deep thinkers who may respect wordplay.<ref name="rf3">http://www.mensxp.com/relationships/impress-a-girl/29424-7-flirting-tips-for-the-shy-guy-that-will-majorly-improve-your-game-this-valentine-s-season.html</ref> |
#*In addition to texting and writing him, click like on his pictures on Facebook or add a breezy and positive comment to a post he’s made. | #*In addition to texting and writing him, click like on his pictures on Facebook or add a breezy and positive comment to a post he’s made. | ||
#*Use [[Type Emoticons|emojis]] to flirt. Don’t be afraid to text him something first, just keep it light. Can you believe how hard that assignment was? Could be a good opening. Send him a friend request. | #*Use [[Type Emoticons|emojis]] to flirt. Don’t be afraid to text him something first, just keep it light. Can you believe how hard that assignment was? Could be a good opening. Send him a friend request. | ||
| − | #Hang around him. In order to , make sure you’re around him more often, just do it in a subtle manner.<ref>http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/02/how-to-crack-the-shy-guy/</ref> | + | #Hang around him. In order to , make sure you’re around him more often, just do it in a subtle manner.<ref name="rf4">http://collegecandy.com/2009/05/02/how-to-crack-the-shy-guy/</ref> |
#*Sit a little closer to his table in the lunchroom, for example. If you know he walks his dog in the park every morning at a certain time, go jogging there. | #*Sit a little closer to his table in the lunchroom, for example. If you know he walks his dog in the park every morning at a certain time, go jogging there. | ||
#*Put yourself in situations where you can easily strike up a conversation. Sit just beneath him at an athletic event or school dance, for example. | #*Put yourself in situations where you can easily strike up a conversation. Sit just beneath him at an athletic event or school dance, for example. | ||
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#Approach him individually. If he’s a shy guy, then he’s probably uncomfortable in large groups of people, especially those he doesn’t know. | #Approach him individually. If he’s a shy guy, then he’s probably uncomfortable in large groups of people, especially those he doesn’t know. | ||
#*That’s especially true of the girlfriends of the girl he might secretly like (you). You’ll have to get him to open up to you by flirting with him one-on-one. | #*That’s especially true of the girlfriends of the girl he might secretly like (you). You’ll have to get him to open up to you by flirting with him one-on-one. | ||
| − | #*Shy guys are going to withdraw more if you always come around hanging with a pack of girlfriends. Separate from the herd!<ref>http://slism.com/girlstalk/how-to-flirt-with-a-shy-guy.html</ref> | + | #*Shy guys are going to withdraw more if you always come around hanging with a pack of girlfriends. Separate from the herd!<ref name="rf5">http://slism.com/girlstalk/how-to-flirt-with-a-shy-guy.html</ref> |
#*Approach him in a setting where your flirting won’t be on display: by his locker room, as he’s walking to his car, and so forth, not in the lunchroom where he’s also sitting with others. If he’s an older shy guy out of high school, the same applies. | #*Approach him in a setting where your flirting won’t be on display: by his locker room, as he’s walking to his car, and so forth, not in the lunchroom where he’s also sitting with others. If he’s an older shy guy out of high school, the same applies. | ||
#Stay in his comfort zone. To , don’t make it too obvious. There’s no magic equation you need to know or master. Just be yourself. | #Stay in his comfort zone. To , don’t make it too obvious. There’s no magic equation you need to know or master. Just be yourself. | ||
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#*The goal here is to not act too obvious with your flirting. Flirting is really about showing interest in another person, and with a shy guy, you should start low key and friendly. | #*The goal here is to not act too obvious with your flirting. Flirting is really about showing interest in another person, and with a shy guy, you should start low key and friendly. | ||
#Recognize whether he’s into you. All of this is well and good, but one of the most difficult parts of flirting with a shy guy is trying to figure out whether he’s interested in you. | #Recognize whether he’s into you. All of this is well and good, but one of the most difficult parts of flirting with a shy guy is trying to figure out whether he’s interested in you. | ||
| − | #*If he gets nervous around you, by stammering or blushing or the like, he’s probably interested in you.<ref>http://womanitely.com/obvious-signs-guy-flirting/2/</ref> If he asks your friends about you, that’s a sign of interest.<ref | + | #*If he gets nervous around you, by stammering or blushing or the like, he’s probably interested in you.<ref name="rf6">http://womanitely.com/obvious-signs-guy-flirting/2/</ref> If he asks your friends about you, that’s a sign of interest.<ref name="rf3" /> |
#*Pay attention to his body language back. Does he use open body language to indicate he’s receptive to the flirting? A shy guy might feel intimidated around you. | #*Pay attention to his body language back. Does he use open body language to indicate he’s receptive to the flirting? A shy guy might feel intimidated around you. | ||
#*If he teases you, jokes, or acts silly around you, he probably likes you. This is a way that shy guys cover their unease and embarrassment. He might be shy but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s an[[Understand Introverted People| introvert]]. Introverts are personality types who gain energy through being alone. | #*If he teases you, jokes, or acts silly around you, he probably likes you. This is a way that shy guys cover their unease and embarrassment. He might be shy but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s an[[Understand Introverted People| introvert]]. Introverts are personality types who gain energy through being alone. | ||
#*If he goes silent around you, it’s not necessarily a sign of disinterest from a shy guy. The more he actually likes you, the more uneasy he will feel around you. | #*If he goes silent around you, it’s not necessarily a sign of disinterest from a shy guy. The more he actually likes you, the more uneasy he will feel around you. | ||
| − | #Be patient. Don’t give up on a shy guy too soon. It’s going to take a bit longer for him to pick up on and then acknowledge your cues.<ref>http://www.whatdomenreallythink.com/howto/approach-shy-guys.php</ref> | + | #Be patient. Don’t give up on a shy guy too soon. It’s going to take a bit longer for him to pick up on and then acknowledge your cues.<ref name="rf7">http://www.whatdomenreallythink.com/howto/approach-shy-guys.php</ref> |
#*It may very well be worth it in the end though because the shy guy doesn’t flirt with everyone. Thus, when you get him to flirt with you back, you’ll know it means something. | #*It may very well be worth it in the end though because the shy guy doesn’t flirt with everyone. Thus, when you get him to flirt with you back, you’ll know it means something. | ||
#*Don’t hesitate to be the person who initiates at first. You might even be the one who has to initiate the first date. Ask him somewhere casual at first, for coffee or to a movie. You might wait forever with a shy guy if you wait for him to make the first move. | #*Don’t hesitate to be the person who initiates at first. You might even be the one who has to initiate the first date. Ask him somewhere casual at first, for coffee or to a movie. You might wait forever with a shy guy if you wait for him to make the first move. | ||
