Difference between revisions of "Find Your Perfect Match"
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=== Putting Yourself Out There === | === Putting Yourself Out There === | ||
#Open up and start dating now. The sooner you pursue romance, the sooner you’ll find that special someone. It may be scary, but you have to start somewhere. | #Open up and start dating now. The sooner you pursue romance, the sooner you’ll find that special someone. It may be scary, but you have to start somewhere. | ||
| − | #*Start with something as little as changing your body language. Avoid slouching, crossing your legs and arms, and stiffness. If you pull your shoulders back and relax you become approachable. <ref>http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are#t-601466</ref> | + | #*Start with something as little as changing your body language. Avoid slouching, crossing your legs and arms, and stiffness. If you pull your shoulders back and relax you become approachable. <ref name="rf1">http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are#t-601466</ref> |
#*To break the ice and dive into the dating world, you could try finally going out with that acquaintance who's been crushing on you. | #*To break the ice and dive into the dating world, you could try finally going out with that acquaintance who's been crushing on you. | ||
#**You may not be totally interested in every person you date, but it will give you experience. | #**You may not be totally interested in every person you date, but it will give you experience. | ||
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#*Ask a colleague out for a casual drink after work. | #*Ask a colleague out for a casual drink after work. | ||
#Do something you’ve always wanted to do. You may meet someone special while doing something fulfilling. This special someone might not be your usual type, but that could bring you fresh experiences in love and life. | #Do something you’ve always wanted to do. You may meet someone special while doing something fulfilling. This special someone might not be your usual type, but that could bring you fresh experiences in love and life. | ||
| − | #*By trying new things together an unexpected and exciting love could blossom. There is a reason why the phrase “opposites attract” exists. <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201304/what-should-you-look-in-your-perfect-match</ref> | + | #*By trying new things together an unexpected and exciting love could blossom. There is a reason why the phrase “opposites attract” exists. <ref name="rf2">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201304/what-should-you-look-in-your-perfect-match</ref> |
#**For example, you enjoy skydiving and your date loves to read poetry at the park. The combination of a sense of adventure and an appreciation for simplicity could create a wonderful yin and yang. | #**For example, you enjoy skydiving and your date loves to read poetry at the park. The combination of a sense of adventure and an appreciation for simplicity could create a wonderful yin and yang. | ||
#Get an online dating profile. If you’re too busy or nervous to physically put yourself out there, try it digitally. Dating websites and apps make it easy to find people who share the same interests. With just the click of a button you could meet your special someone. | #Get an online dating profile. If you’re too busy or nervous to physically put yourself out there, try it digitally. Dating websites and apps make it easy to find people who share the same interests. With just the click of a button you could meet your special someone. | ||
| − | #*In this technological age, it is very common for couples find each other through dating websites and apps.<ref>http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/one-third-u-s-marriages-start-online-dating-study-article-1.1362743</ref> To find your perfect dating website or app, browse the internet using key words that best describe your identity. Many websites and apps cater to specific hobbies, careers, and philosophies: | + | #*In this technological age, it is very common for couples find each other through dating websites and apps.<ref name="rf3">http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/one-third-u-s-marriages-start-online-dating-study-article-1.1362743</ref> To find your perfect dating website or app, browse the internet using key words that best describe your identity. Many websites and apps cater to specific hobbies, careers, and philosophies: |
#**Hinge | #**Hinge | ||
#**Tinder | #**Tinder | ||
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#**Match.com | #**Match.com | ||
#**Eventsandadventures.com | #**Eventsandadventures.com | ||
| − | #Get a friend to set you up. The majority of couples still meet through their friends, so why not give it a try.<ref>http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303325204579463272000371990</ref> Ask someone you trust if they know anyone you might vibe with. When it comes to the trials of finding love, your friend may be the best judge. | + | #Get a friend to set you up. The majority of couples still meet through their friends, so why not give it a try.<ref name="rf4">http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303325204579463272000371990</ref> Ask someone you trust if they know anyone you might vibe with. When it comes to the trials of finding love, your friend may be the best judge. |
#*If you’re trying to talk to someone you like, your friends can be the best support system. They can help you get the conversation going, boost your ego and leave you to do the rest. | #*If you’re trying to talk to someone you like, your friends can be the best support system. They can help you get the conversation going, boost your ego and leave you to do the rest. | ||
#*Try going on a double date. You’ll probably be more comfortable in the presence of a friend and have a great time. | #*Try going on a double date. You’ll probably be more comfortable in the presence of a friend and have a great time. | ||
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=== Being Yourself === | === Being Yourself === | ||
#Be honest. Feel free to express your true opinions and personality. If your suitor sticks around, your company was found truly enjoyable. If another date doesn't come about, you may feel rejected, but this proves that you were just not meant to be. Being honest and being true to yourself can help you avoid wasting time while dating. | #Be honest. Feel free to express your true opinions and personality. If your suitor sticks around, your company was found truly enjoyable. If another date doesn't come about, you may feel rejected, but this proves that you were just not meant to be. Being honest and being true to yourself can help you avoid wasting time while dating. | ||
| − | #*Furthermore, acting the way you think your suitor wants you to act rather than being yourself can foster feelings of resentment, stress, and discomfort. These feelings do not set a solid foundation for a relationship.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200804/dare-be-yourself</ref> | + | #*Furthermore, acting the way you think your suitor wants you to act rather than being yourself can foster feelings of resentment, stress, and discomfort. These feelings do not set a solid foundation for a relationship.<ref name="rf5">https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200804/dare-be-yourself</ref> |
#Attend more events that interest you. You might find someone there who shares the interests and more! This event and the commonalities you have will create easy talking points, and might lead to a first date. | #Attend more events that interest you. You might find someone there who shares the interests and more! This event and the commonalities you have will create easy talking points, and might lead to a first date. | ||
#*If you love literature and art, join a book club or get active in the artistic community. | #*If you love literature and art, join a book club or get active in the artistic community. | ||
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#*Even if you don’t connect with anyone, you’re still doing something you love. | #*Even if you don’t connect with anyone, you’re still doing something you love. | ||
#Follow your instincts. Your suitor may not fit the ideal picture you had in mind, but if it feels right, pay attention to that. On the contrary, if there's anything that is disturbing to you, don't ignore the signs. | #Follow your instincts. Your suitor may not fit the ideal picture you had in mind, but if it feels right, pay attention to that. On the contrary, if there's anything that is disturbing to you, don't ignore the signs. | ||
| − | #*Your unconscious mind responds to situations that reflect your goals (in this case being romance), so it’s always good to trust your gut.<ref>http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2031848/Why-right-trust-gut-instincts-Scientists-discover-decision-IS-right-one.html</ref> | + | #*Your unconscious mind responds to situations that reflect your goals (in this case being romance), so it’s always good to trust your gut.<ref name="rf6">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2031848/Why-right-trust-gut-instincts-Scientists-discover-decision-IS-right-one.html</ref> |
=== Knowing What You Deserve === | === Knowing What You Deserve === | ||
#Make a list. Bullet point the negatives and the positives you find in your suitor. There should always be a longer list of positives if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. | #Make a list. Bullet point the negatives and the positives you find in your suitor. There should always be a longer list of positives if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. | ||
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#*After a fight take a look at the list. It may help you appreciate what you have, or realize what you're lacking. | #*After a fight take a look at the list. It may help you appreciate what you have, or realize what you're lacking. | ||
#*This is a great exercise to put your relationship into a logical perspective. It may come in handy in times of stress. You might realize it's not your partner making you miserable, it's actually, for example, your job or your diet. | #*This is a great exercise to put your relationship into a logical perspective. It may come in handy in times of stress. You might realize it's not your partner making you miserable, it's actually, for example, your job or your diet. | ||
| − | #Think about what you will gain. Your perfect match should complement your current status and help you flourish.<ref>http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20858888</ref>Relationships are not stagnant, they will roll and fluctuate with progression and regression. But ultimately you want to find your relationship make positive leaps and bounds. | + | #Think about what you will gain. Your perfect match should complement your current status and help you flourish.<ref name="rf7">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20858888</ref>Relationships are not stagnant, they will roll and fluctuate with progression and regression. But ultimately you want to find your relationship make positive leaps and bounds. |
#*Think about important aspects like: | #*Think about important aspects like: | ||
#**Does your suitor support your goals? | #**Does your suitor support your goals? | ||
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#*Think about what your suitor's relationships are like with their friends and family. Depending on circumstance, this could give you good insight into how your relationship might turn out. | #*Think about what your suitor's relationships are like with their friends and family. Depending on circumstance, this could give you good insight into how your relationship might turn out. | ||
=== Having Patience === | === Having Patience === | ||
| − | #Be confident. The quest to love is worth it and so are you! Confidence is attractive both physically and mentally, so boost your conviction and love who you are.<ref>http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/science/2168-science-explains-why-confidence-scores-you-dates/</ref> | + | #Be confident. The quest to love is worth it and so are you! Confidence is attractive both physically and mentally, so boost your conviction and love who you are.<ref name="rf8">http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/science/2168-science-explains-why-confidence-scores-you-dates/</ref> |
#*Confident people are great salespeople. You confidently market yourself and prove to others why you are worthwhile. | #*Confident people are great salespeople. You confidently market yourself and prove to others why you are worthwhile. | ||
| − | #*Furthermore, by having confidence in your date, your date will most likely like you too. We tend to like those who like us.<ref | + | #*Furthermore, by having confidence in your date, your date will most likely like you too. We tend to like those who like us.<ref name="rf8" /> |
| − | #Don’t give up. Don’t stop dating just because you haven’t found the one yet. More dates means more opportunities for love, it’s just statistics. Everything worth having is worth fighting for.<ref>http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/2004/10.21/07-brainbattle.html</ref> | + | #Don’t give up. Don’t stop dating just because you haven’t found the one yet. More dates means more opportunities for love, it’s just statistics. Everything worth having is worth fighting for.<ref name="rf9">http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/2004/10.21/07-brainbattle.html</ref> |
#*You may not fall in love on the first date, but you never know, it could happen on the second, 15th or even 100th date. | #*You may not fall in love on the first date, but you never know, it could happen on the second, 15th or even 100th date. | ||
| − | #Learn from mistakes. With a lot of dating can come a lot of mistakes, if not on your part then on your date's part. There's a lesson in every mistake, you just have to find it.<ref>https://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/how-the-brain-reacts-to-mistakes.html</ref> | + | #Learn from mistakes. With a lot of dating can come a lot of mistakes, if not on your part then on your date's part. There's a lesson in every mistake, you just have to find it.<ref name="rf10">https://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/how-the-brain-reacts-to-mistakes.html</ref> |
#*With each failed date or rejection you learn how to play the dating game better. | #*With each failed date or rejection you learn how to play the dating game better. | ||
#**You’ll be more aware of warning signs and red flags. | #**You’ll be more aware of warning signs and red flags. | ||
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#*You’ll discover more about yourself and what you really want out of life and a relationship. | #*You’ll discover more about yourself and what you really want out of life and a relationship. | ||
#Don’t let the love-hunt consume you. Make the effort to find your perfect match, but don’t let that become who you are. This could lead to settling for the wrong person. | #Don’t let the love-hunt consume you. Make the effort to find your perfect match, but don’t let that become who you are. This could lead to settling for the wrong person. | ||
| − | #*Others will recognize your joy in independence, individuality is attractive. <ref>http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11913832</ref> | + | #*Others will recognize your joy in independence, individuality is attractive. <ref name="rf11">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11913832</ref> |
== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
