Difference between revisions of "Find Happiness Within Yourself"

[[Category: Happiness & Optimism]]

#Try to spot any triggers that lead to either positive or negative thoughts. Maybe rainy days always put you in a bad mood, or thinking of tests always makes you think of failure. When you recognize these, you're in a position to challenge them and to try to alter your inner state.<ref name="rf1">http://ccvillage.buffalo.edu/Village/WC/wsc/outlines_and_handouts/feel_better_fast/hand05.html</ref> Instead of thinking about how rainy days put you in a bad mood, think positive thoughts like, "The plants in the garden could really use the rain water today."

#Set [[Write Personal Goals | meaningful goals for yourself]]. Take a hard look at your life. Examine your values. Think about the person you want to become. Use this to set goals that are meaningful to you. Research suggests people that do are more likely to happily achieve their goals.<ref name="rf2">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals</ref>

#* Be realistic. Acknowledge your situation and abilities when you’re planning.<ref name="rf3">http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/january/resolutions-succeed-mcgonigal-010615.html</ref>  

#Visualize your “best possible self.” This has been shown to increase feelings of happiness and well-being.<ref name="rf4">http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application_uploads/sheldon-SustainPositiveEmotion.pdf</reF> It involves visualizing how the “future you” looks after achieving your goals, and then picking out the characteristics you need to use/learn to get you where you want to be.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-matters-most/201303/what-is-your-best-possible-self</ref>

#Develop an optimistic outlook. Work on improving your perspective in a couple areas of your life at first. Pessimism often stems from feelings of helplessness. Identify some aspects you’d like to change in your life, then work on improving them. This will help restore trust in your ability to create change.<ref name="rf5">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201306/how-optimism-can-be-learned</ref>

#Practice active gratitude. This means making a point to be thankful. A multitude of research confirms that gratitude is good for you. It reduces anxiety and depression. Gratitude helps you to be positive and feel happy.<Ref>http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/5Watkins-GratitudeHappiness.pdf</reF> It strengthens relationships with others and encourages compassion.<ref name="rf6">http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf</ref><ref name="rf7">http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x/abstract</ref><ref name="rf8">http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#why_practice</ref><ref name="rf9">http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/Papers/Gratitude_CDPS_2008.pdf</ref>

#*Some people are grateful by nature, but you can train yourself to develop gratitude.<ref name="rf10">http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/5Watkins-GratitudeHappiness.pdf</ref>

#Forgive and forget. Prolific research suggests that forgiving can have serious benefits for the forgiver. Forgiving produces calmer feelings, and can have big impacts on well-being. Quelling stress caused by ruminating on negative feelings can help increase overall feelings of happiness.<ref name="rf11">http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/forgive-forget</ref> Don't just forgive others, remember to forgive yourself.

#Challenge your negative thoughts. Even if you have spent most of your life thinking negatively, you don’t have to continue being negative.  Whenever you have a negative thought, particularly an automatic negative thought, stop and evaluate<ref name="rf1" /> whether the thought is true or accurate.<ref name="rf12">http://www.healthlinkbc.ca/healthtopics/content.asp?hwid=uf9857</ref>

#Show yourself compassion. Beating yourself up can leave you feeling weak and unhappy. Dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings of guilt doesn’t promote improvement. It holds you back. Show yourself the kindness and generosity you might show a friend.<ref name="rf13">http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination</ref>

#Stop ruminating. Rumination is repeatedly thinking a negative thought. Moments, thoughts, things other people said repeat in your head to the point of obsession.<ref name="rf14">http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov05/cycle.aspx</ref> Rumination generates negative thoughts and emotions. The more you do it, the worse it gets. Ruminating excessively can contribute to feelings of depression. <ref name="rf15">http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/01/20/why-ruminating-is-unhealthy-and-how-to-stop/</ref>

#*Work to solve problems you're obsessing over.<ref name="rf15" /> Instead of thinking about it, take action. Change the situation, or talk to people who can.