Difference between revisions of "Defeat a Facebook Addiction"
m |
m (Text replacement - "[[Category: F" to "[[Category:F") |
||
| (5 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
| − | + | Probably the most widely used and known social networking site, almost half of Facebook's users visit it every day.<ref name="rf17405">David Disalvo, ''Are Social Networks Messing With Your Head?'', Vol 20, Issue 7, Scientific American Mind, pp. 48-50 (Jan-Feb 2010)</ref> And some of its users spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook, allowing the hours to wile away unnoticed, the chores to go uncompleted, and even going so far as to ignore family and friends in the actual world.<ref name="rf17406">Elizabeth Cohen, CNN Health, Five Signs that You Are Addicted to Facebook, http://articles.cnn.com/2009-04-23/health/ep.facebook.addict_1_facebook-page-facebook-world-social-networking?_s=PM:HEALTH</ref> | |
| − | While "Facebook addiction" or "Facebook addiction disorder" are not medically approved terms, the reality of addictive behaviors on Facebook are a growing problem for many Facebook users, and one that therapists are seeing more frequently in their patients.<ref | + | While "Facebook addiction" or "Facebook addiction disorder" are not medically approved terms, the reality of addictive behaviors on Facebook are a growing problem for many Facebook users, and one that therapists are seeing more frequently in their patients.<ref name="rf17406" /> |
If you've found that connecting, sharing, and learning via Facebook has taken over all avenues of communicating and learning in your life, it's possible that you're suffering from Facebook addiction. And [[Relax|relax]]! This article isn't about stopping your enjoyment of Facebook; rather, the aim here is to help you identify whether you're using Facebook in an addictive way, and help you to find more constructive ways to connect socially via Facebook. | If you've found that connecting, sharing, and learning via Facebook has taken over all avenues of communicating and learning in your life, it's possible that you're suffering from Facebook addiction. And [[Relax|relax]]! This article isn't about stopping your enjoyment of Facebook; rather, the aim here is to help you identify whether you're using Facebook in an addictive way, and help you to find more constructive ways to connect socially via Facebook. | ||
| Line 10: | Line 10: | ||
#*Nothing else thrills you or you feel "empty" without Facebook. All you want to do is spend time on Facebook, even to the exclusion of getting work done that needs to be done, or meeting family obligations. When not being on Facebook causes physical pain, sweats, illness and you're chomping at the leash to get back on it, your [[Explain Your Obsessions to Others|obsession]] has become an unhealthy one. | #*Nothing else thrills you or you feel "empty" without Facebook. All you want to do is spend time on Facebook, even to the exclusion of getting work done that needs to be done, or meeting family obligations. When not being on Facebook causes physical pain, sweats, illness and you're chomping at the leash to get back on it, your [[Explain Your Obsessions to Others|obsession]] has become an unhealthy one. | ||
#*You're not able to go for more than a day without using Facebook. If forced to do so, you find yourself suffering from Facebook "withdrawal" symptoms, such as finding nothing else interesting, trying to find ways to get back to Facebook even if it means using a computer that is either out of bounds (for example, not yours), or difficult to get to, or you find yourself intensely worried about missing out on Facebook updates. These are all very unhealthy signs. | #*You're not able to go for more than a day without using Facebook. If forced to do so, you find yourself suffering from Facebook "withdrawal" symptoms, such as finding nothing else interesting, trying to find ways to get back to Facebook even if it means using a computer that is either out of bounds (for example, not yours), or difficult to get to, or you find yourself intensely worried about missing out on Facebook updates. These are all very unhealthy signs. | ||
| − | #*Even if you're not on Facebook constantly (indicating you need a reality check), checking it many times during the day is a sign of compulsive behavior. Spending more than an hour on Facebook a day will easily cut into all the other obligations you have in life and may cause social dysfunction problems.<ref | + | #*Even if you're not on Facebook constantly (indicating you need a reality check), checking it many times during the day is a sign of compulsive behavior. Spending more than an hour on Facebook a day will easily cut into all the other obligations you have in life and may cause social dysfunction problems.<ref name="rf17406" /> |
#*Your real life isn't going so well and Facebook presents a fantasy escape life where everything seems unencumbered, neat, happy, and easy – all things that are the opposite of your everyday life. | #*Your real life isn't going so well and Facebook presents a fantasy escape life where everything seems unencumbered, neat, happy, and easy – all things that are the opposite of your everyday life. | ||
| − | #*Adequate sleep ceases to be important to you.<ref | + | #*Adequate sleep ceases to be important to you.<ref name="rf17406" /> Instead, you're prepared to stay up way too late just to be able to accommodate your Facebook neediness. After all, you excuse yourself, your friends might think it's remiss of you not to be around! |
| − | #*[[Deal With Teenage Depression and Nostalgia|Nostalgia]] has you in its grip. When Facebook starts becoming a way through which you're living in the past, it's a sign of needing to break from it.<ref | + | #*[[Deal With Teenage Depression and Nostalgia|Nostalgia]] has you in its grip. When Facebook starts becoming a way through which you're living in the past, it's a sign of needing to break from it.<ref name="rf17406" /> Rehashing old loves and [[Detox a Friendship|friendships]] with the hope that you can pinpoint the exact moment where your life should have taken a different turn and trying to patch it up through fantasizing over Facebook is looking backwards and beating yourself up over what didn't work out. Realize the importance of living in the here and now. This type of nostalgia is even more damaging if you have a loose tongue about the relationships you're actually in because other people will be reading your words and some may perceive them as a betrayal or as signs of an emotional affair. |
| − | #*You have tons of friends on Facebook but you still feel very [[Deal With Loneliness|lonely]].<ref>MSNBC, Loneliness can be contagious, new study finds, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34209727/ns/health-behavior/</ref> | + | #*You have tons of friends on Facebook but you still feel very [[Deal With Loneliness|lonely]].<ref name="rf17407">MSNBC, Loneliness can be contagious, new study finds, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34209727/ns/health-behavior/</ref> |
# Start questioning what you're doing on Facebook. Rather than simply going on Facebook and "falling under its spell", start consciously determining what you're really getting out of Facebook. Asking questions about its value to you in your own life's context is healthy, especially when you feel that you might have been overdoing it a bit. Whittle down to the things that bring real value, within a defined time limitation. Record what you're doing on Facebook for a week. Be diligent about this reality check task and don't spare yourself; buy a small notebook and devote time to its updating. Things in particular to keep an eye out for include: | # Start questioning what you're doing on Facebook. Rather than simply going on Facebook and "falling under its spell", start consciously determining what you're really getting out of Facebook. Asking questions about its value to you in your own life's context is healthy, especially when you feel that you might have been overdoing it a bit. Whittle down to the things that bring real value, within a defined time limitation. Record what you're doing on Facebook for a week. Be diligent about this reality check task and don't spare yourself; buy a small notebook and devote time to its updating. Things in particular to keep an eye out for include: | ||
#*If you're just checking in to respond to pokes, to see friends updating their profiles, to write a new note, or to see what songs your friends are adding, you're addicted to trivia. And letting trivia run your day is not conducive to a satisfying life long-term! | #*If you're just checking in to respond to pokes, to see friends updating their profiles, to write a new note, or to see what songs your friends are adding, you're addicted to trivia. And letting trivia run your day is not conducive to a satisfying life long-term! | ||
| Line 25: | Line 25: | ||
#*Do you feel [[Know When to Say No|obliged]] to respond to some people on Facebook even though you'd prefer not to? | #*Do you feel [[Know When to Say No|obliged]] to respond to some people on Facebook even though you'd prefer not to? | ||
#*Which parts of Facebook really do improve your personal and professional life? It can be helpful to list these for clarity, and to clear some of the negativity and the trivia. | #*Which parts of Facebook really do improve your personal and professional life? It can be helpful to list these for clarity, and to clear some of the negativity and the trivia. | ||
| − | # Try giving up Facebook for a specific event to see how you fare. This article is not advocating leaving Facebook entirely unless that's the choice you feel you want to take. However, it can be very advantageous to choose a special event and to decide that for the duration of that event, that you will not use Facebook at all. You can even warn your other Facebook friends that this event is coming up but whatever you do, stick to it. For example, some Facebook users take summer vacation breaks, some take a break for a religious observance such as [[Celebrate Lent|Lent]],<ref | + | # Try giving up Facebook for a specific event to see how you fare. This article is not advocating leaving Facebook entirely unless that's the choice you feel you want to take. However, it can be very advantageous to choose a special event and to decide that for the duration of that event, that you will not use Facebook at all. You can even warn your other Facebook friends that this event is coming up but whatever you do, stick to it. For example, some Facebook users take summer vacation breaks, some take a break for a religious observance such as [[Celebrate Lent|Lent]],<ref name="rf17406" /> and some people take breaks when special family events such as a [[Dress for an Outdoor Wedding|wedding]] or a birthday are coming up and they need to prepare, travel, be available for it, etc., without wanting to be distracted. |
#*Any well defined event carries significance for breaking a habit because they represent occasions during which you need to focus on other than yourself, whether it be faith, family, or some other important external matter. This can help to take you outside of any internal funk that has you glued to Facebook, as well as providing a set period during which you've [[Stop Breaking Promises|promised yourself]] that you won't use Facebook. During this break, reflect on your Facebook neediness and think through how to restore a more even-keeled approach to using Facebook. | #*Any well defined event carries significance for breaking a habit because they represent occasions during which you need to focus on other than yourself, whether it be faith, family, or some other important external matter. This can help to take you outside of any internal funk that has you glued to Facebook, as well as providing a set period during which you've [[Stop Breaking Promises|promised yourself]] that you won't use Facebook. During this break, reflect on your Facebook neediness and think through how to restore a more even-keeled approach to using Facebook. | ||
#*The good thing about telling your Facebook friends that you won't be on for a bit is that you've just burned a bridge that will cause you to "[[Face Reality|lose face]]" if you do sneak on. [[Be Strong|Be strong]] and give them the reassurance that you're one to keep your word. | #*The good thing about telling your Facebook friends that you won't be on for a bit is that you've just burned a bridge that will cause you to "[[Face Reality|lose face]]" if you do sneak on. [[Be Strong|Be strong]] and give them the reassurance that you're one to keep your word. | ||
| Line 31: | Line 31: | ||
#*Avoid fiddling with the periphery. Take a good look at your profile. Does it work for you or does it bother you? Changing a profile image over and over is a sign of worrying too much about your Facebook image. If the current image works, leave it be. If it bothers you, fix it right now, photo included. Why? Because once you fix it, be prepared to ''leave it alone'' for a long time. Keeping your profile stable will build trust in the online environment; not constantly trying to update it will spare you one more unnecessary fiddle on Facebook. | #*Avoid fiddling with the periphery. Take a good look at your profile. Does it work for you or does it bother you? Changing a profile image over and over is a sign of worrying too much about your Facebook image. If the current image works, leave it be. If it bothers you, fix it right now, photo included. Why? Because once you fix it, be prepared to ''leave it alone'' for a long time. Keeping your profile stable will build trust in the online environment; not constantly trying to update it will spare you one more unnecessary fiddle on Facebook. | ||
#*Stop changing your status frequently. Think "so what?" before attempting to do this. Every time you change it, it clogs up your friends' news feeds. Why do you feel compelled to announce your every move or [[Improve Your Mood|mood]] you are temporarily experiencing? It ceases to be of interest for others, and it's more unnecessary fiddling for you! | #*Stop changing your status frequently. Think "so what?" before attempting to do this. Every time you change it, it clogs up your friends' news feeds. Why do you feel compelled to announce your every move or [[Improve Your Mood|mood]] you are temporarily experiencing? It ceases to be of interest for others, and it's more unnecessary fiddling for you! | ||
| − | #*Think of how often you use [[Create a Facebook Application|Facebook applications]]. In order to use an application, you must install it on your account. And then use it; and many apps are compelling enough to draw users in for hours at a time.<ref>Michael Fenichel, Facebook Addiction Disorder, http://www.fenichel.com/facebook/</ref> Before adding any application ask yourself "How productive is this?" If it is worthless, think about what it's doing to your friends who get to be at the receiving end of your invitations to gain points, receive gifts, or to see results... Each time a person receives an invitation, they need to accept or ignore it. Don't be the cause of other people's fiddling. And make applications work for you, not the other way round; get rid of the ones that are sheer time-wasters or pointless. | + | #*Think of how often you use [[Create a Facebook Application|Facebook applications]]. In order to use an application, you must install it on your account. And then use it; and many apps are compelling enough to draw users in for hours at a time.<ref name="rf17408">Michael Fenichel, Facebook Addiction Disorder, http://www.fenichel.com/facebook/</ref> Before adding any application ask yourself "How productive is this?" If it is worthless, think about what it's doing to your friends who get to be at the receiving end of your invitations to gain points, receive gifts, or to see results... Each time a person receives an invitation, they need to accept or ignore it. Don't be the cause of other people's fiddling. And make applications work for you, not the other way round; get rid of the ones that are sheer time-wasters or pointless. |
| − | # Be careful of the race to have as many friends as possible. If you're driven to have more friends on Facebook than you can ever realistically engage with regularly, it's important to stop what is, effectively, a "friendship addiction".<ref>Facebook to blame for 'friendship addiction', Vol 19, Issue 9, Therapy Today, 17487846, (2008)</ref> Having more friends than you can realistically connect with can be a source of anxiety rather than pleasure. Enjoy the friends you already have on Facebook but weed out those who aren't adding anything to your Facebook experience. | + | # Be careful of the race to have as many friends as possible. If you're driven to have more friends on Facebook than you can ever realistically engage with regularly, it's important to stop what is, effectively, a "friendship addiction".<ref name="rf17409">Facebook to blame for 'friendship addiction', Vol 19, Issue 9, Therapy Today, 17487846, (2008)</ref> Having more friends than you can realistically connect with can be a source of anxiety rather than pleasure. Enjoy the friends you already have on Facebook but weed out those who aren't adding anything to your Facebook experience. |
| − | #*Given that Facebook almost compels you to add friends, if you're vulnerable to defining your self worth through the ''amount'' of friendships rather than the ''quality'' of them, then Facebook can be dangerous for you while you're recovering from any other sort of addiction or going through emotionally difficult times.<ref | + | #*Given that Facebook almost compels you to add friends, if you're vulnerable to defining your self worth through the ''amount'' of friendships rather than the ''quality'' of them, then Facebook can be dangerous for you while you're recovering from any other sort of addiction or going through emotionally difficult times.<ref name="rf17409" /> Resist the urge to add people you don't really know or want to engage with, and to cull those who mean very little to you from your friends list. |
| − | #*Beware of the potential of Facebook to increase a sense of [[Enjoy Loneliness|loneliness]] rather than assuage it. Spending time on Facebook rather than with face-to-face friends will increase any feelings of loneliness you may already have and ironically, the more people you're trying to keep apace with, the lonelier it'll seem because you'll end up with quantity rather than quality.<ref | + | #*Beware of the potential of Facebook to increase a sense of [[Enjoy Loneliness|loneliness]] rather than assuage it. Spending time on Facebook rather than with face-to-face friends will increase any feelings of loneliness you may already have and ironically, the more people you're trying to keep apace with, the lonelier it'll seem because you'll end up with quantity rather than quality.<ref name="rf17407" /> Switch from using Facebook as a substitute for friendships to using it as a way to energize and synergize the friendships you already have.<ref name="rf17407" /> |
# Avoid being a Facebook automaton. If you're caught saying, "I'll Facebook you later" or "I'm going to do some Facebooking", then you're well overdue for taking a break from the site to [[Hang Out with Your Best Friend|hang out with friends]] in the real world (or offline life). Every time you feel like saying "I'll Facebook you", check yourself and rephrase that with "I'll see you", or "I'll call you". And mean it - settle the catch-up time straight away... | # Avoid being a Facebook automaton. If you're caught saying, "I'll Facebook you later" or "I'm going to do some Facebooking", then you're well overdue for taking a break from the site to [[Hang Out with Your Best Friend|hang out with friends]] in the real world (or offline life). Every time you feel like saying "I'll Facebook you", check yourself and rephrase that with "I'll see you", or "I'll call you". And mean it - settle the catch-up time straight away... | ||
# Make it hard to go on Facebook. Ask someone to put password on your PC or laptop so you can´t go on Facebook. In an extreme case, delete your Facebook account. By knowing ahead that you will never go back to it, you find a way to enjoy other stuff you're doing in the present instead of being impatient and thinking "How much longer is it going to be till I check Facebook one more time?" | # Make it hard to go on Facebook. Ask someone to put password on your PC or laptop so you can´t go on Facebook. In an extreme case, delete your Facebook account. By knowing ahead that you will never go back to it, you find a way to enjoy other stuff you're doing in the present instead of being impatient and thinking "How much longer is it going to be till I check Facebook one more time?" | ||
| Line 43: | Line 43: | ||
*To hide a Facebook application addiction from your friends, click on the "Edit" next to the Application on the left hand side. Click on the "Edit Settings" of each application and un-check the "Mini Feed". This will disable the specific application's activity logged in your friends' News Feed and your Mini-Feed on your profile. This method is very helpful if you take a lot of movie quizzes. Of course, hiding your addiction isn't healthy, so it's far better if you can manage to rein it in. | *To hide a Facebook application addiction from your friends, click on the "Edit" next to the Application on the left hand side. Click on the "Edit Settings" of each application and un-check the "Mini Feed". This will disable the specific application's activity logged in your friends' News Feed and your Mini-Feed on your profile. This method is very helpful if you take a lot of movie quizzes. Of course, hiding your addiction isn't healthy, so it's far better if you can manage to rein it in. | ||
*To help you unplug, keep a [[Keep a Journal|journal]], either online, or, preferably, in a book that you can use away from the computer. If you feel an irresistible urge to post a new status update, write it in your journal instead, and then continue writing all the personal associations and feelings that a status update wouldn't have room for (or which would get you in trouble with friends and family). You will get to know yourself better and with much more depth--not just the superficial self you presented on social media. | *To help you unplug, keep a [[Keep a Journal|journal]], either online, or, preferably, in a book that you can use away from the computer. If you feel an irresistible urge to post a new status update, write it in your journal instead, and then continue writing all the personal associations and feelings that a status update wouldn't have room for (or which would get you in trouble with friends and family). You will get to know yourself better and with much more depth--not just the superficial self you presented on social media. | ||
| − | *Coincidentally, even some of the mental health professionals who are supposed to be able to help the rest of us spot our addictive online activities are themselves enthralled by them!<ref | + | *Coincidentally, even some of the mental health professionals who are supposed to be able to help the rest of us spot our addictive online activities are themselves enthralled by them!<ref name="rf17408" /> |
== Warnings == | == Warnings == | ||
