Difference between revisions of "Deal with Suicidal Parents"

#Realize that you are not responsible<ref name="rf1">http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/parenting</ref>. Although you want to help your parent, your parent's mental health is not your responsibility. Having a suicidal parent is stressful enough without adding any additional burden of responsibility. Help to the extent that you can, but recognize your limits. You can aid in recovery, but it is not your responsibility to heal your parent of his mental struggles; that is the role of a therapist or counselor.

#Take your parent seriously. Although this may seem obvious, it's important to show concern by asking questions if your parent talks about suicide. You won't cause additional harm by asking caring questions<ref name="rf2">http://www.dbsalliance.org/pdfs/suicidefinalweb04.pdf</ref>.

#*If all else fails, there are crisis hotlines your parent can call to have someone to talk to. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number is 1 (800) 273-8255<ref name="rf3">http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/</ref>. This service is freely available 24/7 and is confidential.

#Encourage your parent to pursue therapy. Whether the cause of feeling suicidal is mental illness or something else, entering therapy can provide the kind of relationship and safe space necessary for your parent to process those problematic feelings<ref name="rf4">https://www.afsp.org/preventing-suicide/treatment</ref>.

#*Interpersonal therapy is an evidence-based treatment that can assist in coping with personal relationships and help to assess and work on personality issues, reducing the desire to escape by committing suicide<ref name="rf5">http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/interpersonal-therapy-for-depression</ref>.

#Talk to your parent about psychiatric medication. Prescription medications exist for many of the primary causes of suicide, such as depression and mood disorders<ref name="rf4" />. Have him ask his healthcare professional about medication options.

#*Antidepressants can help with depression, although there may also be danger of increasing suicidal thoughts, so be sure to have your parent discuss this decision with a medical professional<ref name="rf6">http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/special-reports/relationship-between-antidepressant-initiation-and-suicide-risk</ref>.

#*Make sure your parent is following doctor's orders with regard to any medications he is already prescribed. Quitting psychiatric medication is a delicate process that should be coordinated with a healthcare professional. Being inconsistent in taking medication or trying to stop cold turkey can cause problems such as anxiety, irritability, fatigue, headaches, nausea, and dizziness<ref name="rf7">http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/diseases-conditions/depression/treatment/how-to-safely-take-antidepressants.html</ref>.

#Recognize your emotions. Dealing with a suicidal parent can be mentally exhausting and emotionally stressful. A complex series of emotions can be the result. In order to understand what you're feeling and find ways to cope, look for these common reactions<ref name="rf8">http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900</ref>:

#Avoid blaming yourself. Self-blame is a normal reaction to a parent being suicidal, but it actually stems from misunderstandings about the complexity of suicidal emotions<ref name="rf9">http://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2014/05/07/if-only/</ref>.

#Don't give in to the illusion of control<ref name="rf9" />. There are things you can do to help yourself and your parent, but this doesn't mean that you have ultimate control over what happens and what has happened in the past.

#*The unfortunate reality is that sometimes suicide happens even when the family and extended support network has done its best to be supportive and provide a caring environment. This doesn't mean you shouldn't try, because those efforts ''can'' make all the difference, but the point is that some things exist outside of our control. Do everything you can, but with the recognition that you can't do everything<ref name="rf10">http://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2013/06/21/you-cant-do-everything/</ref>.

#Focus on your own life<ref name="rf11">https://news.stanford.edu/pr/94/940829Arc4145.html</ref>. Thinking and worrying obsessively about your parent won't help them or you. Develop effective coping strategies to stay healthy and keep yourself from falling into the same problems as your parent. Although most of the research in this area discusses grief after an actual loss, some of it applies to the potential of loss as well:

#Have your own support network<ref name="rf12">http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/understanding/how-to-cope.aspx</ref>. In addition to professional help and maintaining an active lifestyle, don't forget to keep in touch with your own friends and other family members! Social support is essential for your ability to cope with the high emotional demands of a suicidal parent.

#Watch for signs of suicidal behavior<ref name="rf13">http://www.apa.org/education/ce/suicide.pdf</ref>. If you are worried that your parent may be considering suicide, look for these outward signs and risk factors so that you can catch the problem before it's too late:

#Listen for suicidal thoughts and ideas<ref name="rf13" />. Behavior isn't the only indication of being suicidal; you can read the signs in what he talks about as well.

#Learn about suicide's causes<ref name="rf14">https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/key-research-findings</ref>. Despite what some people may think, suicide is not as much of a choice as it is a combination of natural forces and factors. Some of these forces are:

#Understand the suicidal state of mind<ref name="rf15">http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/being-suicidal-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/</ref>. Suicide is often thought of as a solution to a problem. A suicidal parent is trying to escape from a variety of problems and painful realities.

#*Believing that the people in their life are better off without them<ref name="rf16">http://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2013/06/08/the-people-you-would-leave-behind/</ref>.

*If you are worried, act. It's better to be safe than sorry, and a suicidal parent may not show all of the symptoms discussed earlier<ref name="rf17">http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm</ref>.

*After your parent has recovered, follow up with him on a regular basis to make sure he is still doing okay<ref name="rf18">http://www.suicide.org/how-to-help-a-suicidal-person.html</ref>.

*Never assume that your parent is merely "attention seeking" if he talks about suicide. This is a dangerous idea that has infiltrated popular culture, and is actually a rare phenomenon<ref name="rf19">http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/managing-suicide-risk-borderline-personality-disorder</ref>.

*Do not leave your parent alone if you think he is suicidal. Get help, but make sure to keep him in your sight, and restrict access to firearms or medications<ref name="rf20">http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-faq/index.shtml</ref>.