Difference between revisions of "Deal With a Sociopath"
m |
m (Text replacement - "[[Category:S" to "[[Category: S") |
||
| (7 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
Sociopaths come off as charming and personable, but once you get to know them their true personalities are revealed. If you know someone who's manipulative and remorseless, it's important to deal with the situation so you won't end up feeling emotionally drained. There's no sense in trying to argue with a sociopath; the better approach is to show the person you're too intelligent to fall prey to his or her schemes. | Sociopaths come off as charming and personable, but once you get to know them their true personalities are revealed. If you know someone who's manipulative and remorseless, it's important to deal with the situation so you won't end up feeling emotionally drained. There's no sense in trying to argue with a sociopath; the better approach is to show the person you're too intelligent to fall prey to his or her schemes. | ||
| − | [[Category:Social Nuisances]] | + | [[Category: Social Nuisances]] |
| − | [[Category:Personality Disorders]] | + | [[Category: Personality Disorders]] |
== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
===Understanding a Sociopath=== | ===Understanding a Sociopath=== | ||
| − | #Recognize the signs that someone is sociopathic. Sociopaths have a personality disorder that prevents them from feeling empathy for others. Although they often seem friendly and likable, they use their charm to get people to do things for them. The following traits are common among sociopaths:<ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath</ref> | + | #Recognize the signs that someone is sociopathic. Sociopaths have a personality disorder that prevents them from feeling empathy for others. Although they often seem friendly and likable, they use their charm to get people to do things for them. The following traits are common among sociopaths:<ref name="rf17202">http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath</ref> |
#*Superficial charm; everyone seems to like them. | #*Superficial charm; everyone seems to like them. | ||
#*Lack of remorse; they don't feel guilty when they've done something wrong. | #*Lack of remorse; they don't feel guilty when they've done something wrong. | ||
| Line 13: | Line 13: | ||
#*Egocentricity; they light up when they're the center of attention. | #*Egocentricity; they light up when they're the center of attention. | ||
#*Delusions of grandeur; they often perceive themselves as superior to others. | #*Delusions of grandeur; they often perceive themselves as superior to others. | ||
| − | #Understand what drives a sociopath. Sociopaths aren't driven by the desire to make the world a better place, help others or be accountable in their closest relationships. "Doing the right thing" is not a motivator for a sociopath; rather, sociopaths are motivated by having power over other people and using it to get what they want: more power, money, casual sex and so on.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-delaney/have-you-ever-been-duped-_b_3618497.html</ref> | + | #Understand what drives a sociopath. Sociopaths aren't driven by the desire to make the world a better place, help others or be accountable in their closest relationships. "Doing the right thing" is not a motivator for a sociopath; rather, sociopaths are motivated by having power over other people and using it to get what they want: more power, money, casual sex and so on.<ref name="rf17203">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-delaney/have-you-ever-been-duped-_b_3618497.html</ref> |
#*Even if a sociopath takes an action that appears to be good-hearted or kind, there's usually an ulterior motive. | #*Even if a sociopath takes an action that appears to be good-hearted or kind, there's usually an ulterior motive. | ||
#*Sociopaths often cheat on their partners, since they don't feel guilt for doing so. | #*Sociopaths often cheat on their partners, since they don't feel guilt for doing so. | ||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
#*Sociopaths don't change to become empathetic. No amount of "talking it through" or giving the person extra chances is going to make him or her a better person. | #*Sociopaths don't change to become empathetic. No amount of "talking it through" or giving the person extra chances is going to make him or her a better person. | ||
#*If you can distance yourself enough to realize it's not really about you, you'll have more power to stand up to the sociopath. | #*If you can distance yourself enough to realize it's not really about you, you'll have more power to stand up to the sociopath. | ||
| − | #To deal with a sociopath, think like one. Once you recognize that someone in your life is a sociopath, you'll be able to see what drives the person and where his or her weak points are. If you try to handle the person like you would someone without a personality disorder, you'll just end up getting frustrated or pulled back into the person's drama.<ref | + | #To deal with a sociopath, think like one. Once you recognize that someone in your life is a sociopath, you'll be able to see what drives the person and where his or her weak points are. If you try to handle the person like you would someone without a personality disorder, you'll just end up getting frustrated or pulled back into the person's drama.<ref name="rf17203" /> |
#*When you interact with a sociopath, keep your guard up and resist the temptation to talk it out or change the person. | #*When you interact with a sociopath, keep your guard up and resist the temptation to talk it out or change the person. | ||
#*Remember that sociopaths aren't motivated by love, but by power, so you want to show them you won't give them power over you. | #*Remember that sociopaths aren't motivated by love, but by power, so you want to show them you won't give them power over you. | ||
| Line 29: | Line 29: | ||
===Communicating Effectively=== | ===Communicating Effectively=== | ||
#Consider avoiding the person completely. Sociopaths aren't easy to deal with, so if you can cut the person out of your life, that might be best. Your relationship with the person isn't likely to improve. If you're dating someone you think might be a sociopath, or if the person is a friend, you should strongly consider breaking off the relationship. | #Consider avoiding the person completely. Sociopaths aren't easy to deal with, so if you can cut the person out of your life, that might be best. Your relationship with the person isn't likely to improve. If you're dating someone you think might be a sociopath, or if the person is a friend, you should strongly consider breaking off the relationship. | ||
| − | #*This is especially true if you have an empathetic, sensitive type of personality. Sociopaths prey on this personality type, so get out while you can.<ref>http://www.sott.net/article/268449-Empathic-people-are-natural-targets-for-sociopaths-protect-yourself</ref> | + | #*This is especially true if you have an empathetic, sensitive type of personality. Sociopaths prey on this personality type, so get out while you can.<ref name="rf17204">http://www.sott.net/article/268449-Empathic-people-are-natural-targets-for-sociopaths-protect-yourself</ref> |
#*In some cases, though, it's impossible to break things off. Maybe the sociopath is your boss at work, or worse, your parent, child or sibling. If that's the case, you'll need to learn effective ways to handle yourself around the person. | #*In some cases, though, it's impossible to break things off. Maybe the sociopath is your boss at work, or worse, your parent, child or sibling. If that's the case, you'll need to learn effective ways to handle yourself around the person. | ||
#Put up your guard. Don't let yourself be caught off-guard in a vulnerable situation when the sociopath is around. Showing your real emotions will make you a target, since the sociopath will see you as someone who can be easily manipulated. When you have to interact with the person, show that you're completely in control of yourself. | #Put up your guard. Don't let yourself be caught off-guard in a vulnerable situation when the sociopath is around. Showing your real emotions will make you a target, since the sociopath will see you as someone who can be easily manipulated. When you have to interact with the person, show that you're completely in control of yourself. | ||
| Line 60: | Line 60: | ||
#*Don't accept help in any form. | #*Don't accept help in any form. | ||
#*Don't do anything for which you might later feel the need to apologize. | #*Don't do anything for which you might later feel the need to apologize. | ||
| − | #Document harassment if it takes place. If you feel the person is trying to undermine you, it's important to start collecting evidence. Since sociopaths are often quite popular, you might find yourself in a situation where no one believes you unless you have proof that you're being wronged. Save emails and other correspondence so you can share it with the other parties involved if need be.<ref>http://www.cio.com.au/article/537320/how_recognise_deal_workplace_sociopath/</ref> | + | #Document harassment if it takes place. If you feel the person is trying to undermine you, it's important to start collecting evidence. Since sociopaths are often quite popular, you might find yourself in a situation where no one believes you unless you have proof that you're being wronged. Save emails and other correspondence so you can share it with the other parties involved if need be.<ref name="rf17205">http://www.cio.com.au/article/537320/how_recognise_deal_workplace_sociopath/</ref> |
#*Be careful how you document your interactions with the person. Recording someone without their knowledge is a felony in some states. If you're being harassed and you need to gather proof, you may want to first speak with an attorney to figure out the best course of action. | #*Be careful how you document your interactions with the person. Recording someone without their knowledge is a felony in some states. If you're being harassed and you need to gather proof, you may want to first speak with an attorney to figure out the best course of action. | ||
#Get professional help. If you feel emotionally susceptible to the sociopath, and he or she is having a negative impact on your life, it will help to talk about it with someone who isn't involved. Seek the help of a therapist or psychologist who can help you work through what's happening and give you more tools to deal with the sociopath. | #Get professional help. If you feel emotionally susceptible to the sociopath, and he or she is having a negative impact on your life, it will help to talk about it with someone who isn't involved. Seek the help of a therapist or psychologist who can help you work through what's happening and give you more tools to deal with the sociopath. | ||
| Line 81: | Line 81: | ||
*[[Spot a Sociopath]] | *[[Spot a Sociopath]] | ||
*[[Understand and Help Sociopaths]] | *[[Understand and Help Sociopaths]] | ||
| − | *[[Spot | + | *[[Spot a Psychopath]] |
==Sources and Citations== | ==Sources and Citations== | ||
