Difference between revisions of "Deal With Your Girlfriend Ignoring You"
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#** If you decide to give each other space, ensure that you are both clear on what that means. For some, space might just mean only talking on the phone twice a week instead of every night, or, it might mean an entire week without any communication whatsoever. Clarifying what “space” means to you will help make that time easier. | #** If you decide to give each other space, ensure that you are both clear on what that means. For some, space might just mean only talking on the phone twice a week instead of every night, or, it might mean an entire week without any communication whatsoever. Clarifying what “space” means to you will help make that time easier. | ||
#* Know that you don’t HAVE to give her what she says she needs. If you aren’t comfortable with something that she requests, it’s okay to tell her that. The two of you might be able to make a compromise. Ultimately the two of you need to respect one another’s needs and boundaries. | #* Know that you don’t HAVE to give her what she says she needs. If you aren’t comfortable with something that she requests, it’s okay to tell her that. The two of you might be able to make a compromise. Ultimately the two of you need to respect one another’s needs and boundaries. | ||
| − | #Be an active listener. When it’s her turn to speak, actively listen to her. This involves empathetic body language (open stance, nodding, reassuring sounds) as well as showing your understanding by repeating what she has said and/or asking for clarification.<ref name="rf713" /> If you are hurt by something that she says, it’s okay to let her know that, but try to let her know in a non-confrontational way. | + | #Be an active listener. When it’s her turn to speak, actively listen to her. This involves empathetic body language (open stance, nodding, reassuring sounds) as well as showing your understanding by repeating what she has said and/or asking for clarification.<ref name="rf713">http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm</ref> If you are hurt by something that she says, it’s okay to let her know that, but try to let her know in a non-confrontational way. |
#* Example: “Thank you for opening up to me. When you said that I’m too clingy, I felt sad and a bit confused. I enjoy spending time with you, but I’m also happy to do my own thing. I would like to know some of the specific things I do that lead you to think that I’m clingy. Maybe I’ll be able to change some of those things.” | #* Example: “Thank you for opening up to me. When you said that I’m too clingy, I felt sad and a bit confused. I enjoy spending time with you, but I’m also happy to do my own thing. I would like to know some of the specific things I do that lead you to think that I’m clingy. Maybe I’ll be able to change some of those things.” | ||
#** If she can give you some specific examples, even if you don’t agree with them, it will help you get a better sense of what she wants from the relationship. Knowing what she wants will give you a clearer idea of whether you’re able or willing to give it to her. | #** If she can give you some specific examples, even if you don’t agree with them, it will help you get a better sense of what she wants from the relationship. Knowing what she wants will give you a clearer idea of whether you’re able or willing to give it to her. | ||
