Avoid Being Scared at Night

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The feeling of being scared is a natural response in certain situations, such as being in the dark at night. Being scared stems from fear, which is part of our body's "fight or flight" response that helps us know if we are in danger.[1] The perceived danger can be physical or psychological, and often puts us on edge and causes anxiety.[2] The problem is when this natural response of being scared begins to impact your daily functioning, including sleeping. Being scared at night can negatively affect sleeping patterns and overall quality of life for both children and adults.[3]

Steps

Dealing with Nighttime Anxiety

  1. Avoid the mid-day nap. When you stay up late, you wake up tired, not feeling refreshed and, by the middle of the day, craving a nap. However, napping for a long period of time in the middle of the day can make you less able to fall asleep with ease when you go to bed at night. Moreover, when you are tired at night and ready to go to sleep, you have less time and energy to think about being scared.[4]
    • If you feel that you must nap mid-day because you're too zapped to keep going, try taking a "power nap" just before lunch.[5] These short naps of 15-20 minutes can give you some great benefits, including a burst of energy and alertness and increased motor performance. These shorter naps are what most people really need to stave off sleepiness and get the energy needed to continue on with their day.[6]
  2. Try deep breathing techniques. Focusing on deepening your breath is one way to invoke the relaxation response to stress. Deep breathing, in which you expand the lungs and abdomen, encourages full oxygen exchange, the trading of incoming fresh oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide. Deep breathing slows the heartbeat and stabilizes blood pressure.[7]
    • Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take one or two normal breaths to settle yourself. Inhale, or take a deep breath, for 5 counts. Hold for 5 counts. Then exhale, letting all the air out, for 5 counts. Repeat for several cycles until you feel more calm.[8]
  3. Meditate. Meditation is a helpful tool to feel more relaxed. Some people find it especially useful to meditate at the end of the days to help focus and quiet the mind after a busy day. Meditation is one way to become more aware of your surroundings and to achieve a higher level of awareness and inner calm. It is recommended that you meditate an hour before bed.[9]
    • You can meditate anywhere you like and for as long as you like. This basically allows you to access a sense of tranquility and peace no matter what's going on around you.
    • Sit in a comfortable position. Focus on your breath. Focus on being present and relaxed in your body, and notice every breath you take. Work on clearing your mind of any negative or stressful thoughts; this can be the hardest part. If you find your mind wandering, focus on counting your inhales and exhales.[10]
    • Some people find it helpful to focus on an object in the room, like a candle, or to harness their energy and focus into an audible sound, like "um".[11]
  4. Keep a journal. Writing in a journal can help you understand and better cope with the emotions and fears that arise at night.[12] There is no right or wrong way to journal; you could create a lists or write more narrative entries describe your feelings and emotions at a given time.[13][14] In general, seeing your thoughts reflected on paper might help you identify some important patterns, which then you can learn to cope with or alleviate.
    • Try journaling for 10-20 minutes a day about whatever comes to your mind. Do not worry about spelling or grammar. Just let yourself process whatever you need to on paper.[15]
    • Ask yourself some key questions to try to figure out what it is that scares you: What fears come to mind about the night? What feelings are coming up in the night or when you try to go to sleep? Do you avoid any particular places or activities at night?
    • Listing-making can also be a useful part of journaling, especially if you find worrying a reason you are unable to sleep. Make a "to-do" list for tomorrow, make a list of all of the positive things about a day, or make a list of what you look forward to tomorrow.
  5. Take a warm bath. The reason a bath helps with sleep is because your body temperature increases while you are in the bath and then lowers after the bath. Lower body temperature helps you to fall asleep.
    • A bath should be taken about 2 hours before you plan to sleep because of the time needed to first raise and then lower your body temperature to enable easier sleep.[16]
    • To enhance the calming effects of a warm bath, try incorporating some essential oils or scents associated with relaxation. Consider using a bubble bath or soap scented with lavender. Research shows that the herb lavender can produce calming, soothing, and sedative effects when its scent is inhaled. [17]
  6. Watch what you eat or drink before bed. Avoid eating a heavy meal right before you go to bed. In addition, avoid all stimulants such as coffee, nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, and/or sugar within 4 hours of when you plan to go to bed. Stimulants keep your brain awake, which can make it harder to stop worrying and calm down before bed.[18]
    • However, eating a small snack about two hours before bed can be helpful. A good choice would be a banana and low-fat milk or a small handful of almonds.[19][20]
  7. Turn lights on. Nightlights are not just for children. It is recommended to have a nightlight in the hallway or bathroom, rather than your bedroom, where it may be distracting for you. Light can impact natural sleep patterns, making it harder for your internal clock to get ready for bed and for you to have a restful sleep.[21]
    • Having some light in your home will also make you more aware of your surroundings and help assuage any fear of the dark you may have.
  8. Create some white noise. White noise, such as a fan or the sound of static, nature and ocean sounds, or other types of instrumental music can be soothing and help block out other noises that can trigger your fear.[22][23]
    • You can actually purchase white noise machines designed with an array of different sounds to help facilitate more restful sleep. In addition, there are many apps for smartphones to help people sleep that come with relaxation sounds and/or white noise.
  9. Make your home safe. When your fear of the night stems from safety concerns, such as someone breaking into your home, take action steps to make your home safer.
    • Secure windows with locks.
    • Put curtains up to provide privacy.
    • If it make you feel safe, keep an item by your bed that could be used to protect yourself. However, avoid keeping an item near you that you or someone else in your home could accidentally use to hurt themselves or others, such as a gun or knife. Instead opt for a heavy object, such as a book or paperweight. The placement of this object nearby may help you feel safer, but will also not increase any risk or danger in your home.
  10. Consider the temperature of your room. The temperature can affect how well and for how long you sleep. Your body temperature drops as you go to sleep and a slightly cooler, rather than too warm, room can help this process along and help you achieve a sounder and easier sleep. But if the room is too cold (or too warm), you are more likely to have trouble settling into sleep and will wake up more often. Though researchers can't say what is an ideal temperature because what is comfortable for one person isn't always the case for another person, a typical recommendation is to make sure your room is between 65-72 degrees Fahrenheit.[24]
  11. Distract yourself. A healthy amount of distraction is a good way deal with being scared. A "healthy amount" means enough distraction to engage your attention and emotions but not enough that you get hyper or overexcited and cannot settle down before bed.[25]
    • Read a book. Avoid anything too exciting or scary. Read something that you're interested in and that immerses you. This will keep you focused on the plot and/or subject, and not on your fear.
    • Watch TV or go on your computer, tablet or smartphone. The evidence is mixed on the impact of using technology before bed on your sleep patterns. The most recent research suggests that watching TV or using technology before bed in fact hinders healthy sleep patterns. However, if you want to use technology to distract yourself a few hours before you head to bed, this can be helpful in keeping your mind off of your fear. Just make sure you "unplug" an hour or two before you actually plan to sleep.[26]
    • Listen to calming music. The music should be anything that relaxes you, and makes you feel comfortable and happy.
    • Count. Count forwards or backwards as long as you can to keep your mind focus on something other than your fear until you feel yourself dose off.
    • Tell a story in your head. Play out a fictional scenario in your mind that distracts you from whatever worry you have.
  12. Pray. Some people find praying before bed can be relaxing and help alleviate worries and fears.[27]
  13. Think positive and logical thoughts. Think "happy thoughts" before you go to bed - about your family, your friends, your favorite activities, so on. Remember all of the good things in your life and all of the people you love and who love you back; you are surrounded by love and protection.
    • It can also be useful to pause and use your logistical thinking. For example, if you live in an apartment, most of the sounds that scare you are probably just the sounds of other people in your building. Creaky floor sounds, muffled voices, occasional thuds as doors shut, etc., are not indications that anything sinister is going to happen to you, but that you live near other people - and that you are not alone!
  14. Ask for support. Do not be afraid to ask for support. Sometimes feeling isolated from the rest of the world at night is what intensifies the scary feelings.
    • If you are new to being alone because you've just moved into your own room, a dorm or a new apartment, maybe support means asking for a friend or relative to spend your first night in your new space with you.
    • You could have have the phone number of a friend who stays up late readily available in case you wake up from a nightmare or can't doze off and need to talk to someone.

Helping Children with Nighttime Fears

  1. Talk to your child about his fears. Let your child tell you what it is he is afraid of at nighttime. But don't force your child to tell you if he is not ready. Keep in mind as well that a child's fear may differ depending on his particular stage of development. For example, younger kids have a harder time telling the difference between what is real and what is imaginary.[28]
    • Never respond by calling your child's fear "ridiculous" or "stupid." Instead, accept your child's fear and work with him to try to overcome it. Remember that you were once a child and likely had lots of silly fears too! [29]
    • Try talking about your child's fears during the day, when he isn't afraid. Discuss strategies regarding how he can be less scared at bedtime. Additionally, build your child's self-confidence during the day; comment on his "bravery" and what a "big boy" he is. The idea is that if he feels secure and confident during the day, this can help him in the night.[30]
  2. Do not support or build up your child's fears. Once you know the nature of your child's fear, don't support the fear, even unintentionally, by formally recognizing or acknowledging it. For example, if your child is afraid of monsters, don't pretend to get out the monster repellant spray or to check the room for monsters. Such actions make it seem to your child like you too believe that these monsters exist.
    • Instead, consider talking to your child about the difference between imagination and reality. For example, if he's afraid of monsters under the bed because he watched the film Monsters, Inc., let your child know that movies are made-up and are not real. You will likely need to have this conversation multiple times as the child develops his mental capacity for logic and reasoning.[31]
    • Constantly reassure your child that he is safe. Communicate the notion of safety repeatedly.[32]
  3. Supervise what your child watches/sees. Do not allow your child to watch scary TV shows or play scary or violent video games. These may increase your child's fears before he goes to sleep.[33][34]
    • In general you should try to limit your child's exposure to TV and other electronics before bed as this can keep him from settling into sleep. Instead, try reading a story to him (again, nothing scary!) or reading together. Research has shown that bedtime stories can enhance children's learning and development and also help develop closer bonds between children and parents.[35]
  4. Give your child a warm bath. The reason a bath helps with sleep is because your body temperature increases while you are in the bath and then lowers after the bath. Lower body temperature helps people fall asleep.
    • A bath should be taken about 2 hours before bedtime because of the time needed to first raise and then lower body temperature.[36]
  5. Make the child's room ideal for sleeping. Make sure the room is tidy before your child goes to sleep and that you put away anything lying around that isn't where it is supposed to be. When it's dark, a child's eyes can play tricks on him. Keeping things in their proper place will help your child avoid seeing things where there really is nothing to be seen. A neatly made bed - before your child gets into it, that is! - can also help facilitate the bedtime routine.
  6. Add comforting touches to the room. Have lots of pillows around the child so he feels safe and cozy. Place a treasured item near your child on the bed, like a special blanket, stuffed animal or family photo beside the bed. Not only will these little comforts make him feel cozier, but they can also help your child feel more secure since he is surrounded by things he loves.[37]
  7. Put on a nightlight. A nightlight can be used to give your child a sense of calm as he goes to sleep, since many children are afraid of the dark. You can buy nightlights in fun shapes and sizes. Consider bringing your child with you to pick one out and explain to him what it's for. Give him an active role to play in overcoming his own fear.[38]
    • If the light interferes with your child's ability to fall and remain asleep, you should remove it. A dim nightlight is advised only insofar as it does not disrupt the child's sleeping patterns.
    • You can also leave your child's door open either partially or fully. Keeping the door open will help alleviate any fear associated with the separation from parents during the night.[39]
  8. Bring the pet into the room. Cuddles with pets can make people feel better.[40][41] A cat to snuggle around your feet, a dog resting on the floor, or even the soothing sounds of a fish filter or a hamster wheel can be be comforting in the night.[42]
  9. Stay with your child for a while. If your child is very frightened and cannot be in the room alone at first, it is acceptable to stay by or in his bed with him until he falls asleep. However, only do this occasionally. If it becomes part of the regular bedtime routine (even two nights in a row), it may become a crutch and your child may not be able to sleep without your presence.[43]
    • If your child is afraid of being alone, let him know that you'll check on him.[44] Start by checking in on him after 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, and so on, until he is asleep. Just do a quick check; don't linger, as your child may come to depend on your presence.[45]
  10. Keep your child in his own bed. If your child wakes up in the middle of the night and is afraid to go back to sleep because he is scared, reassure him and tell him that he is safe and okay. If your child comes to your room in the night, take him back to his bed and again reassure him. It's important to not let him get into your bed. Your child needs to learn that his bed is safe and that nothing will happen to him.[46]
    • Letting your child into your bed will not alleviate the fear but instead will support it and your child will not learn to overcome the fear.[47]
  11. Consult your physician if your child's fear does not dissipate. If your child's nighttime fear continues even after trying all of the above, or if it begins to impact his daily functioning, consider taking him to his doctor, where you can get a recommendation in order to have a formal psychological assessment done.[48]

Warnings

  • Trauma, anxiety, phobias, and other mental health disorders are more than just fear and are often deeply rooted, which makes them hard to effectively overcome without professional support. If you feel that your condition is more than just a run-of-the-mill fear of the night and that you are unable to cope or sleep properly, you should consult a mental health professional who can help you diagnose your fear and develop an appropriate treatment plan.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.psychologistworld.com/stress/fightflight.php
  2. ↑ Reeve, J. (2001). Understanding Motivation and Emotions.
  3. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
  4. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
  5. ↑ http://www.prevention.com/health/sleep-energy/best-foods-eat-night-help-you-sleep
  6. ↑ www.webmd.com/balance/features/the-secret-and-surprising-power-of-naps
  7. ↑ http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response
  8. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/relaxation-helps-ease-fears-and-phobias/0001070/2
  9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/minding-the-body/201203/four-good-times-day-meditate-and-one-avoid
  10. ↑ http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/content/a-to-z-of-mental-health/32776/mindfulness
  11. ↑ http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/mindfulness-meditation-helps-fight-insomnia-improves-sleep-201502187726
  12. ↑ http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=4552
  13. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
  14. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling/000721
  15. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling/000721
  16. ↑ http://web.stanford.edu/~dement/temp.html
  17. ↑ http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/lavender
  18. ↑ http://ucc.nd.edu/self-help/sleep-issues/
  19. ↑ http://ucc.nd.edu/self-help/sleep-issues/
  20. ↑ http://www.prevention.com/health/sleep-energy/best-foods-eat-night-help-you-sleep
  21. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/how/external-factors
  22. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
  23. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/how/external-factors
  24. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/cant-sleep-adjust-the-temperature?page=2
  25. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
  26. ↑ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/kids-should-unplug-before-sleep-study-suggests/
  27. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15655/1/How-to-Stop-Being-Afraid-of-Sleeping-Alone.html
  28. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  29. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  30. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares/page/0/1
  31. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  32. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  33. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  34. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  35. ↑ http://www.parents.com/fun/entertainment/books/the-brainy-benefits-of-bedtime-stories/
  36. ↑ http://web.stanford.edu/~dement/temp.html
  37. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  38. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  39. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  40. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12672376
  41. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12672376
  42. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  43. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  44. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  45. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  46. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  47. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
  48. ↑ http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/b/bedtime-fears/
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