Photograph a Funeral

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Funerals. We hate them, yet in many ways, we need them. They allow us to say a final goodbye to someone we knew, or wish we'd known. If you've been asked to capture poignant moments at the funeral for memory's sake, it may seem a challenging request and possibly not one you're too keen to take on. Nevertheless, it can be a good opportunity to do something special for the family that wishes to preserve the final memories of a good life.

Steps

  1. Be sure that it is appropriate for you to go ahead and act as photographer at a funeral. Simply assuming that it's okay to photograph a funeral is not appropriate. You either need to be asked to do so, or to ask for permission to do so. Realize that photographing funerals is still not very typical, so it may be considered odd by many people attending the funeral. Some reasons as to why you might be photographing the funeral include:
    • You may have been asked to capture memories for the sake of interstate or overseas relatives unable to attend the funeral. In this case, get thorough instructions from the family as to the exact parameters of your assignment and which parts of the funeral they wish to have captured.
    • Perhaps it's someone you were close to and since photography is your hobby or passion, you might feel that it's a personal way to honor the end of this person's life. In this case, since the decision is unilateral, you will need to discuss your wish with other family members in order to make it clear what you're doing and how to ensure that what you do doesn't upset anyone else.
    • Another reason might be as part of an art project if you're an artist-photographer. In this case, you will need to get very special permission and to clearly set the boundaries with the family. If you don't get permission and proceed to make a public event of your artwork, you may truly offend some of those attending funeral––you're not paparazzi, so don't act that way and be sure to get all permissions sorted out in advance.
  2. Clarify the purpose of your funeral photography mission. Realize that it can be very hard for family members to discuss the issue of photographing the funeral with you. Don't pressure anyone and always go through the person who is in charge of the funeral arrangements (your point of contact). The photographic arrangements you make must conform to the family's wishes completely. Find out what specific photographs the family wants. For example, while some won't want an image of their loved one in the casket, others might.
    • Ask the family to contact the person officiating at the funeral to let him or her know of the photography intention. Alternatively, offer to do this on the family's behalf. It's polite to let this person know of the intention. It may also be helpful to have the family explain your role to other mourners; discuss this possibility in advance.
    • Be certain about any special rituals that the family might want photographically recorded.
    • Find out what can be photographed both before and after the mourners attend. This will allow you to get really excellent shots of the casket, the deceased in the casket and other elements without mourners seeing that photographs are being taken. This is a win-win for everyone involved.
    • If the family wishes to have a photo together at the funeral, suggest that this be taken before other mourners arrive.
    • If taking a photo of pallbearers, get their permission in advance, preferably through your contact person well before the funeral.
  3. Dress appropriately. Find out in advance what the dress code is and dress accordingly. To do otherwise is disrespectful. Moreover, dressing as others do will help you to blend in and stay unobtrusive.
  4. Never forget why you are at the funeral. People are paying their respects to someone they loved, so it's important to remain respectful at all times. This includes acknowledging immediately any person's distress and moving away discreetly to avoid inclusion of them in any specific or perhaps even general photo, and also letting people know what you're doing, both when asked and when it seems appropriate to do so without prompting. People may also ask what you intend to do with the photos––be ready with a succinct explanation that focuses on honoring the deceased person's memory.
    • Be considerate and mindful if attempting to photograph people crying or displaying distress close-up. This is a very personal, challenging time and people in sorrow can find any focus being placed on them adds to their distress or may even make them angry. Whether or not close-ups are appropriate will depend on the context, your relationship, prior permission and the intended purpose for the photos. Try to capture moments of strength, smiles and wistful looks rather than focusing only on the sorrow––these moments can be priceless, so keep alert for them.
    • Distance/long shots and wide angles that capture groups or the pew rows of people may be acceptable when you're worried about upsetting people by being too intrusive.
    • Also, consider not exposing faces well––use fading out, motion blur and similar techniques to keep faces more anonymous.
  5. Keep your distance and stay invisible. Be sensitive of the emotions that people are feeling and their heartbreak. Blending in is essential both at the funeral parlor and the cemetery.
    • Be mindful at all times of where you are standing––as much as possible, aim to fade right into the background. Do not get in front of the casket at any time during the service, blocking the view of the people attending the funeral. Equally, never stand behind the person officiating at the funeral or any speakers; people do not want to see a photographer clicking away; it's inappropriate, rude and distracting.
    • Try to avoid the use of flash photography inside the church or funeral parlor. This is a time of mourning and camera flashes are associated with occasions where people don't mind being highlighted. With a funeral, people may simply want to fade into the background and let this be all about the deceased. Moreover, many people may simply react to flash photography as a disrespectful intrusion to the event.
    • Be quick when taking photos; this is not the time for those lingering, long held positions to "get the perfect shot"! Instead, do the framing in your mind first, rather than when holding up the camera; then take the shot fast.
    • Keep all noise to a minimum. Turn off any sounds that your camera makes where possible. You need to be as unnoticeable as possible.
  6. Capture parts of the funeral that are not focused wholly or even partially on the mourners themselves. If you're hoping to capture the theme of the funeral generally (for a memory book, digital photo essay, etc.), then include inanimate elements of the funeral as well. In general, shooting these items shouldn't disturb those attending the funeral but will definitely add to the overall ambiance on the final presentation. Some things to consider photographing include:
    • The tributes that have been sent to the funeral, such as flowers, wreaths and notes. Do close-ups of notes––it can be poignant to have mementos of the things people have said.
    • The funeral parlor itself; look for special architectural features.
    • The grave site both during and after the funeral.
    • The hearses and the funeral cortege.
    • The moment a flower is placed on the casket, or dirt thrown onto it, may be a good moment to take a photograph.
    • Consider taking a photo of the grave site some time after the funeral; sometimes people leave mementos well after the funeral and how the grave site looks a few weeks later may be a good inclusion into the photo story you're creating.
  7. Be patient about the return of the photos to the family. They may not wish to see the photos immediately; take your cue from what the family says. Another possible approach is to upload the photos to a family-only, password protected website that they can download from at their convenience.

Tips

  • Photographing the service is one thing; photographing the wake or post-funeral reception requires additional thought as to the appropriateness. In some cases it may be more comfortable, while in others it may not be. You'll need to judge that by how the funeral is arranged and who is attending.
  • If family members object to your photography offer, don't take it personally and don't disobey their wishes. This isn't about you or your art––it's about grief and loss, and respecting sensitivities trumps all.
  • Ideas for presenting the funeral photos include: A memory book, a digital photo essay loaded onto a digital frame or website, a website memorial including text, documents and the photos, a slide show, etc.
  • A wide angle lens with a telephoto might help you to take long shots and keep your distance.
  • Have plenty of tissues with you; it will be hard to stay unmoved, especially more so if the person is special to you. It's hard to take photographs through tears.
  • If you're concerned about lighting at the funeral parlor, try to visit before the funeral to assess the practicability of photographing with the parlor's lighting as your sole light source. This will let you choose a high ISO and prepare the image stabilization before beginning. Low light situations can be improved with the use of a monopod or tripod.

Warnings

  • Be sure you have everyone's permission. Regardless of the fact that you have permission to be there, some individuals might not want you to be there, or at the very least, want to be photographed. Respect their personal wishes.

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