Get the Girl You Like when She Knows You Like Her

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Complicated situations can evolve from love, especially if your crush knows that you like her. Although you may want to quickly get rid of the awkward feelings between you two, it may take a while before you finally know how she truly feels about you. This article will help smooth out your relationship with her while finding out her feelings about you.

Steps

Smoothing Out Your Relationship

  1. Make sure that she likes you too. Ask a friend that she is not entirely unknown to her, to ask her if "she" likes you. Like, "Do you like (this person) ? I was just thinking that the way you look at him. And the way you smile at him. That you've been hitting on him."
  2. Have confidence in yourself. Your relationship with your crush may feel awkward and tight after she discovers your feelings for her. Not only may she avoid you, but she may also refuse to talk to you for a while. However, know that it is not necessarily you she doesn't want to see, but she may be only trying to ignore the awkward feelings in order to prevent herself from making stupid mistakes. If you don't believe in yourself and have confidence that you'll get through this with her, it makes the situation harder to solve, and you may not have enough courage to rescue your relationship with her.
  3. Act normally. Although things may not feel the same, act as if they are. It will cause her to relax and slowly let her guard down because she'll know that you're still the same person she is friends with, even though she now knows you have feelings for her. You may need to crack a few more jokes than usual in order to get her laughing, but making her feel comfortable with you should be your top priority right now.
    • It may be hard to act as if the awkwardness doesn't exist, but after a while, it won't exist at all if you try hard enough. However, avoid going overboard and acting fake. A fake smile and stiff words will take you nowhere, and it may worsen the situation.
    • Make no mention of your feelings for her. Although you may be curious, don't ask her how she feels about you. At this point, she may feel very confused, insecure, and uncomfortable. You don't want her to start avoiding you because this could lead to the death of your relationship with her.
    • Keep romance out of your conversations and interactions with her. While the temptation to flirt with her remains, resist it at least until she settles down and is relaxed with you once more.
  4. Allow happiness into your life. Despite the circumstances and how insecure you both may feel, act happy and go about your life normally. Happiness and smiles tend to be contagious, and you may be able to smooth out your relationship with her even faster if you have a joyful, bright attitude that makes her smile and laugh. However, avoid going overboard and acting extremely crazy. Unless if she is used to your insane behavior, you should refrain from this behavior at this point because you might unintentionally scare her off.

Growing Closer

Depending on the type of person she is, smoothing out the relationship till no awkward feelings remain may take a few weeks while it may sometimes take as little time as to a week. Once you know she is comfortable with you, you may now focus on discovering her feelings for you. Note that this will not happen in a day - it may take a while.

  1. Make plenty of eye contact when talking to her. This will show that you have an interest in the conversation and what she is saying. Also, it will make her feel comfortable because she has the assurance that someone is listening to her. However, avoid staring at her or she might feel uncomfortable, but remember not to look bored or look away too often. Find a healthy amount of eye contact in order to benefit both you and her.
  2. Sit near her in class. Although you have the option of sitting directly next to her, you may also choose to occupy the seat behind her or in front of her. Don't feel limited when it comes to your seating options. While you may believe that sitting next to her is the only way to get her attention, remember that sitting behind her and in front of her hold their own advantages as well. Use your seat near her as an opportunity to talk to her and work together with her. However, be familiar with the appropriate times to speak in order to avoid getting her in trouble.
    • One way to get her attention is to immediately take the blame if the teacher catches both of you talking. Not only will she feel grateful towards you, but she'll also think of you as a kind person, especially if you already are kind towards her. However, avoid treating her as if she is helpless because she'll only feel annoyed.
    • If you sit near her, you'll have the chance to ask her to work with her on group projects and assignments. However, avoid asking her too frequently in order to give her the chance to work with her friends and other students she may want to interact with.
      • Even if she rejects your offer, know that the thought counts. Try again another time when she seems in a good mood.
      • Having a good relationship with her can increase your chances of being accepted.
      • If she constantly rejects your offer, know when to stop asking her. This shows that she may not be interested in you. Stop before she has to ask you to stop.
  3. Offer to tutor her or study with her, especially if you are aware of certain classes that she isn't doing too well in. It helps if you perform better in those classes than her, but remember not to act as if you are better than her or know more than her. Although one of the two may be true, you should never make her feel bad about herself. You want to make her feel good about herself when she is around you. Then, she'll want to be with you more often.
    • Only offer to tutor her if she asks you or complains about the poor grades she is receiving in the class. Depending on the type of person she is, she may take your kind offer as an insult, and she may refuse to speak to you afterwards.
    • If she accepts your offer to study with her/tutor her, make your times with her comfortable and memorable. Treat her as if she was a good friend. Avoid staring at her or inserting romance and flirting into your interactions with her. You'll make her feel uncomfortable, and she may not want to study with you.
      • She may feel surprised at first if you treat her like a good friend, but she'll eventually get used to it and enjoy it. Use this method to become good friends with her quickly.
  4. Engage her in daily conversations that rotate around a variety of interesting topics she enjoys to talk about. You may have to start most of the conversations at first, but once she gets used to talking to you every day, she'll eventually start the conversations without you having to approach her first. However, if she is shy, she may enjoy talking to you, but she may not have enough courage to approach you. Know that it is not you she is avoiding, but she may be too shy.
    • During these conversations, subtly read her body language. Note how comfortable she feels and the physical contact she makes with you (ex: touching your arm or shoulder while laughing at your jokes). Run her words through your mind and search for any hints of her feelings for you.
    • Remember to have a healthy amount of eye contact with her.
    • End the conversation before it turns into an awkward silence. While you don't want to abruptly end it at the wrong time, make sure you finish it in a polite manner when it is still good. Although you may not want to end it, it's best that you may her look forward to the future conversations since they all end on a good note. It may take a few conversations and some practice before you know when to perfectly end it, but keep persisting till you understand.
      • Have a good excuse when you end it so that suspicion and hurt feelings don't rise within her when you leave. Always end it in a friendly manner while showing you enjoyed talking to her and would like to have another conversation with her (ex: "It was nice talking to you, but I have to finish my chores now" or "Let's continue this conversation another time. I don't want to be late for class!").

Taking It Up a Notch

  1. Invite her to group outings. This step should be performed only when you two have gotten to know each other well enough. Invite your friends to the movies along with her, but make sure she is not the only girl in order to avoid making her feel uncomfortable or insecure. Select a movie you know she would enjoy or ask her to choose one. Before the movie starts, purchase a separate drink for her if you wish - do not share a drink with her - and a bag of popcorn for you both to share. If you offer to share the popcorn with her before the movie starts, the chances of you being able to sit next to her increase. During the movie, make sure you occupy the seat next to her. One way to ensure that the seat is yours is to follow her behind. That way, you'll know where she is sitting, and you'll be close enough to immediately sit down next to her.
    • Avoid selecting romantic movies because it may lead to her to remember that you like her, and she may feel extremely uncomfortable. Select a comedy or an action movie to get you all laughing.
    • Act like a gentleman. This includes opening the doors for her and allowing her to go ahead of you. However, avoid acting as if she is helpless because this will only annoy her and make her feel bad about herself.
    • Your conversations with her afterwards can consist of the movie and whether she enjoyed it or not.
    • Afterwards, invite her to other group outings, but make sure they don't occur too frequently in order to give her the opportunity to attend other outings she would like to go to. If you play sports, invite her to your games, even if you know she doesn't enjoy watching sports. She may appear at your games just to support you if she has feelings for you.
  2. Purchase gifts for her only on special occasions, such as Christmas or her birthday. However, make sure your gifts for her are not sappy or romantic. They should be the type of gifts that make her smile and enjoy them. An example would be to purchase her the CD album she has always wanted.
    • If you want to give her a gift on Valentine's Day, make sure your gift isn't romantic. Avoid going to elaborate lengths and making her feel uncomfortable. Instead, purchase an object as simple as a cute teddy bear.

Making Your Move

By now, you should have an idea of her feelings for you - vague or clear. If you believe she may hold an interest for you, continue on. If you believe she may not hold an interest for you, you have the option of either keeping your friendship with her or risking it and continuing. However, note that rebuilding your friendship with her may be harder if you continue on. Suggested ways to ask her to reveal her feelings about you are:

  1. Write a letter to her. Not only is this sweet, but this will make her feel more comfortable. She will have enough time to respond as she pleases, and she'll also have more time to sort through her thoughts and feelings. She may be able to come up with an answer that is better than the answer she may give you if you ask her right on the spot. She'll be able to think logically and ask for needed advice, and the choice that she makes will be much wiser and healthy for both of you, depending on her personality.
    • Add a small spritz of your cologne onto the letter so that it leaves a faint, pleasant smell. This will instantly make her think of you, and it'll be harder for her to get you out of her mind.
      • Avoid adding too much cologne so that it creates an overwhelmingly powerful smell. Annoyance may prickle her, and she may dislike you.
  2. Approach her and ask her. This requires a lot of courage and bravery, which will make her think twice before answering you. She might feel impressed if you yourself approach her, and she won't think of you as a coward. However, make sure you ask about her feelings for you in an area where she feels comfortable, but make sure no one is listening to your conversation.

Methods You Should Not Use

  1. Don't ask her about her feelings for you over text, email, Internet, etc. because it is less intimate, and she may think of you as a coward since you have a screen to hide yourself behind.
  2. Don't send a friend to ask her about her feelings for you. Not only will you appear as a coward, but she'll also feel more intimidated because your friend might tell others about her answer. Pressure may influence her into making a bad choice or sharing her true feelings for her. This may lead her to come up with a lie or a sharp answer to discourage you from pursuing her.
  3. Don't leave your letter to her unsigned. Not only will she be unaware of who her secret admirer is, but she'll also be uncertain of who to reply to. Leaving yourself as anonymous tends to be cowardly, and it can make her feel annoyed. She may end up trashing the letter or leaving no response because she won't know who sent the letter or how to answer.
    • If you send her another letter in the future and sign it, she may connect the dots and instantly know it was you who wrote the anonymous letter. She may dislike you because of your cowardly move, and you will not leave a good impression upon her.

Tips

  • Ask to borrow her notes. When note taking, ask her to see her notebook because you might have missed something. When you are finished, leave a note. Like, 'Nice handwriting.' or the best thing to do is compliment her on something you are too shy to tell her.
  • Get into the activities that she's in. If she's in chorus, then maybe you could join chorus, or be a stagehand. Just get into things that she sees you.
  • Be real and don't lie to her about who you are or what you consider important.
  • Be yourself, it'll impress her a lot more than manufacturing a façade.
  • Make funny jokes (but not inappropriate) to make her laugh, and every time she walks in the room, look her directly in the eyes only for a second, then look away. Maybe even smile a little to show her you're interested in her.

Warnings

  • If she doesn't like you, give it time-maybe she will later. At least she knows now that you do. It is likely she will begin to view you differently, once she's sure of your feelings.
  • Some girls are really emotional so be on the look out, but if you hadn't noticed before that's pretty typical, so please try to be understanding!

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