Know if You Like Your Friend Romantically
So you think you may like someone, huh? And they're your friend? That's a toughie. Read some of the hints below and these fun personality 'mind-games' to determine whether what you feel is real or not!
Contents
Steps
Evaluating Your Emotions
- Ask yourself some questions. First of all, trying figuring out if what you feel for your friend is romantic or more of an intense friendship. As unsatisfying as it may sound, you may not be able to separate the two.
- Why do you like this person so much? Is it because you can picture yourself together, as a romantic couple, or because you get along with him/her really well? Is it anything in between?
- Do you genuinely think it could go anywhere? Do you think you two would be compatible romantically, or would the spark fizzle as soon as the expectation of love is there?
- Will it ruin your friendship? This one is a little harder to figure out, because if the relationship lasts, you technically won't need to worry about the friendship being ruined. Either way, could you see the other person staying in touch if you did have a relationship and it ended?
- The goal of these questions is to try to get you to think about the other person in a semi-romantic way. Once you do this, you should begin to experience emotions. What are these emotions like? Excitement, anticipation, butterflies, longing? Or indifference, nervousness, dread? Often, your emotions will tell you more about what you think than your thoughts will.
- Figure out if you experience jealousy. When it comes to the other person, do you often find yourself jealous when you know you really shouldn't be? This is a sure sign that the emotions you feel for your friend is a little more than just friendship.
- Does the sight of him/her with another girl/guy drive you insane? Do you get a sinking feeling in your stomach when you see him/her with another person, and automatically suspect that they're dating? Chances are you like them romantically.
- Do you get jealous when he/she spends a lot of time with his/her friends, and less time with you? Do you find yourself resenting their friends because it means you get to spend less time with them? Chances are you like them romantically.
- Figure out if you find yourself thinking about the person at random times during the day. A sure sign that you're infatuated is if you're thinking of them often. Does every little thing remind you of him/her? Do your friends get annoyed because you constantly talk about and/or reference the person in their company? Do you constantly wonder what they're doing at that moment?
- Figure out if you somehow feel less complete when the subject isn't in your life. Is your goal, at the end of each weekend, to have spent the most time with him/her? Is he/she the first person you call when you get back from a long vacation? Is it somehow weird when you two don't sit together at lunch?
- Ask your best friend if they think you like them. Often, another person will notice what's right beneath your eyes. Ask your friend if she/he thinks you like anyone, and see what their response is. You may be surprised.
Mind Game #1 - Blind Love
- Close your eyes and relax yourself. The worst thing you can do is over-think and become anxious. Try to remember this sentence while relaxing: This isn't a big deal; it's only a test.
- Imagine your subject and you together with no other people. Picture his/her face in detail and make mental notes of:
- How you feel
- Why you feel this way
- If you are attracted to this person psychically or not
- Why you/why you are not attracted
- Imagine kissing the other person. This may sound weird and really, really creepy but go with it. Think of it in depth: What does it feel like? Do you like it? Why?
- Try Mind Game #2
Mind Game #2 - Together
- Relax and close your eyes. Now you know that you'd enjoy/not enjoy being intimate (even if it's not really intimate) with that person, it's time to visualize. This one is fun, too!
- Imagine you are on your dream date. Flowers, dressy clothing, beautiful meals, on a lake, on a boat, music, winter, autumn/fall, spring, summer - whatever you want - have it!
- What would you talk about? Any and all answers are OK. Is your talk:
- Superficial, light and funny?
- Deep, strong and intense?
- Lovey-dovey, mushy and all about love?
- Trivial and a little stupid?
- Meaningful and continuous?
- Judge your voice. What does it sound like? Strong? Impatient? Soft? Seductive? Light? Brave? Again, any answer is fine!
- Judge the subject's voice. Is it like yours? Or different?
- End the date early - your subject apologizes and says that they are busy. How do you feel? Are you satisfied? Let down? Angry? Or happy?
- Try Mind Game #3
Mind Game #3 - Broken Hearted
- Once again, relax. If you need - take a break and take as long as you want for any of the mind games.
- Imagine the subject is breaking up with you. It's a fairly happy but solemn choice from your subject and they're looking a little sad to let you go. Try these three excuses:
- "I don't have time for a relationship..."
- "I don't think it's working out - we're different. But someone else will really adore you."
- "It's not you, it's me. I just don't think we should continue this."
- Test the answers out for size. How does each feel? Keep them in mind and even jot them down on a pen and paper.
- Imagine the subject is breaking up with you differently. Your subject is clearly angry and frustrated. They are obviously sick of you and aren't hesitating to show you so. They are fairly happy about they're choice and seem relieved, too. Try these 'exclamations':
- "Ugh! I have had enough of you whining/[other problem] - it's so annoying! Look, I don't feel the same way about you any more, so please leave me alone!"
- "Oh my God! Just shush! I hate you, OK? I can't do this any more!"
- "Look, I hate to break your heart - but this isn't working. I don't like you anymore, sorry."
- Test the answers out for size. How do you feel? Are you happy or bewilderingly sad? Why?
- How do you feel after you have broken up? Happy, sad, relieved, angry, anxious?
- Move on to Game #4
Mind Game #4 - Future
- Close your eyes and relax.
- You are older now and thinking about settling down. Imagine what you want - do you want to have a family and/or get married? How long do you plan to spend with this person (if you do in fact like them)?
- How is your subject reacting to your pondering? Do they agree? Why? When?
- If all goes well, have your subject propose to you/propose to your subject. How do you feel? How does your subject feel? What do they look like? What about you? Feel free to be creative, as well!
- Move on to Mind Game #5
Mind Game #5 - Fears and Comfort
- Close your eyes and relax; take a break if needed. Remember to be calm and not worry about the other games.
- Visualize your greatest fear. If you have no fear, imagine getting mugged or attacked by a stranger. If you do this: you are NOT enough to overcome that power. Unfortunately, this is mostly true in reality too.
- What does your subject do, if anything? Describe it.
- How do you feel after they help/don't help you?
Final Mind Game - Plan
- Write down a procedure of how to confess to your maybe lover. Go through each step and write down each bad possibility.
- View your results below
Results
- Mind Game #1:
- If you think in question 2 you felt either happy, in love, yearning, relieved or uncomfortable - give yourself 2 points. If you felt awkward, creeped out, calm, cool or on edge give yourself 1 point. If you feel sad, angry, agitated or really uncomfortable - give this game a miss.
- How does kissing feel? Use the guide above to do the same. If the feeling is neutral, give yourself 1 point.
- Mind Game #2:
- If your answer to question 3 is either superficial, meaningful or deep, give yourself 2 points. Any others, give a miss.
- If your answer to question 4 is not mad, angry, sad or depressed, you get 2 points. If your voice was seductive, give it 1!
- If your subject's voice is like yours: 2 points. If not: 1.
- If you are happy, relieved or excited about the last question: 0. If you are unsatisfied or OK: 1. If you are calm but angry, sad, or anything else: 2.
- Mind Game #3:
- If you feel relieved, happy, calm, cool or normal about a calm break-up = 1. If you are angry, sad and broken-hearted = 2. If you don't care = 0.
- If in the second question you react even more strongly than question 1 = 2. If there is no change = 0. If you bite back and would counter = 1.
- If after the break-up you are a little depressed = 2. If you are VERY depressed = 3. If you aren't and are resilient = 1. If you couldn't care less = 0.
- Mind Game #4:
- If you do want to get married and/or have children (even if it's not to this person), continue.
- If you are excited about being with this person for a long time = 2. If not, 1. If you don't care = 0.
- If you subject agrees = 2. If not = 1.
- If your proposal is a success and you/your subject is elated = 3. If not = -1.
- Mind Game #5:
- If you are comforted/saved by your subject = 2. If you aren't = -3.
- Mind Game #6: If there are so many possibilities it's amazing: 2. If not, 1.
- Add up your scores.
- If you get...
- 0-5: Perhaps you guys are better off being just friends.
- 10-15: If you work at it, you may be able to pull it off.
- 15-20: Probable! Make sure you read the warnings, though.
- 20 - 29: This may be your soul-mate, honey!
Tips
- Ask calmly and coolly - casually if possible.
- Make sure it's what you both want. If it isn't - remain friends.
- DON'T try to make a move if your friendship is at risk! Only if you're certain that:
- They could say yes.
- They won't mind
- It wouldn't have worked it you hadn't of asked.
- Ask friends for advice.
Warnings
- Don't stop being yourself or change so they will like you - it's NOT an option!
- This guide is only intended as a personality test. If you're still uncertain about where you stand, don't risk your friendship.
- Don't come on too strong.
- Don't do anything anything different
- DON'T try to make a move if your friendship is at risk! Only if you're certain that:
- They could say yes.
- They won't mind
- It wouldn't have worked it you hadn't of asked.
