Make People Feel Comfortable Around You

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Do people tend to fall quiet when you walk into the room? If you're giving off a tense, uptight vibe, you might be making people uncomfortable. Minimizing awkward moments and getting rid of your shy demeanor can help. With a little practice, you'll soon be the life of the party.

Steps

Becoming More Approachable

  1. Sincerely praise others. Don't use flattery, but genuinely give credit where credit is due. People enjoy being around others who can recognize and are not threatened by other people’s abilities or talents.[1]
  2. Make fun of yourself. You know yourself better than pretty much anyone else, so it's easiest to make jokes about you. Everyone likes someone who's humble and self-effacing humor is a great way to show others that you are not uptight and you don’t take yourself too seriously.[2]
    • Avoid looking sorry for yourself when you're making fun of yourself. People need to know you are just joking.
  3. Minimize others' mistakes. Try to avoid habitually correcting other people, unless their mistake will end up making things worse for them or someone else. Also, downplay it if others point it out. While someone else may be wrong, it doesn’t make you a better person for pointing it out.[3]
  4. Be inclusive. Don't tell an inside joke unless everyone present knows it. Also, don't refer to something about which a person in the conversation doesn't know without explaining it to him or her first. If you are constantly discussing things other people don’t understand, they will begin to feel stupid around you. Rather than educating themselves, they will probably just avoid you.
  5. Have good hygiene. This one can’t be stated strongly enough. No one will want to be anywhere near you if you stink, look dirty, are wearing disheveled clothing, etc. The best way to be approachable is to look and smell like someone people want to be around.[4]
  6. Understand personal space. Maintain your own personal space and don't invade others' without some sort of invitation to do so. Avoid touching or standing too close to people you don’t know very well.[5]

Becoming More Outgoing

  1. Be confident. Confidence is important. Try sticking to your principles and don't say the opposite a few moments later. That just makes you look like you are desperately trying to find something smart to say. If you are comfortable with who you are and confident about yourself, walking up to people and striking up a conversation should be no problem.[6]
  2. Plan ahead. Think about what you are going to say before saying it. Consider what people's reactions will probably be, and decide if what you are about to say is worth being said. Not saying everything that pops into your mind doesn’t make you cowardly or meek, it makes you prudent.
    • Don't be thinking about other stuff while you are having a conversation. You will eventually give off a distant, weird or creepy vibe if you do.
  3. Be bold. Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself! Who wouldn’t want to talk to the guy with green hair and the bright orange shirt? Being open and bold is an important tool for making people relax. When you can draw attention to yourself, it puts others at ease and will make it easier for you to approach them.[7]
  4. Carefully examine conversation topics. Remember the types of things the people who you are around like, then you can talk about things you all like, and everyone will be laughing with you and smiling soon! Finding common ground with others is an important skill that should not be overlooked.[8]
  5. Develop a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to mess around with people a little bit. Being able to joke around with others puts the people around you at ease. If you find that humor is one of your stronger characteristics, use it to approach new people.[9]

Avoiding Common Mistakes

  1. Be yourself and act natural. No one likes a fake, so just be yourself. People will admire that you aren't afraid of what others think. Don't be different on purpose though; this will just make you seem weird.[10]
  2. Avoid making fun of others. Avoid insulting other people unless you're just messing around. Don't say anything hurtful. Be really careful with this. The longer you've known a person, the more you can mess around with him or her.[11]
  3. Avoid racist slurs or sexual comments. Sometimes, making someone feel comfortable is not the best option, especially when that person holds offensive and outdated social views. Do not compromise the truth and your values just to fit in with others.
    • People who cling to sexist and racist attitudes are not the type of people you want to be associating with anyways.
  4. Avoid trying too hard. It is easy to spot someone who is trying too hard to “fit in” or “get along” with other people. Don’t exert too much pressure on yourself and don’t try to engage in social settings that are truly uncomfortable for you. People will notice right away and you may end up making people even more uncomfortable than before.[12]
  5. Avoid being combative. Everyone likes people who are smart, but everyone hates a know-it-all. Don’t jump down other peoples’ throats for what you feel are wrong or misplaced comments. No one likes to be judged and you won’t be impressing anyone by constantly arguing to prove that you know better.[13]

Tips

  • Believe you can do anything. Don't be afraid what others think and goof around!
  • Remember and use the name of your conversation partner occasionally.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/
  2. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2012/08/13/15-ways-to-accomplish-more-with-the-right-kind-of-humor/
  3. ↑ http://www.artofliving.org/wisdom/knowledge-sheets/dont-make-mistake-pointing-out-mistakes
  4. ↑ http://www.thesimpledollar.com/investing-in-yourself-personal-appearance-and-hygiene/
  5. ↑ http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/
  6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself
  7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself
  9. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2013/11/03/use-humor-to-befriend-defuse-tension-and-have-more-fun/
  10. ↑ http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/
  11. ↑ http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/
  12. ↑ http://www.theheraldng.com/7-tips-on-how-to-make-someone-feel-comfortable-with-you/
  13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201501/6-ways-get-more-comfortable-others-and-yourself
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