Difference between revisions of "Catch Someone Who Is Cheating Online"
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==Steps== | ==Steps== | ||
===Observing your Partner’s Behavior=== | ===Observing your Partner’s Behavior=== | ||
| − | #See how they’re acting differently. A cheating spouse might be acting differently in a number of ways, including being physically distant or uninterested in sex; politely distant; hostile, critical or mean; or absent entirely. Pay close attention to their online activity, which might also indicate attempts at hiding something: they close internet browser windows as soon as you enter the room; they demand privacy when using the computer; they spend lots of time online after you go to bed; and they start new email accounts, among other activities.<ref>http://www.infidelityassistance.com/internet_infidelity.php</ref> | + | #See how they’re acting differently. A cheating spouse might be acting differently in a number of ways, including being physically distant or uninterested in sex; politely distant; hostile, critical or mean; or absent entirely. Pay close attention to their online activity, which might also indicate attempts at hiding something: they close internet browser windows as soon as you enter the room; they demand privacy when using the computer; they spend lots of time online after you go to bed; and they start new email accounts, among other activities.<ref name="rf1">http://www.infidelityassistance.com/internet_infidelity.php</ref> |
#Confirm that they aren’t doing something else. Someone who is acting distant or strange may not be cheating; they may be preoccupied with work or a family issue. They also might be engaging in other damaging activities, such as buying or selling drugs or gambling online. These are serious issues that can dramatically affect a relationship and they should be addressed by you with the help of a professional and your support network. | #Confirm that they aren’t doing something else. Someone who is acting distant or strange may not be cheating; they may be preoccupied with work or a family issue. They also might be engaging in other damaging activities, such as buying or selling drugs or gambling online. These are serious issues that can dramatically affect a relationship and they should be addressed by you with the help of a professional and your support network. | ||
#Keep a journal of your partner’s activity. Keep track of their movements as much as possible, including internet activity, travel, late nights at work, ATM withdrawals, phone calls, emails, and so on. This will help you keep track of details, which will become important if your spouse is trying to cover up something. | #Keep a journal of your partner’s activity. Keep track of their movements as much as possible, including internet activity, travel, late nights at work, ATM withdrawals, phone calls, emails, and so on. This will help you keep track of details, which will become important if your spouse is trying to cover up something. | ||
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#Try to engage online with your partner using an alias. If you think your partner frequents certain chat rooms or other discussion forums online, you can also go into those forums using an alias. Talking and flirting with your partner or otherwise engaging in an online conversation may draw out hints about recent activities and lure them into infidelity. | #Try to engage online with your partner using an alias. If you think your partner frequents certain chat rooms or other discussion forums online, you can also go into those forums using an alias. Talking and flirting with your partner or otherwise engaging in an online conversation may draw out hints about recent activities and lure them into infidelity. | ||
#*Some people have created fake Facebook accounts to spy on their partners, although you should proceed with caution on this approach, as it can be extremely damaging to the relationship and any trust you have for each other. | #*Some people have created fake Facebook accounts to spy on their partners, although you should proceed with caution on this approach, as it can be extremely damaging to the relationship and any trust you have for each other. | ||
| − | #Install a keylogger program on your partner’s computer. Keylogger programs are used to track all keystroke activity on a computer. They can be used to track your own computer usage and also to track others’ use of the computer. This will also likely tell you what login IDs and passwords are, which can help you access your partner’s email or other accounts. These types of programs range in quality; some are available for free download, such as Free Keylogger Pro,<ref>http://download.cnet.com/Free-Keylogger-Pro/3000-2162_4-75886072.html</ref> while others are pay services, such as All in One Keylogger, The Best Keylogger, or Total Spy, which range in price from $35 to $80 or more. | + | #Install a keylogger program on your partner’s computer. Keylogger programs are used to track all keystroke activity on a computer. They can be used to track your own computer usage and also to track others’ use of the computer. This will also likely tell you what login IDs and passwords are, which can help you access your partner’s email or other accounts. These types of programs range in quality; some are available for free download, such as Free Keylogger Pro,<ref name="rf2">http://download.cnet.com/Free-Keylogger-Pro/3000-2162_4-75886072.html</ref> while others are pay services, such as All in One Keylogger, The Best Keylogger, or Total Spy, which range in price from $35 to $80 or more. |
#Use surveillance software on your partner’s computer or mobile phone. There are numerous software programs, all varying in degrees of repute, cost and effectiveness, that can be purchased and installed on a computer or mobile phone. These programs, such as WebWatcher, Stealth Genie or Spector Pro, can track all usage activities as well as exact locations (in the case of a mobile phone). Many programs have social media monitoring, email recording, chat recording and other functionalities, and they can range in price, with many starting around $90 to $100. | #Use surveillance software on your partner’s computer or mobile phone. There are numerous software programs, all varying in degrees of repute, cost and effectiveness, that can be purchased and installed on a computer or mobile phone. These programs, such as WebWatcher, Stealth Genie or Spector Pro, can track all usage activities as well as exact locations (in the case of a mobile phone). Many programs have social media monitoring, email recording, chat recording and other functionalities, and they can range in price, with many starting around $90 to $100. | ||
| − | #*Be sure to fully understand how your state treats electronic surveillance and privacy before embarking on this type of activity.<ref>https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/electronic-communications-privacy-act/</ref> | + | #*Be sure to fully understand how your state treats electronic surveillance and privacy before embarking on this type of activity.<ref name="rf3">https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/electronic-communications-privacy-act/</ref> |
===Checking on Your Partner’s Mobile Phone Activities=== | ===Checking on Your Partner’s Mobile Phone Activities=== | ||
#Find out where unknown phone numbers are coming from. If your partner has a phone number on their phone that you don’t recognize, you can do a reverse phone number search. You can also do an online reverse email search. | #Find out where unknown phone numbers are coming from. If your partner has a phone number on their phone that you don’t recognize, you can do a reverse phone number search. You can also do an online reverse email search. | ||
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#Choose a good time to have a conversation. Try to choose a time when you can both be available and able to devote time to the conversation. You may want to ambush your partner in the act, but this might not be the most productive route. | #Choose a good time to have a conversation. Try to choose a time when you can both be available and able to devote time to the conversation. You may want to ambush your partner in the act, but this might not be the most productive route. | ||
#Do not be aggressive or accusatory with your questions. Approaching the conversation in a serious yet calm manner may result in a more honest conversation than if you are aggressive, demanding where your partner has been or who they have been with. | #Do not be aggressive or accusatory with your questions. Approaching the conversation in a serious yet calm manner may result in a more honest conversation than if you are aggressive, demanding where your partner has been or who they have been with. | ||
| − | #Suggest to your partner that you see a marriage counselor together. Get referrals from trusted friends or from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.<ref> http://www.therapistlocator.net/iMIS15/therapistlocator/</ref> Not every marriage counselor will be the most appropriate or the best fit for you and your partner, and it may take visiting with more than one counselor to find the right one. Be patient with your partner through this process, particularly if they have admitted cheating on you. If you are committed to making the relationship work, you will need to both be open to forgiveness and compromise. | + | #Suggest to your partner that you see a marriage counselor together. Get referrals from trusted friends or from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.<ref name="rf4"> http://www.therapistlocator.net/iMIS15/therapistlocator/</ref> Not every marriage counselor will be the most appropriate or the best fit for you and your partner, and it may take visiting with more than one counselor to find the right one. Be patient with your partner through this process, particularly if they have admitted cheating on you. If you are committed to making the relationship work, you will need to both be open to forgiveness and compromise. |
== Warnings == | == Warnings == | ||
| − | *Accessing and reading a partner’s emails is potentially illegal, depending on the nature of your activity and the laws in your state. Be sure to fully understand how your state treats electronic surveillance and wiretapping (listening in on conversations, recorded in person or over the phone) before embarking on this type of activity.<ref | + | *Accessing and reading a partner’s emails is potentially illegal, depending on the nature of your activity and the laws in your state. Be sure to fully understand how your state treats electronic surveillance and wiretapping (listening in on conversations, recorded in person or over the phone) before embarking on this type of activity.<ref name="rf3" /> Courts differ in their interpretation about a spouse’s “reasonable expectation of privacy,” so some jurisdictions might be stricter about protecting against spousal spying than others.<ref name="rf5">http://online.wsj.com/articles/SB10000872396390443995604578002751421246848</ref> |
| − | *If you spy on your spouse or partner, you risk losing their trust, especially if you don’t discover anything amiss.<ref>http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/common-questions/640-is-it-ethical-to-spy-on-my-spouse.html</ref> | + | *If you spy on your spouse or partner, you risk losing their trust, especially if you don’t discover anything amiss.<ref name="rf6">http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/common-questions/640-is-it-ethical-to-spy-on-my-spouse.html</ref> |
*Be careful about downloading spying or other surveillance software onto your computer or onto your partner’s computer. Many of these programs carry viruses and can damage or ruin your computer’s hard drive. | *Be careful about downloading spying or other surveillance software onto your computer or onto your partner’s computer. Many of these programs carry viruses and can damage or ruin your computer’s hard drive. | ||
