Choose a Good Place and the Right Words to Break Up
Revision as of 23:36, 11 January 2016 by Kipkis (Kipkis | contribs) (importing article from wikihow)
Breaking up. No relationship is promised to last forever, right? Here's a thoroughly detailed guide to make a break-up easier to do, and deal with it. Not for marriages though.
Contents
Steps
Choose the Place and Event
- Make sure you're actually ready to break up. Breaking up prematurely will, 99.9% of the time, ruin a relationship. If there's a problem, try to find a way to solve it, and if you can't, you'll either have to deal with it or break up.
- Never break up over a text or over the phone. Common sense, right? Wrong. Breaking up over the phone is a sign of fear to some, and a sign of lying to some.
- Pick a place where it's okay to make a scene. If you're breaking up with someone who really likes you, of course they'll cry or get angry. Save yourself the embarrassment and try not to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend in a place such as the movie theaters, the beach, a restaurant, etc.
- Don't break up with someone on a date. This just ruins the mood, and if it's a movie or restaurant, you're the one whose going to have to pay the bill. Definitely.
- Don't break up with someone just over a small thing. So say your girlfriend/boyfriend crashes your car. Don't get angry and end it just because she/he wrecked your car. If you do, this screams that you don't care about any girl/guy you'll have, and it's extremely hard to get another girl/boy to trust you.
- Don't break up with someone when they're in a bad or mad mood. This IS COMMON SENSE. Breaking up with someone when they're mad is just screaming "Give me what you got!" They just might end up taking out their anger on you.
Things to Say
How to say it. This is something that everyone's choice will vary on. It doesn't matter what you say, you're still breaking up with them.
- Don't ever say "it's not you, it's me". This can be countered by the classical "Well, why can't we work it out?" This just makes the situation more intense and longer.
- Look them in the eye and be as confident as you can. As I've experienced, it's not smart to act like you don't want to say "we're done". If you act like you've thought it out and you know what you're going to say, it helps a lot.
- Let them off easily. What do you gain from telling them off? You gain enemies, you gain hate towards you, and you gain a bad reputation.
- For boys. Try: "I'm not ready for a real relationship yet", "I'm just not feeling it", "I rushed into this relationship", "I wouldn't be true to you if I keep forcing a relationship", "I don't want to play you", followed by the "I'm breaking up with you".
- You rather have her as a friend? Just tell her then. What's the use of hiding it?
- For girls. I'm not a girl, so it'd be nice to have a girl do this part.
- For both. If you're at a public place and you just have to break up with them there, make sure you're outside or some place where you have some privacy.
- Don't make it seem like a joke. This can **** some people off very quick, and it's even harder to break up with someone when they're upset.
The aftermath
- Don't rush into another relationship. If you broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend for someone else, wait a little while before you date someone else. If you break up with your former boyfriend/girlfriend and get a new one in the same day, people will talk, and not in a good way. Wait for a week to pass, then slowly move on the next one.
- If you want them out of your life. When you break up with someone, don't just cast them away like a used tissue. Keep them around and slowly let your contact with them diminish. Don't initiate communication with them or they may think you're still interested in them.
- If you want to keep them as a friend. After you break up with them, give them some time, like a day or two. Then, initiate communication with them every now and then, that way they'll think that you're still their friend, but that you're not trying to run back to them.
- When it's done, let it be DONE for a bad relationship. If you start talking about how bad a relationship was, word of mouth(the rumor mill, snitches) will get around and more drama than you can imagine will come as a result. Don't talk about it unless you really feel as though it's time to talk to someone about it, and even then, let that someone not be a friend of the ex you're talking about,
- When it's over for a good relationship,try to maintain your ex as a friend. Just because you're not boyfriend/girlfriend status anymore doesn't mean you can't be friends. Even though it may seem awkward to have an ex as a friend, as long as you don't bring up your past relationship with them, you can be friends.
Tips
- Do not tell a lot of people about your relationship or they'll make rumors about it and false statements.
- Breaking up needs to be a one sided mountain. Don't run back to a relationship after you have broken it.
- If your ex says "Just leave me alone" when you have expressed the fact that it's over, leave them be.
- DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, I repeat again, DO NOT tell your girl/boyfriend's friends that you're planning to break up with them. Even if they say they won't tell them, they will, and if they don't tell your soon-to-be ex before you break up, they will tell them that you were planning to break up with them afterwards. You'll be regarded as heartless.
- Different approaches work for different people.
- Try not to break up on a big anniversary (i.e. 2 month, 1 year, 6 month). If you do, you'll look bad.
- Change your password for any Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, or any other public social sites before you break up with your boy/girl friend.
Warnings
- Note: Be warned that anything expensive that you brought for your ex. (a car, expensive ring, laptop,etc.), you will mostly likely not be getting back.
- DO NOT ever say I'm sorry. Saying you're sorry is saying that you don't really want to break up.
- If your ex mopes about and acts like they can't live without, you need to let them know nicely that it is over, in person. Otherwise, other potential boy/girlfriends will not want to be around you.
