Boost a Man's Ego Through Femininity
Revision as of 00:38, 12 January 2016 by Kipkis (Kipkis | contribs) (importing article from wikihow)
Perhaps one of the saddest dilemmas in our society today is the decline of femininity. In striving for equal rights many women have abandoned the idea of being women in the preference of emulating men. This might advance you in the short run, but how does it make your husband feel in the long?
Contents
Steps
- Recognize that men and women are equal but separate and thus have separate roles. A housewife is by no means inferior to any man in a professional occupation. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. Comparing men and women is like comparing apples and oranges; they're both fruit with the same general fruit-like qualities, but there the comparison can go no further.
- Embrace your own femininity. Don't have an attitude that men are better than women- there by rejecting your own feminine role in order to compete with men in a masculine one. While I'm not saying that every woman should be a stay at home mother barefoot and pregnant in front of the stove, I am saying that these women are doing work just as important if not more so than their masculine counterparts. When you dress and speak and act, try to be feminine. Not only will this make you more attractive to him in general, by highlighting your own femininity, you make his masculinity more apparent to him.
- Don't try to "one up" your husband in your work or in something particularly masculine. Many women do this thinking that a little healthy competition is intriguing to men. It can be, but once he figures out he's not going to win he'll most likely feel dejected and weak. He gets enough healthy competition from every other man in the world; he depends upon you to support him and make him feel big and strong.
- Don't be a brainless doll. Good men like women that have good values, so show these off (don't become pompous, though!). Read books and investigate topics that interest you. Every guy loves to have a woman hang on his every word, and human nature generally prefers to do more of the talking than the listening. However, if you never contribute ANYTHING to the conversation, he will quickly become bored. It's enough to prod him along drawing out the conversation inserting a gentle observation every so often; don't think you have to something particularly moving to say and don't think that you have to argue him into a debate. Debates can be a fun and interesting way to learn about new things from your husband, but use them sparingly. Respond sweetly and earnestly to his points; don't roll your eyes or give him a condescending smirk before delivering a sarcastic remark highlighting a flaw in his thinking. This is unfeminine and harsh. The most important thing to remember, however, is to listen. Don't formulate your next remark while he's talking, and don't concentrate so hard on what he's saying that you miss who's saying it. Your husband wants you to listen, but he doesn't want you to be so totally engrossing in assimilating information for your own use that you stop paying attention to the person talking and focus solely on what's being said.
- Build up his masculinity. When you highlight the differences between your femininity and his masculinity, you build up his ego. For example, my husband has very darkly tanned skin while I have very pale skin. One day when we were sitting together and he took my hand, I happened to comment on how delicate it looked against his. The difference in mood this brought about was palpable. Also give him a steady stream of compliments mostly aimed at his masculinity. Still compliment him on his intelligence and good character, but remember that these comments that work for both genders are so commonplace that they have really become meaningless and watered down. Casually cup a hand to his cheek and rub the stubble of his beard; when he asks you why you're doing this just say something teasing along the lines of, "Because I want to, silly," or, "I dunno, I like it." Or wrap your hands around his arm and beg him to make a muscle for you. One thing that's true with most men is that a woman's hands aren't big enough to go all the way around his upper arm. If this is true of your husband show him and make a big deal out of it. Be sure that whatever you say is completely sincere. False compliments are easily seen through and can do more harm than actual insults. Don't tell your 5'5" 130 pound husband that you love his big, muscular body. Admire his bravery, steadfastness and dedication to bringing home a paycheck.
- Tease him from time to time. When a woman acts in a childlike way men find this extremely intriguing. Don't be afraid to have fun and be silly. A girl with a smile on her lips, roses in her cheeks and twinkle in her eye is much more attractive that a painted up woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Be natural and cut loose, but don't think you have to actually act like a child. Just take the fun and lightness from a child's mannerisms and add them to your own. Don't turn into a spoiled brat, however! When his infatuation with you increases, both of you will feel happier and more sure of yourselves. Also this teasing shows him love- if you just sit around all day and stay calm and rational he doesn't get the same message as if you start a pillow fight or tickle war with him. When you show that you want to have fun with him, you show him love. Feeling loved is a good way to boost self esteem.
- Don't talk badly about people EVER. Regardless of how you feel about the person, relate the facts and save the judgement for God. When he hears you criticize others (even deserved criticism) it can give him pause about sharing his thoughts and feelings with you as he isn't sure if it will be received well. Sharing these things with you gives him a good sounding board and helps build himself up.
- Never ever, EVER try to change him in any way. Showing him that you don't think he's good enough the way he is is the surest way to make him feel badly about himself. Whenever you try to change a man, the only change you bring about is in his feelings for you and in his own self-esteem. When you decide to change him, you are making the assumption that you are better than him and therefore he should become more like you. Are you really, truly better than your husband? Or are his faults simply different that your own? The next time you feel the need to correct him or tell him how to live HIS life, reflect on your own self and realize that that time would be much better spent changing your own short comings.
Tips
- Love yourself and accept yourself. Until you can do this you will never be able to truly love your husband.
- Offer him the opportunity to pick you up (literally). Enjoying or not minding being held is a GREAT way to show your femininity. Not only that, but you will get to see his masculinity. If you feel neutral about it, don't let him know. It will hurt his feelings. Holding you like that is a sign that he loves you.
- You don't have to be pretty to be feminine, just be healthy and happy and no one will ever notice the want of physical beauty. After all, true beauty is an internal quality.
Warnings
- Though the Torah, Bible, and Qur'an all state that you should honor your husband, you still have a say and it is unfair of your husband to never consult you in anything. Also, in a situation that goes against your religious beliefs, you have no obligation to yield whatsoever. There can be no obedience to man through disobedience to God. If he is abusive in any way you have the responsibility to leave for both yourself and any children you may have.
