Difference between revisions of "Be a Bad Boy"
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Ever wonder why women can't seem to resist bad boys? It's not because they're jerks - no one likes someone because they're a jerk. Rather, it's because they're confident and assertive - in other words, sexy and charming.Use these pointers to build your masculine confidence and show the world (and all the women in it) who wears the pants! | Ever wonder why women can't seem to resist bad boys? It's not because they're jerks - no one likes someone because they're a jerk. Rather, it's because they're confident and assertive - in other words, sexy and charming.Use these pointers to build your masculine confidence and show the world (and all the women in it) who wears the pants! | ||
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
=== Bad Boy Behavior and Habits === | === Bad Boy Behavior and Habits === | ||
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# Stop asking for permission or approval. So-called "nice guys" are always waiting for a sign that it's safe to proceed before taking action. That sign, however, often doesn't come, so they appear indecisive. Be decisive (especially with women) and handle objections as they come. Don't look to others to determine if you're acting "right". Do what feels right for you. You might be surprised by what you've always had permission to do! | # Stop asking for permission or approval. So-called "nice guys" are always waiting for a sign that it's safe to proceed before taking action. That sign, however, often doesn't come, so they appear indecisive. Be decisive (especially with women) and handle objections as they come. Don't look to others to determine if you're acting "right". Do what feels right for you. You might be surprised by what you've always had permission to do! | ||
#* With women: instead of asking "Can I kiss you," just go for the kiss. The same goes for "Will you go on a date with me?" Start talking to her, and say "We need to hang out. What's good for you, Friday or Saturday?" Even if you're shot down, your decisiveness is much more attractive than if you simply asked for her attention. | #* With women: instead of asking "Can I kiss you," just go for the kiss. The same goes for "Will you go on a date with me?" Start talking to her, and say "We need to hang out. What's good for you, Friday or Saturday?" Even if you're shot down, your decisiveness is much more attractive than if you simply asked for her attention. | ||
| − | #* Have an opinion on everything, from the restaurants you eat at to how you spend your free time. Know what you want, and take action to achieve it - not only will you be more attractive, but you'll be happier.<ref>http://artofmanliness.com/2009/08/09/being-decisive/</ref> | + | #* Have an opinion on everything, from the restaurants you eat at to how you spend your free time. Know what you want, and take action to achieve it - not only will you be more attractive, but you'll be happier.<ref name="rf14080">http://artofmanliness.com/2009/08/09/being-decisive/</ref> |
#* ''' Disclaimer: ''' Real men aren't creeps or pervs. Be confident, but also be very aware of your partner's needs. Never, ever force a kiss (or worse) on someone who doesn't want it. Just as you are keenly aware of your own desires, so are they. Respect their decisions. | #* ''' Disclaimer: ''' Real men aren't creeps or pervs. Be confident, but also be very aware of your partner's needs. Never, ever force a kiss (or worse) on someone who doesn't want it. Just as you are keenly aware of your own desires, so are they. Respect their decisions. | ||
#Lead. As a man, always lead. Don't wait for someone to tell you where to go or what to do. If your group can't make a decision, make it yourself. Being a leader becomes natural once you stop worrying about other people and go and do what you know you need to do. You're not being selfish. Rather, you're taking care of your own life because you don't expect anyone to do it for you. | #Lead. As a man, always lead. Don't wait for someone to tell you where to go or what to do. If your group can't make a decision, make it yourself. Being a leader becomes natural once you stop worrying about other people and go and do what you know you need to do. You're not being selfish. Rather, you're taking care of your own life because you don't expect anyone to do it for you. | ||
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=== Building Bad Boy Confidence === | === Building Bad Boy Confidence === | ||
# Know yourself. Much of the advice above requires you to have high confidence and a good self-image. If you don't have these fundamentals, it's difficult if not impossible to be a true bad boy. Ask yourself questions like, "are there situations that make me nervous?" and "am I being the best that I can be?" If you don't like your answers, use the following steps to build healthy confidence. You'll be on your way to badness in no time. | # Know yourself. Much of the advice above requires you to have high confidence and a good self-image. If you don't have these fundamentals, it's difficult if not impossible to be a true bad boy. Ask yourself questions like, "are there situations that make me nervous?" and "am I being the best that I can be?" If you don't like your answers, use the following steps to build healthy confidence. You'll be on your way to badness in no time. | ||
| − | # Get fit. You don't need to be a body builder to be a bad boy, but you do need to be healthy. Scientific evidence has shown that physical exercise has a positive effect on self-esteem and can help thwart depression. The effects are both immediate (through the release of stress-reducing endorphins) and long-term (through the improvement of self-image and overall fitness)<ref>http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression</ref>. Don't put it off - go to the gym today, not tomorrow. | + | # Get fit. You don't need to be a body builder to be a bad boy, but you do need to be healthy. Scientific evidence has shown that physical exercise has a positive effect on self-esteem and can help thwart depression. The effects are both immediate (through the release of stress-reducing endorphins) and long-term (through the improvement of self-image and overall fitness)<ref name="rf2738">http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression</ref>. Don't put it off - go to the gym today, not tomorrow. |
| − | #* One study found that moderately intense aerobic exercise produces the greatest immediate psychological boost.<ref>http://ijahsp.nova.edu/articles/Vol7Num2/pdf/cohen.pdf</ref> Any exercise routine that improves your physical fitness, however, will make you more attractive to yourself and others. | + | #* One study found that moderately intense aerobic exercise produces the greatest immediate psychological boost.<ref name="rf14081">http://ijahsp.nova.edu/articles/Vol7Num2/pdf/cohen.pdf</ref> Any exercise routine that improves your physical fitness, however, will make you more attractive to yourself and others. |
#* For tips on starting an exercise routine, consult one of our many how-to guides on exercising, such as [[Exercise|How to Exercise]]. | #* For tips on starting an exercise routine, consult one of our many how-to guides on exercising, such as [[Exercise|How to Exercise]]. | ||
# Start winning. Constantly work towards your career and personal goals. You don't need to be rich to have high confidence, but you do need to be proud of yourself. Working hard and succeeding will make you feel valuable and important - the cornerstones of a confident personality. | # Start winning. Constantly work towards your career and personal goals. You don't need to be rich to have high confidence, but you do need to be proud of yourself. Working hard and succeeding will make you feel valuable and important - the cornerstones of a confident personality. | ||
#* Everyone (including bad boys) suffers personal setbacks. If you're experiencing difficulty in your career or personal life, keep it in perspective - by persevering through your difficulties, you're building a stronger personality. Never give up! | #* Everyone (including bad boys) suffers personal setbacks. If you're experiencing difficulty in your career or personal life, keep it in perspective - by persevering through your difficulties, you're building a stronger personality. Never give up! | ||
# Treat yourself with value. Allow yourself to enjoy the things you like. You don't have to spend lots of money to feel valuable - simply cook the foods you like, enjoy your favorite drink in moderation, and reserve time to practice your hobbies. If you're doing the things you like, you'll naturally be happier, and if you're happier, you'll be more confident. | # Treat yourself with value. Allow yourself to enjoy the things you like. You don't have to spend lots of money to feel valuable - simply cook the foods you like, enjoy your favorite drink in moderation, and reserve time to practice your hobbies. If you're doing the things you like, you'll naturally be happier, and if you're happier, you'll be more confident. | ||
| − | # Address any personal psychological issues. Sometimes, low confidence can be-deeply rooted. Childhood abuse and traumatic experiences can cause psychological difficulties throughout your life that can negatively affect your self esteem.<ref>http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem</ref> Try to seek treatment for any issues that are affecting you mentally or emotionally. A variety of treatments, including counseling, biofeedback techniques, and the prescription of medicines, are available. | + | # Address any personal psychological issues. Sometimes, low confidence can be-deeply rooted. Childhood abuse and traumatic experiences can cause psychological difficulties throughout your life that can negatively affect your self esteem.<ref name="rf436">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem</ref> Try to seek treatment for any issues that are affecting you mentally or emotionally. A variety of treatments, including counseling, biofeedback techniques, and the prescription of medicines, are available. |
| − | #* Remember that seeking help for psychological issues is a sign of strength, not of weakness. Real men don't ignore their personal problems, they fix them. Sometimes, this requires the help of someone else. Never feel embarrassed to see a counselor or a therapist - over a quarter of US adults received some kind of mental health treatment within two years of a 2004 poll.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/lib/9-myths-and-facts-about-therapy/0009331</ref> | + | #* Remember that seeking help for psychological issues is a sign of strength, not of weakness. Real men don't ignore their personal problems, they fix them. Sometimes, this requires the help of someone else. Never feel embarrassed to see a counselor or a therapist - over a quarter of US adults received some kind of mental health treatment within two years of a 2004 poll.<ref name="rf14082">http://psychcentral.com/lib/9-myths-and-facts-about-therapy/0009331</ref> |
=== Bad Boy Dating === | === Bad Boy Dating === | ||
# Know what you want. A bad boy knows what he wants from a partner and is honest about it (see step six under Part One.) There's no shame in pursuing purely sexual relationships as long as you're honest about it. Similarly, having a long-term girlfriend doesn't mean you have to be less of a bad boy. Below are some tips for handling the fairer sex like a true bad boy. | # Know what you want. A bad boy knows what he wants from a partner and is honest about it (see step six under Part One.) There's no shame in pursuing purely sexual relationships as long as you're honest about it. Similarly, having a long-term girlfriend doesn't mean you have to be less of a bad boy. Below are some tips for handling the fairer sex like a true bad boy. | ||
# Have your own life. The goal of a relationship shouldn't be to dedicate your life to your partner. Even if you're married, make your own plans. Reserve time for yourself. Spend time with your friends. If you treat yourself like a valuable commodity, your time will be highly sought-after by your partner. Conversely, if you're constantly making yourself available to your partner's whims, your time will become less valuable. Keep your backbone in any relationship - make sure you're not so dedicated to your partner that you forget about yourself. | # Have your own life. The goal of a relationship shouldn't be to dedicate your life to your partner. Even if you're married, make your own plans. Reserve time for yourself. Spend time with your friends. If you treat yourself like a valuable commodity, your time will be highly sought-after by your partner. Conversely, if you're constantly making yourself available to your partner's whims, your time will become less valuable. Keep your backbone in any relationship - make sure you're not so dedicated to your partner that you forget about yourself. | ||
| − | # Be cocky. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you need to worship them. Tease them! A lighthearted back-and-forth keeps a relationship passionate and fiery. It's also a good sign of a confident "alpha" personality - you're showing you're not afraid to engage in a little verbal swordplay.<ref>http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/137_dating_advice_a.html</ref> Think about it - would you really want to be in a relationship with someone you '' always '' have to be nice to? | + | # Be cocky. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you need to worship them. Tease them! A lighthearted back-and-forth keeps a relationship passionate and fiery. It's also a good sign of a confident "alpha" personality - you're showing you're not afraid to engage in a little verbal swordplay.<ref name="rf14083">http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/137_dating_advice_a.html</ref> Think about it - would you really want to be in a relationship with someone you '' always '' have to be nice to? |
#* Don't be too cruel with your teasing. Avoid subjects that your partner is sensitive about - for instance, her looks or her career. Keep it light. | #* Don't be too cruel with your teasing. Avoid subjects that your partner is sensitive about - for instance, her looks or her career. Keep it light. | ||
#* Be prepared to receive some teasing yourself - don't dish it out if you can't take it! | #* Be prepared to receive some teasing yourself - don't dish it out if you can't take it! | ||
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#* Remember that the goal of being spontaneous is not to shower her with gifts. Maintain your personal value - if you're unsure of what to do, try to plan activities that ''' you ''' like. You'll be happy to go, and your happiness will reflect in your partner. | #* Remember that the goal of being spontaneous is not to shower her with gifts. Maintain your personal value - if you're unsure of what to do, try to plan activities that ''' you ''' like. You'll be happy to go, and your happiness will reflect in your partner. | ||
# Give her space and make sure she gives you space. Bad boys and their partners aren't dependent on each other. They maintain their own lives, friendships, and hobbies. This makes the time that they '' do '' spend together more valuable. | # Give her space and make sure she gives you space. Bad boys and their partners aren't dependent on each other. They maintain their own lives, friendships, and hobbies. This makes the time that they '' do '' spend together more valuable. | ||
| − | #* Balancing time between your friends and your partner can be difficult. Luckily, since this is a common problem | + | #* Balancing time between your friends and your partner can be difficult. Luckily, since this is a common problem, it's been the source of much thoughtful (and some thoughtless) online writing. Consider consulting a sensibly-written article for advice. |
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== Tips == | == Tips == | ||
