Difference between revisions of "Act Serious"
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== Steps == | == Steps == | ||
=== Using Body Language === | === Using Body Language === | ||
| − | # Wear a serious facial expression. Lower your eyebrows slightly, but do not allow them to slant inward. This can make you look angry. You should also wrinkle your brow, giving you the appearance of being deep in thought, and squint your eyes slightly. It also may benefit you to keep a straight face.<ref>http://www.faceturn.com/serious/index.php</ref> | + | # Wear a serious facial expression. Lower your eyebrows slightly, but do not allow them to slant inward. This can make you look angry. You should also wrinkle your brow, giving you the appearance of being deep in thought, and squint your eyes slightly. It also may benefit you to keep a straight face.<ref name="rf1">http://www.faceturn.com/serious/index.php</ref> |
#*It can take some practice to get a perfect serious expression. Practice in front of the mirror. | #*It can take some practice to get a perfect serious expression. Practice in front of the mirror. | ||
#*You can also ask for honest feedback. Take a picture of your serious face and send it to a friend. Have him guess what emotion you're trying to convey. | #*You can also ask for honest feedback. Take a picture of your serious face and send it to a friend. Have him guess what emotion you're trying to convey. | ||
| − | # Avoid giggling or smiling in conversation. Giggling can make you look nervous. It can also make it seem like you're not taking what the other party is saying seriously. Maintain a straight face during conversation.<ref>http://personalexcellence.co/blog/body-language/</ref> | + | # Avoid giggling or smiling in conversation. Giggling can make you look nervous. It can also make it seem like you're not taking what the other party is saying seriously. Maintain a straight face during conversation.<ref name="rf2">http://personalexcellence.co/blog/body-language/</ref> |
#*If you have a natural tendency to giggle when nervous, work against it. Focus extra hard on the conversation if you feel the need to giggle creeping in. | #*If you have a natural tendency to giggle when nervous, work against it. Focus extra hard on the conversation if you feel the need to giggle creeping in. | ||
#*Keep in mind it's rude not to smile or giggle ever. If a co-worker makes a joke, offer a smile and a brief giggle; however, keep it under control. Uproarious laughter is unlikely to make you look serious. | #*Keep in mind it's rude not to smile or giggle ever. If a co-worker makes a joke, offer a smile and a brief giggle; however, keep it under control. Uproarious laughter is unlikely to make you look serious. | ||
#*Practicing deep breathing can help you calm yourself and it gives you something to pay attention to if you’re trying to avoid nervous giggling. | #*Practicing deep breathing can help you calm yourself and it gives you something to pay attention to if you’re trying to avoid nervous giggling. | ||
| − | # Look serious when you think. Serious people are often quiet and contemplative. It can benefit you to adopt a serious pose when lost in thought.<ref | + | # Look serious when you think. Serious people are often quiet and contemplative. It can benefit you to adopt a serious pose when lost in thought.<ref name="rf2" /> |
#*Avoid making eye contact with people around you. Fold your arms and cross your legs. | #*Avoid making eye contact with people around you. Fold your arms and cross your legs. | ||
#*Stay quiet and maintain a serious expression. | #*Stay quiet and maintain a serious expression. | ||
#*You do not stay in this pose permanently. You only need to hold it until you work through your thoughts. Holding it too long may look awkward. | #*You do not stay in this pose permanently. You only need to hold it until you work through your thoughts. Holding it too long may look awkward. | ||
| − | # Maintain neutrality in conversation. During a serious discussion, try not to react to what you hear. Be aware of your face. Try to hold your serious expression, even if someone says something frustrating or upsetting.<ref | + | # Maintain neutrality in conversation. During a serious discussion, try not to react to what you hear. Be aware of your face. Try to hold your serious expression, even if someone says something frustrating or upsetting.<ref name="rf2" /> |
#*This can be particularly helpful in a business negotiation. You will look unfazed by the other party's offers, leading them to believe you're not easily intimidated. | #*This can be particularly helpful in a business negotiation. You will look unfazed by the other party's offers, leading them to believe you're not easily intimidated. | ||
#*Keep in mind this technique is not appropriate for every situation. A business meeting, or a school function, may warrant a neutral expression, but it may not be appropriate in in casual conversation. You may come off as rude. | #*Keep in mind this technique is not appropriate for every situation. A business meeting, or a school function, may warrant a neutral expression, but it may not be appropriate in in casual conversation. You may come off as rude. | ||
| − | # Lower your pitch. This can make you sound more authoritative, which can be read as serious. A high-pitched tone can make others read you as nervous and less powerful. Try lowering the pitch of your voice slightly, especially in situations that call for you to behave in a serious fashion.<ref>http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/08/21/12-body-language-tips-for-career-success/#f3a1d7f2a134</ref> | + | # Lower your pitch. This can make you sound more authoritative, which can be read as serious. A high-pitched tone can make others read you as nervous and less powerful. Try lowering the pitch of your voice slightly, especially in situations that call for you to behave in a serious fashion.<ref name="rf3">http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/08/21/12-body-language-tips-for-career-success/#f3a1d7f2a134</ref> |
#*Just before you have to act serious, put your lips together and say, "Um huh, um huh" several times. This helps relax your vocal cords, helping you better control your pitch. | #*Just before you have to act serious, put your lips together and say, "Um huh, um huh" several times. This helps relax your vocal cords, helping you better control your pitch. | ||
=== Behaving in a Serious Fashion === | === Behaving in a Serious Fashion === | ||
| − | # Stick to formal language. This can make others read you as more serious and driven. At work especially, watch your language to make sure you're speaking in a more formal tone.<ref>http://www.writeexpress.com/appropriate-language.html</ref> | + | # Stick to formal language. This can make others read you as more serious and driven. At work especially, watch your language to make sure you're speaking in a more formal tone.<ref name="rf4">http://www.writeexpress.com/appropriate-language.html</ref> |
#*Make sure you use standard English and follow grammatical rules. For example, do not say, "Where are y'all going for drinks after work?" Instead, say, "Where are we going tonight after work?" | #*Make sure you use standard English and follow grammatical rules. For example, do not say, "Where are y'all going for drinks after work?" Instead, say, "Where are we going tonight after work?" | ||
#*Avoid slang words and profanity. These will not only make you sound less serious, they can get you in trouble at work. | #*Avoid slang words and profanity. These will not only make you sound less serious, they can get you in trouble at work. | ||
#*Be polite. Following traditional rules of courtesy can help your professional appearance. In a meeting, for example, say something like, "Excuse me, Mr. Wilson, I'd like to share my thoughts on that matter, if possible." | #*Be polite. Following traditional rules of courtesy can help your professional appearance. In a meeting, for example, say something like, "Excuse me, Mr. Wilson, I'd like to share my thoughts on that matter, if possible." | ||
| − | # Concentrate on one thing at a time. Serious people tend to avoid multitasking, as it interferes with their productivity. Give your full attention to a single task before moving on to the next one.<ref>http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-foolproof-tips-for-finding-focus/</ref> | + | # Concentrate on one thing at a time. Serious people tend to avoid multitasking, as it interferes with their productivity. Give your full attention to a single task before moving on to the next one.<ref name="rf5">http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-foolproof-tips-for-finding-focus/</ref> |
#*It can help to make a schedule for yourself. For example, from 11 to noon, you return emails. From noon to one, you work on a report. | #*It can help to make a schedule for yourself. For example, from 11 to noon, you return emails. From noon to one, you work on a report. | ||
#*Multitasking encourages your brain to divide its attention. It can actually make you less productive, as you'll have trouble focusing enough to complete tasks efficiently. | #*Multitasking encourages your brain to divide its attention. It can actually make you less productive, as you'll have trouble focusing enough to complete tasks efficiently. | ||
# Learn to control inappropriate reactions. Often people react to uncomfortable or tense situations by laughing, not because it's funny, but because they don't know how to deal with the tension. If you need to remain serious in an uncomfortable situation, from giving a presentation to going to a funeral service, use thought techniques to keep yourself in check. Fo instance, try thinking of something serious (like how important this presentation is to your grade or your upcoming promotion), or try thinking about a difficult math equation and try to solve it. This may help distract you from your impulse to giggle and help "sober" you up. | # Learn to control inappropriate reactions. Often people react to uncomfortable or tense situations by laughing, not because it's funny, but because they don't know how to deal with the tension. If you need to remain serious in an uncomfortable situation, from giving a presentation to going to a funeral service, use thought techniques to keep yourself in check. Fo instance, try thinking of something serious (like how important this presentation is to your grade or your upcoming promotion), or try thinking about a difficult math equation and try to solve it. This may help distract you from your impulse to giggle and help "sober" you up. | ||
#*You can also try pinching yourself or biting the inside of your cheek, or taking a long, deep breath to regain your composure. | #*You can also try pinching yourself or biting the inside of your cheek, or taking a long, deep breath to regain your composure. | ||
| − | # Establish gadget-free areas. Your boss or teacher will be impressed if you avoid the distraction of your cell phone, iPad, or other electronic devices. Make a point of abandoning such technologies in areas where you need to act serious.<ref | + | # Establish gadget-free areas. Your boss or teacher will be impressed if you avoid the distraction of your cell phone, iPad, or other electronic devices. Make a point of abandoning such technologies in areas where you need to act serious.<ref name="rf5" /> |
#*Turn your phone off when you're at your desk or at a meeting. | #*Turn your phone off when you're at your desk or at a meeting. | ||
#*Do not take out your cell phone during work or school. You can catch up on calls or texts after you finish work for the day. | #*Do not take out your cell phone during work or school. You can catch up on calls or texts after you finish work for the day. | ||
| − | # Follow through on tasks. This can make you look reliable, which is a trait associated with serious people. Never miss a deadline or let an obligation fall to the wayside.<ref>http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISTJ.html</ref> | + | # Follow through on tasks. This can make you look reliable, which is a trait associated with serious people. Never miss a deadline or let an obligation fall to the wayside.<ref name="rf6">http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISTJ.html</ref> |
#*Take steps to make sure you know your obligations. A calendar, with reminders for certain deadlines, can help. | #*Take steps to make sure you know your obligations. A calendar, with reminders for certain deadlines, can help. | ||
#*It can be very beneficial to you to look dependable. Dependable people may be more likely to be chosen for certain opportunities. | #*It can be very beneficial to you to look dependable. Dependable people may be more likely to be chosen for certain opportunities. | ||
| − | # [[Stay Organized|Stay organized]]. This will make you look focused and driven, traits associated with the very serious. Keep your workspace clean and always be on top of daily tasks.<ref | + | # [[Stay Organized|Stay organized]]. This will make you look focused and driven, traits associated with the very serious. Keep your workspace clean and always be on top of daily tasks.<ref name="rf6" /><ref name="rf5" /> |
#*Take this as an opportunity to do a major overhaul of your workspace. Stop by a local print shop and pick up a variety of folders and files. Organize your work by categories, due dates, and so on. | #*Take this as an opportunity to do a major overhaul of your workspace. Stop by a local print shop and pick up a variety of folders and files. Organize your work by categories, due dates, and so on. | ||
#*[[Make a To Do List|To-do lists]] and reminders can help. Leave reminders around your home, office, and workspace regarding deadlines. Keep a to-do list every day and check off tasks as you complete them. | #*[[Make a To Do List|To-do lists]] and reminders can help. Leave reminders around your home, office, and workspace regarding deadlines. Keep a to-do list every day and check off tasks as you complete them. | ||
=== Avoiding Pitfalls of Acting Serious === | === Avoiding Pitfalls of Acting Serious === | ||
| − | # Check your body language in conversation. Being serious can be a great advantage in some situations. Socially, however, you may come off as too intense. If people feel uncomfortable around you, this could affect your success.<ref | + | # Check your body language in conversation. Being serious can be a great advantage in some situations. Socially, however, you may come off as too intense. If people feel uncomfortable around you, this could affect your success.<ref name="rf2" /> |
#*If you act serious during conversations, people may misread this as aloof. Eventually, people may realize you're simply very focused on the conversation, but an initial impression can be hard to shake. | #*If you act serious during conversations, people may misread this as aloof. Eventually, people may realize you're simply very focused on the conversation, but an initial impression can be hard to shake. | ||
#*Balance out the serious act with cues that show you're listening. Do not cross your arms, or put a bag on your lap. This looks like you're shutting someone out. Make eye contact on occasion, and try to look comfortable. Do not fidget or squirm during conversation. | #*Balance out the serious act with cues that show you're listening. Do not cross your arms, or put a bag on your lap. This looks like you're shutting someone out. Make eye contact on occasion, and try to look comfortable. Do not fidget or squirm during conversation. | ||
| − | # Lighten up during social gatherings. No one should maintain a serious act all the time. Socially, it's not appropriate to maintain a strictly serious demeanor. Try to loosen up at events where you are meant to relax.<ref | + | # Lighten up during social gatherings. No one should maintain a serious act all the time. Socially, it's not appropriate to maintain a strictly serious demeanor. Try to loosen up at events where you are meant to relax.<ref name="rf6" /> |
#*Let people into your personal space. Allow for casual touching, like a pat on the shoulder or back. | #*Let people into your personal space. Allow for casual touching, like a pat on the shoulder or back. | ||
#*Show people you're listening a little bit more. Respond with comments like, "Hmmm," or, "I see." Nod as a person talks. | #*Show people you're listening a little bit more. Respond with comments like, "Hmmm," or, "I see." Nod as a person talks. | ||
#*Soften your facial muscles a bit, abandoning the serious expression. Smile and laugh when appropriate. | #*Soften your facial muscles a bit, abandoning the serious expression. Smile and laugh when appropriate. | ||
| − | # Spend time in nature. People who are highly focused frequently enjoy the outdoors. The tranquility can help you momentarily relax. When you re-enter school or the office, you'll feel recharged enough to get back to acting serious.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201601/7-ways-productive-people-stay-focused</ref> | + | # Spend time in nature. People who are highly focused frequently enjoy the outdoors. The tranquility can help you momentarily relax. When you re-enter school or the office, you'll feel recharged enough to get back to acting serious.<ref name="rf7">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201601/7-ways-productive-people-stay-focused</ref> |
#*Go for a walk outside during break time. If you're near a park or woods, walk around there. | #*Go for a walk outside during break time. If you're near a park or woods, walk around there. | ||
#*If you work in the city, take hikes during the weekend. You may have to drive, or take a train, to get out of town. | #*If you work in the city, take hikes during the weekend. You may have to drive, or take a train, to get out of town. | ||
| − | # Allow yourself breaks. No one can act serious 24 hours a day. Incorporating breaks into your daily schedule is important to keep you focused when you need to be.<ref | + | # Allow yourself breaks. No one can act serious 24 hours a day. Incorporating breaks into your daily schedule is important to keep you focused when you need to be.<ref name="rf7" /> |
#*Set a reminder on your phone that goes off every 50 minutes, letting you know you need to take a break. | #*Set a reminder on your phone that goes off every 50 minutes, letting you know you need to take a break. | ||
#*Breaks do not have to be long. You can simply get up and stretch for a few minutes, or go get a cup of coffee or tea. | #*Breaks do not have to be long. You can simply get up and stretch for a few minutes, or go get a cup of coffee or tea. | ||
